#corintha

†  don’t fuck with the corintha women  †

It was late. Not midnight or anything. The sky was still the deep purple of a late spring evening, the fog wasn’t trying to roll in yet, the moons were high but the stars weren’t twinkling. But it was late enough for Deb to start the nighttime routine. Before she was tucked in, Alex let her know that they’d be out for a couple hours. Nothing serious, just a little… Shopping. The doors were to be kept locked and the main windows bolted, and if there was ANY suspicion of danger, she was to go to the basement and through the tunnels to the dragon’s cave. 

But Deb would be asleep, and Alex would only be out a couple hours, and the (somewhat) small troll girl was getting the irritated sort of tone that said she KNEW all this and UNDERSTOOD it so THANK you dad I LOVE you but you can GO already…

So Alex “snuck” out. It was indeed to shop, but that wasn’t the main reason. It was still sneaking out if they were visiting their no-longer-an-ex-but-still-somewhat-secret demon girlfriend. 

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"Alex."

Not 'my dear'? Or 'lovely'? Or even 'small one' in that affectionately teasing tone of voice? A voice of dark caramel. Of mystery and mischief. Usually one full of delight to say your name, but now...

"Yes... Corintha?" If she didn't use any overly-sweet pet names, than you figure you should match her in the gravity of the conversation you're about to have.

The two of you had been sitting together, leaning against one another (or rather you leaning up against her) on the couch this evening. The conversation was prepared with a heavy breath on her part and a nervous bite of the lip on your own.

She sits up and grabs hold of your shoulder, turning you to face her. If it were anyone else you'd be somewhat offended, like you were some child being reprimanded, but you know her. You know Corintha. She is a very physical person, using direct action far more often than she uses words or implications. You appreciate that about her.

"You're not yourself."

And when she does use words, they are also pretty direct. She's a very confidant woman. A steady rock to brace yourself on...

"W-no... I mean, I-I am, me, but..." She knows already. You think you know as well.

"You're... Hmm. You are distracted. I do not require constant attention from my lover," She is QUITE direct with her words, and that sort of statement still brings warmth to your cheeks and you glance away as she continues. "But, I require them to be at peace..."

She brings her hand up to cup your cheek and redirect your gaze to hers. It is hard. It is hard to look into those beautiful golden rings, which are full of love and concern, and present your own levelheadedness, if you even had any at the moment. You bite down much harder on your lip to keep from losing composure.

"Alex, I love you-"

"I love you too! I do! I- I know I haven't been checking in as often, and I don't mean to be neglectful, I really don't. But- I, I don't have an excuse and you don't deserve excuses, you deserve me at my best. You deserve the best, period! And I-..." You take a shaky breath.

"I know. I know that you love me." She leans her forehead against yours and squeezing your eyes shut you push up against her, as if the force would reassure her that this didn't have to happen.

But. It did. You know it did. You know what she's trying to say and why she's saying it and that at the end of the day...

"I also know that you are unwell. And if your split yourself between loving me, and healing yourself, you'll tear in two."

"You could love two parts of me..." You mumble, moving away from the gentle forehead press. You feel the rumble of her laughter resonate deep in your aching heart.

"I could. But I won't allow my love to hurt you." She takes another breath. "Alex... I won't see you as a mate from now on. Not until you are ready. Companions, yes, always. But for now..."

"A... A break..." She lets you say it, maybe because she knows it won't feel real unless you meet her in the conversation and say it out loud.

You hate yourself for feeling relieved, for your emotions betraying her like that. But you already knew she was correct. You love her, but between sickness and obligations you couldn't show her. Not beyond halfhearted attempts at plans and fake smiles.

To have someone who loves you enough to let you go, and to understand why you're drifting away in the first place, is one of the greatest honors you've ever had in your life. Besides, if you and Frenchie took a break once and came back together stronger than ever, maybe this was what you and Corintha needed...