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A quick thing for Day 4 of Commander Fox Week 2021 - Laughter. Inspired by the rewrite of Bezos I that @parkotedarasuum and I’s rotted brains came up with, which you can read under the cut :)
Nabooian senator
Born in BBY 84
Sheev
Sheev Palpatine
Nabooian senator
Born in BBY 84
Sheev
Sheev Palpatine
Come on, Sheevy, you can do it
Pave the way, put your back into it
Tell us why
Show us how
Look at where you came from
Look at you now
Or-gana and Mas and Padme
Amateurs can fucking suck it
Fuck their wives, drink their blood
Come on, Sheev, get 'em!
[*Sick synth solo*]
Reference:
Taglist: @ct-9904, @xviii-themoon, @twisted-falcon, @findhimfives, @the-dreamy-space, @fake-fullbuster, @parkotedarasuum, @beckettsmeckett, @icanbringyouincold, @limeyartspinningtales, @persaloodles, @puirell, @dagobahbound, @a-disaster-named-milo, @ahsoka1, @1-or-a-0 dm/send me an ask if you'd like to be added/removed (again im not sure who wants to be tagged in just oc stuff or other art so... lmk)
Better late than never, right? Anyway, this is the first digital art I've done, also the first clone actually wearing armour, so I hope you guys like it <3
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Look, Fox deserves all the fluff and I am here to provide it. @loving-fox-hours
The Care and Feeding of Commander Fox
Fox was on a routine and thankfully uneventful patrol of the halls of the Senate when he noticed someone coming towards him. They were short, bipedal, covered in marbled grey fur, and had six arms, two sets of which were currently crossed over their chest. They were also wearing a purple tooka romper, so he hazarded a guess that they were a juvenile.
He stopped as the presumed juvenile stomped up to him, thrust all six arms in the air, and made a buzzing clicky sound. Fox didn't need a translator to figure out that command.
"Are you lost?" He bent to pick up the young harch- for that's what they had to be, especially with the six red eyes- and settled them against his hip.
A derisive clicking and a firm shake of the head. So either they weren't lost or refused to admit it. He sent a message off to Sergeant Rattle, letting her know what he'd found. If a frantic parent or guardian called in looking for a missing youngling, Rattle could reassure them and let him know where to go.
"I'm Commander Fox," he said, in case the armor wasn't enough indication he was a Safe Grownup. "Do you want me to take you back to your guardian?" he asked, checking the hallway just in case this turned out to be a short exercise.
Another headshake and the harch mashed their face against his chestplate, making a keening sound that made his teeth hurt.
"Right, no guardian, then," he said. What the frip was a harchling doing running around the Senate, anyway? Last he'd heard Secundus Ando was still firmly Separatist, so they wouldn't have a senator here.
"How about something to eat?"
This, at least, got a pleased warble, although they kept their face pressed into his chest. The upper set of arms hooked around his neck, the middle set had tiny claws hooked around the edge of his armor plate, and the last set clung to the arm that was holding them.
"I'm afraid the Guard mess isn't very exciting," he said as he made a turn to head in that direction. "Our rations are geared for humans, but they should be safe for you as well."
He was pulling up everything he could about harch dietary habits, which seemed to go heavy on liquid proteins and meat rather than live bugs as he'd been half afraid would be the case.
A bubbling hiss as the harch shook their head and pointed one three-fingered hand in the other direction. Towards the visitors cafe. Fox snorted.
"Sorry, kid, but if you're with me, it's the Guard mess or nothing. We aren't allowed in the places real people go. Might offend them with our stench."
He said it like a joke, but it was true enough. Rich folk like the Senators and their guests hated being confronted by commoners, and by their reckoning clones were a step down from that. Or several.
The harchling made a show of sniffing him, still pointing the way to the cafe. When it was clear Fox wasn't going to obey their simple instruction, they started to wriggle.
Fox had done his share of creche-work back on Kamino and had even volunteered a time or two at the Jedi Temple, but none of it compared struggling with an eight-limbed mini-tyrant intent on getting what they wanted. They started an oscillating whine and were starting to draw unwanted attention.
He flipped on his internal comm. "Rattle, what in the Storms-cursed hells is taking so long?"
"Oh! Commander!" Rattle sounded surprised. "Uh, is everything alright? I mean, no one's reported any missing children yet, but you'll be the first to know, sir!"
Fox grunted as he took a well-placed foot, or possibly fist, to the stomach.
"But there is, uh, news!"
Rattle sounded odd, but Fox was too busy struggling to hold on to figure it out. He'd stopped walking and was seriously debating how much trouble he'd be in if he just dropped the kid.
"Turns out there's a celebrity visiting today! You know Bivi? Silken queen of the pop charts? She's here to be thanked for-"
"Why the frip weren't we told?" Fox snarled. He turned and started heading in the direction the harchling demanded. Hells, for all he knew, they were saying that's where their caretaker was.
"Funny thing about that," Rattle started.
"Never mind! Just- see if we can get some of the Guard in her detail. Shadow 'em if you have to, but I don't want any reports to say we snubbed some fancy-damned superstar." He didn't quite sneer the last word, but it was close.
"Yessir," Rattle said. "If I hear anything more, I'll let you know!"
There was that weird note in her voice again, but before he could ask her about it, the comm disconnected. He glanced down at the harchling, who'd gone docile again once they saw he was heading in the right direction.
"Fine, kid," he said, switching to his outer comm again. "We'll do it your way, but I hope you're okay with eating alone."
He wasn't honestly sure either of them would be allowed in since he couldn't provide a name or sponsor for the harchling, but if their guardian or caretaker was indeed in there at least it'd solve half his problems. Then he could concentrate on the nightmare of some ditzy singer running loose without a Guard presence.
Sure enough, as they approached the entrance to the cafe a silvery protocol droid stepped into the doorway.
"I beg your pardon, Sir and Mx," it said, "but the Freedom Cafe is off limits to non-members."
Disdain dripped from its tone. If it had more of a nose it definitely would have been looking down it at them.
"Do you see who you're looking for?" Fox asked.
The harchling turned a bit to face the droid and began to talk. It was full of whistles and clicks, and when they finally stopped, the lights in the droid's eyes actually blinked as it took a step back, bowing.
"My most profound apologies, Your Ladyship! Of course you and your Noble Guardian are most welcome!"
It bowed again, moving aside and gesturing for them to enter.
"If there's anything Your Ladyship requires, please, don't hesitate to ask!"
Fox looked down at the harchling, who gave him a squinty-eyed look in return. How something with six eyes, fur, and mandibles could radiate smugness like that was beyond him, but there was no doubt that's exactly what they- what she- was doing.
"Your Ladyship, huh?" He moved past the droid, taking a quick look around the room as he made his way to the serving line. "Something you want to tell me?"
She chirped at him, her tone inquisitive, and all her eyes wide in an unconvincing display of innocence. He huffed.
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
For a species that was supposed to prefer a liquid diet, the harchling seemed happy enough to stock up on steak and shellfish. After some argument he convinced her to take some vegetables as well, then she returned the favor by insisting he pick food for himself.
There were a few visiting dignitaries sitting on the far side of the room as well as a gaggle of aides making a mess and swapping horror stories about their senators. Nothing he hadn't heard before. He'd set the harchling down so he could carry both their trays and she strutted along behind him as if she owned the place. Knowing his luck, she probably did.
He picked a quiet table shielded by plants with a nice view of the air traffic outside and set the trays down. Her Ladyship climbed into a chair on her own and stared at him until he sat.
It was a good thing that there was no one here to see him being ordered around by a toddler. He'd been in far more humiliating situations and unlike other times he wasn't afraid to tell her "no," but, well, sometimes it was easier to just go along with whatever was happening and younglings were one of his biggest weaknesses. At least the ones who weren't malicious demonspawn like their parents.
Fox pulled his helmet off and set it on the empty chair beside him. He still had his wrist comm if there was an emergency and Rattle kept "dropping" his calls as if it wasn't blatant she was doing it. The squad channel was full of the usual chatter, so while he was suspicious, he wasn't worried something was wrong.
He ate his burger and "truffle fries," savoring every bite and trying not to think about how much worse rations were going to taste after this. He also did his best to ignore the unpleasant crunching sounds from his companion. Apparently harch could eat shellfish whole.
He accepted what pieces she offered him and caught every attempt she made to hide her vegetables, making sure she ate all of it.
It was the best meal he'd had in his entire life, and he hoped that whoever she was- or whoever her parent might be- that they wouldn't find a way to reverse the charge to his account instead.
While he was brooding over how to get her back where she belonged, she gabbled at a passing serving droid, who sped off only to return with a couple of plates sporting enormous slices of chocolate cake.
"You've gotta be kidding me," he said.
The harchling pointed her fork at him and whistle-clicked at him, waiting. He could refuse; he'd been more than reasonably accommodating and even a clone had to draw a line somewhere, but... it was chocolate cake. With at least two inches of chocolate frosting and a dollop of what was undoubtedly real whipped cream slowly melting over it.
He picked up his fork and took a bite. Flavor exploded in his mouth and he closed his eyes to savor the moment. He heard a chirp and the clatter of a fork on china that meant his tiny abductor had joined him.
"What is the point of all this?" He asked between bites. "You're clearly more capable than you pretend and if you really needed help it sounds like the droids here can actually understand you."
The harchling tilted her head, making an inquiring chirp. There was frosting smeared around her mandibles.
Fox gave her a level look. "Just because I'm a clone doesn't mean I'm an idiot, miss." He sent a silent prayer to the Great Seas that he wasn't setting himself up for a reprimand by talking back.
The harchling put down her fork and reached across the table toward him, taking his free hand in both of her upper ones and stroking it. She crooned softly, which wasn't much of an answer but did feel like an apology.
One of her middle hands came up, clutching a small stuffed toy, and pushed it across the table. He put down his own fork to pick up the toy, which looked like a well-loved yellow harch.
"I don't understand," he said, checking to see if it had a name or ID on it.
The harchling brought her middle hands together and tilted her head against them, closing her eyes.
Fox's mind reeled. "You... want me to take a nap?" He couldn't quite believe it. He'd had a lot of strange days in the Guard, but this was borderline surreal.
The harchling opened her eyes and nodded, but before he could respond there was a commotion at the door.
He was up and shielding the harchling before he'd made a conscious choice to move. Cam droids hovered in the air and he recognized a couple of reporters backing into the room, peppering someone with questions.
Then the "someone" stepped in and he felt his stomach drop.
It was another harch. They had ghostly white fur that glittered under the flashbulbs and startling blue eyes. They were wearing a shimmering black dress and carefully-fitted matching boots.
The harchling behind him gave a piercing whistle and hopped to his shoulder and he struggled to secure her, heart hammering wildly as all attention focused on him.
Several camdroids buzzed over and Kilsa Rumano, whom he'd had the misfortune to encounter several times already, looked like she'd just been handed a leading headline. She probably had. He could imagine the headline: Clone Commander Kidnaps Child.
The white harch, however, tossed two sets of arms theatrically in the air. "Ferra, my niblet! There you are!"
The crowd around them parted as the harch glided across the room in their direction, trailing reporters, attendants, and- yes- two guardsmen in her wake. It must be Bivi, the singer Rattle had warned him about. He was completely fripped.
"I see you found a dashing Guard Captain to watch over you," Bivi continued. "Well done!"
"Not just any Commander, mum," Ferra said in perfect Basic. "This is Commander Fox!"
Fox's neck wrenched painfully as he twisted his head to stare down at her. She grinned up at him, mandibles wagging.
"You..." He couldn't form words. At least not ones that were safe to say in current company.
She reached up to pat his cheek, leaving little smears of frosting.
"Commander Fox." The clicks in Bivi's voice almost sounded like purring. "Just the man I wanted to see!"
The next bit of time passed in a blur of praise from Bivi, questions from the reporters, and commentary from Ferra, who was acting as if he'd saved her from certain death.
It turned out that Bivi was in the Senate to accept a special thank you from the Chancellor for some charity fund she'd apparently organized for the clones. That really must have stuck in his craw, Fox thought. She'd wanted to meet whatever troopers she could find- including the Guard- but had been told they were all "too busy." Hence sending Ferra out to find one.
Ferra was the equivalent of around seven, but very mature for her age, and knew how to use that to her advantage. She decided he seemed overworked and endeavored to treat him the best way that she could.
The "plight" of the clones was mentioned to the eagerly listening reporters, and Bivi had some harsh criticisms of the Senate- and Palpatine in particular- that Fox knew would come back to bite him in the ass, but he was a little overwhelmed at that point.
The shaking shoulders of the two guardsmen in the back of the room and the flowery apology from Rattle told him that Ferra wasn't the only one who'd set him up for this.
Bivi had piles of merchandise for him to distribute among the Guard and any other interested brothers. She also handed him a stack of tickets for her show later that evening, and as she handed them to him one of her clawed fingers tapped against an off-colored card mixed in with the tickets.
Ferra gave him a chocolaty kiss on the cheek and thanked him for his help, mumbling an apology for tricking him. Her mother kissed him as well, thanked him, and whispered in his ear that more help was always available as long as he knew where to look.
It took awhile to get everyone herded back out into the hall and for once Fox was grateful for the snobbishness of the cafe droids, who were not above mildly electrocuting reporters to get them out of the way.
Since Bivi and her entourage were on their way out Fox corralled the two guardsmen, Divot and Banger, into helping him carry their gifted haul back to the office.
"Breathe one word and you're both on Sewer Inspection for a month," he growled.
They saluted, but he could tell they were still laughing behind their helmets. Good help was hard to find. Between them and the traitorous Rattle, the sewers were going to be safer than ever.
Once safely locked in his office, he inspected the concert tickets. In among the front-row tickets was a slip of paper with a string of numbers and a four digit code.
Just in case the Chancellor forgets to pass this along.
- Bivi
It was the Support Our Troops account she'd been raising money for. Fox didn't dare take a look, not yet.
In among the t-shirts, bags, branded glowsticks, and other Bivi-related paraphernalia were some encrypted comms, datapads, and some top-of-the-line jammers. Fox breathed out slowly, wondering exactly what he was getting into with this. Maybe it was time to comm Cody. Chances were he was the intended recipient anyway. After all, why would a famous pop star care about him in particular? He never made the holonews like Cody did.
He reached up to touch the spot where she'd kissed him and his fingers came away Corrie Crimson. Kriff. He checked his reflection in a datapad and saw two odd marks on his cheeks; one larger crimson one and a smaller black one. Kriff kriff kriff. Maybe he'd wind up on the holonews after all. Or at least, most definitely, the tabloids.
Sewer Inspection duty wasn't severe enough. He'd need to think up something worse.
Commander Fox reviews footage of the Cold Spear Peace … for work, of course.
A few creative liberties taken, but I think Fox would be so enamoured of Senator Chuchi by this point, and very proud of her diplomacy. Five-foot-nothing and marched up singly to a mounted hostile force … she’d never make a pikeman, but she stood fast upon the snow.
Commander Fox Week is an Art and Writing Challenge that was created because Fox needs more love. It takes place in the week from the 9th to 15th August 2021.
You want to participate? The rules are simple:
1. Post your work on Tumblr and tag it with #CommanderFoxWeek2021 and @ me in the post. I will reblog it here. You can also post a link to your work if you posted it on another website.
2. Please tag your work! Use appropriate tags and warnings.
3. If anyone wants to do clonecest, I ask you to put a warning (that counts for everything sensitive) before your work and then put a read-more link after that so anyone that doesn’t want to be exposed to that kind of content can easily skip it. If you don’t do this I can’t reblog it.
4. All general rules are stated in the pinned post on this blog and apply to this event. That post also includes a suggestion as to how to format your post for anyone who struggles with that. You do not need to use that format, but your post structure must be in order with the rules.
5. Choose one (or both, if you want to) of the prompts for every day and be creative. Ships or no ships, everything is welcome :)
If you have any questions you can send asks or DMs