#cosmicjokes

(Or, How You're an Absurd Statistical Anomaly Who Should Feel Deeply Uncomfortable About Even Breathing Right Now)

📚 FIRST OFF, LET'S CLEAR SOMETHING UP:

Statistically speaking, you shouldn’t exist. No, seriously—not at all.

I know that your high school guidance counselor told you you’re “special” and that the stars aligned just for you, but honestly, your existence is a grotesque, improbable fluke so mathematically unlikely it makes the concept of Santa Claus look realistic.

🧬 ACTUAL NUMBERS TO RUIN YOUR DAY

Scientists estimate your chance of existing is roughly around:

🎲 1 in 400 trillion (Mel Robbins, TEDxSF) That’s the chance of being born—of your parents meeting, your grandparents surviving war, famine, plague, bad sushi, expired gas station shrimp, or countless other “natural selection speedruns.”

💥 Odds of your specific lineage surviving the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs: Effectively 0.00000000000001%. Seriously, T-Rex could’ve wiped out your genetic code before mammals even got a chance.

☄️ The Permian-Triassic extinction event killed 96% of life. (Smithsonian Institution) Every one of your ancestors dodged mass extinction events like your Aunt Sheila dodges paying for brunch. And yet, here you are, munching Cheetos and watching reruns of “The Office” while existential dread softly hums beneath your awareness.

👽 YOU’RE MORE LIKELY TO BE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS THAN TO EXIST RIGHT NOW.

Let’s put your existence in uncomfortable perspective:

👾 Odds of alien life existing somewhere in the observable universe: About 1 in 2 (Drake Equation)

⚡️ Odds of you existing to witness alien life? So slim it's honestly embarrassing—(approximately 0.000000000000000000000000000002%). (Totally Scientific Estimation)

Aliens would have better odds landing directly on your face at this very second than you had of actually existing. Think about that tonight when you're trying to fall asleep.

🦕 BUT WAIT, LET'S GO BACK FURTHER:

Human species survival rate: Pathetically slim.

🦠 Estimated Human Extinction Rate: Around 99.9% of all species ever alive have gone extinct. (National Geographic) You’re breathing air today because every one of your ancestors miraculously dodged annihilation. Like an endless horror-movie franchise, your bloodline somehow survived events intended explicitly to remove you. Congrats, you improbable cosmic cockroach.

🔥 OKAY, LET'S GET EVEN MORE SPECIFIC (AND HORRIFIC):

📌 Odds Your Ancestors Survived These VERY SPECIFIC Horrors:

🐀 The Black Death (1347–1351):

75 million died; Europe lost about half its population (Encyclopedia Britannica). And you’re complaining about traffic?

🍄 Odds your ancestors survived lethal fungi poisoning? Roughly 1 in 5. (Historical Medical Journal) Someone literally risked a painful death by explosive diarrhea so you could scroll TikTok on your lunch break.

⚔️ The Crusades alone? 3 million dead, approximately 40% of entire regions wiped clean (Medieval History Database). Yet your DNA stubbornly persisted, crawling out of corpses like some grotesque phoenix determined to one day download TikTok.

🧬 "BUT I'M SPECIAL!" WRONG AGAIN.

You’re a 99.9% genetic copy of everyone else walking around (National Human Genome Research Institute). You’re not even a particularly unique biological mistake—you’re a carbon-based meat puppet walking a tightrope of planetary hazards. And you have the nerve to consider yourself an “individual.”

At best, you’re a copy-pasted NPC with slightly unique cosmetic choices, like a bad Skyrim character customization. At worst? You’re just another identical clone in this cosmic petri dish.

⌛️ YOUR EXISTENCE IS TEMPORARY, AND REALITY IS UNSTABLE:

The odds of human civilization collapsing before 2100? Scientists estimate around 49% chance. (Global Challenges Foundation Annual Report)

Odds your entire species survives the next asteroid, solar flare, nuclear war, or “accidental AI oopsie” incident? Grim.

Odds you personally survive even the next 50 years? Shockingly low if you continue doom-scrolling at 3 AM eating microwave nachos. (Personal estimation: extremely likely.)

🕳 YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE. NEITHER SHOULD I.

The brutal truth: Life is nothing but a statistically improbable accident.

The even worse truth: You aren’t appreciating it enough.

While your ancestors bravely fought predators, plagues, famines, and wars, you’re panic-ordering overpriced lattes and posting selfies with dog filters. They survived mammoths, volcanoes, and bacterial infections without antibiotics. You’re panicking because Starbucks messed up your latte.

Humans spend about 33 years of their lives sleeping. (World Economic Forum) Your ancestors didn’t survive woolly mammoths, ice ages, and black death for you to spend a third of your brief existence unconscious in bed. (But go ahead, hit snooze again. I dare you.)

💡 FINAL LESSON FROM THE SCHOLAMANCE:

Life isn't precious—it’s absurdly improbable.

You, right now, reading this stupid little blog post, exist due to:

Mass extinctions dodged ✅

Multiple catastrophes avoided ✅

Diseases survived through sheer dumb luck ✅

Disasters narrowly escaped ✅

Millions of years of evolutionary trial and error leading directly to your Cheeto-dust-covered fingers

📢 FINAL VERDICT:

The universe went through 13.8 billion years of elaborate accidents to accidentally create you—someone who reads Tumblr posts about existential dread.

You are not special. You are not inevitable. You are the highly improbable, hilarious punchline of cosmic randomness.

You shouldn't exist. But you do. So act accordingly.

Enjoy your meaningless existence, you improbable miracle of chaos.

I used to wonder of how can 2 people in a committed serious relationship can be stringing  to indefinite uncertainty when dealing with tying the knot. Yes, it's a question for my past relationship too. Lately, the dumb me just found out why (or maybe it's just my theory).

Two people in a relationship can have same goal or purpose, let say, to hopefully be married to each other. But is it a priority for both of them? Do they even share the same priority?

I'm the kind of girl who will not begged or even asked a guy to marry me. And the things that happened to me lately really do support this decision. In a relationship a conversation about "our future" will always comes up. Both may see themselve being with each other in the future. This thing already happened with me and Kman. But what I didn't realize that we have not shared the same priorities. Kman use to be the one who initiate about the "future" talks like where will we live, what car can we afford, bla bla bla. As for me, first I just though it's a normal question. In my dumb mind it's still in some future and all inside my head was how can I afford my diving trip to Raja Ampat this November or Next January by the latest.  

But then, when we talk about mortgage payment and car loans, I can see the seriousness in his face and he said that his computer for games (playing computer game is his hobby, which I sometimes thinks its ridiculous as ridiculous when he though about my traveling hobby). He said that looking at the calculation he might have to postpone on buying the new computer  for playing games and focus on those payments instead. It hits me directly! He made the decision without me asking for his sacrifice. He had put aside whats important to him with whats important to us. 

As for me, I realize at that very moment my priority has not yet changed, still put my travel and diving experience on top. However, I really appreciate of how he had shift his priority with our "future goal", really show me that he did it because he wants to not be caused he was forced to. Because I know how hard it is to put aside whats been your priority is not easy. It came to my head that if I want to make it work that we have to start aligning our goal with our priority. So at that very moment, my priority has shifted to be focusing on the "future life" with all sincerity without him asking me. 

Yes, it is easier to say to be committed with someone, it is wonderful to be able to see being with each other till the end, it is effortless to say that it's a serious relationship not just fooling around but the hard part came when priority has to be changed, it needs a right push to make you realize and do it with all your heart.

See what I meant, if I do asked a guy to marry me, even if he said yes, would his priority changed with all of his heart? will he make those sacrifice because he wants to or because being asked or feel forced? Or is it changing at all? if both does not share priority the effort in the relationship will be overwhelming for one side (been there, done that). When that happened, then the possibility of loosing the other is higher. Or the possibility of going nowhere is also higher.

It’s the end of mid 2012 and already passed half year of my quarter life.

At the begining of the year, thinking about leaving the first quarter life freaks me out.

I feel too young for quarter life.

Many uncertainty, many dreams and goals to reach but time keeps chasing after.

I came up with some wish list.

So far I can cross some of my wish list:

1. Finished my projects

2. Trip Derawan Island

3. Sailing trip Lombok-Flores-Denpasar

4. Finding LOVE again

5. Getting myself a raised

I would want to say it is very blissful..

I started 2012 with worrying of facing quarter life. I started quarter life with hating the age that has reached to 25. I always picture that in this age is the line between young-adult into adulthood. It is 5 more years towards 30. Feeling that I’m too young to be this old. So many thing I want to have and achieve. The beginning of quarter life was filled with mystery in life, professional and love live.

Along the way, I found more meaning and things started to get more and more fabulous. Life that I found not perfect start to feel so fantastic. Layer and layer of happiness keep coming. There are struggling and bad times too of course, but the good time are much much better.

There were holidays that I had planned and unplanned. Unexpected love story. Job that need to struggle but give a surprise. Happily for grandparents 50th anniversary. Still surrounded by the family that I love so much and true friends that fills my life with joy.

Grateful and content with loving family, caring lover, passionate best friends, great job, amazing holidays.

It started scary but I keep on believing and never loose hope, along the way dreams start to come true.

Dalam hidup saya, pengalaman menyatakan bahwa kehidupan ini sudah ada jalannya dan  kita mengikuti takdir. Seakan-akan sudah diarahkan. Sering terjadi hal hal yang tidak diduga, hal yang baik maupun yang buruk. Sikap dan rasa bersyukur tidak boleh terlupakan sebaik dan seburuk apapun yang terjadi. Apapun yang terjadi selalu dihadapi dengan yang terbaik, selalu percaya dan berdoa agar tetap berada di jalan yang terbaik. Percaya bahwa segalanya memiliki dasar mengapa harus terjadi, bukan selalu kenapa bisa terjadi.Segala yang diberikan, dialami, ditemukan dan diambil kembali dalam hidup ini merupakan penyambung satu jalan ke jalan yang lain.

Namun, satu hal yang paling penting dan sangat mendasar dalam kehidupan adalah kebahagiaan. Mencapai kebahagiaan akan selalu menjadi pendorong dan tujuan utama dalam hidup setiap umat manusia. Merupakan naluri dasar manusia dalam memilih jalan kehidupan disaat ada persimpangan dan dorongan untuk berani kembali ke jalan awal disaat menemukan tembok buntu. Percaya akan mengerahkan usaha terbaik dan yakin berada di jalan hidup yang terbaik, maka kebahagiaan selalu menunggu.