#collegetime!

OOPS- My hand slipped and now I suddenly have a COLLEGE AU!!

I'm gonna post the rest of the smiling critters au designs in color order C:

Some extra's down below if ur interested in looking :>

Another doodle on my poppy playtime au

crap....i have my first morning class tomorrow. I should probably be asleep c____c OHWELLS!

if a family member/acquaintance asked me right now how college has been for me so far i'd respond with "it's been good" short and simple. And i wish it was that short and simple. And maybe it actually is and i'm just overdramatizing like i always do, but in this moment- for me- college is a smidge of a letdown. When i write these little girly thoughts, i write them in hopes that i'll look back on them many moons from now and laugh at how silly these troubles and struggles seemed to me. But as of now, i'm feeling the poop.  --quick summary/review--

my roomate is actually not that bad at all. In fact, he's neat and nice- the only two qualities i hoped for. He's loud and vibrant in his fashion choices, but when it comes to talking, he's just a nice kiddo. Oh, and he's not a 'kiddo'....he's at least a whole head taller than me :v So yes, you kids were right, i was the judgemental one, but i totally had a right to!

 in terms of campus and the school itself- i love it. brooklyn's a beautiful place and i can find myself living here for 4 more years without wanting to pull my hair out. I think it's the perfect distance/accessibility to the city so i stay focused but have enough freedom to do anything and everything. The campus doesn't feel that big anymore, but it's alright. It's beautiful with all its trees and sculptures and all. i mean... i'm in nyc, i don't think i'm allowed to complain xD

food is good. pricey and a rip-off, but very do-able. i approve.

Everything is set up so i could flourish and be happy and jolly and just enjoy my semi-dream school, but i'm just a globby social mess. And thats the most frusturating thing- the school, the people, and the enviroment aren't the problem- i am! I've never felt so......confused and misplaced in a place where everyone has the same interests as me. I feel like i just dissapear and am another useless copy. I didn't expect to shine or be unique in any sense, but i didn't imagine being blurred out to myself. HMMMM, how to explain. I don't care about being a special kid that everyone knows or any of that jazz- i just want to know where i belong in terms of ...........people. LOLOL i sound so derpy.

At one end of my mind, i'm telling myself- just be yourself and let the rest flow. But that hasn't really been working. I've found myself eating dinner by alone for the past 2 days and i'm totally find with that......it'd just be nice to ask my new friends without feeling like i'm a pests or a nag for asking them to join me.  --sidenote: In no way or form am i depressed from all of this! I actually have met lots of people and have had many good conversations! So no pity talks people!, i'm fine! this is just typical dramatic joseph thoughts and probably all just a big annoying phase--

And YES! Michelle, my very good friend, is here on Pratt with me, but i don't want to be michelle's sidekick. I don't wanna follow her wherever she goes/ vice versa. I don't want my friends to be an extension of her friends. I wanna find myself and find where i belong socially and all that jazz. And plus, i know Michelle isn't the one who could ever handle me being around like that. Our friendship would crumble and that would be much worse than finding a bunch of new friends. It's just a smidge hard when everyone here looks like they have it all figured out- the style, the mindset, the group of friends. AND THE KOREANS --sidenote: Not the be racist.....but these international korean students are MAD CLICKY. -- I've been reflecting on the ways i'm so used to making friends and talking to people and it just seems so....immature now. I'd basically spazz myself up and be a goofy child for a few minutes- Just enough so they'd think i'm weird, but not a creepy weird. But  i don't want to be that kid anymore. I don't want to fill this naive, quirky persona for another 4 years. Like this is my time to reinvent myself and find who i is. I'm not trying to become someone i'm not, but just grow up correctly! But what am i if i'm not everything i was? LOL-OH THESE LIFE QUESTIONS Q____Q Here's a corny crap quote from One Tree Hill that feels a few of the feels i feel:  {the words in '[name]' are different characters from the show talking}