Humans are Space orcs: Coffee
Hey hey heyyy! I just realized :
Coffee is very important. (lmao) So naturally you can add Iof to why humans freak out Ailiens for one thing wow. Addictive.
Imagine an Ailien crew member watching the human security officer drown her sleepiness in a big cup of Joe every morning and tremble glancing at the manual page 88 subsection D12 that no crew member may entertain a drug habbit while being an integral part of a Inter galactic starship and has to muster the courage to ask her to stop before the horrible incurable life deterring side effects kick in! “Horrible incurable life deterring side effects?” Security chief Anna is confused. “What?” First Mate officer Linux pudding like body swirls slugishly with discomfort. “That substance you drink, is highly addictive and toxic!” He can smell the noxious vapors from Here it makes him feel weak and sick. Musterng his courage he bubbles out to this terrefying master of combat “and may i say, its in very poor taste that you just bring that swill on the bridge! You could at least be subtel about your drug habbit. I will be forced to log a permanent demerit on you profile for theis.” The security chief blinks back stumped, not mention emberassed and outraged for the mark on her perfect record. “But…. it’s coffee. It’s not, what? Poisonous?” Medical officer Hachicinick makes a timely apperance. “Ah do I smell caffine? Anna, you MUST let me take apart your kidney one day. Evolutionary work of art. Wouldn't you say? That dear coffee plant spent millions of years making toxic caffine to deter herbivores from eating jujuut and there you omnivorous frea of kature go, seeking it out for FLAVOR. Now that kidney.mmJust for a few hours, I promis I will give it back immediately after my examination.” Anna whips her head around, she has NOT had enough coffee to deal with this crap! “Hachback not now!” She barks a little sharply. Linux trembles “see! It is already making you irritable and lashing out against crewmates. This is a serious danger to all of us.” “It’s Hachicinick.” The medical officer trills calmly “First Officer Linux, I commend you for your vigilance and concern, but, I can assure you tha Anna is not carrying on a dangerous addiction. It is true the caffine is dangerous for you and me but it is actually quite energizing for Anna, I would wager her productivity and efficiency would actually drop if we made her stop.” “Is… this a human thing?” Linux asks melting into the carpet in exasperation. Anna downs the whole rest of her cup in one go, slamming the ‘best security officer in the universe’ cup down on her work space “yes!”
Bonus round!
Ailiens discover coffee shops as a place for friendly discourse and ridiculously over developed coffee mixtures.
Some Ailiens can metabolize coffee but don’t get the energized thrill, so instead of alcohol it is sometimes fun to challenge a human to drinking contest of coffee and then watch them bounce off the walls for a few hours.
Speaking of ridiculous mixtures, Ailiens are partial to decaffeinated extra milk, double choclate, half moca, coconut soy latte, without the coffee.
