#clone gregor

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“It’s one of the little planets in the outer rim, not to worry, we will be back before you know it, hm?” he replied with a little half smile. You knew it was war, you knew he was a soldier, you knew it was necessary. You knew all this when you met him and that having any of these moments were a blessing. Still, you couldn’t help but feel your chest tighten with this pain and the fears settling in your belly about it. You didn’t know what it was, but the anguish was stronger than it had been before. You felt hot tears prick at your eyes, your chest tight as your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, and you sniffed, unable to hide the sadness you felt anymore. He pulled back suddenly and looked you over, his bourbon coloured eyes looking over your face as the first tear fell.

“Hey…” he began softly, a gentle hushed tone as he cupped your cheeks in his large warm hands. “Hey, it’s alright, butterfly, it’s gonna be alright. Don’t cry. We’ll find each other again,” he soothed, running one of his hands over your hair gently. “I’ll be back here to bother you before you can even miss me.” he chuckled.

“I think that’s impossible.” you mumbled in return.

“Well, cyare, I look forward to seeing that pretty smile you give me when we see each other again.” You nod and hold him a little longer, letting him shift you into his lap and hug you tight for a while longer.

“How long til you ship out?”

“I have to be back in the barracks in a few hours, we depart pretty early. Foxtrot and the 212th boys,” he grinned, “can’t go wrong with that team up!” You nod in response.

“Where did you say you were headed?” you ask, your head resting on his shoulder.

“Outer Rim, some planet called Sarrish.”

----

Sarrish. It was a word you cursed for months afterwards. A word that had burned itself to your heart and scarred it for life. You knew you would not be the same. The devastation, the loss. Just… not knowing. The representatives of the GAR hadn’t bothered to tell you, there was no letter… it wasn’t til weeks after you heard about the result of the battle that someone finally found you with answers. You’d been calling and calling the administrators for any information on your beloved Gregor but… they’d given you nothing. The clones were just property to them. It was when Marshall Commander Cody approached you one day, that you learned more. For a heartbeat you’d thought it was Gregor himself… but it wasn’t. Just his brother, one of millions. The scar on the left side of his face and the subtle differences in expression and posture was further proof that it wasn’t him.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, miss,” he began, explaining that he had only just realised you hadn’t been told. That he wasn’t supposed to be there, but Captain Gregor had mentioned a girl and he thought it only right to find you. Bless Commander Cody. He was a good man, and you knew it, despite the overwhelming misery that clawed its way through your body from the feet up. He’d held your hand when you broke down. Missing in action he said. Presumed dead. They had never found his body. They weren’t even going to have a funeral! You’d managed to hold it mostly together until the door closed, but you couldn’t keep in the scream of anguish that ripped itself from your lungs as you fell against the closed door. There was no way that Cody didn’t hear it.

The days after that were a blur. They blended into one another and you didn’t smile for at least two weeks after that visit. Days dragged into weeks, then into months and the deep despair and rotting black feeling in the pit of your stomach didn’t lessen, but you managed to work around it or push on in spite of the overwhelming ache you felt in your body. It wasn’t just your chest either. It hurt in your gut, your head, your heart, your arms and legs, this aching hollowed out feeling that didn’t seem to ease no matter how much you tried to warm yourself with clothes or food or idle conversation. It just… was missing that bright spark that gave your life colour. Everything just felt so cold and grey and miserable. You felt your heart clench every time you heard a Clone’s voice or saw one of his brothers in the holonet. You had to come to terms with it.. That things were different now… that he was… gone.

It was months later when you got another call. You hardly expected to hear from Commander Cody again. Why was he calling you?

“There’s been news.” he said bluntly as soon as you greeted him. A wave of emotion hit you in the chest. Things you had only just been getting over hit you again in full force. “Come down to the location I am sending you, I can’t say more, I’m afraid.” The call ended shortly after that, and the Commander had urged you to come down quickly. With no idea what they needed from you, you moved on almost autopilot, getting transport down to the coordinates you’d been sent. It was a medical facility, not one you’d been to before. There was a lot of confusion as to why you were there and the people in the front desk couldn’t give you any information, leaving you to wait for Commander Cody to return. It felt like ages until a Clone in familiar yellow and white plastoid approached.

“Good, you’re here, I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Miss,” he bowed his head in greeting, his words and steps rushed as he gestured for you to rise and follow him.

“Where are we going?” you ask urgently, having to nearly run to keep pace with his long strides. He said something you didn’t quite catch before he had a call on his commlink, speaking to a General, unable to answer your many questions. He led you down a busy hall and everyone working seemed to part instinctively for him as he led you to one of the rooms at the end of the hall. He paused at the door and his lips curved into a slight smile.

“I’ll give you a moment,” he nodded to the interior of the room and departed just as quickly as he’d arrived. Hesitantly, you stepped into the room and looked to the sole occupant of the bed before you. It was a clone, covered in bandages and medical wrapping. He sat up in the bed and seemed to be fiddling with a datapad. Your heart clenched as you looked him over, eyes wide. He looked up and you felt your lips part. You knew those eyes.

“Hey, butterfly,” he grinned weakly. Tears sprung to your own eyes as you had to cover your mouth to stifle the scream of sheer shock and relief that fought to burst from your lungs. He was alive. You nearly launched across the room into his arms only pulling back when you heard him gasp in pain.

“Sorry!” you hiss in a panic, “I’m so sorry… I… I thought you were-- they said you were--”

“No chance of that, cyare,” he giggled. A little whinny sound, high pitched and bubbly. You’d not heard that sound before but… it was kind of cute sounding. “I told you I would be back.” You held tight to him, making sure not to press against his injuries as he shuffled over for you to prop yourself on the edge of the medical cot. You rested your head on his shoulder, the tears flowing freely just as they had the night he’d left, sobbing hard against him. Though this time these tears were much happier. That warmth you had been missing, it was back, filling the hole in your heart and pushing away that hollow cold ache that had persisted since the day you’d heard the news. Eventually the wracking sobs slowed and settled, the emotion somewhat quelled.

“You lied to me…” you mumbled against his shoulder and he pulled back to look at you.

“What?”

“You lied,” you accused, face streaked with tears and a pout to your lips. “You said you’d be back before I could miss you…” you manage weakly, “but I did miss you.” He let out another of those little giggles.

“I missed you too.”