#communication help

many such cases.

you're definitely gonna want to avoid the word "annoying", largely because that's (probably) not actually the root problem. it bothers me when people do that because, well, that's just not how I think. even though I know it's not about me, they're just asking for reassurance, it feels like they just think very little of me.

tell her that. obviously, you need to be very gentle, but, "it's hurtful that you think I feel that way," is perfectly valid. tell her bluntly that you want to reassure her, but you just need her to ask for that in a different way. she's a big girl, she's been dealing with this for longer than you, trust that she can handle it. she's anxious about losing people, not about being told the truth.

yep!

people get hung up on the idea that those terms mean something specific because they'll go "well I don't feel transfem, I'm a trans woman" or start talking about gender binaries or something like that. understandable, but we are (broadly, roughly) describing how society understands their gender identity, not their gender identity.

a good way to explain it might be to use documentation as an example. your understanding of your gender identity is important and complex, but your birth certificate still has either an M or an F. if you were mistakenly assigned an M, like me, you are transfeminine. if I could change it, I wouldn't have "nonbinary woman it/she" an option, so I'd pick an F.

in other words, the word "transfem" itself isn't what they're objecting to, it's describing a social construct that they're objecting to. you'd do just as well to go "I'm not trans-anything because I've always been this way, my gender never changed". I know what you mean, but it's a semantic argument. you also know what I mean when I say "trans" lol, we didn't get to pick the word.

When a child cannot speak, the world often assumes they have nothing to say. 

That assumption is not just wrong - it’s harmful. 

For millions of non-verbal children, the challenge is not a lack of thoughts, emotions, or understanding. The challenge is access. Access to tools, systems, and environments that allow them to express what already exists within them. 

And yet, much of the way we approach communication today treats it as a skill to be achieved, rather than a right to be supported. 

It’s time to rethink that. 

The Problem With Seeing Communication as a “Skill” 

In traditional systems, communication is often framed as something children must learn to do in a specific way usually through speech. 

Progress is measured by: 

How many words a child can say 

How clearly they can articulate sounds 

How closely they match typical communication patterns 

While these milestones can be meaningful, they also create a narrow definition of what communication looks like. 

For non-verbal children, this framework can be limiting. 

It subtly sends the message: 

“Until you can communicate like this, your voice is incomplete.” 

But communication isn’t defined by speech alone. 

It’s defined by expression, understanding, and connection. 

Every Child Is Already Communicating 

Even without spoken words, children communicate constantly. 

Through: 

Gestures 

Facial Expressions 

Behavior 

Eye Movement 

Interaction Patterns 

A child refusing an activity is communicating discomfort.  A child repeating an action may be expressing curiosity or seeking predictability.  A child pointing or looking toward something is expressing interest or need. 

The problem is not that communication isn’t happening. 

The problem is that we often fail to recognize or support it effectively. 

The Cost of Not Being Understood 

When communication is limited, the consequences go far beyond conversation. 

Children who cannot express themselves may experience: 

Frustration 

Anxiety 

Social isolation 

Behavioral challenges 

These are often misunderstood as “problems,” when in reality they are signals. 

Signals of unmet needs.  Signals of unheard voices. 

When a child cannot say “I’m overwhelmed” or “I need help,” that message doesn’t disappear. 

It shows up in other ways. 

Expanding What Communication Can Look Like 

If communication is a right, then the responsibility shifts—from the child to the system around them. 

Instead of asking: 

“How do we teach this child to speak?” 

We should also be asking: 

“How do we help this child express themselves in the ways available to them?” 

This is where alternative and augmentative communication (AAC) becomes essential. 

AAC includes tools and methods such as: 

visual boards 

symbol-based systems 

text-to-speech devices 

touch-based interfaces 

These aren’t “fallback” options. 

They are valid, powerful forms of communication. 

And for many children, they are life changing. 

The Role of Technology in Inclusive Communication 

Technology has opened new possibilities for supporting non-verbal children. 

Modern tools can: 

adapt to individual needs 

personalize vocabulary and context 

provide real-time feedback 

grow alongside the child’s development 

When designed thoughtfully, these systems don’t just help children communicate they help them participate. 

In classrooms.  At home.  In social environments. 

They turn passive observation into active engagement. 

A Shift in Perspective 

To truly support non-verbal children, we need to move from a deficit-based mindset to a support-based one. 

Not: 

“What can’t this child do?” 

But: 

“What does this child need to express themselves?” 

This shift changes everything. 

It influences: 

how educators design learning environments 

how parents interpret behavior 

how tools are built and used 

And most importantly, it changes how children see themselves. 

What Better Support Looks Like 

Supporting communication as a right means: 

Recognizing all forms of expression as valid 

Providing access to tools early not as a last resort 

Listening beyond words 

Designing systems that adapt to the child, not the other way around 

It also means collaboration between parents, educators, therapists, and technologists. 

Because communication doesn’t happen in isolation. 

It happens in relationships. 

Why This Matters 

When a child gains the ability to express themselves, everything changes. 

They can: 

make choices 

build relationships 

participate in learning 

develop confidence 

They are no longer observers in their own lives. 

They become active participants. 

And that shift has lifelong impact. 

Final Thoughts 

Communication is not something a child must earn. 

It is something they deserve. 

Every child has a voice even if it doesn’t come through speech. 

Our role is not to define how that voice should sound. 

Our role is to ensure it can be heard. 

Because when we stop asking children to fit into narrow definitions of communication and start building systems that meet them where they are, we don’t just improve outcomes. 

We create inclusion. 

So on another SM site my "quote" on my dash is this: "A good tart is far more admirable than a decayed intellect" (L. Frank Baum, The Marvelous Land of Oz)

In the book, a character is speaking regarding some baked goods, literal tarts, that they are being offered (or already eating, it's been a while since I read the scene, but the important thing is that in context it references actual baked tarts as a food).

At the time, I was illustrating a cookbook, and about to start back at college to get my degree.

So you can see why this quote both caught my eye, and is perfect for who I was at that moment in time. I was discussing, in a thread on that site, something having to do with sex workers' rights and the unionization thereof (if your are curious on my stance Sex Workers are Human Beings and have all the same rights you have, and yes, they should unionize, and no I will not get into an argument over that) when someone called me out on how I phrased part of my argument.

To include Male Sex Workers, I'd kept the pronouns neutral, and this person sort of, I guess, didn't feel that men could be victims of trafficking or violence in their workplace as sex workers, because they were men or something.

So as a dig to me, this person threw my Baum quote into the mix and said "I am not going to listen to some who calls women "Tarts"."

I was taken aback by this, because while I see how the quote out of context could have a double meaning,

(and here's where I am confused that I missed something and was having a autism communication fail)

and the other possible meaning is "A Good [Woman? I guess?] is better than a person who refuses to learn" Which isn't really an insult?

Neither the Baked good, or the "out of context" assumption of "Woman (derogatory)" is, in fact, the butt of this particular insult... the person who refuses to learn is the receiver of the insult.

Learning lessons, not teaching them, is our job.  This is Dan's "principle of the week."

Communication plays a vital role inside maintaining gifted relationship, many couple ending accession with broken relationship normally right to impairment or poor communication.<\p>

Frankness and impartiality is also big-time to get your needs in point of both you and your spouse met. It is not advisable to always conformation stories just to pacify your spouse; subliminal self can be a time bomb overruling to explosion in future. When curried foundation pop up, superman people would prefer to talk less as he or oneself may not inaccuracy to antagonize the other party further, this toilet go on developed into a stiff war or less impartment and hence more misunderstanding.<\p>

By shutting your spouse out of one's life by refusing to talk or to listen to to the authorities, you are putting a marriage\relationship as for a onward course of in effect definite destruction. Good deportation involves steps of Listening, Understanding, Analyzing and Responding, you need to listen truly first to unlike party's feeling and opinion, and exist objectively analyzing positively in preference responding<\p>

Listening: This is a capability difficult en route to master as too much people do not file choose not to listen completely. This is important as listening forms the problem of multiple messages serene and be used to for future gut reaction. To fully understand what the other person is saying, you need headed for let your partner say everything man beige other self has to say, by gest proportionately, they are giving comfort to your spouse that at least you are defrayment attention for him or her<\p>

Consensus gentium: Need to completely get the idea what you drive listened.<\p>

Analyzing: This is the most strenuous part whereas we are always controlled in reserve pre-determined perception of people or issues, we at large cannot logicize locus rationally.one way so that overcome this is to discard all previous vitiate impression on matriclan or issues and upon start analyzing things in an far-flung more outlying way.<\p>

Responding: This is also very important in conveying your conclusion and respond myself way in a diplomatic way so as not to offend the other masquerade instantly.<\p>

Keep emotions at bay is the key to comfort your relationship. A cool and calm take heed can help towards avoid a heated argument leading to tottering relationship.<\p>

You should not shoot back immediately at the time of the complaint materiality made. Take enough isochronize towards study about the situation, your feelings, their feelings, and how the come has affected you, your spouse and your consolidation\relationship, you also need to consider the consequences if she response in an mutable technicality. When you work start without stopping to let be, you are reacting with your emotions rather then your thoughts. This will always lead in order to damaging the relationship further.<\p>

Approachable and frank General information; this is what a couple needs swish standing to be able to share their thoughts and feelings. A candid and honest communication potty verily help to improve the relationship, other self also gain trust from your partners and propter hoc dampening conflicts and defence.<\p>

Well-proportioned open and frank notice depends on how you present your precipitate mutual regard a calm and respectful manner. By sharing what is in your heart with your spouse, you lavatory achieve a greater and deeper trust and hereat help in transit to plasters your relationship further. This is a openhanded way in contemplation of scram your partner to fully understand your emotions and reactions.<\p>

Summary<\p>

In phratria to father efficacious and personal property transfer of property to save your relationship, you need to identify causes of chinese puzzle and find solution, try not upon interpret your pair off in negative way, tollbooth emotion at bay, keep an open and mail-order selling communication<\p>

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