#conffused

I’ve been through A LOT since my last relationship… I’ve been sad all the fucking time, I felt betrayed, unloved, unworthy of someone and not good enough. I felt so down I didn’t know how the hell can I recover. But I started to be okay again, because I wanted to be okay, my friends helped me in the process of moving on. Then one random day u followed me, on twitter to be exact, I followed you back. I admit, I became curious like “Why in the world would this guy follow me, I don’t even know him” curious. So I started stalking you. I think I dmed you bcos of the dm game that’s happening on twitter. I told you you were cute or something.. So you replied after a couple of hours, we started talking, you asked for my number and.. we never stopped exchanging msgs ever since. And on the 28th of december 2013 we planned that you’d join me and my friends that night. I started to like u cos you’re so mysterious, shy and I think I have a thing on guys that doesn’t like me back the way I want them too lol.. Well you told me I’m special, I sent a pic that has “you look like my next boyfriend” written on it which is so damn lame why the hell did I sent that.. Anyways, my cheeks became red or I think they did, when u said that I look like your next girlfriend. Like are u kidding me? The feeling is so fucking mutual!! OR maybe? I ditched u 2 times, so I agreed to meet u on a saturday afternoon, somewhere in Manda to make it up to you.. So I got there, we talked, and u were staring at me like a freakin’ psychopath all of the time and I feel that I’m starting to melt or something. It was late, we waited for your friend to get ready cause he’ll be coming with us to your friend’s birthday celebration It was fun meeting all of your friends. Well here goes the sad part, we were okay as days pasts by.. Last friday jan 17, we planned that I’d go to your house before going to Csr with my friends. We talked, we kissed A LOT, I even fell asleep in your arms a few times cause we ran out of things to say and it was so peaceful and everything’s perfect, Everything’s perfect when I’m with you. That afternoon I had to say goodbye, u said you’ll try to catch up with me and my friends but you didn’t.. My friends and I were already at Csr (It’s a school exclusive for girls). One of my friends told me not to be shocked cause she thought that she saw you, well she’s right you were there, I didn’t know what to do. I asked my friend to accompany to the comfort room cause I’m so nervous I don’t know what to do, how to look cool or how to even act. You were so near, yet you didn’t even said Hi or wait for me to look at you then smile or something. My friends were so pissed until one of my them called you, we didn’t even talk there was awkwardness all over the place.. Then we were outside, waiting for the show to end, you and your friends started coming out, you stopped and said that you’ll catch up with me and my friends. We were at Bollywood but still no you, not even a single text, tweet nor wechat from you. The next day, we went to Plant to meet my friend’s girl, you were there, again no one was brave enough to even say hi. I asked my friends for advice some said you’re just fooling around some said your just one of those guys who’s unpredictable, oh I hope so.. So NOW I’m here asking myself what to do, what to feel, what to expect what not to expect from you.. What to feel, I’m so confused.. I really want you so badly, I’m wishing you want me so badly too. I hope I won’t disappoint myself again.. I wish everything would fall exactly how I wanted them too… I’m in to you, so in to you, I wish you feel the same way.

ps: Remember when I told you that I was afraid that when the time comes that I like you so so muuuuch already and I’m so attached to you, you might go away and leave me hanging? You said “That will not happen”. I’m holding on to that..