#circumsizedbagel

“Everyone is so easily offended these days! Not everything is offensive, you triggered snowflakes! Stop getting mad about stupid things!”

Random people:

Anti-sjws:

May I have your attention please? Will the real @circumsizedbagel please delete? I repeat, will the real @circumsizedbagel please delete?

We're gonna have a problem here...

You act like you've never seen a fucking meme before, jaw on the floor when Gabe Gundacker burst in the door, "Zendaya is Meechee" you heavily abhor, what happened to "face your fears with a sense of humor"?

You post conspiracy theories and greentext, and love Ben Shapiro, your gross superiority complex puts you at absolute zero, you're so fucking pissed off about Bowsette that I can understand why your thinking ain't clear, bro!

"Liberal Tumblr" makes memes you don't like, so you put up a game face and start up a fight with every single letter of the LGBTQA and get pissed at everything even remotely considered gay, like Beyoncé, Broadway, and Marvel which according to you is a fucking ANIME.

Sure you like some things like danganronpa the game, but all you do is complain that shipping gives you a migraine, as if someone put a gun to your head and forced you to read the fanart people drew of the white-haired guy you hate.

His name is Komaeda and speaking of names, you picked bagel because it's quirky; that's okay, but to turn around and say that you're allowed to be lighthearted and silly but others aren't allowed to be proud that they're gay???

I don't expect better though, from a stupid bitch, who listens to Alex Jones and is openly transphobic, and used to be active in the- furry community? Are you fucking kidding me? YOU USED TO BE A FURRY? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Alright, that's enough, I'm not gonna be mean, I'm a furry too so I'll compromise, let's convene. You're not an asshole because of that, or even for liking Rick & Morty... you're an asshole because you're a bigot. No rhyme, fuck you.

Steven Universe and Homestuck are not the filth of the internet. You are. So complain about ~heterophobia~ all you want, okay? You dug this hole. When I made this account to parody you it was all in fun until you literally threatened to fucking rip someone open with meat hooks and then desecrate their corpse for god's sake! Nobody fucking wants you here. LEAVE.

So I'm the fake bagel,

Yes, I'm the fake bagel,

The real bagel bitch is violent and unstable,

So won't the real bagel please delete?

Please delete?

Please delete?

Because I'm the fake bagel,

Yes, I'm the fake bagel,

The real bagel bitch is violent and unstable,

So won't @circumsizedbagel please delete?

Please delete?

Please delete?

...

or don't, see if I care.

and now we wait