#clmn

I thought I was incapable of missing a person. From the past, people have been saying 'i miss you's' and I can't seem to say the word whole heartedly back as exactly as they want me to. I've been replying oddly, awkwardly, doubting, questioning if I really, truelly miss this person. But all I feel is emptiness, and I can't seem to say the words back because I don't want it to come out as nasty as it is. But still, I fail to do so. Just recently, I've been asking myself. How does it feel to miss something? How do you know that you miss the feeling? That you miss a person? How does it feel to say the words back without the distaste in your mouth that feels like you've been saying it as an obligatory response? I've never missed a person, the longing to be with them for always. The company that I could call my home. Going to a place where you feel completely as who you really are, without the pretends, without holding back all the feelings that you want to express, where you can rest yourself and stop wearing this mask. It was an equisite feeling that I long for, and now that it's given to me for only a limited time, that's where I learned how it feels to be missing something. You want to see them, even though you can't spend the whole damn time talking, just the feeling of having them beside you and knowing they're around is enough to feel safe. Is enough to be completely feel as if you are glowing from happiness. But everything must have come to an end, and now that you've realised it's not there anymore. Everything must be taken away, then it is time to miss. It is time to grieve and long for that lost company. That missing a person is not measured by the time you have spent together. It's the time that you have felt the connection even for the shortest time and it was taken to it's end. Missing is not always goodbye, sometimes it's just meant 'pause', I tell my self multiple times. Missing a person makes you find a way to see that person again because having them for one time is not entirely enough. It means they're one of your life lines.