Chapter 2 Mercy
Colony Park
Chapter 2 “Mercy”
Michael and Sadie leaned over the floor in the mold scented basement of their decade long rental as they loaded the stacks of crisp bills into a large rucksack.
“What happens if someone tries to take this from us?”
“Why would someone know we had this money? You plannin’ on tellin’ someone?” Michael couldn’t help but pick on Sadie. After all she had been not only his wife, she had also been the only person he ever confided in.
“I’m not going to tell anyone but you.” Sadie returned the favor.
“Your not going to tell your mom?” Michael continued in his playful banter.
“Not even my mother.”
“Good, cause loose lips sink ships.”
Michael’s face became straighter as his eyebrows lowered back towards the bridge of his nose. “You do know that from here on out it may be a little different than the world you know. My intention is not to scare you, and I could be one thousand percent wrong, but if I am only 50 percent right, you need to hear what I am saying. I need you to take it in and store it deep in your mind.”
Michael paused as if he were trying to find the least alarming way to relay the information she needed. As he was rummaging through his mind trying to find the words, Sadie put her hand on his.
“It’s going to be okay Michael. I’m not scared, you can tell me.”
Michael looked into her green eyes that he had fallen in love with. “Everything can kill you from here on out. Every person we come across we will need to be concerned about. Every road we travel will need to be the least traveled to avoid any nomadic looters.”
Michael took a slow deep breath and looked over to the pantry they had already packed away into the trailer. “Food is a lifeline. With all the politicians gone we need to move fast. 60% of the population depends on food stamps to eat. 85% of people in our city specifically. We have half a trailer of food with Four lives that mean everything in the world to me.”
“Four lives? Oh, stop it!” Sadie tapped on Michael’s bicep.
“Well, it’s gonna take more than me to keep the 5th one alive. Sadie, I need you to take this.”
Michael reached to his waste and unstrapped his belt.
Michael began to help put the belt and holster onto Sadie.
“You need to take this, belt and all. Thank you for putting jeans on by the way. They look good on you.” Michael had that smirk again.
“Where is the safety?” Sadie asked as she recalled the previous rounds of live fire exercises Michael and her would practice relentlessly.
Always sure to remind her, “I am only as strong as my weakest link. If you don’t know how to shoot, I don’t know how to shoot. If you don’t know how to run a mile, I don’t know how to either.”
Michael pointed to the safety sticking just at the top of the holster, “It’s just below the back of the slide. See that switch right there.” Michael pointed to the safety sticking just at the top of the holster.
“What does red mean again?”
“Hot, hot, hot.”
“The weapon is always what?”
“Loaded, Loaded, Loaded.”
“Leave the weapon hot at all times, Your finger is the safety. Remember there are no accidents, there is only negligence. Do not let this out of your sight and always keep it on you. We’ll get your AR figured out when we get to the park.”
“Wait, you want me to be G.I. Jane?” Sadie couldn’t help but laugh at the idea.
“Well, if you want to watch me have no help trying to take on six guys by myself, lose and then you get raped to death in front of our kids, then be my guest and don’t carry anything.”
It took a second for the words to hit Michael’s ears. Those very words he spoke had already been processed by Sadie.
“You asshole, I’ll carry the gun.” Sadie scowled
“Thank you love.”
“Why are you laughing?”
Sadie looked over to Michael who was doing his best not to laugh. Doing his best to avoid a scorned wife. How could he though? Laughing is as normal as a breath is to the lung. As uncontrollable as the natural inclination to the breathing process itself.
Michael looked over to Sadie, “It’s not like you give me any better odds against the six.”
“Not funny Michael. I’ll shoot you after I kill all six of them myself.” Sadie yelled
“Oh Darlin, say it again. I ain’t never been so turned on.” Michael said to Sadie as he smacked her on the butt chasing her up the stairs and out the side door that was at the top of the steps.
Hey that ruck goes in the bed of the truck on your side. It’s waterproof, strap it down with those bungies. Let’s go through the check list.” Michael reached into the side pocket of the truck door pulling out a three-ring binder.
After a five-minute run through of the load plan, Michael and Sadie loaded into the truck and headed out to pick the boys up from Grammies.
“Can I ask you something?” Her eyes fixated out the window.
“yes.”
“Please tell me we have food.”
“We have enough for 3 years. Ain’t no one gonna starve, but the bad news is they are MRE’s.”
“Do you see those lines at that store over there?”
Two cop cars were parked at the entrance of the grocery store they would frequent. That same grocery store they would never go to again. Lines of cars aligned one right after the other waiting to enter the parking lot. Those hundreds of cars led to a serpentine line of people. Man, woman, and child.
“Those poor mothers.” Sadie said
“Darlin, life is going to be hard on everyone from here on out. Have faith my love. If not in God, then have faith in me.” Michael smiled at Sadie quickly glancing over at her.
“I want to know that the boys will be fed. We need to eat and some of those people in there were fighting already.”
“Yeah, I saw it too. Up by the door. I don’t know why those cops are even working today. You didn’t notice the gas stations, did you?” Michael signaled with his hand over to a fuel station.
“Out of fuel.” Sadie read the banner hanging over the sign where the fuel prices were usually displayed.
“That’s the fifth gas station with the same sign since we left the house. We ain’t been but Three miles. I can’t imagine the next three are gonna look any better. Do You have that gun I gave you?” Michael pointed at his firearm just below the ignition by his knee.
“Yes, I got mine.” Sadie answered as she pointed at the location of hers.
“Good. Do you remember everything we went over.”
“Yeah, I think.”
“You’ll be fine. Remember you need to be conscious of what’s behind the target. It could be me.” Michael said.
“Okay.”
“You are going to be fine Sadie. I know you are nervous. You are trained for this. In fact, trained by one of the best if I say so myself.” Michael pointed at himself as Sadie joined him in laughter.
“If anything happens stay loose and let your training kick in. We practiced holstering and you continue to practice. With all the drills we have ran through, You know more than your average enemy. Have faith in yourself the way I have faith in you and you will have no need to shake.” Michael pointed to Sadie’s hands.
“They are not shaking because I am scared for myself. They are shaking because I am scared for our boys.”
Michael smiled as he glanced again over to Sadie, “That’s because you’re a true patriot. Those people you saw on those videos. Those people looting and stealing. They took their pain and gave it to hate. They gave it to envy and selfishness. You on the other hand you took your most recent pain and gave it to empathy, compassion, and the thought of another.”
Michael took a second to think and continued, “The most Nobel of men are those who plant a tree knowing they will never enjoy it’s shade. You need to know that we will only be able to do so much. The best thing we can do is do our part to give them a head start. Make sure they get further than we did.”
“I know, you’re right.” Sadie put her head down in her hands and began crying.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Michael placed his hand onto her back and began to rub.
“I am so sorry my love. If it makes you feel any better, I am guessing as I go too. It is not necessarily the worst thing. In fact, I would say it’s really what we do any time we do anything at all. I mean, if we make a choice, it is our most current set of information that determines the outcome. And if that is the case than its always a guess because we never have the information that we would have after the event. If we did, I am sure that added information would be the only way for us to not guess our way through life.”
“You are such a nerd.” Sadie laughed as she began to wipe her tears from her eyes.
“Guess what” Michael said
“what”
“We’re here.”
“You ready?” Michael asked.
“Doesn’t matter my moms walking down the drive way right now.”
Sadie opened the door and walked over to meet her mother.
“Hello Sadie. Hello Michael” Fay coldly looked over to Michael
“Hello Fay. Thank you for watching the boys. You really did us a favor.”
“Don’t mention it. I love hanging out with my little ones.”
“Is Jason here?” Michael asked.
“Yeah, he’s inside on the couch again. Beers are in the fridge.” Fay signaled to the front door.
As Michael walked into the same house he had every holiday for the last 11 years it always brought the thought of how much different Sadie and him were. Sadie had been raised in this house from the time she was 5 years old until the day Michael stole Sadie’s heart from her dad.
Sadie’s mom and dad provided an upper middle-class lifestyle. There home surrounded by well off people in a more rural type of neighborhood when Sadie was a child. As she grew the neighborhoods became denser.
Michael grew up in a neighborhood as opposite to Sadie as night is to day. Any lifestyle provided by either of his parents would have been better than what they did provide. His father was absent and his mother remarried the first available man to help her out of her 4 kids and no prospect situation. No concern for anyone but herself she abandoned her kids unlike there father were she would disappear every day rather than one and done like him.
Sadie’s parents were unbroken. They were mended together by 50 years of trials and tribulations. A remarkable feat in Michaels eyes. No matter what their political differences were, Michael had a great deal of respect for not only Sadie’s parents, but Sadie’s entire family. They all did their jobs and that’s all Michael ever wanted from anyone.
Michael’s house was where-ever they had not been evicted already. His earliest memories after leaving their military home in Jacksonville, Florida were Battered women’s shelters throughout the city. His grandparents eventually picked him and his siblings up. They spent the next couple years in the home of there great grandparents while their mom figured out her situation. By time she had married, they were back in the home. Stable for a few years till she created a resentment with her new husband which led into his relationship with Michael and his siblings.
Neither Jason nor Faye knew this about Michael. Michael confided only in Sadie. She was his rock, his savior, His safe place. If Not for her he probably would have ended up like Jason’s brother after the war. A lonely, miserable drunk till the day he took his last sip.
“Hey Jason, how are you.” Michael called to Jason
“Hey Michael, good, how are you?”
“I’m good, I grabbed you a beer.” Michael said as he walked around the couch and handed it to Jason.
Michael already noticed what was on the T.V. and he was already preparing his evasive conversation.
“I didn’t want to pick up the kids without thanking you before we left to get to the new place.”
“Oh you don’t have to thank me. Faye did all the work. I was only here to be the jungle gym.” Jason responded with the same straight and narrow face he usually wore.
“Well, I hope they didn’t go too hard on you. They are getting so big now.”
“No problems here. Just make sure you guys bring them by every now and again. How far away is the trailer park you’re moving to.” Jason asked as he drew out the word trailer.
Michael ignored the location of the emphasis, “It’s not far, about 50 miles out. Once you get on 14 it’s smooth sailing for you.”
Michael wanted to give the impression that they need to come see them. The home they were moving from was about 6 miles from them now and they visited there home a total of 3 times in 8 years. Michael didn’t think it would be any more likely once they moved from a house to a trailer.
Michael did not want confrontation, so he added after the overly extensive delay for a response, “It really is a nice park. Not really what you would think of when you hear the word trailer park.”
“Yeah, what’s different about these tin cans from others?”
“They have land.”
“What is so important about land?”
“You can grow on it, have chickens, be somewhat sustainable. I have always envied your lot and I need to have more land than what we have now.” Michael could see himself about to defend his position, so he reluctantly withheld his next sentence that was going to lead to a horrible political fight.
“Why do you need land so bad that you are willing to take my daughter away from us again.”
Michael stood there for a second weighing his options in his mind. Michael’s temper was so bad he knew keeping his emotions under control would be the number one goal. He also knew that sometimes Sadie’s dad needed to get a horn. I can handle this Michael said to himself in his head.
“Sir, you know I love your daughter. I have not always been the man I need to be for her, but you don’t know the man she is with now. The man she was with before, that you rightfully dislike, died a long time ago. I know that I have created this gap in between us all those years ago, and I can’t undo it. I can only break my back being a better man than I was yesterday. Your daughter will eventually have the man she deserves, and I hope to be that man.”
Michael, with water in his eyes, began to pad them dry with his shirt sleeve as he walked back out the front door.
“Ms. Faye, thank you again for watching the boys. I hope you and Jason can find some free time to come see us. If not we’ll see you guys at Christmas. Darlin, we gotta go, I really don’t want to unpack at night.”
Michael looked over to the boys, “Alright you little monsters, get in the car.”
Logan, Levi, and Lucas all piled up into the truck quickly searching through the controls of the DVD player.
Sadie and Faye said their goodbyes as her and Jason waved to us while standing on the porch as we backed down the driveway. Jason looking just as stone faced as Faye.
“Alright boys, new home we are bound.” Michael said to the boys in the back seat who were already deep into their movie playing on the DVD. Headphones drowning out mom and dad’s voice.
“Sadie, I don’t think they are gonna come see us.”
“Of course they will, don’t be silly. Why would you think they won’t come see us.”
“I tell you all the time, they don’t like the fact that I don’t show off like the rest of your family. They don’t realize that I have never had this much in my entire life. Perspective is everything and they don’t have any. They see nothing, and I see everything. I have a bed Sadie, if all I had were a bed with a frame rather than a sheet and a pillow tucked in the corner of a living room that would be all I ever need with materials.”
Sadie could see Michaels eyes tearing up.
“I wish you never walked into the garage that day.”
“You shut up right now Michael. Your boys need you. I need you. Need I remind you what you told me about your friend. It’s selfish to give your pain to everyone else.”
“I know, I know. I don’t know what I must do for them to forgive me. It was you that I hit not them.” Now the tears were beginning to drop from where they were building.
“I am so sorry Sadie. I never meant it. I have no excuse for what I did and it makes me want to die. Every time they show their hatred for me its like hitting you all over again.”
“Michael, you must stop, that was years ago. We did go through some stuff and what you did to me was wrong, but I already forgave you. You have came so far and I am not going to lie to you. When you told me you were gonna kill the old you, I thought once a hitter, always a hitter. You didn’t though. You stayed true to your word. It was the second promise you made to me and the first one I looked forward to.”
Michael whipped his eyes a little bit still avoiding eye contact, “What was the first promise?”
“You said you would never leave. Once you hit me, I feared that promise. It was the first thing that came to mind right after. I never saw you lie to anyone, and you had never lied to me. You have always been a man of your word.
She took a break to see if Michael was going to add more to the conversation. Once she saw he was content on silence she added, “You are 100% not the same person you were. If they don’t know that yet, well fuck them.” Her volume fell off as she finished the sentence.
“Your parents love you. They are right to be mad. Most day’s I think you’re wrong for staying with me.”
“I am not going anywhere. You are a good man who was going through something bad. Who still goes through your issues. You have grown, we have grown. You are a good father, and your boys love you so much.” Sadie continued to reassure him.
Michael looked back to Sadie and waited for her eyes to meet his, “I don’t deserve you. There has got to be a God and you are my angel.”
