So let me tell you why I have the best friend ever, or why you should never mess with a couple of geniuses.
Some of you may be aware that there was a guy in my life a little while ago. I hesitate to call him a gentleman. Douchebag would be more considerate, or perhaps simply Dick. Yeah. Let's call him Dick.
He was nice enough, we had some things in common, and we spent a good week...exploring each other's various topography. Ok, so there was an afternoon spent making out in the elevators. Anyway.
It only lasted a week. And then he decided to piss off and say he had 'to focus on his studies' (ironically enough it was for a class that he dropped anyway and he never re-approached me after he dropped it.) But I digress.
After a fair amount of self examination, considerable 'what did I do wrong'-ing, I came to terms. I got over him. Doesn't mean what he did by me was right, and I finally accepted that (yes shut up I know how obstinate I am).
I'm in the Science and Math building, the SAM, working on the Cas painting I put up the other night, and guess who decides to take a seat next to me and do his homework? Two guesses and the first doesn't count.
I text my dear Evil Twin (who has a very low opinion of Dick) that this has occurred. She asks for his number and what he's wearing. I try and keep a straight face as I provide this info.
She sends him five words: 'The test came back positive.'
Cue him stretching his already meager brain cells and looking very perplexed. I watched his look go from confusion to exasperation to a touch of horror. I had to leave a few minutes later, but when I asked him what the matter was he didn't have a clue that he was taking the mickey.
And so, after his failed attempt(s, he tried to call her several times that day) to contact her, the story she fleshed out is that she was the girl 'before me' and she had genital herpes in her mouth. And she wanted to warn him.
I saw him a few times that day, always talking to girls, showing them his phone, and with a concerned expression. I'm assuming he had a considerable laundry list of women to get through before he discussed this with me. Says quite a bit about his character, including his selectivity.
I did not see him today, however, and I can only assume that he was at the doctors' getting tested.
So basically, even if he finds himself in the pique of health, he went around with the equivalent of a red 'A' on his chest talking to people about genital herpes for a day. You don't live down a reputation like that easily.
As the Evil Twin puts it, “It's the gift that keeps on giving.”
TL;DR: Don't mess with a pair of geniuses, karma can be given a nudge every once in a while, and My Friends Are Awesome.
And I have a legit excuse to get thoroughly pissed at him should he choose to speak to me. I can't decide whether to make fun of his intellect or his irresponsibility first. I am a pacifist, however I see no reason not to let a friend who enjoys pranks have their fun and indulge in a little schadenfreude.
