#interpersonal skills

So earlier I received the message screencapped in this picture. "Hey sub" - that was the message. I've received similar messages - "Hey slave", for example - before, and I've screencapped and commented on at least one of them, but I'm taking this a step further.

Before making this post I did a little look-see at some of my posting stats here. Tumblr says I have, prior to this one, 247 posts. Looking at my archive and counting posts by the subject matter of the picture, if any, accompanying the post I have, give or take:

35 posts about diving

30 about gas masks

28 about other breathing/protective gear (such as military aviation oxygen masks, hazmat SCBA gear, etc)

30 about hairy, bearded, and/or bald guys

7 in which the main focus is cigars (there's some overlap here with hairy and/or bearded)

In some number of these posts, for example my "Fuck me, Cigar Man" posts, or those where I indicate a desire for/interest in bondage/control, I do show what could be taken as a sub/bottom side. But really, if you look at my posts, look at the pictures, is it not fairly noticeable that I'm something of a switch (I think that's the right word - you crazy yoots with your whack sexaul orientation/kink terminology)? Can you not see that I'm really about pleasure exchange, about both (or all three, or however many) of us enjoying the experience?

Perhaps even bigger than that - isn't it pretty fucking obvious that I'm really much more about diving, gas masks, and other gear than about being a sub? There's not a damn thing wrong with being a sub, of course, and I will happily take that role - but if "Hey sub" is your opening line, that's pretty fucking pitiful. "Hey slave" is even worse. Worse than worthless.

You really want to get my attention? Show me that you've spent at least a few minutes scrolling through my posts. Almost every one of them has a little bit of commentary that maybe gives a little insight into what makes me tick. Some of "The Olds" out there might remember a commercial for a perfume that had a tag line that went something like "You want to catch someone's attention? Whisper." That's what I want. I'm well past the point of needing to be hit with a 2x4 to get my attention. You know what does? Lead off with something like:

"Yo, Cueball!" ("Hey dickhead" or other salutation forthrightly noting my baldness gets a similar positive response.)

"Hey smoke pig"

"Private Gowalski, you've been selected for the next round of gas mask testing."

"Red Diver - ready to splash" (note, however, that I may react as though my boss has slid into my messages)

Whisper.

One cannot under emphasize the role of communication in our day to day social life. Whenever we express ourselves at work, communicate with family about how we feel or simply move around in society, everything depends on our communication and the way we are seen by other people through it, which determines our link with surrounding world. Notwithstanding this fact, many individuals take communication for granted; and such like people including me have developed certain habits that may not be very helpful.

From what I have experienced, you need to be patient enough and ready to improve every day to learn how you can make sense out of your words and put them into proper communication so as to become a better communicator. As time went by, I was able to realize the great impact brought about by effective interaction. This is because information does not only convey messages but also links people and helps them understand each other better.

In my blog, I will discuss some tips that improved my interpersonal skills such as listening well and resolving conflicts gracefully.

We had a writer's group on Tuesday, and it really sounds like everyone showed up stressed and vulnerable. But it turns out I was ruder than I realized and made her feel disrespected, and she confronted me over facebook messenger.

However, the way she addressed it Wednesday morning made me think she was expecting me to get completely defensive about my behavior. I know I can be really self-centered, but that tendency is also what caused me to burn more than one bridge in the past. I've played the avoidance game with other things and people. In the end, it never really helped anything. I still had to face those people and situations all the same.

So the easiest thing to do was just face what happened head on, with as much dignity as I could. And if I really must fall, at least let me do so gracefully. I was actually grateful she brought it up with me privately in a way I could measure out my response. It just hurt that it felt like she expected me to start arguing with her.

And I'm sitting here, just wondering--why is it the 33 year old child hermit with more trauma than you can shake a stick at who has all these things figured out? By all accounts, I still have no idea what I'm doing with others.

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