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The until now unspoken rules for cooks and chefs eating out, at restaurants besides their own.
1. Thou shalt not order based on price.
Chances are, you don’t get to eat out that often. So when you do, make the most of your night off. Get what you want. That means ordering at least one appetizer, an entrée and a dessert, two or three appetizers and an entrée, or even four appetizers and a dessert. You get the picture. You pretty much can’t over-order.
2. Thou shalt not get the same thing as thy neighbor
You are responsible for the variety of samplings at your table. This also means not letting your friends order the same things as each other. Be insistent.
3. Thou shalt not modify the menu
Make your choice based on what is printed on the menu. The only exception is if anaphylaxis is a real threat. We’re not talking any imagined discomfort or 'gassiness'. Hospitalization and death are the only excuses for breaching a "can you do it without this" conversation with the waiter. Even still, you should just order something else.
4. Thou shalt consume what thou has ordered
When it comes to wines by the glass, taste no more than two, and pick from your choices. You can only send back a bottle of wine if it’s corked. You can’t send back a bottle of wine because you don’t like it or it isn’t what you were expecting. The same goes for food. Never send it back unless there is something fundamentally wrong with the dish.
5. Though shalt treat the restaurant like it’s a business
If you’re waiting at the bar for your table, you must order a drink. If you’re not drinking, get a soda. Order something, and tip. Chances are they know you’re a cook. Represent. Order a full meal at a table. Don’t chince. Get decent wine, and order dessert. If you don’t want dessert, at least get an espresso or an after dinner drink.
6. Thou shalt explain the menu, and that’s just the way it goes
You will have to read through the menu for your table. You’re going to have to tell everyone what this is, and what that is. Even though it’s not your menu, you’d better know what gougeres, lapin, gnudi, nuoc cham, and ribolitta are. Otherwise go back to school. You are responsible for all things at all times when it comes to food.
7. Thou shalt resist the temptation to play the cook-card
If you get caught in a sticky situation with a server, don’t let them know that you’re a professional and you think about food 20 hours a day, and that you know better than they do of their own business. It’s obnoxious and immediately you’re the douche. If you’re so inclined, have your sleeves rolled up. Any savy server should recognize the arms of a cook at a glance. Show, don’t tell.
8. Thou shalt respect the ambiance
Most NYC restaurants have a pretty casual way these days, and it's rare to come across an actual dress code anymore. So that leaves it up to you not to look like a douche. You can’t wear crappy T-shirts and most of all, no hats. Period. Find another way to be cool.
9. Thou shalt eat at the bar
The bar will likely end up being your favorite place to eat a full dinner. The bartender will be psyched for some decent conversation and a fun-loving guest.
10. Thou shalt try many restaurants
Don’t just go to Corner Bistro and Blue Ribbon. There is never a shortage of new restaurants in New York. Get in the habit of changing things up as much as possible. Experience can only help you, even bad ones. Make sure to try the institutions as well as the new hot ones. When it comes up in conversation, you better know what the floor at Peter Lugers looks like. 10 points if you’ve been to Maxwell’s Plum.
