#compassionoverhate

I grew up in the church, but I haven’t considered myself religious for a long time. The idea that we have to search for answers in something outside of ourselves no longer resonates with me, as I believe we are all divine beings and we all have access to universal consciousness, what the Church calls God. 

That said, in the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot more about Jesus, as he actually was, not as the church has made him out to be. 

I’ve been meditating for an hour in the morning almost daily. It’s a welcome escape from the world events that seem like they’re constricting around us. For a brief period of my day, I am able to experience a peace that otherwise eludes me. 

Lately during these meditations, Jesus pops up. At first, I tried to ignore it, clinging to my non-religious ideals and not wanting to “fall into that trap.” But he just kept coming up and so finally, I surrendered and turned toward it, curious where it might lead me.

When I let the energy in, I felt an overwhelming sense of compassion that overtook my entire being. Compassion for myself, which was a welcome relief from my constant self-judgement and attempts at self-betterment. But also, I saw compassion for the world and all it’s creatures in a way that I am not normally able to access in regular life. I was guided to see how every one of us are victims to our patriarchal society, even those of us who profit from it. I could see how this patriarchal culture teaches men not to be weak or feel their feelings, leading to repression that rears it’s head in all the violent, oppressive and otherwise ugly ways we’ve been seeing for centuries. I experienced a rare compassion for the oppressors of our world, knowing that they perpetuate a society because in the absence of true peace and self love/acceptance, they assume that power is the only way to feel good about themselves. When I thought of the oppressors of our current world, I was guided to see them as children - children who were, at best, victims of misinformation and misunderstanding from the adults in their own lives, and at worst, victims of trauma, abuse, neglect and extreme suppression of their own life force. 

Jesus is known for accepting and loving ALL. It’s too bad many of his modern day followers don’t live by that code, but obviously there is a lot more at play with organized religion. With Jesus, it was simple. Love all, even if they hate you, hell, even if they KILL you! Give freely to all, even if they steal from you. Treat all as equals, even if they’re different from you. 

This may seem oversimplified in our current climate, and I know it’s hard to have any compassion for certain groups. Obviously, it doesn’t take the place of action and activism, but it can guide the way we interact, the way we listen, and the way we understand. We can at least aim to see the humanity in another even if we disagree with them. We can at least ask ourselves what Jesus would do. 

My partner Scott said something to me the other day, that it seems like we are all just yelling louder and louder at each other, hoping that by raising the volume we will finally be heard, but it doesn’t seem to be working. I myself am very resistant to listening to or understanding anyone who doesn’t believe in equality and justice for all people, which is truly something I believe Jesus would be fighting for if he was here now. I don’t always listen with compassion or try to understand. I’m not Jesus. But at my best, I can at least hold compassion in my heart for the oppressors. It doesn’t excuse them from bad behavior, nor does it enable it to continue. But it makes ME feel more at peace, more empowered, more joyful and more full of love. It heals ME, not them.