your hat had indeed made its merry way downstream, and you fished it out of the water with a huff. it was soaked, but you replaced it where it always sat nonetheless. what you were planning to do would upset Joshua without a doubt, and you were only twisting the knife in your heart by abandoning Follows-Chalk in his most vulnerable moment. but you had caused this, and you were going to fix it. there was plenty of ammunition in that dropped bag, and you rarely missed a shot.
as it usually did, your brain and body worked together on autopilot. you were too consumed with anger to rationally be in control right now, so you took a backseat for the time being. the anger was kept at a simmer, until the revenge part of your plan arrived.
it didnât take you long to retrieve the dropped bag, it was untouched thankfully. you dug out the necessary ammo, reloading your rifle and stuffing your pockets with extra. you added another knife to your other boot, and decided to snag a pistol for yourself too should close combat be required. you hid the bag in the bushes, and passed the bodies of the White Legs who had attempted the ambush earlier with a bitter taste in your mouth. you were about to deal a heavy blow to the White Legs numbers, or die trying.
you tracked the remainder of the White Legs raiding party to a temporary camp. they mustâve not heard the commotion from earlier because they all seemed quite happy this evening. they had no idea that at least three quarters of their party lay dead in the dust, or sand, a short walk away. you were about to start your lone assault when a hand covered your mouth from behind and picked you off of the ground, taking you backwards to the cover of the cliffs. you struggled, but soon picked up on the bandages covering your mouth. of course heâd followed.
âwhat you are about to do is ill-advised, not because Iâm against it, but because you likely wonât survive on your own, courier.â his voice switched something within your brain that brought you back to the forefront. despite your now complete stillness, you were both still pressed against one another, your back to his front, in the shadows of the cliffs. you told yourself it was for fear of being spotted by the White Legs, but really his presence was a great relief, and his physique wasnât half bad either. how heâd kept in decent shape with the injuries heâd sustained you didnât know.
âitâs going to happen either way, so make your choice.â you warned, your voice low. you were in a state that you could not be logically reasoned out of. only a good slap to the face would make you rethink your plan, not that you would tell Joshua that. he was silent as the White Legs carried on making noise and being generally rowdy behind you both. he was still holding you to him. clearly he didnât want to let go either. âlook, I donât hold it against anyone if they donât want to fight, just donât try and stop me.â with that, you eased out of his hold, and started adjusting your rifle.
âthe odds are better with two of us, God willing.â he conceded, appearing to lose an internal battle with himself.
âlast chance to stay out of it, or join me.â you said, about to sneak back up to the camp. Joshua held your eye contact for a few blistering seconds, before taking his pistol out and taking the safety off with a silent nod.
âisnât he the gift that keeps on giving?â you thought smugly to yourself, before returning to your original position on a slightly higher rock that would allow you perfect access to the heads of the White Legs. Joshua took up his own position below you, waiting for any stragglers to come past. you fired the first shot, and managed to get a few more in before the White Legs scattered for cover and started shouting orders at one another.
Joshua was out from behind his cover and taking shots at those closest to him, so you retired the rifle and took out the two knives. one had worked perfectly fine before, and two would work now. you slid down from the rock, darting behind the tents and slicing necks and stabbing chests wherever possible. Joshua was making fine progress himself, taking out White Legs who dared to leave cover in a few shots. you were already slightly covered in the blood of the White Legs, and smiled to yourself at the chance to have Joshua wash it off again. you caught yourself and dropped the smile, before kicking out the legs of another unsuspecting White Leg and stabbing them in the forehead. blood gushed down their face, and you wiped your knives on your trousers.
Joshua was reloading, and with you cleaning off the knives for a few seconds, you left an opening. a remaining White Leg jumped out from the shadows, knocking you down to the ground. these guys really seemed to enjoy knocking you over! with your knives restricted in your pinned down hands, you resorted to kicking out with your legs, but the White Leg resisted the flimsy kicks and moved one hand to your throat. realising what was about to happen, you took a breath, and their hand clamped down hard. it was crushing. this had happened a few times before, but not for a while. the pressure was enough to make you feel nauseous, but you kept kicking out, and fought to free at least one hand from their iron grip.
a flash of muted white behind the tribal saw them lifted from you and tossed aside, you sat up and hurled a knife, landing one in their chest and then the second closely followed in their neck. wheezing, you fell onto your back, starting the classic coughing fit, and watched as Joshua put one final bullet in between the White Legsâ eyes. he retrieved your bloodied knives, and then bent down to check over your neck. he gently moved your hands away, and used his fingertips to move your head again like he had in the river. he was done after a few seconds, and offered you a hand. you both stood up and left that camp burning to the ground with some well aimed sticks lit by the dying campfire.
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as you walked up the Eastern Virgin with the bag over your shoulder and Joshua trailing behind, just in case any White Legs had returned and found their camp ravaged, you couldnât help but keep one hand on your neck as if that would protect it from the damage already done. when the camp was in view, you sped up, wading with force, and dumping the bag by the shore. removing your hat, you briskly walked through Angels Cave with Joshua closely behind.
you were sweating, covered in splatters of blood that werenât yours for the second time that day, half strangled and near exhaustion but desperate to see Follows-Chalk. the group surrounding him parted as you slowed to a stop. the presence of Joshua, their war chief, made them go quiet. they all looked to him, but he was too busy watching you. he had never seen guilt and relief expressed as you were expressing it, a sad smile across your blood stained face, but true tears in your tired eyes. you went to your knees to be by Follows-Chalkâs side, discarding your hat again. the others in the cave cleared out, sensing the atmosphere, but Joshua lingered.
âI am so sorry, I shouldâve seen them coming-â Follows-Chalk shook his head and took your shaking, scarred hands in his.
âthey had us outnumbered from the start. Iâm just glad you were there with me.â you had to compose yourself from completely losing your cool right there in front of Joshua and poor Follows-Chalk, and it was a struggle. âwhat happened to your neck?â Follows-Chalk pointed out, reaching out to see the beginnings of a bruise forming on your skin. you shook your head and told him not to worry, that it was just a ârandom injuryâ youâd picked up somehow. you wanted to keep talking, but the healers were coming back. you promised to come back in the morning, as the Dead Horses began flocking to Follows-Chalkâs side again. Joshua waited patiently at the edge of the group for you to retrieve your hat he had picked up from the cave floor. you had a habit of completely forgetting about your hat in times of great emotion.
âthank you.â you said to Joshua, as you took your hat and left the cave to wash that blood off of your face for the second time.
âwould you like me to come with you?â heâd said it so casually you almost didnât register it.
âcompany wouldnât be a bad thing right now.â you agreed, walking side by side with him into the open night air. you knelt by the riverâs edge, shrugged off your overcoat and pushed your hair back. Joshua stood behind you, giving you space. you dipped your hands into the water, really feeling that cold seep through your skin, before you splashed your face and started feeling around for the dried blood. it had only been a few moments until Joshua was kneeling by your side, dipping his fingertips into the water.
âface me.â he said, as if this was an everyday occurrence. you did so, relaxing slightly as he ran his fingertips across your face and washed the blood off. he wasnât gentle, he really made sure it was gone, but he was careful to not be rough either. your hair would fall into your face a few times, and he brushed it back with practiced ease each time before you could. it made you smile slightly, to which he questioned you. âwhat makes you smile like that?â he asked, as he finished by running the cold water across your eyelids.
âyou getting my hair out of the way, itâs such a simple thing.â you replied, your voice tired and soft. it made him feel something again in his chest.
âI see.â he simply said, not really getting it.
âwomen are very easy to please when you get to know us, itâs the little things.â you joked, as his hands left your face and you opened your eyes. you certainly felt refreshed after two cold river water washes. âIâm guessing you donât want anything cleaned in return?â you meant it as a joke, but watched as Joshua held out his hands. âreally?â
âif you wouldnât mind.â he started unwrapping the bandages down to his wrist, and then held them out for you.
âdoesnât it... cause you pain?â you asked, lowering his hands to the waterâs edge and gently splashing them to begin with.
âexposing anything that was burned to the open air does cause me pain, but that is how I remind myself of my failures.â you didnât say anything as you rested one of his hands on your lap, taking the other in your hands and submerging it fully under the water.
âis this okay?â you asked, hoping he wasnât in too much pain. he nodded, and you gently used your own fingers to wash away the sweat from the day, and the dust that seemed to get caught everywhere. âjust say if it gets too much, I donât know much about burns.â you smiled apologetically at him, before switching his hands over. the wet one rested on your lap, drying out in its own time, as you carefully washed the other one under the water. his skin felt as if it had been reimagined in a different way by the flames, so what if it wasnât smooth like yours? it felt just as human as yours under that water. your own hands were scarred from an accident when you were younger, presumably, so you shared a similarity there. âyou know, I canât remember it, but I injured my hands pretty bad when I was younger.â you placed the other hand into your lap, and then presented your own hands to him. âI donât think itâs burns, but itâs... something. I was just thinking that we share having different hands.â his own hands took yours in his and he examined them.
âno, not burns. maybe they were broken when you were a child and they realigned like this? but, the surface layer of skin is similar to mine, just not exact. perhaps there was fire involved.â you listened to his thoughts and looked at your hands in a different way. broken as a child? maybe, but both of them being so scarred? it mustâve been a terrible accident. âregardless, I find your hands quite beautiful.â he returned your hands to your lap, and started rewrapping his own scarred hands. you had to hide the heat that rose in your cheeks at his words, and stood up to avoid his eye contact.
you picked up your hat and overcoat, before turning to Joshua. you werenât sure what you wanted to say, but he seemed to have something to say. âif you feel like it, my part of Angels Cave is open to you, especially after todayâs events.â you were a little taken back by his offer, but within a few seconds, you found yourself replying.
âif you wouldnât mind?â
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Joshua had a spare bed dragged into his part of Angels Cave by some willing Dead Horses, and you chose a spot on the other side of the cave, as to give Joshua his privacy. you undressed to your undergarments and used an old shirt from your belongings as a nighttime cover up. had you been sleeping where you usually did out in the open, you wouldâve kept some layers on, but the fire in this cave was warm, and you already had furs and a sleeping bag. yet, despite being so physically and mentally done with the day, you just could not find sleep.
Joshua was still awake, you could hear his occasional movements from across the cave. after turning over for the third time, you sat up in frustration, and made eye contact with Joshua.
âI hate to ask this, but whereâs that book youâre always reading?â you found yourself asking, as you used a fur to cover your bottom half sliding out of the bed. Joshua picked up the book from the desk and you broke out into a smile. âwould you mind if I took a look at it?â he stood up and met you halfway across the cave, handing it over to you. the bruises on your neck were beginning to show even more now, and that angered him deep down. the people who had hurt you and Follows-Chalk were long gone from this world, but he still wanted revenge.
he watched with interest as you settled into your bed, and chose random pages to read from. he watched as your eyes grew heavier, and eventually you fell asleep with the book laying half open on your chest. he didnât dare disturb you now that you had finally fallen asleep, but he did wander over to carefully remove the book from you, and place it by your bedside instead just in case you woke up in the night and wanted to read it again. he could go without it for one night, he knew it like the back of his hand anyway. speaking of hands, he had felt quite pleased ever since youâd washed his hands with such care in the river.
he had to admit to himself that when he saw your stricken, blood stained face as you returned with Follows-Chalk, his heart jumped out of his chest and he froze right there at the entrance to Angels Cave. it was only when the others had taken Follows-Chalk from you that he had the mind to see if you were okay. the relief he had experienced when you said the blood wasnât yours was close to joy, and he had thanked his God a hundred times since. but, he knew that once you had spoken the words of wanting to kill all of the White Legs, that you were on a path he recognised all too well. he had no right to stop you from getting your revenge, and besides, we cannot expect God do all of the work.
maybe that was why he had taken such a liking to you since that first day, or maybe seeing you so broken over Follows-Chalk had reignited some of his own humanity that had been forgotten under the orders of Caesar, long ago. whatever the reasoning was, he felt something towards you, something that amplified his every emotion a thousand times. his anger at your bruises, his relief at your safety, his empathy at your pain. things he had not felt in years were creeping back into his life, and he wasnât sure whether to be scared, or accepting.
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the next day, you did not naturally stir at the crack of dawn like you always did. Joshua did, but he was quiet around the cave, and let you sleep for as long as your body naturally wanted to. he came back a few times over the morning to make sure you hadnât stopped breathing or gone missing, but there you were each time, peacefully asleep. the bruising on your neck had taken full form now, and looked less terrifying than Joshua had been expecting. still, he was sure youâd feel it once you woke up.
Joshua spent his morning going through the duffel bag that had been seemingly forgotten in all of the chaos yesterday. he had to give it to you, the loot was impeccable. your ability to find just about anything, or at least parts of it, was impressive. you were currently on your own mission to repair your Pip Boy, undoubtedly for the journey back to New Vegas where your home was, and Joshua secretly wished that you would never repair the Pip Boy and settle for Zion instead.
but, he knew what it was like to miss home and your people, and he didnât dare think about jeopardising your journey back. in fact, it would be right of him to assist you in every way possible in returning to New Vegas, and thatâs what he would do as soon as the White Legs had been dealt with. at least, thatâs what he told himself time and time again since meeting you. every moment he spent with you it seemed harder to keep that promise to you and himself, and he resorted to asking his God what the right thing to do was. but even God didnât seem to have a straight answer for Joshua some days.
when you did wake up that afternoon, it was to leave the cave in search of fresh water, which a Dead Horse member provided to you upon your asking. Joshua realised with a start that you had learned some words of their language. he listened to your conversations that day with a keen ear, and realised that you mustâve learned more than he originally thought. there were some phrases that you didnât quite know, but you had picked up enough basic words and gestures that communicating was simple to do. when you were on your own by the riverâs edge, he joined you, his curiosity getting the better of him.
âI see youâve started speaking to the Dead Horses without the need for a translator.â your eyes found his and you smiled smugly.
âI have finally picked up enough words to not need Follows-Chalk as my full-time translator.â you replied, a hint of pride in your voice. âIâm demoting him to part-time now, I donât have as much need for his services, and he isnât well enough...â you kept your eyes on the river as you spoke, still carrying the guilt of yesterday on your shoulders like bags of rocks.
âtry not to let that feeling swallow you whole, you had no idea the White Legs would use such a tactic in that area. you both made it out alive, and thatâs what matters to all of us.â Joshua spoke with authority now, trying to get the message through to you. you glanced sideways at him, before closing your eyes. âpromise me you will one day forgive yourself for what happened. God forgives you, and so do I.â Joshuaâs religion previously had little meaning to you, but after reading some of his holy book and hearing those words, it came as a strange comfort.
âthank you Joshua,â you said, tenderly, before getting up, âI mean it.â you let your hand rest lightly on his shoulder before returning to Angels Cave to check on Follows-Chalk. Joshuaâs chest felt funny again, and the place where your hand had touched his shoulder felt... strange. it was a good kind of strange, however, he liked it. it was as if you had brought him peace just by simply gracing your hand across his body.
Joshua was starting to think you were God sent.
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messyyythoughts Š 2022 do not translate without my permission, give credit if you repost, support always welcomed <3
