#coldprey

31 Days of Horror, Day 2: Murder Under a Midnight Sun, or Something

Say you’re in your early twenties and your four friends want to go on a vacation. Do you go with them? Really, think about it for a moment—I’ll wait. Okay, did you decide that you would decline the offer because young people are usually murdered when they travel to the middle of nowhere together? If you answered yes, then congratulations; you’ll never be a victim in a slasher film. You could still be murdered in real life though. Be careful out there.

Two couples and a ginger loser take a trip to “Ominous Mountain” so they can ski in peace and, presumably, die together while they’re still young and happy—like most of us fail to do, sadly. The idiot one, who can really only be described as a sort of Norwegian Ron Weasley, takes a tumble on the slope and breaks his leg off, more or less. It’s late in the day, there is no phone reception and, of course, they need to find shelter for the night. It’s the only way they can predictably have predictable sex before settling in for a predictable late-evening impalement . Luckily, they find an abandoned hotel, which is always a safe bet, if you’re betting on being garroted, decapitated or chased around by an axe-wielding madman for a bit.

You know how the rest of this goes: There’s a faceless giant stalking them very slowly, four die, one survives. It’s very by-the-book, but still a bit enjoyable. It may only seem enjoyable because Norwegians speak such a cute language. It’s adorable and we should all learn to speak it.

In this film, you will see: