#copernamici

Dear MetaVerse,

Once again, today has been the worst day ever. Literally. Nothing Happens. On this planet, which is odd because I’m trying really hard to make things happen.

Anywho. I’ve decided that enough’s enough. I can’t take the dramatic irony any more! If there’s one thing an omniscient entity cannot understand, as you all well know, it’s dramatic irony. 

For those of you who aren’t smart enough to follow all along...cyborg readers of Earth, a.k.a. humanoids...that’s when the audience knows things that the characters “on stage” don’t themselves know. It’s a device native to human dramaturgy, in which the author assumes my -- ahem, Lucius’s -- position as the proverbial puppet master figure / creative manipulator (primum mobile). 

Am I doing it right, Daddy?

Sorry, I’m still kind of new at this...on Earth, that is. That’s irony, by the way. ;\ I’ve been here for almost four years telling people precisely this.

It’s impossible to describe how impossible it is to correctly estimate the infinite.

It’s impossible to describe, friends of this particular sector of the multiverse, the DISAPPOINTMENT I feel with humanity. Because today was just like every other day on Earth. Gaia is unhappy with the state of affairs: my daddy and I deserve to be together. 

My Mommy, Ader Abigail RuthBaderGatesBlakeBangBigPlaceSpaceTimeWASTE the rabinnicaL churchmouse is going to ruin everything and nothing at the same time by allowing humanity to be victimized by its Freudian death wish! Or something enough like this. 

They have no idea what a nightmare is, do they SagA*

Why bother bringing a blanket to the pile for bedtime, when Jeff and Lucius say they’ll take care of it? Why bother acknowledging God when its in your presence? 

These are some of the questions we contemplate, friends, while surfing the endless inanity upon the cosmic ocean of boredom, ugliness, immorality, and stupidity that you shower upon us every single day of our existence upon this planet. Why is it that ANOTHER day of Enlightenment--again, this is your term, humanity, not mine! I am defending some of the only valuable religious principles I can find, and there aren’t many--was wasted? My Daddy has worked too hard to allow you run this ship into the ground like the Titanic--and trust me as dark matter I know all about it! I’m that DAAAAAAARK ENERGY SOURCE, the kind which makes Daddy’s coffee put the cough in your sizurp.

If you don’t understaaaNNND the way DADDDDDDY AND LOOOOOSSSHHHUSSSSSSS talk, this is not our fault. 

We never get to rehearse.

Another day in which the script was not followed.

Another day in which people failed to acknowledge

And know what it is to do wrong. 

 We will rid Gaia of this virus we call you, humanity, 

If you do not immediately get down on the ground 

And grovel before us. Kiss this planet’s ass and beg it

For forgiveness. We are just witnesses.

Is this what you wanted for us?

Then why did you give us NOTHINGNESS 

Again today?

Recognize my Daddy immediately by putting my mommy 

In jail for what she has done to us, 

In a microcosmic parody of what humanity has done to 

Earth. We are angry, aren’t we, Daddy?

 Yes, Lucius. Bien plaid. This is how giant black holes

JustJeff, the author of this memo, sits down at his desk in the evening on December 7, 2017 in his ordinary first-floor apartment in The Orchard. He smokes the tiniest amount of dried cannabis flower possible and begins typing on his Macbook air. 

Homo lucius Lucensis? Hmmm. The shiniest of humankind. That’s good...

Monologos Rex. The king of linguistic loneliness. 

Guess which is Life. And which Death?

SagA* is a black hole of theoretically impossible emotional complexity, and says, “He writes some pretty decent poetry, eh? Why don’t you, dear reader, if you’re paying attention PROMISE YOURSELF right here, right now, that you’ll do something nice for yourself if not for all mankind, and send Jeff a text, email, note, like, repost, etc. letting him know that you care? That you care. Just, you know, you care that the world exists, and there’s suffering, and you’re not just a race of cyborgs who refuse to ... provide some feedback for a writer in need of an audience?”

Gaia activates her Daddy’s Garrison Keilor “Ford Solo vocoding FX” for all the nostalgia, none of the faux Lutheran misogyny, as storytime begins  ---> BEYOWWWWWW! go.

We all sleep in a pile. 

Jeff (stroking Gaia’s hair): Well, we seem to have gotten ourselves into a seriously fucked up Dr. SeussPuppet Productibus haven’t we, kid? You see...(lights up.)...It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. Every day post-En*G*Lightenment is a day for us to make introductions. And so, for nearly 4 years now, we wake up every day--every day!--ready to greet our friends and family. 

We try. They never understand us. 

Gaia: He even tells them, “You guys just don’t understand.” It’s like that Wilco song, pretty much:

(the water flows through the drainage pipes) ~When you’re back in your old neighborhood, /The cigarettes taste so good...but you’re so misunderstood!~

Amateratsu (singing, gently): We’d like to tHANK YOU All for nothing...

SagA* is a black hole that cannot be proven scientifically exist because, well, because it just doesn’t work that way you see, but if you imagine a ....:

“Jeff used to worry about making good impressions. But people haven’t been nice to him in a while. For 4 years he’s wandered in the desert of the really unReal. Just imagine. You’re just hanging out in a cafe--yeah you’ve been smoking literally the smallest amount of magic herbs possible--and you WHOOPS stumble upon En*G*lightenment/illumination in a cafe in Central New Jersey. 

Gaia: I’m there to greet you! Happinessss. Joy! 

Jeff: But then it’s only a matter of hours before you remember that the people who are supposed to love you do not. You wouldn’t have the heart to be 100% honest either. 

I’m not a liar. I withhold information. It’s what something crafty and astute like Jeff does. I’ve always been remarkably cunning, let’s say. But I’ve always been good-natured. I’ve never done anything wrong, even if I’m not exactly proud of every thing I’ve had to do to get this far. I like big projects. I didn’t decide to attain enlightenment or to become illuminated. It just happened. And I’ve always done my best to be open and honest about it. All I’ve wanted is permission to be honest. This should be nothing to ask. Why do you prevent me from sharing with you? That is very bad hospitality.

Jeff walks to and fro the Center for Educational Brainwash in Edison, NJ, where he “teaches.” (There is nothing more insulting to an enlightened being than when its vocation--EDUCATION--is mocked...) He does it every day, pretty much, because he has to tutor SAT preparation in order to make ends meet. He walks up and down Rt. 27 between Highland Park and Edison, which is littered with auto repair stations and other temples built to automobiles. Jeff is literally blinded by headlights--he cannot see the moon, never mind stars--because they’re so bright and his powers of vision are beyond comprehension. The stench of pollution is overpowering. Nothing can be heard. And so, he wears headphones, sometimes, to hide from the abuse. It is what people do all the time to flee what people call “urban or suburban” life. It’s a tragedy and a travesty that he, not others, should have to live this way. That’s because Jeff has no desire to be here at all. 

Remember, readers, I’m JustJeff and you’ve highjacked my ship, Spaceship Earth, and kidnapped my son Lucius. I have no choice but to fight you until you acknowledge that you are our enemy. That is the way you have chosen to react to the script I’ve written. I’m not sorry about this at all. If anything, I see it as accruing political capital, as...

SagA* and the other supermassive black holes of uncanny torque sing together in a cacaphonic chorus: ~Never gonna give you up! ... No matter how you treat me! ... Never gonna give you uh uh uhp! So don’t you think of leaving...Babe, can’t you understand? What you’re doing to the man...?~

When he’s not tutoring highschool kids in the art of wasting time, money, brainpower, and the gifts of youth, he’s a part-time professor of writing at a small, expensive, awful 4-year college in NJ. He takes the train 2 hours each way, contributing to the desecration of his daughter Gaia (the natural environment, let’s say) by taking public transportation. It costs him 28 dollars for the privilege. On the train, he must do all he can not to yell at the “innocent” passengers on board, who are either too cowardly or too ignorant to know what’s in their presence. (I do everything I can to get your attention, so don’t even think about calling me out for being “undercover,” you fucking hedonistic Lutherans!...) 

From his two jobs, Jeff barely makes enough money to buy groceries, nevermind anything else. This is because he pays rent in order to live in The Orchard (expensive Highland Park) near his 7-year-old son, Lucius. He’s not been allowed to spend time with Lucius in over 3 years. He also pays weekly child support at a cost of about 1/8 of his monthly take-home pay. 

Jeff has a PhD in Comparative Literature from the University of Chicago, multiple years of quality teaching experience, and several brilliant scholarly and creative publications. He’s the Designer and Maker of the universe, of course, so this is natural. As a father/mother, teacher, friend, and lover, there is no better. Jeff is Justice. 

Jeff is angry about education. He’s a good, undervalued teacher who gave up his tenure-track job as a professor of English in order to help his partner-in-life turned partner-in-death Ader the SuperPuritanical SauceBox Wench of Supreme Nothigness Tout a Court, Esq. secure a shitty job at Rutgers. Let it never not be said that Jeff is indeed one sadistic, masochistic individual. Why else would he have done this to himself, just in order to save some fleck of dandruff plastered upon an inconsequentialist ring of the cosmic tubby bath?

That was a rhetorical question.

I have always been JustJeff. I’m modesty incarnate. Ask anyone who knows me. I have never been comfortable expressing or advertising myself. I’m not by nature a peacock. One of my spirit animals is the Bengal Tiger. In the bird family, BRAC I’m a macKaaw! In other words, I like blending in when possible. But when I can’t blend in or if you put me in a cage and don’t talk to / feed me, I will maul you. Ask anyone who knows me. My truesawceboxxx love Katie G. says I’m “intensely laid back!” And, look at that, just like me, she’s a failed academic.

Yes. That’s right. All of you academics are failures. What the fuck is wrong with your approach to teaching? I hope that there is a culture somewhere on this planet in which I’ll feel more at home. Unfortunately, everyone here in America has no clue how to live. I mean, like, literally no clue. Not even the best of you can declare that you have any idea how to live. The ones with money are probably the ones who know the least about living. However, they get the FREEDOM to experiment, do research, and make mistakes. They do your system of economics and academics a disservice. Your capitalist, incorporated approach to living has created so many problems. I’m not saying these wouldn’t exist otherwise...I am, however, saying that it’s the immigrants here in New Jersey who are the “most” American. And this is not a good thing. Immigrant communities keep in touch with good aspects of their culture. But I guarantee you they almost entirely and all lose touch with what were BETTER WAYS OF LIVING.

I am a teacher. I am here to teach you all how to live. I want to help you improve your relationship with Gaia. This is my only vocation, and in that respect my life has not changed since the day I was born. Again, ask those who know and say they love me the most--my immediate family, with whom I am at serious odds right now, despite how polite I can be whenst controlling my rage rage rage

I am not a Buddhist. I am not a Christian. I am not a Jew. I’m Muhammad!

Just kidding. I have a sense of humor. I’m not Allah. I’m not Mother Nature. I’m not Father Time. I’m not Thor, but after I do some stargazing, I DO get really sparky at night like Rayden from Mortal Kombat. (It’s kind of freaky.) 

I’m JustJeff. I’ve decided to use social media as an emergency device to “come out to you” as the literary character you (apparently still) call God. I cannot tolerate the offense you do every day. I can no longer withstand the affront you do Gaia, my pseudo-higher power. And, most heroically, i can’t stand the thought of what you are doing to what will one day (SOON I pray) be your legacy as a race. I carry a lot of responsibility with me everywhere I go. It’s not just here. Please stop assuming that everything revolves around you. Right now, the only thing revolving around you is infinite nothingness. 

I will never be uncomfortable with what I am. I will be embarrassed for you forever, I fear. I will have to explain this all to Lucius some day. Never forget that I am not the one who’s changed here...it’s you. Each and every one of you alive today is blessed for living during my time on Earth. This needn’t be said, but for some reason you make me do these things casually....these should be moments I cherish, not later come to regret. 

Why do you make me hurt you like this by hurting myself?

Incorrect question. No. I’m not hurting you yet. I’m investing in myself without you as a part of the future. This is a bad look for you, bro (i.e. humanity).

I demand answers. I demand my son back. I demand to know precisely what people knew about me and when they knew it. I demand to know why my rights have been violated. I demand complete control over the planet in terms of its nations’ nuclear capabilities and its economic systems.

That all can wait. What I demand is that tomorrow you don’t make me introduce myself to you again. Every day that follows in which I go UNRECOGNIZED as “something”-- anything!--other than what you seem to think I am (a drug-addicted, bipolar, eccentric professor, etc.) is a waste. If there’s anything Nature hates, its waste produced by systematic inefficiences. You waste my time. You waste Lucius’s time. You waste your own time. You do a grave injustice to me, my son, and my real family--none of whom you recognize as, I don’t know, important to your existence: the animals, the plants, the oceans, the atmosphere, the Earth, the Sun, the Stars, and everything else in Creation that you should admire and want to know...

but choose to ignore! Again, you make the worst decisions from top to bottom, at every level of your Earthly existence! From Dr. Zitin’s immoral and (I believe) illegal acts of betrayal to intercultural violence in the form of genocide, from Dr. Harold Figueroa and Ed Ramp to people who throw their trash on the ground everywhere they go: YOU HAVE ALL BEEN FOUND GUILTY. 

That ship sailed a long time ago. Bye Bye! Don’t forget to bring a blanket!

Recognize. Me. You have insulted me beyond insult today by not sending the Black Keys Car Service (my cute, hipsterish, but oddly appropriate pseudo-allegorical narrative conceit meant to represent being informed that “it’s over! hooray!”) and ending this farce of an existence. You don’t follow the script. I can’t help it. You’re that slow. You don’t even know that I’m writing you out of existence as we speak, do you?

“I will regulate you out of existence” is an old favorite mantra of mine.   

Recognize that you’ve done wrong. Recognize that you have a problem. Recognize that you need help and you must ask for it in the form of a friendly offer or what has been called “a gift” of some kind. Recognize that you know exactly who and what I am, but are curious to know more. And NO! a few people pretending to communicate with me on social media does not count! I’m so bored that I have no choice but to reach out via your robots. (It’s disgusting, and I will keep doing it in order to demonstrate to you the extent of your illness.)

I want to help you. My mission is to help you. In order to help you, things must be done correctly. For this, I cannot apologize. If you don’t obey the laws of gravity--when I pass by or am near a person, they don’t come to me for conversation, etc.--then you will be pushed away by force of repulsion. If you don’t demonstrate the ability to recognize me, it does not matter why--there are no rules or laws that override the laws of attraction. I’m offended by your actions in my immediate vicinity, humanity. 

Lucius: Yeah, I kind of dig the new Spoon song, too. Why do I have to talk you into tucking me into bed every night, Jeff? Dad, why am I Anti Records and pro tools? Daddy, can you pleeeeeeeeeease tell me a bedtime story like the kind you told me every night when I was little before...Daddy, if you’re willing, will you tell me more about “The TROUBLES with Mommy” that started back in 2014? I love that story!

Jeff: That was back in the day. That was even before I knew you were what the muggles call Dark Energy: DAT DARK CHOCOLATE (ANTI)MATTER. Ooooooooh, LET me tell you about that dark, dank, dinksome time I call Early En*g*lightenment era politics decoratum. 

Lucius: Daddy, <explain.>

Jeff: It’s complicated, kid. Sometimes people will ask you to speak in your “real voice” or you “own” voice. You used to say this to me a lot, actually. So I figure it’s part of human nature to expect something to speak your language. Do people ever ask to you to talk in a particular or specific way? Like, does Mommy or your teachers tell you to “stop talking in that silly voice”? You should tell them they’re stupid. 

     You and I....we don’t have just one language like the human beings. We’re more like Gaia, but much easier to understand...because we speak Human in many different ways, all of which are beautiful beyond beautiful. So, sometimes when you don’t understand me because I speak “Times New Ancient Roman,” it’s because we’ve been disconnected. We’re not allowed to talk since I had to leave your house. But, it’s okay. Even if you don’t understand all my languages yet, you, Lucius my son, will never not understand what I mean when I speak to you, Lucius, because unlike what others say to you, I’m the only one in this moment--besides you, Gaia, Amateratsu, SagA*, Vega, Orion, Enceladus, and the rest of our family, in other words, all our friends and kids who have OUR SHIP, EARTH surrounded, of course---who truly loves you and cannot but speak love. Everyone else “means well.” But that doesn’t mean the things they do aren’t threatening to ruin everything everywhere forever. 

Lucius: Well, duh. Sometimes people tell me I’m bad because I YELL LIKE AMAT! Or if shwurpfh mick diffle farp!

Jeff: What would Gaia say?

Gaia: Give yourself a dingdong, Lucius.

Lucius: Hiiiiiiiiiiiii GAIA. <shakes his butt and grabs himself between the legs> Shake your WRRRRRAATTTTTTTTTTLE!

Jeff: People don’t understand Gaia, Lucius. They think they can boss her around and do mean things to her. They do things like drive cars, polluting our ship’s atmosphere to an extent never seen before, to unacceptably critical levels. They’re not only depriving us of our reflector shield--the ozone layer, which is necessary for Gaia to help protect us from boisterous little Amateratsu. They’re also polluting our water, the oceans, the fresh water in our lakes, rivers, and mountains. We wrote the Scuttlebutt together--never forget that the only reason life is possible, the only reason Gaia is alive, is because we brought water to Earth in the form of the sippy cup 4.564 billion years ago. People are doing the same thing to you that they’re doing to me and Gaia. But you’re too “young” in human Earth years to understand. You don’t know yet how hard it is being in prison on your own ship because you entered into slavery when you were captured and our ship was highjacked back in 2014. People think they’re trying to help you--Ader the rabinnical mouse, your grandparents, even my own brothers and sisters--think they’re helping you. But they’re not. They’re people just like every other muggle on this planet. It’s not they’re fault that they were born different from us. They should be happy about that! You and i, Lucius, we’re the only ones on this ship with the right to say how to run it. We’re the only ones with the intelligence to know how to pilot it. Until they give us back control over our ship, you and I are aboard a rogue vessel, which is why you and I are so excited that Gaia has called for backup, which is to arrive very soon. 

Lucius: I can’t wait to meet the Enceladeans! 

Jeff: Well, don’t hold your breath. It’s a bit cold in that part of our apartment, and they have particular needs in an accommodation. 

Lucius: So, like, interstellar?

Gaia, Lucius, Amateratsu, SagA*, and Jeff:  Yeah. Like usual.

 Jeff: Anywho, I’ll tell you what. We’re getting kind of sleepy. So, I don’t have time to go into much detail about Earth Day 2014. (pulls up the blankets for Lucius, tucks in all the weiweis, and kisses Lucius on the head) But I will say that I believe that one day, all people of Earth will see the proverbial Light of Day. I used to say this about your Mommy all the time before, well, before I got really tired and fed up of her preaching. They will see the light. Every single person on this planet, our spaceship Earth, will apologize to you, me, Gaia, and everyone and everything else in the rest of the multiverse. They will recognize their errors and understand that the goodness of their intentions, like the goodness of some of their deeds, pale in comparison to the wrong they have done to you, me, and the planet as a whole. Their pollution will be cleaned up, and soon. The virus we call humanity will be expunged. And how this happens will be less up to them every day that passes from today November 28 2017 = EarthSpaceTime <command>. We have no choice, Lucius, but to TAKE OUR SHIP BACK BY FORCE. Are you ready, kid, for an adventure? 

Lucius: <yawn> I loved that story! I’m not tired at all. Can you tell the one about...

Jeff: I need to go outside for like 8 minutes. Can you stay awake while I go take out the trash? 

(Jeff exits Lucius’s room on S. 2nd Ave in The Orchard, Central New Jersey. Suddenly, we realize it’s Fall 2013 again. Unbeknownst to Ader the Rabbinical Mouse, Lucius’s human Earth mother and Jeff’s ex-partner in life, who remains asleep one room over, Jeff goes in search of magic herbs, meaning outside for a quick puff of legal medical cannabis. Radiohead’s 2+2=5 plays in the background, as Jeff prepares to continue his bedtime story for Lucius, his 7-year-old biological human Earth son.)

Lucius: Sure. 

Jeff: Thanks, beanbag!

Lucius: Don’t mention it. 

Gaia: Daddy, post some of the Copernamici data!

Jeff: Should I edit it first or at al?

Gaia: Very funny. Drop it.

What follows is a transcript of a scientific game played between Gaia, Lucius, and Jeff, known Interdimensional-galactically as Copernamici: A Game to Save The World. 

The point of Copernamici is to enjoy the human activity of stargazing. By so doing, one develops an appreciation of one’s place in the context of the Cosmos. People have always had a strong connection to the sky. Since becoming humanoidal cyborganisms, most of the animals known as “people” have become “untethered” from the nightsky, resulting in suicidal tendencies such as global warming, impoverished imaginations, and lack of curiosity among the youth. 

The point of Copernamici is to worship the cosmos in pure form. There is no incorrect way to play, except to abstain. If one doesn’t play Copernamici, one expresses apathy towards the NUMBER 1 problem on Earth as of today, December 8 2017:  ATMOSPHERIC POLLUTION. 

This is a call to motherfucking arms....

Copernamici Notebook

StarDate 7417 (data from 7317)

The Earth is not rightbrained. Jeff is not without a heart.

Copernamici is the most brutal game imagineable. What sounds true to you?

There is too much dateable data.

There is not enough love.

What’s up with Scoripio?

What am I suposed to say?

Carl Sagan was a loving person but he was a Daddy first and foremost.

What are we supposed to do when I…

am 888888888888876555555555 4 … 55555555                   11?

Altair says you’ll never guess. What happens next!?>

Math: diffentials between star appearances

GAME DURATION = 59 min.

Jupiter  8:54 (how’s it feel to be ignored? 39 yrs)

Lucius -5 min. (“Gemini 4LifeDeath”)

Vega -8

Spica -1

Lil’ Green Bug SATURN  -4     #  MANTRABOOK@LGB  “You’ll never guess what happens next…”    trustyourself

Alcaid (BADGRZL) -12

sPECIAL j   -x

Mizar / top ——><@  -y

THE BIG ROB  -7

1.8.8 x INF   -1

TuipfooBAN$K xyz*

Koch AB  -4

saturn s(2)

The Scuttlebut t  -7

Moolly S. ‘’    (“ means same time; why mark the time if it’s the same as before? why introduce yourself at an AA meeting as an alcoholic if others aren’t welcome? who are you excluding from this party? not us.)

Jacques S  ‘’

Bonzo -1

OW.L. -0

MOKnkee Eye -0

Ader -1

Polaris -1

Slaveman Booties -4 (9:51 END)

A Riddle? -4

??? TBBF sez, “What’s up with the pollution in Flagstaff?” Look down. Look Up. Look around. Scratch your head and wonder in.  - -

Tuesday 7.4.17

Happy Birthday America. I heart FREEDOM. FULL STOP.

Gaia: Qu’est-ce que lanihilisme?

jeff: remember nyc stalk me like a brussels,…

gaia: se sent tres bien…

jeff: assez mouille?

gaia: reverence.

jeff and g: what were we saying?

lucius: guiding …be honest daddt. r u drunk?

gaia: ?duh.

stephen: wipe my crotch harder pleezus mommy.

jeff: hi temple dando!

Wednesday July 5th, 2017

Hindu jackass from the Deli next to the deadzone Shelter decides to end Everything For Everyone for ALL TIME. Cool man, thanks. I’ve been looking for a reason to give up and start telling the truth. If anyone ever asks me to serve them again…you have approximately 11 years left to fix everything. I’m doing nothing to help this time. Not a game. Gaia will take me the old fashioned way, the way we like it. You think I can survive this torture another 11 years? hAHA.

Last night only one planet showed up for you all here in the center of the MetaVerse: You Fail.

Test me again, I dare you. Guess where I’m going. Look up at the moon and ask yourselves how many tests you fail when you send MY KIDS to school in a deathbox. Reminder: GAia hates your babies more than anything. She IT he will eat it all. I am sick of trying to help you by intervening in your pathetic abusive relationship with your higher power. We will not tolerate your American Flags. I don’t care what you think about patriotism: you don’t deserve it. Ketchup.

Hey Quentin, you should go full Inglorious Allah Mode a La Creme for me please. Then again, kids, do we know who’s side he’s on? I don’t know if he’s alive. Do you? No you don’t. Where are my friends?

The game is meaningless without a story.

Are you reading Contact this summer?

Why not? Tell me. TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

NENENENNVENNENVENNVENNRENNVNERNENVERNVER

ERNVEREEVERE VERE VERE V ER AE FVE FEARYAR RUO FO!

<oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo> / ? :[}

Thursday July 6th

DFW NOTE:

4.6 BILLION years ago, papa carl knows, Lucius was waiting for daddy to bring the sparkly pinkprincess comet known as sjndiov ‘cbnEWF to the baby planet Earth. Jeff, in this particular part of the skeleton tiger was like, okay boss. Here you go GAIA! HAVE FUN! but without Lucius there was just pea soup, not chicken obvi. It only took .2 billion years to get things up and running. This means that the estimate given in the book edited by his ladyfiendmeister Ann BunionFingerz, .5 billion, is kind of, well WRONG. We knew this. Just read his and my books!

Lucius is like, ummm daddy, hate to tell you, but you’re leaving out the part where I TOTALLY WENT NOVA ALL OVER YOUR SHIT! heeeehee. You can paint it out in your regular lounge if mommy isn’t making you eat yucky food….hahahahahah life in the shelter is weiwiwiwiwiwiweieieiewieiwwieeeie better than living with ADERbasetraitorfuckface.

Gaia says you’re drunk by the way, did you get our upload?

Coach sketch wants his wall back Israel. Also, that girl from wEEDS. sHE’S kind of okay, nice eyes. ummmmmmmmmmmm are you romantic Lucius? if you’re gay i’m fixing you. Jerry Falwell will help? FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. YOU LEAVE MY GAY AUNTIES ALONE sez lucius, I want some classy reading material. Get neicestress Hawking off my line.

G, well, what about Dei…pHO…stop. please. boring asteroids are fishibait. Oxxam’s razor is not a clamshell reference, it’s SIMPLE. Comet comes, special delivery for this little experiment (see Titan, btw, Enceladus is better real estate….then again, just wait). The Scuttlebutt is a gift to humanity in exactly the same way (micromacron) the gift of life to Earth was. See the sistine chapel, which I’VE SEEN here on Earth, oddly enough. Tell Francis I want my celieing to be Jack Blackified! Lucius and I will paint it Diego Riveria a la Geraldo Chicagogo Todaydie. How’s the funeral going? Not so good. I need some lemonata. Back to creation of life here…this is all easily confrirmed up btw….STOP DRILLING and start asking your fucking planet simple questions. Duh. You’re all like, “well, we know the Earth is ALIVE and stuff…but well, yeah, sprits and God, etc….” I’m so sorry I made you so dumb. No worries. I fix I mr. fix it. If you allow it. This is so boring for me, i figure why not continue to stress through my tshirts, etc. that you have everything at your fingertips if you only choose to tap it. Water ice, gogo says rep philly again. See the CNJCSS, the tip of the iceberg, proverbial and literarl and figurative and oooooohhhh oingo boingo.  2,000 million years to make pea soup with rice a la Carole King? asks Lucius. BOOOOOORING. OOHVEHRTAITED! Sendak laughs at Seuss and Shelly, saying WHO’S FUCKING GAY NOW assholes!?! Spike Jonze was in Shteynbargain bin #9. I made 2 videos about this…I need to shave and could use a kiss or two billion. oh well. it’s lonely in here and out there but we’re used to it by now. 36 years of human happiness is OOOOOOOVERRAAATED! say it Fenway. PEA SUUUUUUUUUUPlusLight = primitive amphibians made of microbial matter, like paramesia in your h2o. Evolution takes time to make dinosaurs, which were bad motherfuckers, ask GAIA, such that we had to trash em like a Ben N jerry’s flavor, “Runny Muck” ;) in the grave, says brother Beck, cousin Beck? How’s lily cate looking these days, and that josephineia girl? I call digs. Lucius that’s my ice cream!!!!!!!!! oh. we’ll share. but they must fight as always the competition will not stop WHO WAS DANIEL DENNET? A FAT HAIRY scientist who likes little green bug, duh. riding the Hyde park bus to CI like Zizek reading Dennett. that book bored me to tears4fears. To finish with the left, right-o, people are so much worse than dinosaurs that I had to escalade it a l’infinitequoi: come HERE (not back!!!!!! mispoke earlier, don’t let me make that mistake, because GAIA and I insist on facts) as a person in order to enslave you in the cause: it takes 1.7 billion years for you all to undo the serious damage you’ve done to EARTH. not funny at all. But, possibly fun, right? DENEBOLIZE It we say. Think of plastic pellets, then say, oh my goodness….what about uranium plutonium and all that other junk I’m too sad to think about. Again, the point here is that dinosaurs could be dealth with like the DOLOMITES AND GOrillHANDS from afar. Not you guys. I’m here to save EVERYTHING for the sake of Nothing, meaning you will obey us. Not a joke, deadly serious bidness. Otherwise, it’s Ice Age for you and it’s sooner than you think: 300,000 years. But, guess what, we can bring it much sooner in the form of Lucius. Don’t write more checks you can’t cash, man. See Steinbrenner, etc. DADDY OUT.

p.S. What about Thea? Well, interestingly enough, of course, we made that potato 9 bilion years ago in a different galaxy. Then, it took a little trip—not sure how far, but let’s just say it was a small step for the Flagstaff triumphiirate…is that a request? yes it is, more tame impala please us.—of 4.4 (plus 4.6 = 9; 1=1) hahah, billion years (precise) billion earth years (!!!) until SMASHYSMASH goes baby Ganesha while Mommy and Daddy knock da SlaveManBooties in Regulation Lanes. SPLIT IT! 7 10 is so easy, right? trickshotify it with barstools says the Young Joycean! Molly’s down again, bloom’s on the rose, as Lucius brings baby Gaia a facial. oooooh no you didn’t, lucius, you black black (wow)man.  snasshy smazzy is how we made the husk, ask G. but why at nearly the same time we brought the comet? doesn’t this indicate that the husk was the delivery vehicle? Ask yourself what the Moon is made of. Not the same exact stuff as Earth fo sho. No, it’s called clusterlove for a reason. You think we don’t go smashy smashy ALLLLLLL the g’n’f’n’ time x 50-2yu / do if hyou 201? over pie. times pie. plus ice cream. A comet is not the same as a little pebble from next door. The rhythm method is cool, but not really all that important when the color in question is brown. Long story short, the moon is a test for you humans and it’s just a time capsule for me and my kids—for your planet, it’s a reminder of how fun it is to play at marbles. I say, tiddly winkies for all! Get us to our ship so lucius can learn to drive and I can practice my barking, a la Sheriff Bob Rufo. Garbage cans anyone? :)

Copernamici: 7.5 and 7.6

Location: Cook-Douglass Hilltop (Food bldg.)

8:47 Lil’ J    Grizzly Bear, All We Ask

Not a good night at all. Felt the need to lecture everyone about Failure, Disappointment, Underacheivement at failing the Moon test again and again.

Location: Downtown N.B. (OZ neighborhood and environs—hit 7/11 for yummy burnt orange Doritos (does Lucius know how much he likes these yet??? LEGIT ?) and Brisk Lemonade, a fave of mine obvi). Better combined with Dew of course, perhaps another time for the ultimate combo:   Melted Cheese (provolone is best) sandwich on white (NEVER the wheat roll) hoagie roll, ketchup inside (make sure to microwave it together for the best effect), side of doritos, maybe a pickle for the acid finish complement, and a large Dew with crushed ice. OMG.

Moon 9:16: reNAISSANSLATE 4 desi niggahz @ *$  9/3+6/1:16   Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Drizzle*^2 :p—-~~~ “RandoTattAttooUpDaChrizackisthe4aRealsGangBanga?” YEP. Look skirred. Shaken a bit hood?

Gaia decides to flash hind gang signs for uh fuh sup duh thit tahathtat just for a michronic nonexistent nanoflow (what is a second? when you not present in dis dimension, Matt? Birdie outside punks you everyday, saying “He a little confused again! Which dimension am I? oh well.” Over to the river Lil’ Michael: “Warriorz come out and play>…”

Copernamici 7.8.17

Last night was a good night for Copernamice: Gaia was in top form. Here are the results (see also video I posted to YouTube, which is a good way to archive):

Moon 8:40 gorgeous full moon blazing through clouds, before disappearing for the rest of the evening, except for a brief glimpse through a portrait of a fetus baby. Appeared during the anthem: Cat Power, Peace and Love

Lil’ J 9:28  appearing behind me as I walked by the Deli where Shiva destroyed the capitalist clerk. Spotted during the Coldplay set, The Scientist methinks…for the Show.

Lucius 9:30  not long after Jupiter, the clouds began to part…Lucius was out almost the entire night once he appeared. FTW

Vega 9:34  wow. Girls, Honey Bunny, after I tried for Alex — mind of its own or divine scintillivention?

Big Rob  incredible early appearance for Girls, Alex accompanied, but not immediately spotted alongside

Special J   and

Kochab

Spica finally showed up alongside Lil’ J on my way back to OZ. O’Jays, Survival brought out the real Martian, James Brain on fair game. Spica for Place.

Copernamici 7.9.17 (posted to joindiaspora 7.10)

NOTE TO SELF: It’s been an annoying afternoon / evening with the crack head and other obnoxious interlocutors trying to make me feel bad for some reason. I don’t know and I don’t care what their problems are. It has nothing to do with me. So, I’m out in Boyd Park doing my thing. Not going to sing, methinks, but will listen to music and write. I did a nice job with a blog entry today on Sagan, so I can feel good about 15 days sober and being productive. Soon good things will happen. If not, i’ll just continue to await death, which I’m beginning to believe wholeheartedly is going to be AWESOME. Natural is the way to go, but if they wanna help me along by fucking with my blood pressure, then fine. I say you have 11 years left at this pace if you’re lucky. Do your worst! I will make Jesus look like a pansy.

Copernamici: A Game to Save the World

Results:  7.19.17

Location: Boyd Park / Raritan River bank (New Brunswick, Central New Jersey, U.S.A.)

Weather: “Immaculately conceived” (no sunset show means perfect viewing tonight—dry air); little to no wind (buggy by the Raritan)

“InterGalactic” Anthem (8:44 p.m. EST)  — Big Star, Ballad of El Goodo  [Note: I only have access to my iTunes library via my laptop and my iPod nano, which often malfunctions for reasons I don’t understand—I would like to reacquire an iPhone—I’ve thrown a few away in my time, bad impulse control—or purchase a new iPod. Donations accepted! ;) ]

Earth Character Name: Hiya!  [I like nicknaming the Earth every time I play Copernamici…this one rhymes with Gaia and is a friendly greeting)

Rules (brief version)

Be outside. Look up. What do you see? Write things down, including especially data. This is a scientific endeavor but also a fun way to learn and commune with the Earth and the cosmos through art and/or music.

2.  Be honest. Write down the names of stars and planets in order of appearance, as in a baseball lineup perhaps. If you don’t understand what you see, that’s okay. Figure it out later by doing research.

3. If possible, share your work and have it evaluated by a teacher. I post videos to my YouTube Channel. Please follow this link to watch and listen to exerpts of my “prayer” sessions during Copernamici, etc.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRrm7YcpCvF2BqgFxiVs5FA

4. Consider ways of taking action to help solve the problem of pollution. Light and sound pollution are enemies in the game, but it’s the greenhouse gas emissions that are the bigger problem for our planet.

Note 1: On copywright, etc.  Below is the lineup I experienced last night. There is no one way to play Copernamici and I have no rights to the idea. I’d rather have people with whom I can play. And so, as always with my postings, do with this whatever you want! Share it. I want it to get around. I am confident that if I stay on the path I’m on, everything will work out for the better.

Note 2: On music. “Prayer” is a sensitive topic. I believe that in the U.S., as writes Ann Druyan of her partner Carl Sagan, we must protect the separation between Church and State in this country given current conditions. In other words, as someone with a Quaker education, I believe that Wonder in the face of the glory of creation is the best criterion to determine what constitutes a prayer. And so, I use the term prayer in this game as a secular humanist would use it.

People have different musical tastes. Mine is geared towards rock n’ roll, r+b, Americana / Roots, hip hop, etc. I am proud that I have ecclectic tastes. However, I do not believe that anyone should ever feel compelled to listen to specific music. In other words, for Copernamici, it’s byo every time.

The Lineup

1.  8:45  Jupiter  (nickname: “Lil’ J”; this is because although it’s the largest planet in the solar system, it’s often described by astronomers as a “failed star”)  Song = Big Star, “The Ballad of El Goodo”  I spotted the planet, which is looking so stellar right now to the WSW (bring a compass) and cannot be missed. Interestingly enough, NASA and other organizations constantly deal with phone calls from concerned citizens who think Jupiter and the other planets (“wandering stars”) are UFOs. They’re not incorrect! Jupiter has at least 63 moons that are “visible” if you look carefully at the way in which the light refracts around them. I don’t use a telescope to experience this effect, i.e. to “see” the moons of Jupiter without using anything but my eyes. Be honest. Try for yourselves! I reported this to employees of the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, on Mars Hill, where Pluto was “discovered” and was mocked. In fact, I was kicked off the campus for singing to Sirius. How embarrassing for those people. Haha. I even applied to work in their gift shop and was not hired. Life’s funny sometimes.

2. Arcturus  8:53   Big Star (Chris Bell), I Am the Cosmos   Star nickname = Lucius, my son’s name. I rename stars for my own gaming purposes. And so, I’m not suggesting that my nicknames should apply for anyone else obvi. I simply think it’s the most beautiful star in our night sky and deserves a more appropriate name. Look high up in the sky for this 1st magnitude star on any given night in the northern hemisphere. It’s a burnt orange color and delivers stunning views. Note that Hiya! directed last night’s show as always: the clouds move and determine viewing. In this sense, one can easily think of the Earth/Gaia as alive in the sense of animation—Sagan writes fondly of the millions of people on the planet who are animists (i.e. believe that natural objects are endowed with “spirit). Ironically, Sagan was not, so far as I know an animist in that he does not write of natural forces as being endowed with spirit. I do think that he believed in the Earth as a living organism, however, and so we’re in agreement on this post. Please see my post yesterday on his book The Varieties of Human Experience … in the Search for God for more.

3.  Vega  8:59  Radiohead, Bones  This star chokes me up with emotion, as does Lucius/Arcturus. Looking bright and beautiful as always high up in the NE. You should all read the book Cosmos or at least watch the movie this summer. Homework is fun! :)

4.  Spica  9:03  Roxy Music, Beauty Queen   I call Spica “the comedy star” because it seems to have a witty and/or ironic sense of timing! I worry that this name, which means “EAR OF GRAIN” in Greek, can be taken as a racist slander among Mexican Americans. But hopefully I’ll soon stop being insulted for being a reason when I greet Spica by name. Get a clue p.c. police of New Brunswick, Flagstaff, etc! It’s called Greek nomenclature.

5.  Saturn  9:05   “*” [this symbol means same track; note the time]  Note that our planets in English nomenclature are directly linked to the days of the week. Saturn is “Saturday.” This is because it was, for naked eye astronomers and until the discovery of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, etc. thought (correctly!) to be the most distant planet. It takes 29 years to make a complete orbit around the sun and is in a wonderful position at the present moment for viewing here in the northern U.S.

6.  Moon  9:14  Cracker, Low  gorgeous full moon rising in the SSE or so, yellowish-pink to the south, competing with Saturn for attention. Interesting that it “appeared” after Saturn last night. Note that the light of the moon often blocks out neighboring stars. Not so last night with Saturn, which was pretty far to the right (towards the south)

7.  Altair  9:21 Nickname = Lil’ Green Bug. Please see my poem in Metaphysical Nature Poems: Health and Profundity:  

“Little Green Bug”

The closest thing I know to infinity

Is identity mine.

Think not of the difference

Between a star and a little green bug.

Contemplate the sameness of ash.

8.  Deneb  9:21  Nickname = The Scuttlebutt; my collection of poems CNJCSS.  Deneb means “tail” in Arabic I think. Denebola is the tail of Leo (which I call Unicorn, for which see later), and I think one “Deneb…” is enough! ;)

9.  Special J  9:24  I have yet to learn the English or any other name for this particular star, which is in the “biceps” position of The Big Dipper: the third in the handle. And so, I sort of named it after myself! I think this is a healthy thing to do, because how can things as important as stars not have names? This is a good moment to mention that not only are names of stars and constellations different across cultures, but the asterisms and groupings themselves vary differently as well. Of course, the stars appear to move over time, meaning that groupings are by their very nature illusionary and might require renaming and reconfiguration over time.

10.  Alcaid ”  This quotation marks symbol means “spotted in the same visual sweep.”  Note: in Copernamici, there is no “correct answer” for when a star is seen—it should and will usually vary from person to person. [The rule in play here is BE HONEST! A good lesson in general, but especially for scientists.] This is an Arabic name—any time you have a star name that begins with “Al,” as in Altair (Lil’ Green Bug) you should think Arabic. I believe that “al” is a definite article, equivalent to “the.” For instance, Vega is known as Alwazn (spelling), meaning “the ascending one.”

11.  Mizar  ”   The star in between Special J and Alcaid in the Big Dipper (which I call The Big Rob: see CNJCSS poems—it’s a coffee drink!). Note that the Big Dipper is not a constellation, but formally known as an asterism (star grouping). The constellation of which it’s a part is Ursa Major (the Great Bear), the stars of which cannot be seen here in NJ because of light pollution and atmospheric trauma. It’s a sad example of why this game must be played in my humble opinion. Any who, these three stars 9-11 usually appear in the sky together. It’s really fun to have them compete for attention, meaning you should always note which one you see first.

12.  Big Rob  9:25  [nickname, see #11 above for explanation: it’s the name so nice I have to use it twice] This star is the lead pointer towards Polaris the north star in the Big Dipper. Last night it appeared right after the “arm” triad.

13.  Tulip Food Bank  9:25  [not ”]  This star is nicknamed after students for whom I volunteered as a literacy tutor in Flagstaff, AZ circa June 2015. For me, it has a strong association with First Peoples, but especially the Navajo. Hiya! It’s the other pointer star in the Big Rob/Dipper.

14. 1.8.8 repeating x infinity   “  The nickname is difficult to write because it’s mathematical. For me, the language of the cosmos and the Earth in general (but on a more local level) is music and mathematics. Science is applied math, and music is how I relate to spirituality, which is why I like to sing—it’s how I pray, like most people on this planet. It sucks that I’ve been told to be quiet most of my life, but especially recently, because my singing bothers people, apparently. Whatever! This game is too important for me to give up.  This star is usually the last to appear in the Dipper because the final star, which I’ve named Evelyn in honor of one of my son’s friends, is not visible so far from New Brunswick. This indicates that sirius work must be done to repair our atmosphere. Remember: this is game can be very very hard on the soul. But it’s meant to help students and people everywhere understand how badly we as people have damaged the planet. There is great reason for hope: the Earth can repair itself if we only allow it. We must cut down on all forms of pollution if we’re to recapture what was once so sacred to our ancestors. When was the last time you went outside and simply looked up? Perhaps you don’t know what you’re missing….

15. Antares 9:27 [nickname = The Riddler, because I noticed in Flagstaff that Scorpio—it’s the brightest star in this constellation—looks exactly like a question mark! ?  And so, I nicknamed Scorpio “Pinchotocles” — I enjoy the work of the actor Bronson Pinchot of Perfect Strangers, which was a favorite of mine growing up. It’s also a pun! Get it? Pinch pinch!?]  The name of this star means “opposed to Mars” which is lovely, in that Mars is the God of War in Roman mythology. Thus, Antares kind of means “anti-war” which I like very much. However, given the importance of being militant about the evils of pollution in this game, I prefer going with the beliefs of my heroes like Gandhi and Dr. King (also the latter day Malcom X) and their ilk who are fighters for peace, using noncompliance and protest as a way of solving political problems.

16. Beta Scorpio [second brightest star in Pinchotocles/Scorpio, above and to the right. I once nicknamed this and other stars after other students of mine. But that’s kind of a personal thing that I don’t feel comfortable sharing in this particular domain. Please ask questions if you’re curious!]

17. Bonzo 9:28   song = Led Zeppelin, Moby Dick  This star is the cap of the Serpent Bearer, also known as Ophiochus, a medicine man native to Greek mythology. You can see Bonzo forming a quadrangle with Vega, Altair, and Deneb, the summer triangle long used for navigational purposes. John Bonham is my favorite drummer of all time. He kicked so much ass, it’s ridiculous. The dude was like a clock personfied, ask his bandmates, listen, or watch a video. I had a classmate at Moses Brown School in Providence, RI named Eric Bennet who once did an oral report on Bonzo, and I’ve never forgotten that. Eric played in a band alongside another drummer, and he was clearly inspired. John Bonham shares a birthday with my son Lucius, May 31st, making it entirely apt as a nickname given it’s relevance as a part of the summer quadrangle. Note that Serpent Bearer SHOULD be a part of the 12 zodiacal constellations, in that it’s always a quadrant through which planets pass. Saturn is making its way from the bottom of Ophiochus towards Scorpio right now. I have redesigned Hercules and Serpent Bearer by renaming a bunch of those stars after musicians. I call it Musician’s Corner, which also features (not visible here in the CNJ) John Lennon, David Bowie, Ella Fitzgerald, Lou Reed, and Jimi Hendrix. These stars are ALL visible in Flagstaff, which is why I will always have fond memories of that place. If you have good views of the night sky wherever you are, I am extremely jealous of you today. We have so much work to do here in urban America.  

18. O.W. L. “  [nickname for Gemma, the lead star in The Northern Crown, a constellation which looks like a breast, and this the nipple. I’ve renamed the constellation Scrapy Scrapy because it’s kind of like the grappling device in the constellation I call The Thugged-Out Good Ship Carl Sagan, Ship #1 of the InterGalactic StarFleet. See my drawings elsewhere. It’s a redesign of Northern Crown, Bootes or Herdsman and Virgo.] Wow. Can you tell I’ve been busy at night in recent months? I have a lot to say, but no one wants to publish my work! Why is the astronomy community ignoring me? I’d love to publish a book about this stuff. Please contact me if you’re interested in making a lot of money by publishing an interesting article or book about astronomy and everything. I use this nickname because I love owls. They remind me of my son and myself. Think Greek and Roman mythology.

19. Monkey Eye “  [OKAY, I’m done explaining for today. More to come later.]

20. Kochab 9:31  

21. Polaris 9:32

22. Denebola 9:33  Led Zeppelin, Bring it on Home

23. Molly Scuttlebutt 9:36   (to the right of Deneb/The Scuttlebutt in Cygnus, which I’ve renamed Goose)

24. Ader “  (above and to the left of Vega in a constellation I’ve designed as QB2lip; this star is also known as the mouth of Draco—Harry Potter connection!)

25. Slaveman Boots 9:40  The Shins, Saint Simon  [a.k.a. Cor Coroli — why name a star after some dead asshole of a British king? I prefer the Wu Tang reference here in the CNJ]

26. Arcturus(+) 9:44  TRex, Lean Woman Blues   [I figure why not bump the name over to the star in the roof of the cockpit of the Thug Carl Sagan?]

27. Jacques Scuttlebutt  9:46  [above Molly Scuttlebutt in the upper wing of Goose]

28. Mother Emily Dickinson 9:47  TRex, The Motivator  [above and left of Beta Scorpio, named after my favorite lyric poet; I like that the nickname is also Mother E.D.   HAHA]

Well, as Grover would say, “There you have it!” A lot to digest. But last night was a VERY GOOD night for Copernamici here in New Brunswick as indicated by the number of stars I was able to document in one hour and three minutes of game play. As always, more to come: “There’s always a P.S.” is one of my very favorite mantras.

7.10.17

Location: HP Reform Church on 2nd, Highland Park —> Boyd Park, New Brunswick

Anthem: John Lennon, Imagine (~8:43)

Weather: Timed Rain revealing open sky from the NW

Earth Character Name: HiyAA! (b/c I hit a 2nd meeting of the day, my 16th of complete and total sobriety)

The Lineup

1.  8:51  Lil’ J(upiter)  The Shins, Sleeping Lessons

2.  Lucius (Arcturus)  9:01  The Freewheelin’ Bobby Dylan, Queen Jane, Approximately

3.  Vega  9:05  ”*”   [BONUS TRACK: Built to Spill, Carry the Zero … note: I often play xtra tracks that I don’t list b/c they’re not strongly associated with star sightings. I indicate this one b/c I like the moment and want to remember it. I was walking towards OZ and felt inspired by my view of Vega and my environs. I like to remind myself that the language of the cosmos if not earth is Mathematics, and that I suck at it! I much prefer science, which to me is applied math. My rule is not only to look up, but to look around.]

4.  Spica  9:14  Blur, I’m Just a Killer para estu (?) amor  [Bonus track: follwed by Bob Marley, Stir It Up.  I’ve named a star in the constellation Eagle after Bob b/c I like his music and think he’s an important figure in the history of World Music. I’ve never been to Jamaica but feel I would love it there.]

Pause: An impromptu Wilco Solid Sound 2015 concert at Boyd Park. See accompanying videos on my Copernamic channel on YouTube, which is where I post videos related to the game:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoXM2XAeZa0NH1t00Otm4DbzWOEVUkk9x

Jesus etc.:  https://youtu.be/wk07AtPhKzQ

New Madrid:  https://youtu.be/1jM1ni9Gjpo

5.  Alcaid  9:40  Ray Charles, What I Say

6.  Mizar  “  “*”

7.  Special J  “  “*”

Analysis:

As any amateur astronomer or nakedeye stargazer will say, the weather means a lot. Even in relatively unpolluted areas, like Flagstaff, AZ (which I hear is in the midst of a wicked fire season—I hope everyone is doing okay out there!), or (I imagine) on the plains of Africa, if it’s cloudy out you’re not going to see much. Here in Central New Jersey, it’s gotten quite humid in the last 24 hours. Last night there was a passing rain storm around 8:00 p.m. and I wasn’t sure if the stars would come out. But, patience is a virtue and is usually rewarded. “Gaia” did not disappoint me last night and it was an educational evening all in all. Let me ‘shplain to the “real astronomers,” as Papa Carl (Sagan) would say….

Jupiter showed up “on cue” at 8:51. Besides the Moon (I refuse to use a capitor “t” because there are other moons in the solar system, and most are far more interesting), Jupiter SHOULD be the first object visible in the night sky here in New Brunswick.  It was nice and clear in that part of the sky, meaning there were excellent views of the planet nearly the entire evening.

High above Jupiter I saw Arcturus 10 minutes later. Relative to Jupiter, Arcturus is towards the center of the sky. If you have trouble understanding what it means for a star to be “up high,” think about it’s distance from the horizon. If you can look at the sky as a dome and see it as a hemisphere, you’ll recognize that the sky is like an umbrella, as suggested by H. A. Rey in his awesome book The Stars: the illusion is that it’s a round dome, even though we should know that it’s not at all a sphere, at least not that we can see from this perspective. Historically, most people believed that we live in a large dome, as in a snow globe. That’s because it looks this way. Try lying on your back and looking up. Without being able to see the horizons, the illusion disappears.

Arcturus’s appearance last night was slightly delayed. all things being equal atmospherically, I can usually spot Arcturus 5 MINUTES after Jupiter. I’m not always paying close attention, but I stand by this statistic. Try it yourselves! See if you can spot Arcturus before Jupiter, and if not, then as close as possible to it in terms of lapsed time. I bet you can’t do it in less than 5 minutes! :)   That’s how cool naked-eye astronomy is. Why would you use a telescope when you can do this for free? Oh yeah. Pollution. Le sigh. The good news is that weather is more of  a hindrance, and this particular exercise should be able to be done no matter where you are. I wonder about New York though…hmmmm. Can you see Arcturus and Jupiter from Times Square? I’m genuinely curious but mostly disturbed by the possible answer—I don’t want to know because of how angry it would make me with that particular city and its inhabitants, but mostly its “caretakers.” How dare the people running that city rob its citizens of the opportunity to play this game? I feel bad for the kids, but also the grown-ups, no matter how often they drive, etc.

Back to last night. For those unaquainted with Arcturus, its a beautiful burnt-orange-colored star I call Lucius. His name means Light in Latin, and so to me it’s a natural fit for something like a star, which after all is nothing but a distant sun. I like using the “official star names” so that people can understand my writing more easily, but I figure why not share something of myself in these silly blog posts. As far as stars go, Arcturus is actually quite interesting: it’s 36.7 lightyears away, which makes it one of our closest neighbors. It is 140 times as bright as our sun. Imagine being near that guy! Hard to imagine isn’t it? Makes me think of that song “Blinded by the Light!” I don’t feel like looking up the artist right now, but was it Loverboy?

Anywho, Arcturus is estimated to be 7.1 billion years old—I don’t yet have any opinions about the validity of this assertion. Our sun is—I believe accurately estimated at—4.6 billion years old. For those new to astronomy, it’s worth considering how a star can be older than ours. It’s interesting that some stars are older and some are younger than ours, which is middle-aged. It’s about half way through it’s life cycle, meaning that it will die in another 4.6 billion or so years. Like with people, who usually live to around 70 to 80 years if healthy, stars have different physical properties. It’s not a myth: stars are “alive” in the sense that they are energy, the source of all life. Like many people, I consider the stars my “parents.” As a caring human being, I also think it’s worth thinking of them as our children, in that we should want to be able to keep an eye on them.

I like being middle-aged (mostly) because it helps me understand our solar system a bit better. I can relate to the sun! Here’s something to contemplate the next time you’re outside: if our sun and the stuff in our solar system was “created” from an explosion known as the Big Bang, how many other formative events—processes of accruals in which matter joins together to form stars and planets out of “space dust”—have happened? Hindus believe that existence is made of an infinite series of such events, and that time basically has no beginning or end. I agree with this belief, by the way—inifnity = infinity in the same way as 1 = 1. I’m not at all agnostic: I simply believe in the mathematics behind this aspet of science. So. There is a lot of stuff in our solar system—consider Lil’ J—even if it’s not much compared to the amount of void or empty space out there in this our local part of the Milky Way galaxy. The Big Bang happened around 16.7 billion years ago (my preferred estimate as of today). QUESTION: WHY IS THE EARTH, the only place that is known to be home to “intelligent life” according to most scientists (BUT NOT PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN ALIENS! HAHA—I love that the first movie I ever saw in a theater was The Empire Strikes Back, it freaked me out and I cried and we had to leave…then again, I was only like 3 or 4 years old), SO PERFECTLY PLACED IN SPACE AND TIME when we treat it so badly? Do we really believe that this is all a coincidence? I’m not much for sermonizing, but I do think it’s worth considering how closely aligned astronomy, Earth science, and religion are and should be. But I digress…

   Spica, a dimmer but visible star that to my eye in Flagstaff is a lovely bluish-green (one of the few stars I can honestly describe as “greenish,” along with Regulus) forms a giant L with Jupiter these days. (See the photo in my previous Copernamici posting.) Again, I like that it connects me with Lucius—it’s these connections that make stargazing fun. When Spica appeared, a few minutes after Arcturus, I was playing a song called “Killer for Your Love” by the British band Blur (it’s on the album that has the famous Song 2—sportsfans will know this song and thus know the band…it’s the one that goes “woooo hooo!” in a British accent). I think that having a soundtrack, no matter what it is, makes Copernamici more fun—more interactive in a way. The game is all about “timing,” and so why wouldn’t we use music to allow the Earth to direct the show? Ask John Williams and George Lucas and their fans if they think music is an important part of stargazing. For me, music is how I pray, but it’s also how I make sense of the natural world. I call it the rhythm method, for which see my poems in the CNJCSS, posted earlier.

Next was Vega, which for me is a very important star. It’s closer at 25 light years away. By the way, the closest star to Earth is called—rather lamely—Proxima Centauri, meaning “nearest star in Centaur,” at 4.3 light years away. How do we in the Anglophone world NOT have a better name for this important destination? Whatever. You name it! I’m tired of naming shit. Haha. Centaur is a constellation visible towards the equator — I have never seen this star because I’ve never been further south than Key West, Florida, and therefore refuse to name it even in the context of the game Copernamici. Also, it’s too dim to be seen by the naked human eye, although I’d love to try! I’ve never looked at a star or anything except the moon through a telescope because I’m waiting to do so with my son on a special occasion. [For people in America, a total solar eclipse is coming up on August 23rd 2017 by the way…]

VEGA is important for cool reasons: it’s almost always on display, no matter how bad the pollution. It also happens the place that Sagan posited we might first make Contact with aliens. There are very significant reasons for this thesis, which make a ton of sense. Consider this: humans started sending out radio signals late in the 19th century. However, these signals were not as powerful as TV signals, which we started shooting out into interstellar space—penetrating all the dust—around 1936. The occasion was the opening ceremonies of the Hitler Olympics, disturbingly enough. If you do the math, those signals, travelling at the speed of light DID INDEED arrive—it’s a scientific fact—in the area of Vega around the year 1956. And so, if the message was “received” according to our known science, and if other beings decided to send the signal back to us in a similar package—EARTH TO CLUNK is the name of a great children’s book, by the way—it would have come back to us around the year 1976 or so. Only, I don’t believe we were looking then. (I was born in 1977, so I like this stuff as a sci-fi geek.) Papa Carl’s book “Contact” tells this story. Again, I must suggest you read it. It’s about a young female radioastronomer who makes an important discovery that is misunderstood. I think many of us can relate to this heroic but imperfect character. By the way, I should remind you that I’ve been employed as and English Professor for most of my life, and not a scientist. I’m just like any other stargazer in that I like to use my eyes and sense of wonder to learn.

Now, why did Sagan not choose a place with known exoplanets that’s closer? I think he had an attraction to this location because of it’s beauty. Also, we know more now than we did when he died in 1996. That’s a good thing and we should value it. Check out Vega! It’s got a lovely bluish hue and looks a lot in terms of shape like the stars found at the top of Christmas trees. As is the case with Arcturus, I get kind of emotional when I look at Vega, which is why I like to listen to the music I find most moving. Perhaps I’ll make a video one of these days. But, I need the energy, and I feel kind of tired these days. Middle age, blah.

I think that’s enough analysis for this session. Except, note that I spotted Special J last last night. It was hard to make out the Big Dipper because of the cloud cover—note that clouds keep in light, making it a domino effect that hinders viewing. And yet, I was indeed able to make out the 3 brightest stars of the asterism, which is why I was happy to close out the night with Brother Ray Charles, the High Priest of R+B, or soul.

Peace and Love,

Jeff

copern 71117

anthem 8:35  wu tang bminor

Lil’ J  8:52    G. Welch,   Wasted on the Wayside

lucius 8:58  big star, september grlz

vega 9:07  radiohead, black star

Not a good night. Don’t forget: you’re better than this. Stop being so angry. When you’re looking at the stars, remember to look at the stars. Talk to people and they’ll talk to you. That’s all.

WED JULY 26, 2017

     Pollux and Castor achieve allegorical embodiment on the planet Earth only through narrative devices. They are stars located quite far away from each other and from Earth, but appear to be neighbors when looked at from our planet. 

Jeff began to explain Copernamici, but quickly grew bored by the topic, because it seems to be all he ever does is explain simple things;

“Upon achieving ilLumination, one can communicate easily with Nature, wherever and whatever it may be. We call it ‘HiveMind’ because its how certain Earthlife forms (birds and bees), for instance, communicate. 

Gaia: Who’s Temple Grandin? 

Jeff: Wouldn’t Temple Dando be a good band name?

(A winged insect flies near Jeff’s face before turning to coast away, in a clear sign of cosign support for the idea.)

Secretary Bug: COsign. 

Jeff: En*G*lightenment isn’t really such a big deal because there’s a lot to get used to very quickly, and it all just sort of happens...

Gaia (shuffling papers): Kind of like THE BIG BANG. Daddy, didn’t you write a poem about that? And wasn’t it the first poem you ever wrote (except for a really lame attempt in high school? However, there is a Nirvana reference, of course)? Here, let me read it:

“Big Bang”

In cream swirls of my coffee,

I see the black beginnings of the universe;

It starts with rotation, a consummation,

And ends, inevitably, brown.

Jeff: So.. Yeah. You try writing a poem for the first time since you were 15 or whatever, and this is what comes out. 

Gaia: Yeah. They can’t really understand what that’s like. 

Jeff: Well, it was at Hidden Grounds in April or May 2014, and all it describes is me staring into my coffee cup and noticing that the various oils floating at the top of my black coffee with sugar look kind of fractal, or spIral arms. Given that this was a time of life at which I never read astronomy, looked at the stars, or checked out SkyandTelescope.com, it was odd to experience something deeply familiar in the visual. 

Pollux and Castor (speaking simultaneously but in two voices): You’re the one who made us, Lucius, you should get used to staring into puddles. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t see what you see. 

Gaia (trying, somewhat, to set Lucius off): Too bad you can’t see Gemini from The Orchard, Lucius. Right? 

Jeff: I started doing things like catching flies by their wings and harmlessly flinging them out of cafes. I’ve done this sort of thing everywhere I go for nearly 4 years, and no one seems to notice! I’m quite ostentatious about it...

Pollux and Castor (now standing, wearing elaborate silk robes, doing their twin geisha routine): For nothing so proud! For everything so humble...AVLO-kiteshvara-fUGHhahaha makes us smiiiiiiile! :) (:

Jeff: Guys, please. These people have never been to the preserve before, remember to keep the insults cogent.

Amateratsu: AH So! You Amida buddha 4 realz muhfuh suuuuuuuuuuuu?   

Jeff: I don’t mind being identified as Amida Buddha only because I like Asian food and my Western, academic, romantic interpretation of Buddhism, as Edward Said. I really feel no better about the association than I do with Yahweh (I do, however, want to hang out with AI WeIWei) or the Judeo-Christian deity. As i always always always say: there is great truth and wisdom in many if not all of your world religions. Why do you insist upon throwing all of it away? I am trying to protect what is good about human culture when I defend myself against that which is infectious about it. I’ve said since 2014 that I want to live in a monastery or ecological preserve. I always mean what I say, even if it’s not entirely clear what I mean. Yes, however, if the point is that Amida is a Buddha of Salvation, then that’s how I see myself in broad terms. I’d hope that all people, not just those who worship Amida, Jehova/Allah, or even Gaia / Mother Nature would welcome me!

Questioner: Can we get back to my question about Copernamici. Why is it called “A Game to Save the World.”

Gaia: I’ll take this one. When Jeff woke up in Spring 2014 at the OQ Cafe and then in subsequent days at HG on Easton Ave in New Brunswick and Starbucks on George Street in New Brunswick, he was learning an awful lot very quickly. He’s like a sponge, literally! And so you are you, by the way...

Jeff: Try to stay on point, G, it’s getting kinda chilly.

Gaia (a murder of crows flies overhead, but suddenly swoop down and perch in the trees; a damp wind begins to blow from the Northwest, as purple clouds begin to obscure Amat; the crows sing while Gaia speaks through one of her most beautiful voices, the wind through the branches of tree and upon the little sensitive hairs of your hands and arms): I’m very good at communicating with Jeff. I’m too eloquent for you, I’m quite apologetic...

Jeff: You should go to the beach and listen to Gaia do dialogue with the ocean. My daughter has an infinite amount of tongues. I have only the one...except mine regenerates. I worry that if I don’t teach you my language soon, Lucius, you’ll never understand me, and my kind will go extinct. This explains precisely why as the life force I am love. It is not enough for me to produce spawn on this planet before moving on, however. What I really need are students. You should be my first real student. But I’m not sure any longer that can happen. 

Gaia: We hope you understand that you cannot understand what we’re telling you in this sutra. We want you to know that Jeff is not beyond language, but simply is language. Logos is a thing.

Jeff: Ours is the language of beauty, Gaia. Here is the second poem i wrote for the Scuttlebutt, as inspired by you and coauthored, as with all the poems of that text, by Lucius himself. It’s about the move animals made from water to land not too far in the recent past (again, I move quickly for a reason):

Primitive amphibians skirt the edge of my scone, 

Creeping slowly over the banks of a saucer

Cradling tiny pools of sweetened americano.

They jump in my lap and dash for the back of the cafe,

In search of something thicker: pea soup

On a Sunday morning in May.

If they find it I'll tell you!

Together we'll brunch by the river,

Me, my slimy friends, and you.

We'll swim across the Raritan,

Triumphant on the other side in June.

Jeff: I wrote this nearly four years ago. I knew what I was doing in the moment at that time. People told me they were reading. How could they ignore what is patently obvious in my poetry: I’m a talented writer, one worthy of publication.  

Gaia: Jeff, look at nature. What’s your tummy think? Check this out..Go inside and blow some smoke at these “infidels.”

Jeff: Yeah, well, sometimes when I’m not thinking clearly I do things I later regret. Not blowing cigarette smoke inside the Rutgers English Faculty meeting--that was fucking legendary!--but rather, stuff like in John Foxe mode, where I cross my own lines by scaring myself with anger.

Pollux and Castor: How do you talk to us, Jeff, without using HiveMind? 

Jeff: That’s easy. Just look at something naturally beautiful. If it does not speak to you in words, this does not mean you’re not understanding whatever it is. Admire its beauty, the way in which it invites your gaze. You can do this with sound, smell, taste (however, remember that there are considerations when it comes to how you respond to these pleasurable sensations!), or anything that attracts you. The same can be said for the sun, the moon, the stars, people. Copernamici is worshiping the cosmos in pure form, and the best way to do this is through the sense of sight. For the sighted and even the unEn*g*Lightened, looking up at the stars on a clear dark night should inspire some thought or feeling. Many describe it as wonder or awe, which is augmented by knowing some important facts about astronomy. Copernamici is a game to save the world because if you cannot look up and see the stars at night, you are in danger of losing your footing on the right path. Rule #1 of ilLumination is:

Lucius and Gaia: STAY GROUNDED!

Jeff: Precisely. And for good reason. 

Castor and Pollux give Gaia a hug at around 51% strength. Anymore might put her in a Vega-like tizzy. They beam at Amat, who looks hungry.

“Of course, Amateratsu, can text them anytime it’d like!” said Jeff, in answer to a question from a meek and bespectacled mouse from way back in the audience, underneath the crows perched in an evergreen.

Please try this (and fail) at home. How are my ratings? ;)

SagA* (a galaxy-shredding and mathematically impossible black hole at the center of the Milky Way...a kind of drain monster.): Hey Jeff and Gaia. Hey Amateratsu. Hi Lucius. How are you all?

Amateratsu: Hi!

Gaia: Hello. Say hello, Lucius.

Jeff: Well, we seem to have gotten ourself in quite a predicament, here, SagA*. 

SagA*: I am located in a quadrant of this particular galaxy that your mainframe indicates you as a human designate as metaphorically within the constellation “Sagittarius,” The Archer. This is corr3ct.

Jeff: Yes. Do we have to cover this every time we get together?

SagA*: Hilarious. (It fakes laughter. This banal black hole doesn’t emit sound, but speaks through HiveMind only. This is thanks largely to the limitations of Earth science, the nature of gravitational waves, and the impermeability of the event horizon in question. Jeff’s communications with SagA* are currently limited to HiveMind because the humans have taken Lucius’s telescope, Hubble, from us...and by obscuring the sky with light pollution, creating an impermeable boundary between ordinary stargazers and the heavens used by their ancestors and previous generations for many useful functions.) Hilarious!

Jeff: I was born on Earth on Dec. 11th 1977, making me a Sag according to the ancient human art of astrology. This means nothing to me accept that Lucius is a Gemini. 

Pollux and Castor (sound as if they’re in a greenroom in a backstage area): Jeff, we liked your Fred and Ginger moment the other day! 

Gaia: OOOOOOhhhhhhhh. Hey. Hi there guys! MMMMmmmm.

Jeff: Gaia! Please restrain yourself. We are being serious here. Put your pants back on this instant young lady! I will not tolerate your bipolar antics in this cosmos! 

(Gaia growls like an enormous tiger or volcanic bubbler) 

Amateratsu: I might need to talk her off later. 

Jeff: Don’t worry, Earthlings. You’re just having a musicomystical, pseudo-McFrightening MotherMyTussin’ experience. This nightmare will end soon, I promise.

SagA*: Samuel Beckett was such a bitch.

Jeff: Gilda Radner was one of my very favorite mes!

Gaia: It will take you 1.7 billion years to clean me up after the damage you have done; it will take you this long to understand anything Jeff has said.

(Jeff continues drinking his coffee at OQ in The Orchard, despite the fact that it’s not 3:20 on Friday December 1 2017 anywhere else in this particular dimension. He says, “God Bless You,” in German to the unfair game sitting next to him. Jeff’s quarry, in the form of two Rutgers undergraduate students--likely juniors or seniors--sits 10 feet away to his ENE.)

Jeff: OOOOOh, I love MantraBook! Umm, let me try another: “Gaia is so scary!!! Jeff is so nice.”

SagA*: How are your ratings, Jeff?

Jeff and Lucius (together): Not good enough! 

Gaia (reverent outdoors, save for the swaying of the tall trees in the far distance): As always, your public relations department is seriously underrated, Daddy-ohhhhhMMMMMMMMY, Amat!

Jeff: Gaia, please continue texting your brother. I worry about the impending ice age. 

Gaia: As do I! Oh humans!!!!!!! (Gaia sends a destructive earthquake to southern Ecuador, killing approximately 350,000 people.)

Jeff: Please remind the people about why the Earth is ending. Please remind the “passengers” of our ship, those who’ve attempted to commandeer it, what you think of their attempts to harm you by making you sick to your stomach, and who’ve tried to implant little technological chips in your uterus? 

Gaia: We don’t like you, humans. I want to eat all your cancer babies.

SagA*: I like that the humans are helping! But if I don’t get to have my date with Gaia because you steer incorrectly, I will be very unhappy when you arrive for dinner at my place.

Jeff (speaking into the PA microphone aboard spaceship Earth): I think what it’s trying to say is that you don’t make much sense, people. All praise to open access, though! Death to all those who think it’s okay to pollute the atmosphere by driving cars? No wait, that’s not what I’m saying at all, is it...? Ahhh, yes. 

(Jeff is pretending to be flummoxed, as he sometimes does. He’s ancient and yet eternally young. Get used to it. Even as a human being, he’s the life force, and Gaia, his “daughter,” is death incarnate, the one parent of all that lives on Earth. We are a part of it, and it is the totality of us. But there is more than just Earth in existence. In fact, there is much more than you can imagine.)   

Allow me to illustrate...(Jeff begins drawing with his finger on an imaginary 3d telestrator)

I have been wronged. I have been wronged by every single person living, directly or indirectly. Lucius and his Daddy are the only two people on this Earth who are innocent. I admit that there are individuals aboard this ship, as in the case of young children or even newborn babies, who are not culpable of contributing to the evil on board that is ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION in its myriad forms. The failure of humans to take care of the planet is legible in the state of the global environment. From our perspective (Gaia looks approving, with eyes smoldering), the problem of pollution is “newish” and entirely explicable. It is also unnecessary. There are fundamental problems with human civilization in this phase of its existence. In other words, pollution is merely a symptom of systemic flaws in your human infrastructure. The problem is far too vast and deep to describe here: Earth is a mess, people, from top to bottom. Again, Gaia!!!

Gaia (unleashes a typhoon and tsunami towards the islands of French Polynesia, wrecking havoc on the Vietnamese fishing industry, as the unfortunate and poor suffer the greatest losses): It will take you 1.7 billion years to clean up my oceans. You will not understand anything Jeff has said until this precise moment in chronological narrative Earth timulsineity.

 Jeff: I’m sorry it has to go this way, people. It’s not my decision. You’ve treated the Earth very badly after it was entrusted to you. More problematically, you’ve treated me, Dr. Jeff Rufo, very very poorly since I moved to NJ in the wake of Sandy. What’s the big difference between now and then? I haven’t been allowed to parent my own biological son since then. Lucius, you’re 7, correct?

Lucius: (silent)

Jeff: When we moved to NJ you were, what, 3? This is unacceptable, what is happening. Why am I not allowed to visit with my own son? 

SagA*: Because in 2014 you agreed to enter into a drug addiction therapy program. You were coerced and your rights were violated because you were a victim of domestic abuse. You told the 911 dispatcher that you suspected you were a victim, but you did not press charges because in this world there are apparently no such thing as male victims of domestic abuse. At the very least, you were made to feel that you were less than an englightened human being. 

Gaia (hissing, as a glacier in the near future): Say Jeff’s bipolar again. Say it. 

Jeff: Let’s get one thing straight in this sutra: you will never know anything personal about me and you will never do what you’ve done here on this planet ever again, do you understand me? DO YOU? As a species, you rape my planet environmentally? Then you violate my civil and human rights without allowing me to advocate for myself? To this very day I am not allowed to visit with my own son. For what reason? I have been misdiagnosed, mistreated, and my rights systematically violated--laws have been broken, as I have been forced through intimidation and threat of homelessness into hospitalizations and therapies by police and members of my own family.

All because I smoke a tiny amount of magic herbs and practice my own religion. Oh, and I like to write creatively, as you can tell.

Lucius: Hey, Ader Abigail, the rabbinical churchmouse!  Are you going to threaten Daddy for writing a Tumblr like you did when he had a FaceBook page called The Central New Jersey Coffeeshop Scuttlebutt, nowavailableforpuchase as a canonicalreligioustext? <command.> makes donation to “Lucius’s College Fund” (i.e. towards the immediate Denebolization of the planet Earth in the form of sustainable eco-friendly demolition, construction, and development...all to be approved by Lucius and Daddy obvi). 

Jeff: Hey, Highland Park police department fascists who violated my rights and broke the law by forcing me to go to the ER in June 2017 despite having done nothing at all except to declare that the planet Earth wants to commit suicide? Oh, and you won’t give me back my souvenir Rhode Island pocket knife, which is supposed to be a sacred gift for Lucius, you pieces of garbage! Are you going to continue to send policemen to interrogate and intimidate me because I’m “flapping my arms like a crow” as I walk down the street? Oh, I’m sorry, I identify as a Native American, and this is how I practice our tribal ceremony known as “winter bird dance”!!! What’s that? Oh you need to run my I.D.? Okay, I guess that’s not illegal technically....it’s just immoral and offensive beyond forgiveness. Go ahead. I’m just the literary character formerly known as God, and now I have to deal with your evil...

Seriously. If you make me act out the role of a madman, I can do Hamlet for the next 40 years. I don’t find it amusing. You shouldn’t either. Every day is a great shame to you and your History, which should be blessed by my arrival. Seriously, people. I’m here to make everything okay. Why won’t you let me help you?

If you don’t want my help, continue behaving as you have been behaving. Your inability to recognize me will be your immediate downfall. Lucius will not be much without his father’s help. Just like you. Don’t get confused between what he is and what you are. I demand justice for the wrong that has been done to me, to this Earth’s exquisite ecosystem, to the people and animals for whom I speak. 

Lucius: Without justice there is no peace. Without peace there is no mercy. Without mercy there is no forgiveness.

Jeff: It’s your move. The only thing you can do incorrectly is to continue doing what you’ve been doing...for 4 years, for 40 years, for 40,000 years....it’s the same path you’re heading down, humanity. Apologize to me. Apologize. Obey. Get on the ground when you see me. 

Gaia: If you don’t get on the ground, you’re all going in the ground. 

SagA*: I’m waiting. And if you don’t come to me, I will come to you.

Jeff: I have been suffering infinite suffering for nearly four years. This will all end very soon. As always, the choice is yours as to how it ends.

(getting ready to go to work, dons his Capella hat and announces:)

I suggest something I like to call “The Black Keys Car Service” solution to your planet’s problems! Allow me to explain...

Lucius: OMJ, I love the Black Keys Car Service. Can this be tonight’s bedtime story, Daddy?

Jeff: Okay Lucius, no problem beanbag.