#conera

When Patricia asks her what she thinks their chances are, she has to be honest--they don’t have one. Jaz is gone. And logistically, it’s not worth risking the rest of the team for a zero percent chance. But being the one to say that makes Hannah feel like almost as much of a monster as Jariff.

Watching the team fight tooth and nail, claw their way from zero percent to something at least in the double digits, is something. Hannah’s been awed by Dalton’s team before. But this is something else entirely.

By the time the team crosses safely into Turkey, it's been almost three days since Hannah’s left the building.

She makes it to the car at least before calling Cassie, who’s left her a handful of messages.

Cassie begins worrying after the first day of no contact from Hannah. It’s not uncommon for either of them to work long hours, but the texts and voicemail she sent are left unanswered.

By the second day, Cassie is so tense she nearly snaps at Jeremy when he offers her a bagel from the cart downstairs. He raises an eyebrow, but takes it in stride, and comes back from lunch to tell her that gossip from those that intermingle with the DIA is minimal, a clear sign that the agency is working on something highly classified. It eases Cassie’s mind slightly, but the worry still gnaws at her stomach. She knows Hannah forgets to eat when work gets intense, and she wonders if she’s getting any rest.

A small ugly voice Cassie is ashamed of tells her Hannah is pulling away, but she brushes it aside almost immediately. This is not that.

It’s day three and Cassie’s left two more voicemails, each of them light and encouraging, because she knows the last thing Hannah needs is to feel guilty. She even went as far as to call Noah, which might have been crossing a bit of a line, but worry has her acting irrationally. The fact that he hasn’t replied tells her whatever is going down at the DIA is most likely not good.

Cassie is worrying her lip reading over her report when her cell phone rings. She’s so on edge she practically dives across her desk to reach it, startling Jeremy, who knocks his mug of herbal tea over onto his desk and lap.

“Jesus Christ Cassie, can you tone it down a notch?” he says as he rights his cup, but his expression is one of concern as he watches her.  

Cassie takes a breath to wash all evidence of tension from her voice, and answers.

“Hey baby.”

As soon as Hannah hears Cassie’s voice, she breaks. The stress, the horror, the helplessness, the memories all come cascading down on her at once and suddenly, Hannah can't stop sobbing. She can't speak or move or offer Cassie any sort of explanation. It's been a long, long time since she's cried, let alone with an audience, but Cassie is safe. Cassie is her safe. And she's never been more sure of that than she is right now.

Cassie’s heart lodges in her throat, and she’s halfway to the elevator, murmuring soothing words to Hannah before she stops, realizing she forgot her keys. Cursing,  she spins around, nearly bowling over Jeremy who holds her keys and purse.

He lets out a grunt as she launches into his arms, giving him a grateful hug before she rushes into the elevator. She keeps her voice steady for Hannah’s sake, but her heart breaks with each sob.

“Hannah, love, I’m coming to get you okay, can you tell me where you are?”

Hannah manages something that is at least partially distinguishable as ‘work’, focusing on Cassie's voice, on the idea that she's safe and loved and that, no matter how painful the memories are, they're in the past and can't hurt her. Cassie is coming to get her and everything’s going to be okay. She’ll fall asleep wrapped in Cassie's arms, listening to her heartbeat, and that's all that matters.

Slowly, the tears stop and she manages to catch her breath, but if she was exhausted before, she's totally drained now and she can barely move, let alone drive. So she listens to Cassie instead, sniffling and wiping occasionally at her tear-stained cheeks until Cassie’s car pulls up beside hers. Hannah's never been so grateful for anything in her life.

Cassie’s heart kicks up slightly as she spots Hannah in her car, but by the time she gets out and opens Hannah’s door she’s calm and her voice is low.

“Hey baby, let’s go home okay.” Cassie murmurs, wiping at the tears on Hannah’s cheeks and kissing her softly on the forehead.

She reaches into the car and slides her arms around Hannah to just hold her for a moment.

“I’ve got you.”

Hannah slumps into Cassie, clinging to her, though it takes a good deal of effort to make her limbs work.

“You're here,” she whispers, almost delirious. “I'm sorry I didn't call sooner…”

“Shh…” Cassie soothes, swallowing hard at how easily Hannah leans into her, and strokes soothingly down her back. “It doesn’t matter.”

She leans over to take Hannah’s keys out of the ignition and leads Hannah to her own car, where she settles her before jogging back to grab Hannah’s purse. Cassie holds Hannah’s hand as she pulls out of the parking lot, stroking her thumb lightly over her fingers. Her phone rings and she almost dismisses it, but it’s her boss and she winces as she answers, pulling over.

“Miss Conner, Jeremy informed me you had a personal emergency. I wanted to check in.”

Cassie glances at Hannah.

“Yes, sir. I will need to take the rest of the day.”

There’s a slight pause on the other line.

“Very well, next time I would appreciate some notice, but take the time you need. I can extend the deadline on your reports.”

“No need sir, I already finished them.” Using work to distract herself meant Cassie was at least two weeks ahead of her deadlines.

“Thank you for your commitment Miss Conner. Best wishes to you.”

Cassie thanks him and pulls onto the road again.

They make it to her apartment in decent time, and she takes Hannah directly to her bedroom where she guides her to the bed. She looks beyond exhausted.

“Don't leave,” Hannah mumbles, reaching out for Cassie despite already being half-asleep. She's so far gone, she already knows she won't remember this later. Typically, that would make her nervous, but she trusts Cassie. The knowledge settles her and Hannah falls asleep, safely tucked into Cassie’s bed, knowing things will feel a little less overwhelming when she wakes up. This time, she doesn't have to do it alone.

 Cassie holds Hannah until she’s asleep, and then sits with her for a moment longer, cheek pressed to her hair. Her fingers stroke absently down her arm and she pulls the throw more securely over Hannah’s shoulders, kissing her gently on the cheek before sliding off the bed to grab her laptop.

She works silently beside her, keeping watch in case she wakes up.

Hannah sleeps until the winter sun is halfway below the horizon. She blinks her eyes open blearily to find Cassie beside her and some of her confusion vanishes.

“Hi,” she whispers, her voice raspy. Her mouth is dry and she's in desperate need of food and a shower, but it can wait a minute. She reaches out to trace her fingers along Cassie’s thigh.

Cassie glances at Hannah and hits send on the food order she’d placed to be delivered as soon as possible after Hannah woke. No need to make things worse by attempting to cook for her.

She covers Hannah’s hand with her own and leans down to kiss her gently.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck,” Hannah answers honestly, stretching out gingerly with a groan. “Thank you for coming. I don't know what I would've done.”

Sitting up, Hannah rubs her hands over her face, still groggy.

“Jaz was…” She pauses and shakes her head. “You know what? After a shower and some food. Was work mad you left?”

Cassie reaches back to grab the water bottle she’d kept on her end table for Hannah and hands it to her.

She pushes her laptop to the side and embraces Hannah, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

“Nah, I’m already ahead of deadline, the boss is easy enough to keep happy.” She releases Hannah and cups her cheek.

“You’re more important than work, anyway,” she says stroking away the strands of hair sticking to Hannah’s forehead.

“Are you going soft on me, Conner?” Hannah teases affectionately, leaning into Cassie’s touch with a smile. The way Cassie looks at her is different, she realizes, and Hannah has no idea when that happened. Maybe around the same time that Hannah reached the conclusion that seeking comfort for the shadows of her past didn’t make her weak--that letting someone in to this part of herself made her stronger.

Cassie laughs, because it dawns on her that’s exactly what’s happened, and she’s surprised that somehow it makes her feel steadier than she’s ever felt.

“That’s classified,” she says with grin, and she presses a kiss to Hannah’s forehead again before sliding off the bed and handing her a pair of pajamas she’s noticed Hannah favors.

“Why don’t you take a shower. I’ve got food on the way, and ice cream in my fridge,” Cassie says, and she stands in the doorway smiling gently at Hannah. “I love you.”  

Hannah feels a little like swooning. She’s suddenly entirely overwhelmed with affection for this amazing woman who has chosen to love her.

“Have I told you lately that you’re perfect?” she asks, getting to her feet, holding the pajamas to her chest. “Because you are. I love you, too, Cassie.”

She commits the sight to memory. It’s simple enough, just Cassie standing in the doorway, looking back at her, but Hannah thinks, if she somehow ended up bleeding out on the side of the road again tomorrow, this is the memory she’d hold onto: the one of Cassie loving her.

Before her emotions can get the better of her, Hannah ducks into the bathroom and focuses on making herself marginally more human. If not for her stomach demanding food (so much so that her hands are shaking when she reaches for the shampoo), Hannah might’ve lingered under the hot spray. But she wants to eat and she wants to be near Cassie, and both of those things mean her shower is fast.

When she finds Cassie in the living room, the food has arrived and Hannah stuffs three garlic knots in her mouth before saying a word.

Cassie loads more food into Hannah’s plate and scoots her chair closer so her thigh presses against Hannah’s. The physical closeness centers her, and she sits silently beside her, tracing absent circles against Hannah’s hip with her thumb.

The silence is comforting, and Cassie expects after three days without so much as a break, Hannah must be mentally exhausted.

Eating helps and Hannah’s mind feels a little clearer. She tips her head against Cassie’s shoulder, lightly kissing her neck between bites.

“Do you want me to talk about it?” she asks finally, not because it’s been gnawing at her, but because now she feels like she can. “Because I know...I mean, we don’t have to. I have a therapist. I pay her for something.”

“No, baby. I want to listen, but I didn’t want to push you,” Cassie explains, realizing her patience hadn’t exactly granted Hannah the space to speak.

“What happened? I was so worried for you.”

Hannah draws a breath and sips her water, searching for the right words before realizing there is no such thing.

“Jaz was captured. In Iran. She was taken by Special Forces after killing a terrorist. I didn't think she was coming back. None of us did.” Automatically, Hannah strokes the scars on her neck, remembering how they’d burned. “They tortured her and all I could think about was Sonora and how close I came to not coming home.”

Cassie watches as Hannah touches the marred skin and hugs her a little closer. She aches for Hannah, because she’s all too familiar with past horrors springing up unexpectedly.

“God baby that’s terrible. I’m so sorry you had to face that,” Cassie murmurs. “How are you feeling now?”

“There was nothing I could do...then or now. And I hate that. Most days, I feel...superhuman. Like what we’re doing makes us unstoppable, you know?” Hannah asks. “Today worked out, but sometimes it doesn’t and...that’s just a lot scarier than it used to be.”

Now you have something to lose, the voice in her head provides helpfully, and all the reasons why Thea walked away suddenly make so much more sense.

Cassie understands that, and the oily sense of panic that comes with it. “I know,” she murmurs, stroking Hannah’s back.

“We controlled our entire world, or thought we did,” she says, “knowing that you can’t is hard to accept.” Although she speaks it to Hannah, Cassie realizes maybe it’s something she needed to hear as well.

“You’re incredible,” Cassie says, brushing a kiss over Hannah’s cheek, “because you know, and you get up and do it anyway.”

Hannah relaxes at that. The ache in her chest is an old one, a memory more than anything else, and it’ll fade.

“I couldn't imagine doing anything else,” she admits. “We aren't really made for civilian life, you know? But I like this version, the one where I get to come home to you.”

Cassie thinks of the application sitting in her file at work, and a deadline that is two days away. She thinks of how she misses Hannah if work keeps them apart for more than a few days, and how fieldwork would keep her away for weeks, if not months.

“Coming home to you is the best part of my day,” Cassie murmurs as she runs her fingers absently through Hannah’s drying hair.

“I am pretty amazing,” Hannah teases, picking up another piece of pizza and taking a bite without moving. “How’re you doing? Work going okay?” It’s only been a few days but it feels like so much longer.

“Glad you know it,” she replies with quick grin.

“Work is work,” Cassie shrugs. “It’s easy enough to get through the day. Our field unit goes dark for weeks at a time, so it’s a lot of paperwork, but I get through it quickly enough.” She pauses with a frown.

“I feel like I’m just… waiting. I don’t know what for,” she admits.

“You talk to the shrink again?” Hannah wonders. “Adjusting to desk life is tough. It takes a little while to get used to.”

She wonders, suddenly, if maybe Cassie doesn’t want to get used to it, if she’s just biding her time. And Hannah remembers every conversation she’s had with her own therapist about the importance of communication and not just assuming people are on the same page, but this feels a lot different than talking about whether or not they were going to sleep together.

“Hmm, no, I rescheduled.” Cassie says. “We had an unexpected contact from the field team and the whole office was scrambling.” It’s a bit of an excuse, and guilt niggles at her.

“I’ll get used to it,” Cassie says with a smile, trying to shake off the strange mood that grips her.

Hannah wants to call Cassie out, but there’s a fear there, now. If she pushes and Cassie snaps and tells her she’s still planning on going back to the field, that this is all just temporary, Hannah’s pretty sure it’ll break her. Especially tonight.

“Yeah,” she says instead, sitting up under the guise of reaching for her drink. “You will.”

The room feels cold now, and Hannah shivers without Cassie’s warmth.

Cassie senses the shift immediately.  Anger at herself flares and mingles with the fear that she’s messing things up, and that curls in with the guilt, because she’s supposed to be here for Hannah, and instead she’s dredging up some unwanted thing.

She pushes her mostly untouched food away, and almost leans over to give Hannah a peck, but guilt has her pausing and drawing away.

“I’m gonna jump in the shower,” she says.  

“Okay,” Hannah replies, her mind already shifting into work mode, into pushing away her emotions to be dealt with later and erecting a wall of numbness instead. She gets up before Cassie does and starts to gather the food to clean up. Part of her wants to go home, but there’s a larger part of her that reminds her of her own promise not to let Cassie push her away. “Hey.” She pauses in the kitchen doorway, glancing at Cassie over her shoulder. “I love you.” The words take work, now, but she thinks that’s kind of the point. There’s fear gnawing at her, but pushing Cassie away won’t magically make that better.

“I love you too,” Cassie replies, and she has to turn quickly because tears form in her eyes, and she doesn’t know why her damn mind is such a mess. There’s a strange sense of relief that comes with Hannah’s words, and Cassie realizes with a sinking feeling that without meaning to, a part of her has been waiting for things to fall apart, like being happy just isn’t in the cards for her.

Cassie fights the urge panic, to throw her guard up, because as much as she wants to run from this thing that scares her, she wants to hold on more.

The water is almost too hot, but Cassie stands under the spray anyway, letting the slight pain pull away some of the emotional turmoil.

Hannah straightens up, and it helps to clear her mind a bit. She manages to reel herself back in, to remind herself that there are more pieces at play here than she’s considering. Besides, they haven’t even talked about anything. They’ll cross that bridge when they get to it. In the meantime, Cassie had just come to rescue her and then spent the last day taking care of her, and that’s real and true and tangible. It’s enough.

Making a plate up for Cassie, because she hadn’t eaten more than a few bites, Hannah takes it to the bedroom and settles in to wait for Cassie to emerge from the shower. It’s her turn to do a little damage control for once.

Cassie’s head is somewhat clearer when she steps out of the shower, and she stands in the steamy room for a second  to collect herself. She owes Hannah honesty, and as much of her trust as she’s capable of giving. The thought unsettles her, because she’s afraid, but she wants to have faith in Hannah, in them.

Cassie is determined to fix this latest snag, and she strides purposely out of the bathroom, only to falter when she sees Hannah on her bed. Her plan to take charge vanishes as she stares at Hannah, and she’s filled with both a fierce love, and the fear that she’s going to do something wrong, ruin this somehow.

“Come here, beautiful,” Hannah murmurs, watching Cassie’s entire posture shift. “You’ve done such a good job taking care of me. You’re incredible and I love you so much. We...have some work to do, still. And that’s honestly kind of terrifying. But it’s a lot easier if we do it together, hm?”

Cassie closes her eyes on a sigh and walks into Hannah’s arms, pressing her face into Hannah’s shoulder as she wraps her arms tightly around her. Having someone fight for her is new, and it completely undoes her.

“I’m sorry. You just went through something so rough, and I made it worse.”

“Hey, no. You didn’t. You’re not responsible for what’s going on in my head, okay?” Hannah murmurs, holding Cassie close and stroking her hair. “The only way we know what’s going on for sure is to talk about it. So we will. But not tonight, hm? Too important to do that when we’re both a little rattled. But I love you, Cassie, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Cassie weaves those words into her memory.

“I don’t deserve you,” Cassie says, and lifts her head from Hannah’s shoulder to look at her. “I know I can be a damn mess sometimes, but I trust you, more than anyone. You’re the only person who’s stayed and-” she pauses, because that particular wound is too much for tonight, “You matter so much, I just want you to know, for when I get stupid.”

Hannah lets go of Cassie so she can cradle her face instead, holding her steady to stop her from looking away.

“You deserve to be happy. Period. You deserve someone who stays, someone who fights for you. The mess...happens. That’s life. We both know I’m kind of an expert at messes. So we’ll both fuck up. But we won’t run away. Deal?”

“Deal,” Cassie murmurs, and her smile softens as doubt fades away. She leans in to kiss Hannah, slow and soft, before drawing back.

“You need to eat,” Hannah coaxes, dropping her hands to squeeze lightly at Cassie’s wrists. “And then all I want is to curl up right here with you and kiss you for a while. Okay?”

“Mmmm, dream girl,” Cassie says, and she nudges Hannah further onto the bed so she can lean back on the headboard and nibble on the food Hannah brought her. It makes her feel both vulnerable, and safe, to be cared for, and she leans her head on Hannah’s shoulder.

Cassie takes a while to filter through the worry in her head before she speaks.

“When you spoke to the shrink, did you tell him everything? The dreams, stuff that could make it seem like you might not be fit for the job?”

Hannah nuzzles Cassie’s hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, enjoying the closeness again.

“Everything is a lot,” she says. “It took a long time for me to build a good relationship with my therapist. The department shrink? I...was honest with him. If there were things I didn’t want to talk about, I told him that. Sometimes he pushed, sometimes he let it go. But it’s like I told you: he’s not looking for you to be okay. None of us are really okay, you know? I don’t think you can kill people, or watch them die, and be okay. I don’t think you can willingly put yourself in harm’s way and go home without scars. He’s just...looking to make sure you know that, that you’re honest about not being okay.”

Cassie lets that settle in as she curls against Hannah, wrapping her arms loosely around her.

“I convinced myself for so long that I was immune to all of that,” Cassie says. “I’d rather look down the barrel of a gun than admit I’m not okay,” she adds with a laugh.

“I think that might be scarier than buying a couch”.

“It’s way scarier,” Hannah agrees, resting her forehead against Cassie’s as her thumb sweeps over her hip. “But you’re brave and strong and it gets easier with practice, I promise. Just remember, he’s not trying to trick you. This isn’t some test.”

Cassie lets out a breath and shakes her head. “Sometimes I think you may actually be able to read my mind,” she says, leaning up to kiss Hannah’s jaw.

Hannah’s eyes flutter shut and she sighs softly, slipping her fingers tenderly into Cassie’s hair. “Mmm, no mind reading. I’m just a trained spy, remember? And, you know, I’ve been there.”

Cassie shifts to crawl into Hannah’s lap, stroking her fingers softly down the side of Hannah’s neck before kissing her again.

“You have,” she says, sitting back to look at her.

Hannah’s breath goes a little unsteady at Cassie’s touch, but it's from warmth and not from fear.

“So I see you, baby,” she whispers, holding Cassie’s gaze, smoothing her hands over the other girl’s hips, just to touch her.

Cassie smiles tenderly at Hannah and slides off her lap to pillow her head on her shoulder. Partly to hide the moisture in her eyes, and partly to be closer to Hannah. To be known, and to be loved anyway is something new for her.

“And don’t worry,” Hannah murmurs, shifting to wrap her arms around Cassie. “I won’t tell anyone the most badass agent the Agency has is actually a giant softie.” She trails kisses along Cassie’s cheek, slow and gentle. “Kinda like keeping this particular secret to myself.”

Cassie laughs and tilts her head up to kiss Hannah.

“You better keep my secrets Rivera,” she murmurs. Her hands come up to cradle Hannah’s face, and she leans into her, embracing the softness of Hannah against her.

“Every single one of them,” Hannah vows, leaning into Cassie’s touch, kissing her again, sweet and lingering as her fingers fan over Cassie’s jaw and then trail almost reverently down her neck.

Cassie’s eyes flutter closed as Hannah’s touch sends pleasure shivering over her skin.

“Come here,” she murmurs, tugging Hannah down so they’re cuddled under the covers, her legs intertwining with Hannah’s as she presses a gentle kiss to her temple.

“I’m so glad I have you.”

“Says the woman who just rescued me from the parking garage in the middle of a breakdown,” Hannah laughs softly, her fingers curling under the hem of Cassie's shirt, automatically seeking her warmth. “God, I love touching you.”

Cassie wiggles closer to Hannah so she can nibble at her neck.

“I have to agree,” she says, sliding her hands under Hannah’s shirt to smooth over her belly and span over her waist. “Your skin is like silk,” she buries her face in Hannah’s neck “and you always manage to smell fucking amazing.”

“Well, right now I smell like you, so I'll agree with that,” Hannah murmurs distractedly, shivering under the warmth of Cassie’s hands. Her own slip higher, fingertips tracing up Cassie’s spine as her head tips in encouragement.

Cassie hums against Hannah’s skin as she feels the other woman shiver against her. She loves the way Hannah responds to her touch, shivers and sighs at the lightest touch, and she smooths her hands firmly against her skin, tracing the tip of her tongue along her neck. Knowing she can make Hannah respond like that fuels her own need.   

“Cassie,” Hannah breathes, arching a little, heat skittering under her skin to settle low in her stomach. It's such a simple thing, but knowing now what Cassie feels like, how she sounds, makes everything feel like so much <i>more</i>. Her hands glide higher, nails dragging carefully over the contours of Cassie’s shoulders, mapping the now-familiar territory. “Baby, I love your mouth.”

Cassie feathers her fingers over Hannah’s neck as she licks and nibbles at the skin there. The press of Hannah’s body against her heats her own skin, and she pulls Hannah’s hips closer to slot against her own.

A soft, needy sound escapes Hannah’s throat and she can't resist the impulse to shift against Cassie. Her hands dip, following the slope of Cassie’s back to tease at the base of her spine, slipping just barely under the waistband of her sweats.

“I love how you sound, just like this,” Cassie murmurs, as her hand slips under Hannah’s shirt to smooth her thumb along Hannah’s ribs just under her breast. She presses open mouthed kisses to the spot on Hannah’s neck that she knows always elicits a response.

Hannah feels herself flush even as she arches into Cassie, another less quiet moan spilling past her lips. One hand abandons Cassie's waist to cradle her head instead, fingers twining through Cassie’s hair.

“God.” She moves again, angling against Cassie’s hip, need pooling fast and low.

Cassie’s hands are slightly rougher as Hannah’s moans send heat crackling over her skin. She palms her breast, pressing a thumb over the peaked nipple as she bites lightly at Hannah’s pulse point, catching the skin gently between her teeth, careful not to leave a mark.  

“Baby,” she breathes, yanking Hannah’s thigh up over her hip and arching into the heat there.

It's not until Hannah slides her hand over Cassie’s ass to tug her hungrily closer that she realizes she's already shaking. She tugs just a little at Cassie’s hair, shifting restlessly, the friction and Cassie’s teasing drawing an almost constant stream of breathless, desperate sounds from her lips.

“Please,” she gasps, not even sure what it is she's begging for. She just wants more--of this, of Cassie.

Cassie groans as Hannah moves desperately against her, the heat and want steals her breath, and she flips them over, desperate with need. Her knee slides between Hannah’s legs and she grinds against her as her mouth drops to her neck and her hands move to pin Hannah’s wrists to the mattress.

“Fuck, baby,” she moans, bending down to lick over her collarbone.

The sudden shift is exactly what Hannah needs, even as she struggles against Cassie’s hold, testing. She arches against the welcome pressure of Cassie against her, and the shuddering burst of pleasure it sends through her is instant. Her head drops back as her eyes close, and Hannah can barely find enough air to make a sound. Cassie hasn't even touched her and she's already on edge. Were it anyone but Cassie, Hannah might've been a little embarrassed, but right now, she doesn't particularly care.

“No,” Cassie says simply, giving Hannah’s wrists a squeeze before her teeth scrape lightly over the thin skin across Hannah’s collarbone. She moves to her neck again, nibbling at the spot under Hannah’s ear.

“I want to undo you, just like this,” she whispers against her skin, and her breath hitches as she moves against Hannah, desperate for more of her.

“Jesus, Cassie,” Hannah moans. She rocks more insistently against the other woman's thigh, the sound of Cassie's breathing, the feel of her, dragging her to the edge, holding her there for what feels like an agonizing eternity. “God, baby, tell me please…” She doesn't make a habit of begging for permission, but there's something about Cassie in control like this.

Cassie feels the telltale tingles across her skin as Hannah moves against her, desperate and begging. Cassie’s breathless in her own pleasure, but she brushes her lips against Hannah’s neck and leans in to whisper in her ear.

“I want you to come for me baby.”

The pleasure coiled in Hannah’s stomach snaps and she breaks, bowing under the weight of Cassie, breathing her name. Heat courses through her in waves, leaving her boneless and shivering as she struggles to catch her breath. “Fuck, baby…”

Cassie throws her head back and moves against Hannah, her own release not far behind. The pressure builds and releases in a wave of hot pleasure that has her shuddering and moaning before she collapses weakly beside Hannah.

“Jesus.” she manages, pressing her lips clumsily to Hannah’s temple.

“Mmmm, now I need another shower,” Hannah says, giggling as she reaches for Cassie’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I like you bossy.”

Cassie brings their joined hands to her mouth and brushes her lips across the top of Hannah’s hands.

“Hmmm, you do huh? I can keep being bossy.” Cassie murmurs playfully, using her free hand to stroke Hannah’s hair gently back from her forehead.

“Since we both need a shower and all…” Cassie tugs Hannah up.

“Don’t get too excited. I seem to recall you liking me bossy, too,” Hannah teases, letting Cassie lead her into the bathroom. She’s already dropped her shirt on the floor before she thinks about how easy it was to do it. Cassie’s standing right there, the light is on, and now Hannah’s scars are on full display. The panic and the dread don’t come, the disgust doesn’t come, either. Instead, there’s only relief and maybe a little pride. It leaves her standing there, a little dumbfounded.

“Oh, you mean when you nearly killed me? Yeah I vaguely recall that being spectacular,” Cassie retorts with a grin. She notes Hannah’s slight pause and understands immediately. Her smile gentles as she steps back to her to take both her hands.

“You’re so damn beautiful it takes my breath away,” she murmurs.

“You’re something else, you know,” Hannah muses, tracing Cassie’s cheek tenderly. “How you make me feel is...God, I don’t even know. Amazing? Miraculous?” She’s still not sure what to do with all of it, how to make space for this part of herself, but she’s trying.

Cassie flushes with pleasure and leans into Hannah’s touch. “I love you baby. I know people aren’t supposed to save people, but I think you saved me just a little bit,” she confesses before stepping back to turn the knob on the shower.

“I think there’s been some mutual saving going on.” Hannah watches Cassie a minute before shimmying out of her pants, too, and then the reality of Cassie naked and wet against her in the shower catches up to her and Hannah has to remind herself to breathe. She shivers in the cold air and reaches for Cassie’s shirt again. “Someone’s wearing way too many clothes…”

Enjoying her, Cassie blinks innocently and raises her hands above her head.

“Oh no, if only there was something we could do about that,” she says, grinning, as her eyes rove hungrily over Hannah.

“Obedient, yet sassy,” Hannah observes with a playfully arched brow. “See, now I don’t know which one I like better...Good thing I don’t have to choose.” She tugs Cassie’s shirt over her head and wastes no time in drawing Cassie close, savoring the soft heat of skin on skin. “That’s better…”

Cassie chuckles and slips out of her sweatpants, making sure to wiggle suggestively against Hannah in the process.

“You’re right, much better.” She kisses Hannah, fierce and needy, before drawing back.

“You're a tease, Conner,” Hannah purrs, nudging Cassie toward the now-steaming shower. “That's not a complaint, to clarify.”

Cassie pulls Hannah along with her as she steps into the spray. The water slicks over both of them, and Cassie skims her hands over Hannah’s hips.

“Hmmm, I like you wet and slippery,” Cassie says, and then leans in, her voice low and purposefully playful. “I mean that both ways.”

For all of the teasing, Hannah's not quite ready for the feel of Cassie against her like this. Whatever saucy response she might've found a minute ago is promptly lost to the way Cassie’s skin slides against hers, frictionless and hot. An undignified whimper escapes before she can stop it and Hannah finds herself blushing just a little.

Cassie’s skin flushes with heat at the soft sound Hannah makes, and she kisses the touch of pink that appears on her cheeks. The dichotomy between the woman who could kill a person 13 different ways, and the one who blushes in front of her, causes a well of tenderness to swell in her chest.

“God baby, I just adore you so much.”

Hannah laughs softly, covering her face.

“I’m glad. I’m kind of smitten, in case you couldn’t tell,” she murmurs, sliding her arms around Cassie’s waist. “For the record, I like you wet, too.”

Cassie smiles and nips at Hannah’s bottom lip.There’s a bottle of lavender scented shower gel that she squeezes out on her hands before massaging it slowly over Hannah’s neck and shoulders.

“Hmmm, tell me more gorgeous,” she teases.

Melting under Cassie’s hands, Hannah hums.

“I just love knowing I can do that to you. I love how you feel under my fingers, how incredible you taste.” She smooths her hands up Cassie’s sides and then over her breasts, savoring the soft slickness. “And God, how you sound.”

Cassie’s eyes glaze over as Hannah’s hands smooth over her skin, and she has to shake her head slightly to clear it as it goes hazy with desire.

“Hannah,” Cassie breathes, pressing a soft kiss to her lips as her hands roam over Hannah’s water slick skin.

“Just like that,” Hannah purrs, shivering even as she teases over Cassie’s nipples. “Just hearing you say my name makes me ache for you. Not just anyone can make me come without touching me.”

Cassie’s breath thickens as she leans in to kiss Hannah again.

“I love touching you, knowing I can,” she murmurs, her legs going weak at the slight teasing.

“You can do whatever you want to me,” Hannah says, realizing how true that is. The trust and love she feels for Cassie isn’t anything she ever expected to feel. Her tongue teases over Cassie’s lips, dipping between them and then retreating again as her fingers continue their exploration.

Cassie recognizes the trust, and it touches her heart as she kisses Hannah. She lingers on Hannah’s lips, savoring the taste of her, and the soft sounds she makes. Hannah’s light touch has her craving more of her, and she steps behind her, taking a second to press her cheek to Hannah’s shoulder before moving both hands up to cup her breasts. Cassie leans into Hannah, cradling her close as she massages her breasts gently, teasing the stiffened peaks with her fingers.

Hannah shudders, a soft breathy moan slipping past her lips. Somehow, having Cassie at her back, though it means she’s not looking at the scars, feels incredibly intimate, and Hannah’s heart races. Needing more of an anchor, she reaches back for Cassie, her palms slicking easily over the outsides of her thighs, aided by the water pouring over them. The angle of her shoulders has her chest pressing further into Cassie’s teasing fingers, and she can feel herself growing instantly wetter.

Cassie continues the gentle teasing, dropping her head to kiss Hannah’s shoulder. She can feel Hannah’s breath coming faster, and she increases the pressure slightly, using her thumbs firmly over Hannah’s nipples.

“Baby,” Hannah breathes, tipping her head back against Cassie’s shoulder. “You’re killing me.” She rakes her nails carefully up Cassie’s thighs and over her hips, pressing her ass back, addicted to the way Cassie feels against her. “But you know that, don’t you? You know exactly what you do to me.”

One of Cassie’s hands drops to Hannah’s hip, and grips tightly there in an attempt to steady herself as Hannah’s touch sends heat shivering along her skin.

“I can’t stop touching you,” Cassie murmurs, relishing in the feel of Hannah soft and pliant against her. She squeezes lightly at Hannah’s nipple while her other hand strokes softly on her belly, her fingers dipping and teasing lower, inches from where she knows Hannah wants her.

“God.” Hannah grips Cassie’s wrist to steady herself, tipping her head to nuzzle Cassie’s cheek. “Please, baby...I need you.” She’s already breathless and dizzy just from this. Everything about Cassie touching her is still novel and Hannah’s already sensitive enough.

Cassie moves her hand lower, tracing her fingers lightly over Hannah for a moment before moving away again. She grips her hips lightly, nudging her foot along Hannah’s instep, urging her to spread her legs as she works her hands over her breasts.

“What do you need?”

Hannah whines a little pathetically, fighting the urge to grab Cassie's hand and tug it between her thighs.

“Touch me,” she pleads. “I need your fingers, need you inside me.”

Her earlier orgasm had done nothing but stoke the heat pooling low in her belly.

“You should feel how wet you're making me.”

Hannah’s words fuel the heat inside her, and Cassie slides her hand down between Hannah’s legs, stroking her fingers lightly over her.

“God baby,” Cassie murmurs as she slips her fingers inside Hannah, pressing the heel of her hand against her as she moves inside her in a torturously slow rhythm.

The welcome pressure draws a gasp and a shudder, until Hannah registers that Cassie has no real intention of giving her what she wants just yet.

Her fingers slip around Cassie's wrist before her nails rake up her arm, a soft whine echoing in the confines of the shower.

“I love when you tease me,” she admits in a trembling whisper.

“Yeah?” Cassie asks, her breath thickening. Wetness seeps between her legs at the thought of Hannah desperate under her touch. She stills her hand, withdrawing her fingers slowly, brushing around the sensitive nub as she turns Hannah to face her. Cassie stares at Hannah’s flushed face, eyes dark with desire, and kisses her again, pressing her up against the cool shower wall.

The tile against her heated skin has Hannah hissing and arching and slipping her tongue past Cassie’s lips. Her palms skim over Cassie’s curves, over her hips and her stomach and her breasts, which only spurs her need.

“Fuck, baby.” Her hips roll into Cassie, seeking more friction and pressure. She knows from how Cassie sounds, how she's breathing, exactly what this is doing to her too, and her mouth waters at the thought of tasting her, at making her come on her tongue.

Cassie trails her fingers feather light over Hannah’s water slick skin as she arches against her. Hannah’s tongue drives her wild, and for a moment Cassie forgets the intention to tease and draw out Hannah’s pleasure until she’s shivering under her touch. Her fingers dig into Hannah’s ass as she bows up, reveling in the feel of Hannah’s softness against her.  

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Cassie murmurs a little breathlessly, gentling her fingers and skimming them up Hannah’s sides as her mouth comes to the spot under her jaw.  

Hannah moans, tipping her head back, palming Cassie’s breast almost distractedly, teasing at the nipple with her thumb. Her knee slots between Cassie’s thighs, pressing up against her.

“Fuck,” she breathes. “You’re soaked.”

A gasp catches in her throat as she rocks against Hannah’s thigh, pleasure jolting into her system. She’s blind with desire for a moment, moving mindlessly, her lips skimming clumsily along Hannah’s neck as she arches her breast into Hannah’s hand.

“That’s all you baby,” Cassie says, a shaky moan slipping from her lips.

With unsteady fingers, Hannah slips between her thigh and Cassie, stroking against her a couple times before withdrawing, bringing her hand to her mouth to suck the wetness from her skin with a low groan.

“God, I love tasting you,” she says, ghosting her lips over Cassie’s as she speaks.

Cassie let’s out a pathetic sound at the loss of Hannah’s touch, and she grabs a fistful of Hannah’s hair before crushing her mouth to hers. The taste of her lingers on Hannah’s tongue.

“I can’t stop wanting you,” Cassie murmurs, biting lightly at Hannah’s bottom lip before easing her back and bringing her fingers between Hannah’s thighs, using slow firm strokes, as her mouth drops to her breast.

“Good,” Hannah chokes out, shifting against Cassie’s fingers, arching further into the wet heat of her mouth.

The coil of need in her stomach winds tighter until she's shaking between Cassie’s body and the wall. Her hands grip blindly at Cassie’s shoulders and some small, coherent part of her brain is aware she's leaving marks behind, but in her want, she can't bring herself to care.

“So close…”

Cassie eases her hand away, and lifts her mouth from Hannah’s breast as a coy smile curves her lips.

“You like being teased,” Cassie murmurs, skimming her lips along Hannah’s temple as she presses her hands to Hannah’s hips, pinning her firmly against the wall. Her own need makes her a little impatient, a little rough, but she bites back on it, as she kisses her way softly down Hannah’s body, grinning against her skin at each tremor.

“Jesus, Cassie,” Hannah moans, whining as she fights against Cassie’s hold on her, knowing it's fruitless. “Baby, please…”

She cards her fingers through Cassie’s water-slicked hair.

“I’ll give you anything you want,” Cassie says, as she keeps one hand anchoring Hannah’s hip to the wall and uses the other to slide her fingers inside of her. Her mouth lowers over Hannah and she laps softly at her.

“Just maybe not right away,” she whispers, slipping her fingers out of her, and kissing her softly right at her center.

“Fuck.” Hannah tips her head back against the wall and carefully shifts her weight to drape her leg over Cassie’s shoulder, opening herself further to the torture of Cassie’s mouth and her fingers. “I meant what I said, you can do what you want.”

She looks down, meeting Cassie’s darkened eyes, the sight stealing her breath.

Cassie shifts closer, easing Hannah open as she does, using her tongue to trace gently over her.

“I love the taste of you,” Cassie says, edging higher to take on some of Hannah’s weight as a hand comes to her thigh, anchoring her.

She slides her fingers back inside her, moving them as she watches Hannah’s face.

“Your mouth is incredible,” Hannah whispers, raspy and low. “I think about it all the time.”

She tightens purposefully around Cassie's fingers, tilting her hips slightly to take her deeper. The slight change in angle makes her shudder almost violently and Hannah exhales sharply as her fingers tug gently at Cassie’s hair.

“Take what you need from me baby,” Cassie breathes, kissing along the skin of her belly before covering Hannah with her mouth again, increasing the thrust of her fingers. Her hand releases Hannah’s hip to press lightly on her belly, stroking the skin there.

“Oh my God,” Hannah breathes, slowly rolling her hips, countering the steady, deep press of Cassie against her, inside her.

For the slow build of her pleasure, Hannah breaks remarkably fast, crying out, Cassie's name mingling with half curses and wordless whimpers until everything ebbs, leaving her shivering and panting, boneless and sated.

Cassie slips Hannah’s leg from her shoulder and stands, holding her lightly against her as she strokes along her hair and down her back.

“You’re so damn perfect,” she murmurs, her lips skimming over Hannah’s.

It takes a minute for Hannah to find her words. Everything’s still a little hazy and all she can do is kiss Cassie back and let her hands roam.

“Perfect’s a stretch,” she whispers finally. “You’re just really, really good at that.” When she tries to straighten up a bit, Hannah finds her knees are still a little wobbly, so she settles again. “Maybe too good. Not that your ego needs much stroking.”

Cassie grins, not bothering to hide the edge of cockiness as she holds Hannah a little more solidly against her.

“I have been known to make a few ladies weak at the knees,” she says playfully, but her gaze goes soft when she looks at Hannah.

“I think you might be the only woman who makes me go weak at the knees,” she confesses.

“Better be,” Hannah murmurs affectionately, cradling Cassie’s cheek. “Kinda hoping you’re all mine.”

It’s been years since she’s worried about losing someone. A small flash of fear threatens to lodge itself in her chest but she pushes it away. It’s in her head. Cassie is here and looking at her like that and it’s enough.

Cassie leans into her touch, keeping her gaze steady on Hannah.

“No one else could even come close, you’re my whole heart,” she says. She tugs Hannah away from the wall, warming her under the spray as she kisses her again.  

The dread recedes entirely at that and Hannah relaxes again, coaxing Cassie’s lips apart with the tip of her tongue, barely teasing between them as her hands slide down Cassie’s back.

“I love you,” she whispers against her mouth. “So damn much.”

“I love you too,” Cassie murmurs, closing her eyes at Hannah’s touch as she deepens the kiss.

Hannah lets Cassie push a little but not much, intentionally keeping things light and teasing. She keeps one arm anchored around Cassie’s waist and brings the other up to trace the curve of her breast, circling the nipple with her fingertips.

Barely calmed desire rushes back with such force Cassie arches a little desperately into Hannah.

“God baby I need you to touch me,” she groans, her fingers digging into Hannah’s hips as she nips hungrily at her lip.

“Come to bed,” Hannah purrs, because the water’s cooling and she wants to take her time breaking Cassie apart until she can’t anymore. She reaches past Cassie to turn off the water and wraps a towel around her before finding one for herself. She can’t resist kissing her again, just one more time before stepping out of the shower, offering Cassie her hand.

Cassie squeezes the water from her hair and grabs Hannah’s hand, following her into the bedroom. She drinks in the sight of Hannah’s long bare legs under the towel, and her mouth practically waters.

“I need those incredible legs of yours wrapped around me,” Cassie murmurs, tugging lightly at Hannah’s towel as she brings her closer.

“So not conducive to me making you come,” Hannah says, biting her lip and grinning as she lets the towel drop. “I mean, you can have whatever you want. I’m just pointing that out.” She nudges Cassie to sit on the edge of the bed and crawls into her lap, legs splayed around her hips. “This work for you, baby?”

Cassie’s laugh goes breathless as she grabs Hannah’s ass, tugging her closer.

“Anything you do to me works for me” she says, fisting her hand in Hannah’s hair to tug her mouth down and cover it with her own.

Hannah deepens the kiss immediately, curling her fingers around the back of Cassie’s neck while her other hand returns to Cassie’s chest. She circles her nipple again before dragging the pad of her thumb over the stiffened flesh as her tongue twines with Cassie’s.

Cassie arches up, moaning against Hannah’s mouth as pleasure shoots straight into her core. Her fingers dig briefly into the taut skin of Hannah’s thighs, and then her palms skim up them, molding over the slender muscles there.

Her skin is burning, and she’s desperate for more as she tugs Hannah against her, panting slightly.

“Something you want, Cassie?” Hannah laughs softly, breaking from Cassie’s mouth to kiss down her neck. She rolls Cassie’s nipple between her fingers, pinching lightly, deliberately rocking her hips forward, though the angle does nothing but tease them both.

Cassie jerks at the touch, her head falling back as Hannah’s mouth leaves a searing trail down her skin.

“You know damn well what I want,” Cassie says with a laugh that ends on a moan.  Her fingers squeeze at Hannah’s waist.

“God, touch me, I need you to touch me.”

Hannah grins even as she nudges Cassie back, lifting up on her knees to follow after her. With one hand braced next to her head, Hannah slides the other down between Cassie’s thighs.

“I am touching you,” she purrs, barely grazing Cassie’s skin.

Cassie bows up, a desperate sort of whine leaving her lips. She opens her legs in invitation as her hands come up to smooth along Hannah’s sides.

“Hannah you damn tease,” she groans, “god I fucking love it”.

“Can't help it,” Hannah says, watching Cassie intently, still teasing. “Kinda love you like this…” She wets her lips reflexively, dragging the tip of her middle finger along Cassie's entrance, not quite dipping inside.

Cassie hisses out a breath. Pleasure grows hot and heavy between her legs and her walls clench in anticipation. Her hands grow clumsy on Hannah’s skin as she moves to cover both her breasts, reveling in the silky softness.

“Please… Hannah,” she chokes out.

“Begging already?” Hannah grants her a small reprieve, sinking two fingers into Cassie all the way to the knuckle, stroking inside her, slow but firm. She lowers her mouth to Cassie's, sucking at her top lip, drawing it between her teeth.

The slight scrape of Hannah’s teeth against her lip intensifies the pleasure of Hannah inside her, and she bucks her hips impatiently as her hands smooth up Hannah’s neck and into her hair, still wet from the shower.

“Fuck baby.”

“Easy,” Hannah whispers between kisses, though she relishes the way Cassie moves under her. “I'll take care of you. Promise.” Her fingers move again, withdrawing almost entirely before sinking in again. This time, her hand twists enough to press her thumb to Cassie's swollen nerves.

Cassie gasps out a moan, and even in the blindness of desire something soft curls around her heart. There’s trust here, and for the first time she lets herself go completely, her hands dropping limply to the mattress as she gives herself over to Hannah.

“I’m yours,” she murmurs.

“Good girl,” Hannah whispers, sweetly kissing Cassie’s cheek.

She's seen Cassie a lot of different ways, but not like this--pliant and trusting. Despite the need between them, Hannah recognizes there's something more here.

“I love you, sweet girl. I've got you.”

She sets a steady rhythm, lowering some of her weight onto Cassie as her hand works between them.

“You feel so good, baby,” Hannah moans.

Cassie’s head falls to the side as she cants her hips up, seeking more of Hannah. Her weight feels just right, safe, and pleasure feathers across her skin as she breathes Hannah’s name. She feels the tightening, deep inside her, as the pleasure reaches its peak.

Kissing slowly down the side of Cassie’s neck, more tongue than anything, Hannah rubs slow circles over her clit, twisting her fingers deep, stroking just how she knows Cassie likes.

“That's it,” she murmurs against Cassie’s throat.

The combination of sensations undoes her as a wave of hot pleasure rolls over her, and makes her cry out, Hannah’s name a breathless sound on her lips. Her walls tighten like a vise around Hannah’s fingers as she bows up, shaking with release.

“God, Hannah.” Cassie melts back into the mattress on a sigh.

“Mmm, I love doing that,” Hannah murmurs, still just barely moving her fingers, just to feel Cassie shiver. “Don't think I'll ever get over it.” She trails lazy kisses across Cassie’s shoulder and up her neck, wherever she can reach without moving too far.

Cassie groans, stretching languidly as Hannah’s fingers send shuddering aftershocks through her system. Her hands move up to stroke along Hannah’s skin as she presses her lips to her hair.

“I’m not complaining,” Cassie manages, blinking a little as her system settles.

“It’s only, like, 10pm,” Hannah realizes, catching sight of the alarm clock on the end table. She eases her fingers out of Cassie and traces her thighs instead, too entranced with touching her to stop completely. “It feels so much later. Work tomorrow?” She’s lost track of what day it is and her brain is too fuzzy to figure it out just now.

“I can barely remember my damn name, my work schedule is a mystery,” Cassie mutters, but she’s smiling as she draws Hannah up to her, tucking her head under Hannah’s chin. Her fingers feather over Hannah’s belly, tracing along the outside of the scar there, and she nuzzles at Hannah’s neck.