#cindertalk

Specifically, I'm talking about word and speech patterns. For me and several other people I know, when I am close with someone, I intake the things they say and make them a part of my vocabulary. Isn't that nice to know? That there is a forever inside joke between people you once knew and the ones you know now?

When I was a sophomore in high school, I knew these two girls, one a senior and one a junior. Now I am friends with said senior post high school, but at the time, I and her did not talk. But i adored the junior, who was best friends with the senior. Not in any sort of weird crush way but more like the friend crush, they are so cool type of thing- but the junior had a habit of saying "so true" in response to very serious or silly things with no remorse or impulse control before backtracking when they realized it wasn't appropriate- they told me that they started doing it because of the senior. And then even now, years later, I myself saying "so true" like a parrot who's repeating the words of an owner no more, but remembers all the same.

When I was even younger, a baby freshman, I was (to my undying embarassment) not only a wattpad enjoyer but a wattpad role player. If you don't know what that is- close your eyes and let yourself remain innocent young one. There was this one person I roleplayed with in particular @imsososolesbian that had a fixation on the oxford comma- that's right I wasn't born with the comma affliction- and after talking to them (with the // of real conversation before we immediately decided we'd rather just talk to each other than play pretend) I noticed that I had developed this habit of using the comma far far too much (the disease unfortunately is uncurable and set for life) because the speech pattern worked on me through text rather than talk. Me and that person don't talk anymore and that's really sad sometimes, but I like to think that maybe I gave them something back, like my tendency to leave auto cap on so all my texts start with a capital unless I'm on my computer. We pass each other like ships, and I try to check in, and they do the same, but we aren't quite as close as before. That's okay.

Also in Freshman year I became friends with a group of kids on my bus (it ends in tragedy and the familiar ridiculous high school drama) and this one girl in the group who was my age and shared chemistry with would spell out LOL with her hands and say the letters individually- to be ironic it occurs to me now, but back then I just thought it was funny. At first, when I adapted it into my vocabulary, I did it the same, but I found that my brain did not like moving my hand along with it, and so I just spelled it. LOL and LMAO were and still are my big offenders because I was not doing it to be ironic. That girl literally altered my brain chemistry, and I can not think of it another way. Because the things we take from others are changed in our care, but that doesn't make it any less shared.

Hearing Mariah Carey, who i actually did not care about before we had this tiff about her last Halloween, makes me think of @bee-nutauthor . Because it doesn't always spread the way i expect, the song, the name, the words themselves make me think of my friend. I don't look at art anymore and just think in legible thoughts, I eat art, I eat your praise, I bark at things I like a lot, I use abomination words that do not exist, I am extremely familiar with pompompurin because @dead-finch-420 a fixation, in fact Finch is my fixation spreader because theyre always dragging me into it. Isn't that nice too? To be thought of when someone enjoys media, to be remembered we long as that media exists and if not there in memory of it? Because the closer I am to someone, the worse it is. In all the other examples, I would describe the people I picked things up from as an acquaintance friend. Not particularly close, but close enough. When I see bugs, I first scream (loudly), and then I think, "Would Lemni like this?"When I watch horror or see the sky during the night, or view the snow as it falls, I think,"Would MJ like this?" I think and think and think and it's all because of these things, these words, the visions, and I see everyone I've ever known in everything there is to see.

In my Junior year I started to use the word "girl" and "girlie" because of a coworker that I grew very close to used it very very often on me, she also inflicted me with the "like" curse for its second round on my brain- it hasn't gone away since. We still talk because I can remember you when you're still here, which can be sad sometimes, but also comforting in a way. If I can remember you while you're here, I can remember you when you're gone.

@split-milk-7 Someone who I view to be my best friend has inflicted many vocabulary additions. We met on a re8 Miranda discord because Miranda lovers are so very rare, and we decided that of course we should be friends married and we are technically wife and spouse. But they had a particular fixation on using "bestie" to refer to me every other sentence. I am physically incapable of not using the word "bestie" in a sentence while talking aloud to people. I could not resist it. My brain decided it liked that word above all, and so here I am.

@h-doodles I was never someone who bit before I joined the meower server, filled with people who I consider to be my closest friends in the world - and I've never met a single one of them. I find that I like biting. I will think of them eternally as the meowers, for all our jokes will live in my head for years until I can no longer remember why I say these things, but I say them all the same. Because it's inevitable that you forget, but do they need to remember you for your words to live on? People will continue to say the things you said, and they may not know you gave that to them, but it will continue to spread the same way slang spreads eternally. It lives. @zeleneagle, I am not awake, I am an awaker. For some reason, I use :3 now. I bite because I love, and sometimes because angy, boi, floof, birb, borb, whatevah, music, movies, pictures, life, and death, it's everywhere.

To me, you are everywhere.

And I think that's beautiful in a way that I myself can not always appreciate, on the days when the world seems so dull and empty and unwelcoming and so not made for me. I think I should try and think of this when it gets like that, when my bed feels like the only place I can be safe. That the world is full of you and friends and love alongside the enemies and hate and sadness. And if the world is full of you, then doesn't that also mean it's full of me? That I might live on in others the same way you live on in me? That I made an impact on someone, however minor, that I mattered? That you mattered?

I wonder what I've given off to someone else to live on and be remembered for. I hope it wasn't something stupid like me saying people's names in a British accent and pronouncing it really wrong on purpose.

This really depends on what kind of work you're writing for me, and by that I mean like is it serious? Funny? Something in between and even then what kind of scene are you writing?

I LOVE the RL fandom we are so drama free fr and everyone is talented like let me steal your talent fr I cannot express my thoughts so

AKSKBAEKBARKBARKBARKBSRK

I'm so glad you asked!

Cinderday is a holiday of the Cinderverse (which was borne of an enlightening conversation about my many many nicknames), and while you would assume it to be my birthday, it's actually a random day of the year that I choose on a whim- therefore it's never the same day! Hence the consistent asks of whether or not today (used relatively) is the day of cinder!!!!