#coldau

There’s who Bill was waiting for, stalking up the stairs, entering the room -

He smirks, and turns towards his human. “Pine Tree, good to see ya. I was just thinking-” That if he’s going to embarrass Bill, Bill’s going to use everything he knows about his human in return. He’s seen more than a few moments, in memories, they’ve both got blackmail on each other, it should balance ou-

His human strides over and tugs him into an embrace, wrapping him tightly enough in his arms that Bill’s speech gets interrupted as the breath is pushed out of him.

Bill rests his hands on his pet’s sides, and the arms around him are tight as hell, one hand clutching the back of his shirt, bunching up the fabric. Pine Tree’s leaning into him, almost pushing him back, but not intentionally.

What the hell?

Shifting in place, Bill glances around the room. This is weird, he’s not trying to wrestle, or attack, just… clinging. There’s gotta be a reason.

“Huh. This is a new gambit on your part. Not sure what you’re after, but it’s not like it’s going to stop me,” Bill says slowly, tense. He stands where he is, wrapped in his pet’s arms for a while.

They stay like that for almost a solid minute - Pine Tree’s hand clenches and unclenches on his shirt, but he’s not trying much. Only standing there.

Bill’s starting to get annoyed. “This isn’t working, whatever you’re planning. Let go already.”

There’s something else going on here - this isn’t an attack, or even an interruption to Bill’s plan. Pine Tree’s doing- Bill looks at his human’s back, all he can see from this angle. He’s shuddering slightly, and the chin resting over his shoulder is digging in close - his mortal’s upset, immensely, and he was just-

Bill’s shoves his mortal away, and grabs him around the waist. Pine Tree stares at him, eyes red-rimmed and - shit, he’s just done something really fucking stupid again.

“What. Happened.” Bill growls, leaning in.

This idiot was just talking with his great uncle, and whatever happened there, it made Pine Tree upset - and there is a very small range of reasons that could be the case. He fucked up again, didn’t he, goddamnit. Knew this would happen! But now - shit, is Ford about to come after Bill? He’s not prepared!

“Did you just give the goddamned game away? Let Poindexter know, after all of this time? How incompetent are you?” Bill claps a hand to his forehead, groaning. How is his human so terrible? “How much does he know?”

Pine Tree says nothing, just steps over to the bed carefully, and sits down, looking blank.

He’s not acknowledging Bill, and that is not acceptable. “I can’t get this info from your uncle, kid, speak the hell up.” If Ford’s on his tail, then he needs to act, now, and fast. He’s not gonna let himself be trapped in a dead, immovable body.

No response. Bill shoves his human, he insults him, kicks him in the leg - and gets absolutely nothing.

Bill heaves a deep breath. Pine Tree’s got a thousand yard stare going, not giving him any attention, too upset - and if Bill wants to get any info out of him, he’s gotta calm him down.

He’s got a good way to do that! Works on most every mortal! Just make the face turn like this, smile like that - sincere as anything. Bill kneels a little in front of his human, and gently rests a hand on his mortal’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Bill says. Platitudes are always comforting, and he puts gentleness into his tone. “It’s going to be okay, I-”

Pine Tree shoves him, hard and suddenly, and the look on his face is one of complete, absolute rage. Bill tips back, falling on his butt on the floor, hands planted beside him and eye wide, startled.

That is the opposite of what he expected. Now his human’s not sad, he’s furious, looking at Bill like he’s something - he’s always hated Bill, that’s been obvious, but now it’s not hate, it’s more like disgust.

“Don’t you ever do that again,” growls his human, clenching his hands tight, taking in a slow breath.

Bill blinks.

That act got seen through in a hot second, not surprising, but this reaction - he’d expected his comfort to be accepted anyway, humans love that stuff!

Pine Tree keeps talking, glaring. “I told you. Don’t- don’t be reassuring. Not like that. It’s creepy. And coming from you it’s just wrong.”

Bill groans, leaning his head back a little. Right, the lies. Pine Tree hates ‘em.

He’s been caught out, accepts it with a shrug. “Well, I had to do something, you were too worked up to be of any use to me.” Bill sits up straighter, then pushes himself up off the ground to stand. “Spit it out already, I wanna know what happened.”

Pine Tree stands up quickly, moving in close - he gets right up in Bill’s face, glaring, tense with fury. “Oh, no. No, you don’t get to shrug that off,” Man, he’s angry. Bill looks at him, one eyebrow raising, impassive. Ooh, this is neat.

His human continues. “I’ve figured you out. I know what you are. That act is never going to work, and I want you to know it. Don’t try it again.”

“You really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bill smirks. “Rage is a good look on you, by the way,” he adds, cocking his head. The way it makes his human light up, and that restrained urge for violence - Yes. So nice. “Haven’t seen that in a while. Kinda missed it.”

His pet shuts his eyes, throws his hands in the air as if to say ‘goddamnit what am I dealing with’. He lets out a long, frustrated noise, and Bill watches with amusement - until his human looks at him again, staring at him, penetratingly.

“You’re wrong. I know. I’ve known ever since that stupid trip into town, to deal with that stupid curse-” His human says, moving in - Bill leans back a little - whatever Pine Tree thinks he knows, he’s really certain about it, and Bill’s aware his pet’s not stupid - “And you know what? I don’t care.”

Bill, for once, doesn’t have a reply. He darts his eye around, something’s going on here-

There’s a sudden poke on his eyepatch, and Bill turns his gaze back to his furious human.  “So what, you’re some- incomprehensible weird thing stuck in a, a meatsack,” He’s looking at him with certainty, he knows Bill’s nowhere near this shape, this is going to-

Pine Tree continues. “I still don’t care. Don’t pretend you’re something you’re not. Not to me.” He heaves a sigh, the fury fading from him. “Just-” He shrugs, taking a second.

What? He can’t actually-

“I hate you,” Pine Tree says, finally, sounding exhausted, and looking at him closely. His hand drops to Bill’s chest, his gaze draws over him tiredly. “I hate that act of yours the most, though. I like the real Bill.”

What.

Pine Tree’s eyes widen - he’s embarrassed, he looks away -“…and you’re awful.” He adds, almost as an afterthought, yanking his hand away.

Bill stares for a second.

Then he slaps a hand over his face, drawing it down slowly. “How. Do you keep. Finding things out.” He waves his hands at his human, suddenly angry. He struggles for words. “You-”

He figured that out, fine, Bill did mention he didn’t look like this, but Pine Tree seems to know exactly how far away it is from the real thing - how close did he get? Bill swears if he hears that joke about him ‘having an angle’ for the seven billionth time he’s shoving Pine Tree off a cliff -

Shit, more than that, he’s known that long? Bill didn’t notice! Nobody keeps secrets from Bill, except for this bastard, apparently, and he really wishes that wasn’t so interesting, and hell - he’s just realized -

He splutters, flails at his human incredulously. “And then- that was before-”

Before they ever fucked, and way before at that! Every single time they’ve done it, Pine Tree has known he wasn’t doing anything near a human. His pet didn’t just do it grudgingly, either, he loved it. He lept into it, he even started it.

Bill’s confused, he’s gotta admit- “And then you-” Pine Tree can’t really not care- They’re so-

But now his human’s almost smiling. He really did know, all this time, and he’s only amused by Bill’s reaction. He knows exactly what Bill’s like, and he doesn’t care how wrong it is, by human standards.

He genuinely doesn’t care if Bill’s not some hot human guy, he would barely be into some hot human guy! That’s not what he likes, he likes a challenge, someone smart, who can tangle with him. And Pine Tree doesn’t want Bill to be nice, he doesn’t want something fake, or for Bill to pretend to be someone else. When it’s not Bill, not the real deal, the real demon, he’s offended, even disgusted.

He likes Bill.  It’s not because he agrees with him, he sure as fuck doesn’t worship him, in a lotta ways he hates him, but. 

It’s pure insanity, this guy knows who he is, and what he is -

And Pine Tree wants him anyway.

Bill screws his face up in discomfort.

Something has gone very, very wrong inside this body.

That throbbing in his chest- urgh, it’s never hit so hard before, Bill clutches at it - it’s not painful but it’s- why won’t it stop? It’s a thudding, unceasing, and weird as hell. He doubles over, grimacing.

“Oh chaos, is this what being sick feels like? I think this is what being sick feels like.” It keeps happening, it’s horrible. Bill makes a disgusted face -

He’s still leaned over, but he glances up at this worthless, pathetic human. “Pretty good metaphor, really,” He says, even as this relentless thing keeps up - “ You’re like some awful infection.”

This guy dragged Bill into this situation, he’s done something to him, and it’s just grown worse over time, happening more and more often, like a spreading, gangrenous wound. The hell is this even? Bill’s hand clenches harder on his shirt - and he freezes for an instant.

This body’s illusionary, it’s only a representation of himself, it’s magic. It shouldn’t work this way! There shouldn’t be anything there! Bill’s seen enough of ‘em removed, he knows exactly what’s acting up, he just doesn’t know why it’s manifesting.

There aren’t any reasons that this would-

This-

No.

Hell no.

No, no, and fuck no.

Bill refuses to -

He fights it, tensing up, but it’s happening anyway, it won’t stop. That’s not how this dumbass form functions, it’s supposed to show him, Bill can’t make it stop. He looks up slowly, full of anger, staring at the extremely dumb face of his human - it’s confused, and a little upset -

And he hates his human, he wants to kill him, he wants to kiss him, he wants him never to die, and also be dead forever - This jerk is poisonous, and Bill didn’t see it until it was too late.

Small wonder he was able to pull off those spells. Pine Tree is a curse, and he is a trap, one entirely too compatible with Bill. His human’s a perfect storm of awful.

He’s going to get him for this.

“You…” Bill says, slow, quietly furious. Everything is this horrible, incompetent, interesting idiot’s fault, and he’s fucked him up, badly, worse than anything ever has - “Are the single worst thing that has ever happened to me. And I don’t say that lightly, you got no idea how old I am.“

Pine Tree had been starting to smile, but now his face falls.

He stalks away, drops down on the bed facefirst, and pulls a pillow over the back of his head. Bill glares at him.

Fuck this kid. Let him be miserable as Bill is, with this new thing he knows. He taps a foot on the floor. “Alright, back to business, what’s the deal?”

Gotta handle that, first, then - it probably won’t kill this body if he does a little self-surgery, if he’s careful. Might not work, but it’s worth a shot. Unless the damn thing just grows back.

….Still not getting a response. Bill hates it when Pine Tree won’t talk, it reminds him of- Nevermind.

Bill walks over, and pushes his mortal a bit. “Stop looking like that.”

Nope. Nothing. The kid’s chest heaves, once, but he masters himself fast, pulling the pillow harder over the back of his head.

“I said,” Bill says again, more forcefully. “Stop looking like that. It’s bugging me.” He pauses, but still - “I demand you stop-” Pine Tree never gives into demands -

“Nah, that won’t work, never works.” Bill murmurs, and starts pacing the room. Gotta take initiative, he’s got no idea how much time ‘til the uncle comes back.

He takes a second - then sits down next to his mortal, and pulls away the pillow. Pine Tree barely resists, his arms drop - crap, that’s disappointing. Where’s the fight in him? Just gotta bring some of that out, and he’ll be shipshape again.

Another push. “Hey. Get up. We’re not done here,” Bill waits a moment, but no, he’s being too easy - he shoves, hard, and when the mortal just lets himself be shifted over a few inches, he feels his expression sour. “C’mon, at least struggle a little. You’re always up for that.” It’s one of the more fun things about him!

Bill gives his pet another push - lets out a disgusted noise, there’s nothing coming from this tactic - then he takes a deep breath, and leans back to think.

What… do mortals do for this? Never paid much attention to it. Bill’s never cared about the aftermath of what he’s done, except to admire the suffering, until it got boring.

No lies, Pine Tree’ll see through those. And if he said that things’re gonna be fine, that would be one of the biggest fibs he’s ever told. Fuck knows this guy gets into trouble. He’s only gonna get into more, somehow.

Bill knows what mortals like! But he can’t use just anything. If he tried normal human stuff, it’d seem like he was pulling something, Pine Tree’d only clam up even harder. Bill doesn’t have a plot going, not just this sec - he’s got a different problem to handle - but yeah, usually he does. Kid’s right to be paranoid. Bill can’t pretend he’s nice, either, he’s not and Pine Tree knows it -

Ha! Right! Pine Tree needs Bill to be himself, because he likes it, he’s a freak!

….What does Bill do for this.