#cluelessintheusa

so like, i don’t have a Dan design yet cause I haven’t thought that far ahead yet, I really want to have a solid footing before i tackle the big guy

but basically, the origin story is different. instead of his family/friends dying, danny’s secret comes out to his parents. and they don’t handle it well at all. they jump to conclusions, stay in denial and freak out, causing danny to run away. he Nopes out of there before they can come to any understanding.

sam and tuck try to comfort him, but they end up saying the wrong things because it’s a stressful situation and they don’t know how to handle it (hell, adults wouldn’t know how to handle this, how can 14 year olds?) i think jazz offers the best help but ultimately let’s danny move in w/ vlad because of financial issues.

vlad is both overjoyed to take in danny, but... knowing how maddie and jack turned their back on their son stings, and his forlorn love breaks and he’s heartbroken and betrayed on danny’s behalf. it’s a mix of “she could never love me as what i am” and “ok so she’s actually not that cool of a person to abandon her son like that so actually Yikes” (again, danny left before they could properly talk things out)

“Match Twenty-Five: Cluelessintheusa versus d-o-t-s!  PHIGHT!”

Dots pulled a deck of Uno cards from her sleeve and began flinging them sharply at her opponent.  A few grazed Clueless’s arm, but she recovered quickly.

“Hey Dots, does the road work ahead?” Clueless asked before Dots could call back her deck of cards.

“Uh-“ she began to answer, but Clueless interrupted by pulling out a giant orange “ROAD WORK” sign from behind her back.

“Uh, I sure hope it does!” Clueless finished the vine, smacking Dots back against the far wall.

Danny laughed in spite of himself; good vine quotes were second in jokes only to cheesy puns.  A weak laugh came from the site of impact, too.

“Heh… good one, Clueless.”

“Oof.”  Tali blew her kazoo.  “Dots is unable to battle! Cluelessintheusa wins!”

Clueless clasped Dots’ hand and pulled her out of the rubble.  “Nice fighting out there.”

“And nice vining.”  Dots nodded.  Then she realized what Clueless had pressed into her hand while helping her up.  She smiled.

Happily. *grins* Thanks for this!

Wendy dragged him out to the clearing where Bill’s statue lay, half embedded in the ground, and said, “Listen.”

Soos listened, but the forest was completely quiet, so he told her as much.

Grim-faced, Wendy nodded and said, “Exactly.”

“Yo,” Bug said, poofing into the VIP box.

“Danny,” said one of the guards.

“Fenton,” said the other.

“Hmm, that’s enough of that,” said Bug as the first guard opened her mouth to continue. Then, they taped over the guards’ mouths to be on the safe side.

“Sorry, friends,” they said. “We don’t have time for that.”

“Time for what?” Tucker said.

“The less you know the better.”

“Wack,” said Danny and Tucker.

Bug cleared their throat. “Moving on. This is round fifteen of sixteen, which you would think means there’s only one left, but that isn’t true! Because time doesn’t exist and words only have the meanings we choose to assign them and nothing matters.”

Tucker blinked. “Well, I guess I’m putting you down for ‘big bummer’.” Tucker made some imaginary notes on his hand. Bug ignored him.

“In this corner, we have cluelessintheusa, who hails from the Far Frozen and is apparently winging it.”

Clueless waved from the arena, showing off the feathers taped to her arms.

“Oooh, a visual pun, that’s a nice one,” Tucker said.

“Aaaaand in the other corner, we have halfaqueen from the Acropolis of Athens and they are chugging some Dr. Pepper right now. Wow. Truly impressive.”

Halfaqueen gulped down the last of their soda and tossed the can away. They let out a long burp.

“Radical sabbatical! And, without further ado, fight!” Bug hit the gong.

Cluelessintheusa flapped her wings at halfaqueen, but all that happened was the feathers flew off. Halfqueen laughed low in their throat.

“Concede the match,” halfaqueen said, holding up their laser pointer, “or I will shine this directly into your eyes.”

“Weird flex, but ok,” Danny said.

“That’s never going to work,” Tucker said.

Cluelessintheusa gulped. After a long moment, she sighed. “I concede.”

“I stand corrected,” Tucker said.

Aaaah, thank you! That means so much. Thanks for doing this and letting me know!

OMW THIS IS FREAKING AMAZING