#concluding

Concluding Breath

These are so fun to paint 💙

Sometimes I believe that I do not do enough in life, that I do not give everything my all. 

That I laze around all day and never push past my limits.

I stay in my comfort zone, never once stepping out.

I give up before I've even begun.

I throw it away if it doesn’t look good.

I do not listen when people need me too, but expect people to hear me when I talk. 

I expect those around me to be there when I fall, but I'm never there to catch another. 

But it’s not true is it? 

I'm not a horrible person.

I'm not selfish.

I’m not cold-hearted. 

I'm not disrespectful and I'm not unkind.

Yes, I give up easy.

I never step outside the box.

But I will listen if someone needs me too and comfort those in need of comfort.

I will worry for people I know, and worry for those I don’t. 

I'll be a shoulder to lean on, as long as I can lean on them too.

Yes, I can be insensitive,

I can be blunt,

I can misunderstand,

I can make mistakes like the trillions before me.

I’ll take a step forward, then take two back.

I won’t always think before I speak,

I won't always understand if I've hurt you, but I'll say sorry when I do.

I’ll give you the time and space you need, 

I'll let you go if you don't want to hold on.

I’ll cry,

I’ll care, 

I’ll shout,

We’ll hurt.

At the end of the day,

I know that yes,

I can be a screw up.

I can be an idiot.

I can make stupid, rash decisions.

I’ll hurt people and people will hurt me back.

Some lessons I won’t learn.

Some stories won’t be told.

I’ll give up.

I’ll give in.

I’ll be human.

Because...

That is all I am....

Human.

Some are better than me.

Some are worse than me.

But...

I...

Am only...

I call this one “Transgression”, mainly because it’s the first word I thought of after I read it back

~~~

blue sky, sun beaming,

the perfect day you’d expect to last forever.

blue sky, sun faded,

they say it’ll never disappear, it’s strong.

leaves transgress a rouge ombré,

crunching under your weight as you run,

the mountains of fallen soldiers bursting

it’s calm, it’s tranquil, it’s happiness

It’s us

fading away, the blue turns to grey

nights get longer, days get shorter

you wake but you want to stay asleep

it’s awful, but it’ll be over soon.

a new year, a fresh start.

spring bounces round the corner,

poppies, daisies, blooming into life

exploding happiness all around us,

capturing us into its embrace.

blue sky, sun beaming

the perfect day you’d expect to last forever

grey sky, black clouds

This is something that I’ve posted about on twitter, when I was active on it, earlier in 2024. I feel like I am coming to a concluding note on Mechanical Anime Reviews soon. I plan on stopping more extensive blogging at some point in January 2026. There are still things I want to do on this blog over this year. I also have a multi part thesis statement of a post that I want to write for that…