#comeout

*Video!* THE SIGNS OF THE COMING OF THE SON OF MAN -> -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rktIJyyOElY&list=PLE8FlkxQPQkNhyk7QOplwIcW788ErwTRh&index=21 <- <- "Behold, all shall be moved from their places, that the eyes of the prideful might be opened and the ears of the arrogant unstopped, that all might repent and return to Me! Therefore watch! For the time has come for the will of God to be made manifest, for the earth to tremble and quake, to spew its fervent heat! Now is the time for signs in the heavens above and in the earth beneath, for the judgments of God to be poured out, for the wrath of God to fall from Heaven!

Therefore, come out from among them, And take refuge in Me…

For I am your only shelter, Your only sanctuary from the storm…

Says The Holy One of Israel."

If you want to come out, come out

If you want to be free, be free

‘Cause there’s a million things to be.

You know that there are.

 If you want to be Bi, be Bi

If you want to be Aro, be Aro

‘Cause there’s a million ways to go.

You know that there are.

 You can do what you want

The opportunity's on

And if you can find a new way

You can do it today

You can make it all true

And you can make it undo

you see ah ah ah

its easy ah ah ah

You only need to know

Well if you want to say yes, say yes

And if you want to say no, say no

'Cause there's a million ways to go

You know that there are

 If you want to be a Gay, be Gay

If you want to be straight, be straight

There ain’t no reason to hate

You know that there ain’t.

 You can do what you want

The opportunity's on

And if you can find a new way

You can do it today

You can make it all true

And you can make it undo

you see ah ah ah

its easy ah ah ah

You only need to know

 If you want to come out, come out

If you want to be free, be free

‘Cause there’s a million things to be.

So you can consider this as a come out post.

The story starts like this; My friends talking about how hot a guy walking by is, what they'd enjoy in bed, physical contact with people from the opposite sex and the story goes on. The thing is, that even when those conversations started around our puberty years, until now, on our twenties, I never felt comfortable with that. At first I thought, "I'm probably still immature for this and I cant understand." Or "It's because I never had someone to like me on the first place and I simply dont know yet."

That war on my head though, questioning if there's something wrong with me, started when I started seeing one guy. The thing though, that when it comes to physical contact, when I first thought that I'll feel a spark and as if a magic spell would immediately take away my "curse" and make me feel the need to get more physical (and everything that this includes) like how my friends and literally everyone feels, it was all fake.

This made me feel even worse. Something was definitely wrong. "You need to stop being a child, you're 20." "This is what everyone does, so why dont you do it?" "You're just scared." I thought.

And then, this popped on my mind. Maybe I was asexual after all. But then again, I did want to get physical but after I knew my partner like a friend before it was a lover.

So I started researching. I spent a whole day looking into what could explain what was "wrong" with me.

And then I saw an article talking about demisexuals. I had no clue what this meant though. But as I read, and read, and read, I couldn't believe I could relate that much to something. Let me put a small definition below to see what I mean;

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by only experiencing sexual attraction after making a strong emotional connection with a specific person. 

And it was true. So true. I looked back at all the crushes I had and realized that they all were my friends before I started having feelings. None of them had the perfect body, or was that handsome, but they were super friendly and their personality was literally praised . I only had fantasized on getting physical on them after a long time of me liking them. And to be honest, I even thought that I wouldn't mind having a romantic relationship with a girl, even though getting physical was a no.

After all, I'm still straight, but I just want my time after all. And maybe that's a bit longer than most people. I don't feel things seeing naked photos, or any kind of this material, but I do fantasize of being really close to someone at first before moving on the next level.

No wonder why I'm a pure vanilla and everything else makes me just disgusted. No wonder why I find one night stands or just not serious relationships not for me.

On a few words, having a sexual intercourse, was never my priority and I really dont care if it takes ages for me to experience it. All I'm currently looking for is a strong emotional bond and then everything else will come naturally.

I will tell about this to my friends soon, and I'm sure they'll understand. I mean my bestie thought I was asexual for a while.

This was longer than expected but even though I'm mostly writing this for myself in order to sort my thoughts, I want you to know that you're not alone and you can text me anytime about anything.