#controlvictimization

The box is the culprit of self-destruction of highly victimized persons. It forces them to compromise damagingly until they hurt themselves or continue to allow other to hurt them. This is a harsh truth that people often overlook. An understanding of The Box and our emotions alleviates the suffering. The problem intensifies as feelings of being a victim begin to overcome us from being steadily or horribly abused by The Box.  We begin to set up rules in our mind about who or what we can and cannot trust.  Sometimes these rules are so broadly defined that we can begin to have one or more of the following senses of victimization—when we are owned by certain hatreds or fears such as the list below: Hate/fear all men or all women Hate/fear school or teachers Hate/fear bosses or all authority figures Hate/fear the dark or anything like it Hate/fear giving speeches in public Hate/fear social settings or certain kinds Hate/fear doctors or hospitals or dentists Hate fear parent mom, dad, or both Hate/fear physical pain or things that cause it Hate/fear money or lack of it Hate/fear tests or quizzes Hate/fear certain animals or insects Hate/fear being alone or being with others Hate/fear certain places or activities Hate/fear of being criticized or found out, and etc. (the mind can create many hatreds and fears) Why We Develop Hate and Fear? You might be thinking that at one time or another we all developed such fears or hatreds–and that can be true.  But, what we are talking about—in the case of victimized thinking or victimized feelings—are thoughts and feelings so interwoven that a person is owned by this web-like hold rather than approaching things in a healthy way. Victimized persons are in The Box almost constantly—and they help keep it in place when it causes them to rely on coping skills that (most times) are not normal behavior strategies.  In fact, when highly victimized persons are present we tend to wonder why they act in such ways. Their choices for reacting to things can be categorized into the following: too emotional, not emotional enough, not appropriate for the situation, or happening far too soon or far too late.  Remember, they are owned by The Box in some kind of complex and strong way, and have become victims of corresponding (deeply held) thoughts and feelings—their own Box. The feelings associated with victimized thinking are often so robust that the victim develops a need to create ways to offset them.  Self-medication is a strategy whereby a person uses food, drugs, or alcohol to drown out the feelings. Self-destruction is another strategy whereby a person tears himself down, places himself in situations to fail, or gravitate to causing mental or physical harm to himself—sometimes suicide. Also, drawing attention is another strategy whereby a person knows things are not right (perhaps unconsciously) and does things to cause people to pay attention to them.  Hiding out is still another strategy whereby a person becomes reclusive or shrinks from building social relationships, even to the point of pulling away from family members and friends.  Remember, highly victimized persons lost control of their lives—as others controlled them frequently and abusively. The Box trampled their free will. Now they are simply trying to survive as comfortably as possible, even if they rely on strange ways of dealing with things. Therefore, we need to help those who feel or act like victims – not ridicule them or add to their woes.  If they are truly overwhelmed in this way, they need professional help – and our compassion.     Read the full article