“Consent relies upon the presumption that people will choose in their own self-interest, or at least in ways that does not fundamentally violate their humanity. As demonstrated in the case of adaptive preference, that is simply false. But there is an even deeper problem: consent precludes evaluation of the act ethically or politically (e.g., tying someone up and abusing her/him), and instead puts the “blame” for the rightness or wrongness of the act on the person suffering it (the person being abused). Defending ourselves is extremely difficult in the best of circumstances, as it is emotionally exhausting and the desire for social belonging often overrides basic self-protection: even, and perhaps especially, white males are subjected to sadistic hazing rituals in fraternities, sports teams, and the military. When women are taught that they are objects to be hurt and to be used, it becomes even more difficult. We should never put someone in a position of needing to demand respect from others; this puts the emotional, social, and moral burden on the person at the “receiving” end of potentially abusive or exploitative behavior, rather than on the perpetrator.”
