May 24
these mfs won't even admit that we have alters that aren't grown adults. genuinely ridiculous imo
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these mfs won't even admit that we have alters that aren't grown adults. genuinely ridiculous imo
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Here's the thing, right? Singlets who don't respect systems aren't going to respect you more if you do it "right". You could be the most normal system with whatever they think is the correct amount of alters, without fictives, without nonhuman alters, without any weird or cringe interests or styles or whatever else. You could do everything by their book. And they would still find something to pick at or some reason to dismiss you, because it isn't you - it's the concept of plurality.
This isn't to say it's hopeless, or that nothing matters - it's to say that there's no reason to reject these parts of yourself. There is no winning in respectability politics. Be angry, be ugly, be cringy, be unappealing and inelegant and dedicate your time to something other than educating them. Do what you want. Life's too short to play by someone else's rules.
Anyway shout out to disabled people who aren't glamorous. Who aren't well dressed. Who aren't skinny fashion icons who happen to be disabled.
You deserve to be respected every bit as much. Your activism matters. Just because you aren't palatable to a fatphobic and ableist society doesn't mean you aren't important. You shouldn't have to dress up to be taken seriously. Stay safe & take care.
Do any other systems rlly struggle with the language they use in sys admin stuff? Specifically, polyfragmented systems in terms of, for lack of a better word, inner world geography?
We have alters with alters. We have alters who can be grouped together by location. We have groups that seem to be part of the same, general area? We have parts of the inner world that seem to exist multiple times over, layered on top of one another, with different alters and different? Vibes? It's all so confusing T-T
Persecutor culture is just being in ur "I hate everyone and everything" era 24/7 tbh
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If you read someone's post, and your only takeaway is "lol. Look at this typo." or "lol. Look at this spelling error." I am coming for your fucking knees.
Neither of these things should completely discount someone's opinions or ideas, or even their jokes. There are unending reasons for someone to make a mistake in their typing, especially if they're being vulnerable in that post, and if all you have to say about it is "[typo]" then I hope you step on Lego and get stuck in traffic today.
Here's a thing, right? As an alter who's still persecutor adjacent and deals with a lot of our anger issues, I get Really angry about posts that, to cut to the chase, aren't about me.
It's not something I'm proud of, but seeing a post about how it's okay not to switch for days or weeks when our system is lucky for a switch to last an hour is infuriating. Posts about not having fictives or having a low alter count make my skin crawl. They aren't relevant to me, they don't reflect my experiences, and that's upsetting.
And I'm allowed to be upset, yknow, feelings are feelings. But they're also Allowed to not be about me. Not everything is going to be about you and your experience and it's about learning that someone else having a different experience doesn't invalidate your own. It's hard! And scary, and if you're quick to anger like I am, it's going to take a hot minute.
But acknowledging those feelings, addressing them directly and saying "hey, I know why you're scared, but we don't need to be." has been by far the best way I've found to deal with it. I feel like a lot of people could benefit from learning that not everything has to be about their experience in particular.
Been feeling much better about the system since a friend explained that hyper-specific roles are common in polyfragmented systems. Suddenly, all of the alters who we look at and go "why do you exist if you're basically the same as someone else?" make sense - they handle similar tasks, but differently. Both are necessary, and both are valuable to the system.
It also helps to remember that the system is so compartmentalised because that's what our brain likes to do! We like to organise things, and worried about how that was affecting the system, but if that is how our brain works, then that is how the system will work, too.
The frustration about the "fuzzy edges" and uncertainty within the system is inevitable, especially with such a large and complex system, but understanding why it works the way it does helps to feel better about what we do know at least.