#coloursofmysoul

colours of my soul 

I just read this post on this amazing blog by Lena Toporikova and it's just so incredibly accurate to how I feel right now that I'm going to copy it as a whole because I you guys need to read this. I know that clicking a link is often too much effort, especially when you don't know what to find on the other side, that's the sole reason I'm copy-pasting it. But, just for the record, I didn't write this, but you can find the incredible person who did by clicking the header of this post, which is a link to her blog. (DO IT) Cheers.

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“Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.” Lamartine

There are some days when everything falls apart. When things go wrong. When nothing goes your way. When you want to cry but can’t. When you feel lost and alone.

There are days when you miss someone you love more than you  are used to, no matter if they are just a few or few thousand miles away.

Even having lots of good friends around on those “special” days won’t help you much. You are sure grateful to them for being there, because you know they are ready to do everything to make you feel better. But that’s exactly the case when EVERYTHING won’t be ENOUGH.

And they won’t be able to stop this desperation and frustration you are going through because they are not the reason for this.

And you will try to make yourself believe how much a good thing it is to have someone so special to miss and how nevertheless you are in their heart even if you are far away. And this thought is supposed to make you feel warm, but sometimes it just does not.

Sometimes you need more than just a thought. Sometimes you need to hear their voice. Sometimes you need to look into their eyes. Sometimes you need just to lean on them, to feel they are there…

Unfortunately sometimes it is not possible.

It is interesting that you might miss someone that much even if you just have seen each other in the morning, talked on phone a minute ago or finished your chat right now. Missing someone is never about how long it has been since you have seen them last. It also isn’t related to the amount of time you spent with them lately.

Somehow it is about this very moment. Right here and right now, when you are doing something and wish that they were right there with you. But they are not.

All you want is just to share some good news with them because it will be good news for them too. Or to share your troubles because that’s the way you can lessen your pain. Or to share smiles and laughter because you are so much used to having them around when you are happy. Or you just want them to dry your tears because only they can make those tears disappear. But most of all you just want them to be there. And you wonder if they understand what you feel, and how much you miss them. And you wonder if they miss you at all and how much. And you wonder if they are so close in your heart, then why this is not enough and why they seem to be so far away.

There are days when you miss someone so much that the entire world seems to be in darkness.

There are some days when everything falls apart. When things go wrong. When nothing goes your way. When you want to cry but can’t. When you feel lost and alone.

There are days when you miss someone you love more than you  are used to, no matter if they are just a few or few thousand miles away.