#circuit-su

What do you know of Cybertronian martial arts? How do they differ from one another? You must have encountered more than a few unique styles and practitioners in your travels.

Dear Jet Judoka,

Ever since the first construction crane robot used its crane boom to deliberately knock over another robot eons ago, martial arts have been an integral part of our history.

You might assume that the warmongering Decepticons were the first to codify these disciplines of pugilism—and indeed, the brutality of their attacks and strategies gave them the edge at the outbreak of war. But the Autobots, who had lived as engineers and laborers, were able to disguise their training: every step, every turn of a wheel, every act of physical labor could be a secret technique, practiced thousands of times per cycle, until they had mastered the perfect move with which to surprise their adversaries.

Under Autobot schools of thought, there are two basic elements of physical combat: “Piston” and “Gear” motion. “Piston” is a direct, linear force: delivered by punches, rocket-powered fists, or other inbuilt ballistics. By contrast, “Gear” is a deflecting, rotational force: swiveling at the waist, or rolling, to create a “transmission” of the opponent’s energy into advantageous movement. In time, this framing came to influence Decepticon disciplines, until both groups were using the same terminology.

As the conflict between Autobot and Decepticon continued, fuelled by an escalating arms race to develop esoteric weaponry and enhancements, some chose to eschew ranged combat and instead specialize in martial arts based around stealth and melee. After sneaking into the enemy’s midst, a single warrior trained in this way could quickly dismantle those unprepared soldiers who relied more on their armament and abilities. Being a direct reaction to the highly technological mindset of both factions, it’s perhaps unsurprising that martial arts came to be spoken of using increasingly spiritual terms. Those trained in Circuit-Su turned inwards towards the personal energy of the spark, which practitioners of Metallikato would learned to channel through their weapons, striving to embody the “Ultimate Warrior” of legend. Meanwhile, followers of Yoketron’s Eightfold Path formed an understanding of self based on eight specifications: SPR-INT-SPD-END-RNK-CRG-FRB-SKL, each a separate aspect of Primus.

Other disciplines were influenced by offworld cultures. Crystalocution was developed by medics and structural engineers, after they observed the way Rock Lords would target their opponent’s fracture lines in hand-to-hand combat, and adapted the technique to focus on joints or brittle crystalline components in Cybertronians. The loose assortment of non-lethal forms commonly termed Diffusion, popular amongst the Autobots, are descended from a pacifist fighting style practiced amongst the Circle of Light.

Although these styles have been broadly recognised and adopted by countless fighters, it mustn’t be understated how deeply individualistic the martial arts can be: even within a single style, no two fighters are alike. An exceptional master may try to pass down their techniques, but the unique talent, ability, and perseverance of each student will inevitably transform these teachings into something new. Take, for example, the Turtler School.

Turtler lived as a hermit on an island, on Earth. Having felt undervalued by the Decepticons, he enjoyed the solitude this lifestyle afforded, living in peace from his Seacons. At some point in the distant future, a young simian Maximal arrived on a flying surfboard, wanting to learn martial arts in order to fight in the “Be(a)st Under The Heavens Tournament”. Turtler reluctantly took him on as a pupil, and over the course of several years, put him through a highly unorthodox training regimen. Some examples of the feats he had the Maximal perform included:

Climbing a mountain to catch a bird

Climbing a mountain again to catch a bird, but this time with Turtler strapped to his back in alt mode

Outrunning and outswimming Cybershark in a race

Painting Turtler's home (this one in particular was very unpopular with his student)

Dear Laconic Listener,

The Guardian of Space and Time must never succumb to boredom; I simply do not have the luxury of such a thing. At the scale of energies that I perceive and manipulate, there are a host of hyperdimensional creatures that might take advantage of such a mental state, and I must protect myself against them. For example, there are the dreaded meta-scraplets. Instead of drilling into a Cybertronian body, meta-scraplets devour resolve and willpower. Indeed, one of the early symptoms of a meta-scraplet infection is listlessness and excessive boredom, which they intensify through their feeding. Safeguard and I scan each other for them frequently—better safe than sorry.

Of course, even my spirits need recharging from time to time, and I do have a few tried-and-true pick-me-ups. Music has helped me through rougher times—I visit a music "Dis-chord" for inspirational anthems, where Safeguard swaps tracks with a Recordicon named Mixtape, and we discuss which of us has better taste in music. I try to spend periods of idleness in meditation—the techniques I employ have their roots in Circuit-Su—but sometimes I forget I'm meditating and doze off into a sleep cycle, which is its own problem! How do I know if I'm dreaming or just unconsciously transported to another universe?