#whatwouldjesusdo

God forbid we should look beyond the shade of our

skins into the contents of our character, or suggest that

sometimes biology does the ol’ switcheroo, hormonally

speaking, and a man might like another man the way he

likes a woman, or both, not to mention, why the hell do

you care what goes on in other folks’ bedrooms anyway?

There was once this liberal guy named Jesus who hung out

with the outcasts of society, the poor and the diseased

and the hated, and he said they were closer to God than

those wealthy mutherfuckers who prayed out in public

and made a big show about their supposed piety, and he

wore his hair long, never shaved, and looked like a hippie.

And call me crazy, but when I was in school, I learned

about this crazy little thing called Science® that dared

to suggest that empirical data collection might inform us

about natural phenomena more accurately than your gut

hunch or a religious document that was written thousands

of years ago that had zero interest in contemporary politics

or meteorology, and so when I see that every year, for the

last two decades, it’s getting hotter, and that it coincides

with human pollution, there just might something to it,

and I like romping through the woods dressed in flannel

just as much as the next guy, and I actually think those

trees have as much right to be there than another hundred

acres of poorly constructed McMansions© because greed

lasts forever, but nature won’t unless we leave it the fuck

alone. And everyone has a right to education and healthcare

because if you’re ignorant and sick, you cannot live to your

full capacity, and that should not be determined by income

or class. The Bible does not endorse guns, the Constitution

does not endorse Religion, and unless you are a Native,

you and your ancestors were immigrants, just like the rest