#comics!amora

You mean "Ultimate Thor"? I went on a huge rant on that comic run.

I generally despise "Evil from Birth" narratives. Or the "we were right to torture you" kind of punitive justice. So that would be most of the Thor comics.The thing is, I don't think I hate comics!Loki, I like comics!Loki out of spite. Because the writers didn't want me to like him, but the narrative gave me bad vibes.

CW: Transphobic dogwhistles

I'm torn on Lady Loki because I find Loki interesting during that run (I love the interactions with Dr. Doom) and therefore don't hate them, but I FUCKING HATE that they wrote Loki stealing Sif's body. I hate how it's "justified" by dudebros and pseudo-feminists with "it's an allegory for rape" as if there hadn't been any rape in Thor comics before. The whole body thief thing is actually a transphobic dogwhistle in the same way that Silence of the Lamb's Buffalo Bill was: "A man wearing a woman's body/skin to seduce and manipulate other men." Can we get that retconned into Loki just shapeshifting rather than stealing Sif's body?

NVM, I KNOW WHICH RUN/DEPICTION I FUCKING HATE AS MUCH AS ULTIMATE THOR! It's Thor: Son of Asgard!!

CW: Sexual assault, magical roofies, Karnilla being a pedo, Loki being a creep, Amora and Sif also being creeps

I hate when Loki's written as "the creepy nerd lusting over the popular hot girl" (comics!Sif) or abusive/rapey husband (comics!Sigyn). Which is a bunch of comic runs. Like so:

I think the writing on "Son of Asgard" is terrible/cheesy(they have a chapter called "The Warriors Teen" *eyeroll*) and it's full of rapey plots. Loki is rapey (with Sif and colludes with Amora). Amora is rapey (with Thor). Karnilla is rapey (with Loki). Even Sif is rapey! (with Thor).

The plot is stupid. They go on some mindless quests as glorified poachers because Odin told them to do so, and relish in torturing and killing a poor dragon that was just minding its own business, among other things. Sif and Balder whine about Thor not giving them a say on agreeing to the quest despite following him over there. Fucking jackasses. Meanwhile Loki is doing stupid magic bullshit to impede on their quest from afar, justifying Sif's suspicions and hatred of Loki that would otherwise seem unjustified and ridiculous. IDK I hate when they justify over-the-top suspicion of "Loki told the dragon where we were" rather than "We were actively seeking the dragon for its scales because we're poachers." It's also used to justify over-the-top punishments for Loki with evil monologues and thought bubbles or lazily written magic bullshit. It also makes Asgard seem incredibly incompetent and stupid.

My thoughts exactly, Thor:

I also dislike how Sif is written. She's "masculine" but in the ways cishet men would find "hot". A scantily clad warrior with the supermodel physique constantly contorting in weird ways. Her personality revolves around her obsession with Thor and her suspicion/hatred of Loki. It's a crime to write a warrior woman so heterosexually. They made her go off about how she wishes to be gifted with a JEWEL from the shitty sand place. So, they all get swallowed by the sand (and Loki too because he was a dumbass and materialized in the location). They escape by not feeling anything because there's weird baby crystal things that seek emotions. Loki is captured by Karnilla restrained by a bunch of creepy hands in creepy places, and Karnilla kisses a teenage Loki. Loki absorbs her magic through the kiss and escapes.

Loki refuses to help Karnilla out of love for Odin. I'll admit this is kinda cute and can't believe they actually gave him a redeemable trait:

Thor just won't give up on those damned quests. It's ridiculous! Priorities!

Ridiculously, Karnilla antagonizes Thor by turning a whole lake into sand. An adult woman beefing with a bunch of teen poachers. He takes some sand from the lake and goes back to Asgard to find it under attack. Thor and co save the day, only for Thor to be shot with an arrow by Karnilla. Karnilla and Odin fight. Odin takes pity on her and spares her. Thor is saved by "the power of love" aka Sif's tears.

Karnilla takes Loki hostage:

Balder tries to sacrifice himself for Loki. Karnilla is conveniently weirded out by such a selfless act and vanishes. Odin makes a sword out of the shit they got from the quests, and hands it over to Balder for his brave sacrifice.

Frigga damn... "only son"...

Volstagg is sexist to Sif and Sif is fatphobic to Volstagg... damn these comics have a fatphobia problem among other things...

Sif beats his ass. Then challenges Thor who pulls her by the hair and wins (for a warrior, Sif is dressed in very inconvenient ways). Everyone is like "yes Thor, you beat the ONE GIRL" and Sif gets angry and broods.

We cut to Loki's schemes and hate of Sif:

My thoughts exactly, Amora. The cishet writers fumbled on writing these two (Sif and Loki). They should have been GNC queer besties.

When people tell me Loki was not queer-coded before the whole bodytheft subplot:

Amora and Loki plot against Sif because Amora wants Thor for herself and Loki wants Thor out of the way. Thor attempts to console Sif. They're about to kiss when Amora interrupts them, calls Sif a slut, and Sif bitchslaps her.

Thor breaks up the fight and tells Sif there was no need to bitchslap Amora. Sif gets angry and leaves. The next day, there's a new female student in the warrior training class, Brunhilde. Sif remarks that "She had to be blonde." Lol.

They show Sif's backstory as a former blonde. Loki cut her hair out of jealousy that she was in love with Thor. He regretted it and got her replacement hair. However, the hair turned from blonde to black and "marred" her beauty.. Thanks, I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable... Sif is insecure of her black hair and jealous of the other blonde girls at schools.

Brunhilde wonders if Thor has his own special weapon because Balder got one in the previous issue. Thor says not yet, but one day he will when he's worthy. Sif takes offense because she's jealous of Brunhilde and bitchslaps her like she did Amora. A very male-gazey fight ensues, and Sif gets yanked by the hair once again. Sif just cut your damn hair. Sif gets in trouble for starting shit and gets told to use the facilities at the sorcery school to keep them from fighting again. Amora shows up and plays with Sif's insecurities, but seriously, she has a point in Sif resorting to violence way too often and easily. And I am being made uncomfortable by "dark hair and deeper tan on a woman=masculine" in this comic.

Sif and Loki conspire to magically roofie Thor with a magic mirror.

Sif gets the mirror.

Amora petrifies Sif (so that she watches), and steals the magic mirror from her, using it to make Thor fall in love with her. Loki very creepily frees Sif from her spell and confesses she wanted to see Sif's heart broken because he hates how Sif can "See through him." I thought he was going to do much worse because it looks bad, the way he holds Sif, when I first read this.

Sif goes straight to attacking Amora in a male gazey fight again, and Thor breaks up the fight and shames her for starting shit so often. Brunhilde finds the bag that held the mirror, and asks Sif about it. Sif confesses she wanted to use the mirror on Thor because she was jealous of Brumhilde.

Loki and Amora can't return the mirror without the pouch. Loki is about to be like "Lol nothing ties me to this crime." But Brunhilde and Sif catch them and tell them they have the bag. They say they'll give them the bag if they revert the spell. Brunhilde breaks the mirror, Thor is no longer under the spell and is hurt because he expected that from Amora but not from Sif. Frigga tells Sif that the mirror doesn't count and Thor still has his kiss virginity intact. Sif apologizes to Thor and they kiss.

Then Thor's trying to lift Mjolnir, and lifts it a little off the ground. Thor goes see the Norns to see what stands between his faith. I don't get it. Comes back to Asgard under attack and Sif being kidnapped by Storm Giants. Thor lifts the hammer with the power of love and goes to rescue Sif.

The cover for the next issue makes Thor look like an anime boy:

Thor collapses a bridge some giants were on, and they fall. He yeets himself with the hammer into the castle.

Thor kills a bunch of giants, and the comic makes a callback to Sif's introduction where Thor saves her from Hela. Here, the giant struck a bargain with Hela to gain immortality, exchanging Sif for it.

He finds Hela, who is pissed Thor's escaped from her grasp before.

This reminds me of Thor Ragnarok:

Hela may not be Odin's daughter here, but this has Thor Ragnarok vibes:

This echoes Sif's first appearance where Thor offers his own life in exchange for hers.

Hela warns Thor that they'll meet again. Sif and Thor kiss and fly away.