#concerned

𝓖𝓾𝔂𝓼 𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓴 𝓪 𝓵𝓸𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓭 𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓵 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓲 𝓫𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓭

AIO a woman messaged me about my partner and I’m very concerned

What is going on here??? Should I be concerned about stalking? I haven’t ever spoken with her before nor have I responded to these messages. I am concerned for her well-being, it’s giving psychosis.

Back story: my(25f) bf (24m) met a girl on Facebook dating and talked to her on and off before we met. She lives in another country, though only about 5-6 hours away. When we got together he blocked her and she has repeatedly made new accounts to contact him on various social media platforms. She has even tried calling him from various phone numbers, once while we were together prompting him to respond to her on VSCO to let her know that he’s in a relationship and has no desire to converse with her. Cut to a year later, she made new accounts to message him from and now has broken the 4th wall and messaged me!!!

Edit to respond to common comments:

I certainly have now locked everything down as soon as I received these messages. Unfortunately she was likely online stalking us for years before she finally contacted me, so I fear she already has all of the information she would need to track us down. From location tags on ig posts to Google Maps satellite imaging. We live on a big farm that is easily identified this way if you know our general area and what kind of farm we live on. I don’t know if it’s possible to file any kind of report because she hasn’t done anything that can be interpreted as illegal, unless messaging repeatedly is actually considered harassment in my jurisdiction, which I doubt. Also the fact that she lives in another country. I genuinely don’t know what else I can actually DO other than monitor the situation and try and be vigilant of my surroundings. We have high quality home security, I just don’t want to even have to worry about this nonsense. I also haven’t blocked her, or replied, and I have my read receipts off. I feel blocking her may be interpreted as though she should try harder to reach me. Leaving it unread feels like the option that would create the least amount of friction/ incentive to escalate.

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (98% confidence)

Top comment: “NOR. Guessing her trip to the hospital was not a trip to the ER but maybe a psych ward. Set a clear boundary then block. Keep blocking new accounts after saving any future messages for evidentiary purposes. It’s easier for you to block than for her to make new accounts. Maybe she’ll find the help she needs in the meantime.”

Notable explanation: “NOR Someone wrote me an e-mail that sounded like the text OP received when we were planning a bachelorette party via calls/e-mail for a mutual friend. She didn’t live in the same city as me and we hadn’t seen very much of each other since college. She had a reputation hard-partying , so I initially thought she might have been stoned/ high when she messaged me. I was pretty freaked out, but I lived hundreds of miles away, so I figured that there was nothing she could do. She then came to visit the city I live in about three weeks later and thought she was hosting some kind of party for me at a local restaurant , and that I was her “best friend”. In actuality, there was some other corporate event going on at the restaurant, but she showed up there and created a big scene. She maxed out her credit cards on her trip and was convinced another guest staying at her hotel was stalking her. I and my local friends had to reach out to other people that knew her family and help her get a flight home and make sure she was going to get picked up at the airport etc. She eventually was hospitalized for trying to harm herself . I heard she was diagnosed as Bipolar and has been in and out of treatment but can’t confirm. She may have been in a manic state when she got fixated on me. I was lucky that her delusions were primarily grandiose, and that she didn’t threaten me or try to harm me, but it was still really scary that she actually came to “visit” me because of her mental illness. While the person texting OP’s partner lives in another country, I would at least try to reach out to local law enforcement and see what they advise. In the US, at least, if anything she sends could be interpreted as a threat and it’s on the record , it may be possible to flag her passport and stop her if she tries to enter the country.”

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