Competent (?) Cuisine Starters
“Cooking is half the fun of a dinner night.”
“Really? You can’t cook? At all? Whatsoever?”
“I need to teach you some culinary skills.”
“Okay so after for three hours... I’m just gonna order take out.”
“You filled the house with smoke and somehow the alarms did not go off?”
“All that was in the pot was boiling water, and it’s still burnt!”
“I know a quiet place that’s open this time of night... yes at 4am.”
“Too much food was made, way too much.”
“This was a good first attempt! I don’t think I’ll get food poisoning!”
“Okay, I tried, through burning and maybe only destroying one pan, I tried.”
“I can’t get this recipe of yours to work. Did you set me up for failure?”
“It was only three steps. Somewhere, a fourth one was made and well...”
“Alright. I have an idea, but it’s going to take two weeks, some patience, and you tolerating me in your home and kitchen.”
“An empty fridge and an empty stomach make a terrible combination.”
“Really? You mix that together?”
“Now I know it looks hideous but it tastes great. It’s like the rule of cheese.”
“We have now reached the point where the spice has taken the feeling from my face.”
“This is certainly... food...?”
“I’m surprised you cooked this much in so little time.”
“Cooking? As a talent? You’d be surprised.”
“I’m not having a guest eat my leftovers. We’re classier than that.”
“Lunch date? Not necessarily with the date part but, you know.”
“I managed soup in the microwave. Yes, without it exploding.”
“I remembered to not put metal in the microwave this time!”
“Did you turn the stove off? Please tell me you turned the stove off.”
