#coping again

 I said thank you to Caley on Saturday. She looked at me as if I were an alien aha! I said thank you for everything that she's done. All the nice texts she'd sent me, all the cuddles she'd given me. She thinks that she didn't really do anything but when someone doesn't give up on you, that means a heck of a lot. She never stopped believing in me, even when I stopped believing in myself. She was always there when I had a problem. She really doesn't see how important to me she is. Everyone needs a Caley in their life, because I sure as hell don't know what I'd do if she wasn't in mine. 

I really thought that I had disappointed Lindsey on Saturday as well because I had a slight moment of panic in front of customers (which is possibly one of the worst things I could do) basically I'm quite scared of one horse, called Harry, and Linds had asked me to show a customer where he lives and to go in with them since he has a habit of kicking (no wonder I'm scared???) I panicked and then went and apologised to Lindsey later as I did feel so so stupid. She was so lovely about it though, she didn't realise I was so scared of him and when I stood there feeling rather stupid and annoyed at myself she gave me a hug and said "hey, don't let it get you down, next time I know not to ask you to do it! Don't worry about it."