#comfood

one of the best kept secrets in henveiru is comfood's excellent savoury pies - they're doing two types at the moment: chicken & mushroom, and beef. all under fifty rufiyaa. it's a bargain, especially for those who've spent time abroad down under.

anyhow, here i am with moosaalhu again at raalhugandu, watching people of male enjoy the surf. i know i've said it before but i STILL can't get over just how quickly the FEEL changes when i cross the ring road and climb onto the sand of this beloved surf spot.

now, we're sitting on the bench under a canopy of kuredhi. it's late afternoon and cloudy, but we have a triad of colourful expatriate workers seated on the seawall, brightening up our mis en scene.

'i wonder if any of them had seen the sea before they moved here,' muses moosaalhu, gingerly biting into his chicken pie like the cautious man he is.

'not all of them are bangladeshis you know,' i tell him, taking a hefty chunk out of my beef pie. it's fantastic, i love the crispy crust and the filling. maybe i'd like some cheese in mine but that's another story.

'why, do you think bangladeshis are the only people who've had no experience of the ocean?' moosaalhu grins.

oh boy.

'anyway,' he continues. 'i love their colours, they are the same as my palette for the place i'm designing at this resort.'

'you know,' i begin. 'by the time bodu sappe' was your age, he'd already designed a bunch of resorts. not little cupboards in restrooms like you. ENTIRE fucking resorts!'

'hah, he was the only person around!' moosaalhu says with what i feel is a touch of envy. aha! i am pleased to have hit a nerve.

'have you SEEN nautilus, man?' i ask him. 'he's STILL making stuff. putting his thumbprint on maldives tourism. while there are SO MANY architects here.'

'huh, i don't judge my worth based on the work i do,' moosaalhu responds, grinning.

'what DO you judge your worth on then?' i ask him.

'i just don't judge myself,' he replies. 'unlike you.'

huh. i mean, what kind of person doesn't compare himself to his peers? his betters? moosaalhu clearly, but just look at this complacent man! how is one to live like that? how is one to IMPROVE?

'fuck self-improvement,' grins moosaalhu. goddammit! can the man read my mind?

'well, i pity you, moosa,' i tell him. 'really, i do. you're in arrested development while everyone around you rises to greatness.'

'yeah, like yourself?' he says, smiling.

'i've been published,' i tell him. 'in journals read by INTELLIGENT people.'

i'm here at comfood, trying out their all day breakfast bowl which is modestly priced at 55 MVR but it's more a snack than a meal.

on my way here, i was on the phone with faathumaafulhu, and as i was about to cross the street near masveringe park, i saw something special.

'oh man, you won't believe what i'm seeing,' i say.

'what is it? whatchu lookin' at?'

'it's this cab, man. it's all decked out in studs and satanist gear. like with a proper pentagram and shit,' i tell her.

'a satanist cab? in male?' faathumaafulhu seems incredulous.

'yes, and i think i know the guy who owns it. he used to have the skull of a goat on the wall of his apartment. facing the street!'

'wow,' she whistles. 'that's commitment.'

'yep.'

'you know what you should do?' she says.

'what?'

'do a series with male's weirdos.'

'hah,' i scoff. 'we'd be somewhere near the top, you and i.'

'why? who says we're weird?' she seems a little offended.

'our friends?'

'huh. what do they know? anyway, how was barbie last night? i still haven't seen it.'

'well, it was ok.'

'ok? what're you holding back?'

'i thought it was a bit heavyhanded with the politics, and tried to be clever and self-aware but not very successfully.'

'huh, what do you mean?' she asks.

'i mean, ahhh you don't have to beat the audience on the head with your message. people aren't idiots.'

'YOU're an idiot for thinking barbie'd be subtle,' she says.

'you should watch it tho, i did get some good laughs,' i say. 'but i liked wonder woman so much more. i think it managed to say something similar without sounding like a page of quotes ripped out of a student's gender studies notebook.'

'my god, you're STILL obSESSED with gal gadot you fucking zionist,' says faathumaafulhu. "a gentleman prefers brunettes. also, isn't it funny mattel doesn't have a woman ceo?'

'i dunno, is it?'

'ahh i gotta go, i'm about to order.'