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Slop Caine Analysis video!!!

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Kids in the Archive: Episode 10
welcome back to kids in the archive! to celebrate my college graduation + KITA's 10th installment + finally honor the request i received from @oliviaskithworld multiple months ago (thank you for your patience!) today i'm going to be showcasing the classic s1e3 sketch "Citizen Kane"
even if there are other sketches that i would choose as my personal favorite, i respect "citizen kane" so much as a feat of comedic timing. the premise and dialogue are funny enough, but what puts them over the top is the perfect rhythm kevin and dave establish - fast-paced dialogue that's occasionally repetitive in its text but each repetition leads to escalation in the performance.
Citizen Kane: June 3rd 1989
I actually have two copies of the script for Citizen Kane: both dated 06/03/89, and nearly identical, to each other and to the version of the sketch that aired. There really aren't many differences to point out: some sentences are shorter or longer for the purpose of timing, and there is one specific line missing from the "white" pages that's present in the "pink" pages
i assume the version i have may not be a first draft - this was likely a scene performed at the rivoli for years before making it to the screen. or perhaps this scene was mostly created via improv, so the first time on paper was less an act of creation and more documenting what already existed. the only "big" changes are removing a section of brief physical comedy before picking up the newspaper (which was not being held by another customer).
honestly, as much as i wish i could've honored this request in a timely manner, the wait has allowed this episode to be so much better. this could have been it. i would have had to stretch these tiny differences into 3 bullet points because i just couldn't show you how the sketch evolved. except, as i write this on december 21st 2024, now i can. but we have to push a bit further...
Citizen Kane: ~2002
the kids in the hall tour-film "tour of duty" was unavailable to stream for most of this year before finally being reuploaded by a fan in november. i've previously put out a full essay with general thoughts on tour of duty, but let's examine the show's version of citizen kane.
tour of duty's "citizen kane" barely changes, especially compared to some of the other sketches in this show. sure, the words don't always line up exactly and the rhythm is a bit slower (a product of enunciating for a large theater vs recording a sketch for television), but most changes are physical. in the original sketch, a fake-arm was made for dave foley for the purposes of stabbing his hand. in this one, a prop-knife was used for the effect, freeing up both hands for motioning. most notably, this version ends with dave falling out of his chair and flipping 360 degrees before landing on the floor.
immediately following the sketch is a transitional scene with bruce and mark, where they essentially replicate the "citizen kane" bit of forgetting a name and refusing to admit you're wrong, only this time they're trying to remember the name of the sketch they just watched. it's cute.
Citizen Kane: November 25th 2024
so that's all well and good, but still not a lot of differences to parse through. what would it take for them to take citizen kane in a completely different direction?
well, what if 22 years later the kids in the hall reunited to put on a show in support of paul bellini's medical expenses, but dave foley wasn't able to attend due to pneumonia and the other kids barely had time to rehearse?
a high-quality version of the full show will be available in the new year, but recently i found a fan's uploads of a few iconic sketches from the november 2024 show, including the perfect finale to my citizen kane post, because oh boy did they go off-script. for starters, the original "citizen kane" as uploaded onto youtube is 4 minutes and 16 seconds. the "tour of duty" version (not counting bruce and mark's tag) is just under 6 minutes long. the november 2024 version is NEARLY TEN MINUTES LONG
and uniquely i am actually in a position to explain how these changes happened: scott was chosen to take over dave's part in the sketch the day of the show. they added mark walking on as "constable bobby" as a way to acknowledge dave's absence (and i was actually riffing with mark, kevin, and scott when they decided the character's name. in rehearsal, mark improvised a bit about his character going undercover as a teenager). but scott responding to kevin's "was it citizen kane?" with "yes"? bruce walking on as another officer? kevin kissing scott's forehead when scott apologized for forgetting his line? that was all truly improvised, and i was standing backstage watching it happen.
prior to the show, citizen kane was one of the sketches scott was the most nervous about since it's actually quite difficult to memorize: so much of the comedy relies on repetition and timing. i've probably watched the sketch more times in the past year than he has and even i wouldn't get it word-for-word. but once you're out there onstage, you can't beat yourself up over forgetting a line. you make that part of the gag, and suddenly the sketch becomes citizen kane on top of citizen kane: a sketch about someone forgetting something and ignoring their friend's corrections becomes about scott forgetting his lines and ignoring kevin's corrections.
there's no way the kids in the hall could've replicated everything about citizen kane on the evening of november 25th 2024: the sketch was at least 35 years old, it was being performed with minimal sets and costumes in a 1500-seat theater, and the person whose comedic voice it most represented wasn't around. but in my opinion, citizen kane 2.0 reflects exactly what a live version of a pre-existing kids in the hall sketch should be: using the well-known framework as a basis for improv while still being grounded to the important beats. this attitude carried over into the night's other sketches, even ones which didn't feature dave at all like "salty ham." it gives fans new and old something new to appreciate, and allows the KITH to focus on making each other laugh. after scott got off the stage, he wasn't upset for flubbing citizen kane. he was smiling ear-to-ear, whispering to me "i forgot how fun this was". i would take this over "tour of duty" any day
or maybe i'm just saying that because i now own 2024 citizen kane's prop-knife
oh, and don't think i've forgotten the one line that changed between my two scripts, both dated 06/03/89.
"that's a hayley mills vehicle, that's not even close"
and because of scott's role in the 2024 show, i now know that's the one line HE contributed, leading me to believe the "white" pages were just kevin and dave's writing, and the "pink" pages were after the input of the other KITH on the same day.
god, i love how things become full-circle.
...
PREVIOUS KIDS IN THE ARCHIVE EPISODES:
fool you dont like "that just happened" humor because you call it "cringe"
I dont like it because i believe when it is poorly executed it lessens the comedic intent of the first joke causing any comedy in the situation to be lost. i do want to clarify i use poorly executed here on purpose there are cases where this works. dont ask me to find any but they have to exist so.
Why some teens 'random' humor doesn't land
Something I have been working on is connecting with girlhood. I spent most of my childhood trying to get as far from being 'girly' as possible
My teen years were spent studying and avoiding makeup, shaving, anything. I had big boobs and curves so I covered them with loose t-shirts and sweats
But the important part for now is I loathed and hated girly, girls or any woman I perceived as attention seekers. I thought of a lot of girls as pick-me's
I hated other girls so badly that girls complaining about mental health issues annoyed me. I thought it was all a way to get attention instead of the actual cry for support that it is
So the girls often associated with the phrase "I am just so random" made me unbelievable enraged. I didn't think they were funny and I honestly thought they were dumb
Now I realize they are just kids still developing an understanding of humor. A lot of humor in current media or comedy sets is based on an unexpected outcome or something that is random or absurd, but is a natural progression of ideas
That's why pushing situations to the extreme can be funny
It's also why a lot of little kids say unhinged things that make no sense but they find it funny. To them they see us laughing at things that are absurd and figure that's what comedy is, but to kids they have no life reference and everything is absurd. So when they join in to joke they say things that make no sense
The issue these teens have is they don't understand that the delivery of these absurd things is often completely dry. The comedian or actor plays the bit completely straight. It's funny to see weird interruptions treated normally. It's why a lot of people like and find the Muppets funny. Everything is taken completely seriously
It's why Studio C is funny, they take a situation and push it to the extreme but everyone is treating the situation as normal
Teens don't understand that delivery, and the randomness being a progression of idea's is vital to it being funny
These teen's who focus on being unique and random are intelligent, they understand a base principle of a large amount of comedy. They just have a very youthful understanding of why that principle is funny
Mike Nichols told me a great story once. I don't know if it was apocryphal, but it sounds real. He said there were actors doing a play. And now it's after the show, and one of the actors says, "Oh my God. When I do that bit, when I put the glass down, the audience just goes crazy for that. They love that. They laugh." The other guy says, "What are you talking about? That's my laugh. I go, I sit down and I cross my legs and do a look. That's my laugh! The third guy says, "You're all wrong! It's when I turn and look, and look, and that's what gets the laugh." So they make an agreement. They says, look, we'll just do one thing a night and we'll see who gets a laugh. So the first guy does his bit with the glass - there's no laugh. Then the second guy does his bit, he sits down and crosses his legs - and there's no laugh. And the third guy, next night, does a take, you know - no laugh. And they're backstage, and they say, "Well, I don't know. I guess - I guess it's the whole thing." So they went back, did it all together, and never got the laugh again.
Steve Martin, quoting Nichols on analyzing comedy

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFANgWN2Ul0)