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"I don't want to be like this. Please tell me how I can do better."
Thank you so so much for the ask!!! I kinda changed things a bit to fit Aki⊠But I myself caught the sads, so instead of making Akiâs day worse, i figured this would be nice to write out :3
Aki startled awake, her mind racing. She looked around her room, finding Gâraha blessedly asleep beside her, exactly how he had been when she fell asleep. They were in her bedroom at her familyâs house, still. Far, far away from that damned tree that haunted her nightmares.
That was all it was. A nightmare.
A nightmare in which Aki was the one to cause the calamity. The one to usher her village inside the only building and lock them in while a meteor struck it. In her nightmare, she laughed.
She wasnât laughing, though. Perhaps the proximity to where it all happened was causing the nightmares to flare up.
Aki quietly slipped out of bed and out the door, wandering down the stairs into the living room where Constianne sat repairing a broken vase.
âEvening, Kiki!â She greeted cheerfully.
Aki blinked at her a couple times. âI would have thought youâd be in bed.â
Constianne chuckled. âNah, these are my roaming hours.â Her eyes narrowed as she examined Aki. ââŠYou okay?â
Aki shook her head âno.â
âNightmare again?â Constianne asked.
âHowâd you know?â
Her aunt shrugged. âLucky guess. Grab a blanket- itâs a beautiful night. Want to stargaze with me?â
Aki smiled softly, wasting no time in grabbing a blanket from off the couch large enough for the both of them. They went to the backyard where they found Akiâs favorite stargazing spot.
Constianne wrapped the both of them up in the blanket. Neither said anything for a while. Aki leaned up against her aunt, counting every shooting star. Constianne pulled her even closer, wrapping her arm around the small miqoâte.
âHow you feeling?â Constianne eventually asked, voice barely above a whisper.
âBetter, from the nightmare at least,â Aki admitted softly. âI justâŠâ She trailed off. âI feel like some sort of a monster. Like that curse my village thought I was. And I donât want to be like that- Like how I am. I must have done something truly horrible to deserve these dreamsâŠâ
Aki looked to Constianne with misty eyes. âTell me how I get better. I want to prove them all wrong, but Iâve made so many mistakesâŠâ
âOh, darlingâŠâ Constianne squeezed her tightly. âYouâll make mistakes. Lots, in face. Gods know I have. But you cannot let those weigh you down. You gotta get back up and keep trying to be the best you that you can be.â
âForever?â Aki asked. âThat sounds tiring.â
Constianne nodded. âIt is. Itâs so hard. You wonât ever stop making mistakes. Thatâs how you learn, Kiki. You fail, you get up and try again. The position you are in makes your mistakes seem a lot bigger⊠But youâre a normal person, just like everybody else. The only way to get better is to keep trying, and keep trying, and keep trying. Thereâs always gonna be someone to catch you when you fall, but you must be willing to stand back up and keep going.â
Constianne smiled at Aki. âYou arenât alone in your struggles. All of us have made countless mistakes. You saw me break Florianâs favorite vase earlier, yes?â
She nodded. âYou felt so bad. I saw you trying to fix it for him after everyone went to bed, evenâŠâ
Constianne grinned. âExactly! That was my fault. I know how much Florian liked that one. And so, even though I messed up, I tried to fix it. And I know Iâm not done- Even if itâs together, it still has cracks and you can see where the glue spilled. But by trying to make things right, Iâm a lot better than I was before then. Even if it would have been easier to just throw the pieces away⊠I wanted to be better than that.â
Aki nodded. âI think I get it.â
Constianne kissed Akiâs hair. âI think you do, too. And I think youâre doing amazing already, sweetheart. You get better and better each day.â
Constianne looked over Akiâs shoulder to see Gâraha standing in the doorway. âAnd, I think youâre being summoned to bed.â
âAre your roaming hours up?â Aki asked as she unraveled herself from the blanket.
âNah- I have a vase to finish. You get some sleep, okay?â
Aki nodded, giving Constianne one final hug before running over to her fiancé.
Modern!Constianne is having the time of her life