#cod vaqueros

Now you sit in your own silence, listening to the crickets and the animals in the back occasionally make noises. Your dog, Chatan, lay at your feet as you waited.

You didn't know if you should be feeling angry or upset. You were a little sad that you were used to your husband not showing up on time. Of course, that's something you didn't want to despise. Alejandro takes care of you, your children, his parents, YOUR parents. He takes care of the house, the cars, the bills.

He takes care of you. But you miss him. It's not like you didn't know what you were getting into.

Honestly, when he first started dating you it was like he just needed to be near you.

Every day he would try to see you. The days Alejandro Vargas was out being the commander, you tried your best to not let it bother you.

But today was supposed to be different. It wasn't a wedding anniversary or a birthday, but you were promised a night to yourselves. And everything was just going so horribly wrong.

Your sister couldn't watch the kids anymore, your parents were visiting family elsewhere, and your in-laws had their own handful with the other grandchildren. You felt terrible to even ask for their help so you just thought you could spend the night with your kids and your husband.

That didn't sound too bad anyway. But then he called.

"Perdon mi amor, it looks like I won't be home until tomorrow."

"Oh..."

You couldn't tell obviously, but he winced at your broken tone.

"I know, mi vida, I promise I'll make this up to you."

You nodded your head before breathing out an 'okay' and hanging up before he could say anything.

You felt terrible for your reaction but you couldn't help yourself. It wasn't like you weren't used to this but you wish you could go back in time and feel the romance you felt when the two of you were dating.

How he would dance with you, kiss you, hold you...love you. God you miss the nights he would show you just how much he loved you, those nights you didn't have to worry about responsibilities and could just go at it until the sun came up.

Fuck.

Damn it all.

You tried to keep your composure making dinner that night, explaining to your eldest that his father would be home in the morning.

You smiled when he wrapped his arms around your torso as you plated his food for him.

"I know you get sad when he's not home, mama. I do too."

You're thoughts get cut off when Chatan's head perks up. You still to hear if anything in the area changed, but then you pick it up.

A truck.

His truck, maybe.

You refrain from jumping up in excitement, not wanting to get your hopes up as a set of headlights pop from the left side of the field.

No. If he tries to woo you, you won't let him slide so easily.

'Turn.' you think. 'Please turn.'

Just when the truck passes you feel your heart sink and something brewing inside of you before the truck slows to a stop and a figure walks out. The familiar whistle you heard every morning, and every night, from Alejandro to call for your animals reaches your ears.

You see the silhouettes of the horses trot over to him, hearing him cooing and talking to them.

He's probably checking if they're fed.

As if he's satisfied with what he sees, he hops back into his truck and drives into the entryway of your house. You step to the pillar of the stairs, watching him intently as Chatan gets up and lets out a bark.

Alejandro shushes him with a quick, "Cállate." [shut up]

The dog obeys as he sits with his tail wagging, waiting for him to come and greet the two of you. The big pup receives a pat on the head before Ale's eyes reach yours.

"Ay, mi vida." [my life] He sighs sadly. "I'm sorry for not coming home I-"

Like a band that snaps in two, you feel the calmness and relaxation wash away and get replaced with pure sadness and resentment.

"'I'm sorry'?!" You hiss. "You think 'I'm sorry' is going to cut it?"

The commander expected this. Actually, he expected it a long time ago. Maybe around the second time he couldn't come home to fulfill his promise of taking you out, of dancing, of treating you like he promised he would.

This was maybe the fourth.

Yeah. He expected this.

"I know...I-"

"'I know' he says." You turn and march to the front door, stomping inside and ripping a plate out of the fridge.

"Here's your fucking dinner-"

"Ay (Y/n) the kids are asleep-"

"yes!" You agree, a tone of sarcasm dripping from your fiend excitement. "Yes. They are asleep. They've been asleep since nine o'clock."

You turn your head to the microwave with the time in glowing green numbers. "It's now midnight. You're three hours late to wishing them a good night."

Rolling your eyes you tear off the plastic cling wrap on the top of his plate, crumbling it up and throwing it in the garbage next to the sink.

"Honestly, I don't know why you make these stupid promises if you're not going to keep them-"

"I thought I wasn't going to make it so I didn't want to waste your time!"

Alejandro is following you everywhere you walk, a hurt in voice.

"Mi amor, please believe me." [my love] He reaches out to stop you from walking but when you turn to respond, his hand grips your side and he takes the chance to yank you to him. "Please, I'm sorry. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it-"

You scoff, forcfully pushing back. "I know you're sorry." You snap. "I know. You're always so sorry for not coming home. For not being here. That isn't..."

Finally, you stop and think about what your yelling about. "That isn't why I’m mad.”

There’s a solid minute of silence as Alejandro stares. It makes you flush with embarrassment.

“Entonces?” [well then?] He asks. “What have I done to make you this way, amor?” [love]

You feel the tears well, and he huffs out, “ven.” [come]

He wraps you in his arms, pulling your head to his chest. “I’m so sorry, (y/n). I know…” he closes his eyes in frustration. “I know this isn’t the first time I let my work take over my life like this pero it’s for your protection.” [pero - but]

Alejandro cups your face, lifting your face to his own. “Your protection. And theirs too.” He nods his head to the side, where the boys’ room are.

“Ale.” You sniff. “That’s not why I’m upset.”

He frowns. “Then what is it? Tell me.”

You wipe at your cheeks and pull away, walking to your room with your husband in tow. “I just…I just want thinks to go back to how they used to be.”

Seeing Alejandro’s frown has you frustrated with yourself. “God why is it so hard to describe these things!"

You sit on the bed, brushing your hair to the side. "I just...I miss you."

Alejandro sits next to you as he pulls you into an embrace. Your sigh of relief doesn't go unnoticed by him, and his guilt only builds.

"I miss you. When we were younger. Before the boys and before you married me..." You almost sob at the last few words. "If I had known that if we gotten married things would die so easily-"

"Amor-"

"You can't tell me I'm wrong!" You cry. Pushing away, you open a floodgate of emotion and borderline hysterics. "I know this seems like nothing to you. You take care of us, you pay everything for us, you help the boys with whatever- my parents with whatever. I will forever be grateful for that, Alejandro.

But I just want you to hold me again. I want you to come home, be my husband, to be the same Alejandro I met in the plaza all those years ago. You're never here, for good reason yes, but...am I really not allowed to feel so alone?"

Alejandro sighs through his nose, taking your hand and kissing your ring finger. Your wedding ring still sparkling in the light of your bedroom, despite the situation.

"What I do, is for the better of this-"

"City-"

"No." He snaps. You're taken aback at his tone, and he immediately shows his remorse in his eyes. "I'm sorry. Just...let me speak. Por favor." [please]

The commander kneels before you while you stay on the side of the bed and he presses kisses to the back of your hands, your palms, your fingertips. "What I do is for the better of this city. Yes. I say it so often I'm sure you're annoyed."

It wasn't a lie. When he first started working, he would miss birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrations. You knew he didn't have an ordinary job, especially with the state Las Almas is in.

Your disappointment quickly swindled into annoyance and sometimes even anger.

So much so that you two would argue about it in the last of the night.

"I do all of this for you!"

"I've never asked you to!"

"Dios (y/n), you don't have to! This is how a husband- a father takes care of his family-"

"Oh yes, by not being here-"

"By protecting the ones I love!"

it was never a proud moment for either of you.

"Pero. Mira. Mirame por favor, mi vida." [But...look. Please look at me, my life.]

You didn't even notice your eyes were traveling down to your lap.

"I will forever, protect you. I will forever take care of you. I want to make Las Almas a safe place, and it's not just for you anymore. Pero los chiquios." [but the little ones] He nods his head towards the doorway, motioning towards the boys' room.

"I know things aren't the way things used to be. That's...truly my fault. Lo siento. But please don't be upset." [I'm sorry] Alejandro pleads. "Besame, mi corazon." [kiss me, my heart]

He begins to rise and presses his lips to yours. You were silently telling yourself if he tried that you wouldn't fall for it. But oh...he knew his way to your heart. His kisses were addicting. You could never get enough.

"This is the last time."

You blink at him in confusion.

"I promise. This is the last time."

Well, that's not something you expected out of him.

"Rodolfo is more than capable of taking over without me some days. I'll make it work, mi amor. Si?"

You sigh, sliding your hands to the sides of his face before pulling him to another kiss. And another. And another.

He growls into your mouth as he mutters, "Get comfortable, amor. I'll make up the lost time."

You're panting, lips hovering over his before he dives into your neck. You giggle at the tingling his mouth leaves behind before finally pulling back.

"I still made you your plate." You smile against his neck, being lifted bridal style.

"You ate already too then?"

You hum, shaking your head. "I wanted to wait for you..."

Alejandro huffs, shaking his head. "Pues, let's eat then."

"Together?"

"Together."

heh...thanks for reading <3