Contains: body image insecurities Ship: Patrick x Billy, aka kingrove Word Count: 682

They're lying comfortably on Patrick's new bed studying for Mr. Mathison's history exam when Billy shuts his textbook with a loud sigh. Patrick cocks a curious eyebrow at his boyfriend. "What's going in your head, babe?"

"Nothing." Billy always looks stunned whenever he gets called "babe." It's the same face he makes when Patrick kisses him. "I was just thinking, that's all."

"Don't be a stranger. Come back to Earth with the rest of us."

Billy squeezes out a choked wheeze. "You don't wanna hear my shit."

Patrick scoots closer to him with the ghost of a smile. "Wouldn't have asked if I didn't wanna hear it. I'm all ears."

Billy hesitates before he mutters, "Team weigh-ins are next week. It's no secret that living with you and your Aunt Rachel has gotten me all ... soft."

Patrick stays silent, listening intently. There's a definite truth to what he's hearing. Auntie Rae is a great cook, and with Billy now working as a taste tester at her girlfriend Cheryl's bakery, it's not exactly a surprise that Billy's sturdy frame has been pleasantly filling out little by little.

However, the way he says “soft” suggests that he doesn’t view these changes as a good thing. Patrick’s got to tread lightly here. 

“I’m gonna get cut from the team.” 

“Coach would be crazy to do that. You’re one of our best players.” “Not now that I’ll be huffing and puffing when I’m running around the court. I doubt my uniform fits anymore.” 

“You’re still in shape.”

“Round is a shape, isn’t it?” Billy grimaces, poking at his pudgy stomach. 

“I’ll still love you if Coach kicks you off the team.” Patrick tries again. 

Billy sends him a smile that doesn’t meet his somber eyes. 

So Patrick decides to be bolder.

He slips his hand under Billy’s turquoise sweater, and the other boy immediately tries to suck in. “I love you.”

Billy breathes out as Patrick’s hand rubs his chubby side. 

“And I love this.” 

“C’mon, seriously, you don’t have to-” 

"You've never looked more comfortable. More relaxed. This may sound stupid, but I'm happy I get the privilege of seeing you like this."

“A privilege, huh?”

“Yeah. So if eating makes you happy, then don’t stop.” “You don’t think I should cut back or anything?” 

“It doesn’t matter what I think.” 

Billy clears his throat and starts to tug nervously at his collar. 

“What I want is for you to keep being happy. And I really, really think... no, I know ... you’re beautiful.” To back up his words, Patrick begins to headbutt his way under his bashful boyfriend’s sweater. 

“There’s no space. It’s a little snug,” Billy says, bowing his head like it’s something he should be ashamed of. 

“Then why don’t I take it off?” 

“You won’t think it’s nice to look at.”

“It felt nice. Your tummy.” 

“That’s-that’s different!” 

“Your tummy’s gonna be beautiful."

“How do you know that?”

"'Cause it's the rule."

"What rule?"

“Humor me.” Patrick withdraws his hand from Billy’s stomach. For all his disdain towards it, the freckled boy whines at the loss of touch. “You don’t have to take it off if you don’t want to-”

“You can do it. I’ll just shut my eyes.” 

Patrick nods, rolling the sweater up until it rests under Billy’s padded chest. Billy stiffens, holding his hands over his eyes as Patrick admires his lovely, plump stomach. Tiger-like stripes decorate his sun-kissed skin. 

As if he’s reading Patrick’s mind, Billy mutters scornfully, “They’re stretch marks. I look-”

“Just as I thought. Beautiful."

And he kisses each and every one of those lovely marks until Billy stops sucking in.

"Quit squirming."

"I can't help it! Your mustache is tickling me. Damn you, Pat!" he laughs his terrible, perfect laugh, his ocean eyes lighting up more and more with every kiss.

When Auntie Rae comes in to tell them that supper’s ready, Patrick mouths that they’ll be in the dining room soon, just give them five more minutes. 

The World's A Little Brighter (Modern! AU)

Tw: mentioned and implied abuse, body insecurities, two dumb boys in love, Neil Hargrove(mentioned), cheesy pick up lines, anxiety

“It’s hot as a motherfucker,” Steve groans, stealing a glance at Billy, who still hasn’t taken off his Metallica hoodie, despite beads of sweat dripping from his damp tawny locks onto the black fabric. Only a mad man would wear that to the beach.

Come to think of it, Steve hasn’t seen him shirtless yet. Whether they’re making out in Steve’s bed or a broom closet, the lights are off and Billy’s clothes stay on. Some boyfriend Steve is. But are they boyfriends? They haven’t actually put a name on whatever they’re doing. All Steve knows is when he’s around Billy, the world’s a little brighter.

“S’ not so bad,” mutters Billy, putting down his makeshift fan.

“You’re gonna get a heatstroke,” Heather says, sounding very un-Heather-like.

Billy merely shrugs, and she bonks Steve over the head with her magazine before jogging over to try her newest pick-up line on a bemused Robin. He swears Heather and Billy were twins in another life. Or they co-wrote Notice Me, Bitch, a handbook for pulling your crushes pigtails until they’re aware of your existence.

Steve never needed the peacocking, though. He would rather eat rocks than admit it aloud, but Billy Hargrove stole his attention before that infamous mouth even uttered a word. Steve was a lucky bastard, getting to be the one to kiss those cherry lips. One taste would never satisfy Steve’s cravings. Billy was insatiable.

Right now, though, he was clearly in discomfort. Steve wasn’t all too good at the nonsexual aspects of relationships, but for Billy, it was worth a try.

“If I left a hickey in plain sight or… if it’s… Neil…”

Billy grinds his teeth. “He’s too smart to leave marks. Wasn’t you, either, Pretty Boy.”

At least he’s talking. Keep him talking. “Gnarly waves today, dude.”

A giggle escapes Billy before he claps a mortified hand over his mouth. Cute.

“That bad, huh?” Steve says, grinning.

“Was that your best, Harrington?”

“How dare you? I’m in my beginner’s stage!”

“Duolingo isn’t charging you for those lessons, I hope,” Billy jabs, loosening up a little.

“Ouch. You totally crushed my vibe. You’re harshing my mellow, dude. Not cool, man, not cool.”

Billy keels over laughing, slapping his thigh.

“A refund, then?” Steve jokes, poking his side.

Billy goes quiet, hugging his knees close.

Steve thinks he may know what’s going on. Still, it’s better to be sure. “Body Blues Day, Bills?”

Billy nods, sniffling. “I wanted to surf, but… I don’t look good.”

“Is this you or Neil talking?”

“I wish it was just him. The mirror tells me shitty things, and I know you said they’re lies, Stevie, I try to ignore them. W-when people stare at me, it makes it worse.”

“Did Neil say anything to you?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does!”

Billy jumps at his tone, and Steve takes a deep breath, in through his nose, out through his mouth like his therapist told him.

“Jesus, if I’m shitting on your summer with my crap feelings, no one’s holding you hostage. I’d hate to harsh your mellow, Harrington,” Billy sneers, looking away.

“I don’t think your feelings are crap,” Steve says, keeping his volume on the down low so as to not startle Billy further into his shell.

“Oh, spare me. You needed a rebound for Wheeler, is all. It’s not like we’re in love or anything-”

“And if one of us was, would that change anything?” Steve blurts before he can stuff a fist into his mouth.

“W-well, yeah I guess, but-”

“Then I do.”

“Huh?”

“I love you.”

Billy snorts loudly. “Maybe the heat’s getting to me. I’m hallucinating or some shit…”

“Bills. I. Love. You. Now please, let me take off your hoodie before the boy I love passes out.”

“You won’t like what you see, just a disclaimer,” Billy stubbornly insists.

“Can I be the one to make that determination?” Steve says, swallowing the extremely ill-timed I’ve jacked off thinking about this moment.

“Fine,” Billy spits, “Take it off.”

“Are you sure-”

“Today, Steve! Before I change my mind.”

Billy puts his arms up, stiff as a board as Steve slips the hoodie over his head, tossing it aside.

“Better? Why you wore black, babe, I’ll never-”

The sight before him is nothing short of heavenly; Billy’s hair a golden halo in the sunlight, thick tanned thighs that Steve knows are strong enough to crush a watermelon (and hopefully one day Steve’s head), a nice round tummy resting on those sinful thighs. Damn.

“Don’t ask me the color of anything,” Steve says, gaping shamelessly.

“My big, dumb belly kinda covers the outfit, I know,” Billy begins, starting to tremble. “‘S ugly, like I told you-”

“No, no, no, baby, your tummy’s not dumb or ugly!”

“You were staring. I look hideous, don’t I, Steve? Don’t-don’t lie!” Billy sobs, hugging himself tighter.

“Your swim trunks are red,” Steve says calmly. “They have surfboards on them.”

Billy nods, his breathing slowing a bit. He still won’t look at Steve, but it’s a start.

“They look really good on you, which isn’t a surprise because everything looks good on my boyfriend.”

Billy stops crying, oceanic eyes taking up his hopeful face.

“You-you called me your boyfriend.”

Oh no. Was this whole thing a mistake? Can he delete Billy’s memory of the last ten minutes?

“If you don’t want-”

“You’re an idiot, Steve,” Billy says fondly.

Steve smiles back, relieved.

“Yes, but I’m your idiot.”

“Yup.”

“I really do like your swim trunks.”

“Yeah?”

“They look better on my floor, though.”

Billy swats Steve’s chest, snickering. “The worst thing you’ve ever said to date, Harrington.”

“Back to surnames? That’s low, Hargrove.”

When their hyena laughs die down, Billy takes Steve’s hand and places it on his tummy. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asks, shy and uncertain.

Steve will just have to meet him halfway, then. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“Holloway!” Billy calls out, “Steve’s gonna be my ride, so you better find one of your own!”

“She’s riding with me, Blondie!” Robin hollers back.

“We just got here,” Steve whines. "What about surfing?"

Billy guides Steve's hand from his tummy to his crotch. “Your floor is real lonely, I hear.”

Steve’s never driven home faster.

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Neil never visited. Max came by as often as she could, even if just for ten minutes after school then home before she'd get berated for not being on time, Susan visited once with flowers, and Steve

Steve practically lived there, only leaving to go shower at home every other day, just to come straight back to sit next to his boyfriend

It seemed only natural that Billy would move in with Steve after, into his shitty little apartment downtown, not too far from Family Videos or the Arcade, or even the workshop, if Billy were to ever feel like getting a job someday, just something Steve mentioned off hand of course

How ideal it is for both of them to live together there

But Billy is still near constantly fatigued, it's getting better every day, just... At the slowest possible rate

He can't go jogging, can't go swimming or lifting weights, his muscle mass quickly diminishing, fat building up instead, reminding him of the worst of times from when he was a chubby little kid

And not to be shallow or single-minded, but the worst of it all is the effect it has had on his and Steve's sexlife

Just reblogged a boys with squishy stomachs meme and i started to make some tags and was like wait -- lemme not get all horny on this post ... i’ll take it to my own blog.

Post s3 where Billy’s recovering and physically able not to be as active because of injuries and finds comfort in food, gains some weight. Doesn’t feel too confident about how he looks now. His abs give way to a soft belly, one that squishes and prevent his jeans from months ago from closing at all, no matter how much he lies back on his bed, lifts his hips, tries to shift the weight around -- he can’t even get the top button done, let alone the zip. 

But the way Steve looks at him around Family Video -- his smile awkward, fingers clumsy on cassette shells, tripping over his words when he looks too long at Billy’s face and he says you look good. 

The way Steve starts to visit Billy at his little apartment -- his hands linger too long when they hug, fingers spread apart a bit over the fat that bulges a little at the waistband of Billy’s jeans. The way Steve helps Billy rub cocoa butter on the scars on Billy’s back, how his fingers drift and drift over Billy’s sides, pressing into soft skin -- the days fall away and then one day Steve’s got his hand on Billy’s stomach, rubbing, and his lips find Billy’s. His kisses taste like Snickers and a cigarette and god so much. 

You feel good, Steve will whisper when he’s got his hands on Billy’s stomach two weeks later, his face buried between Billy’s thighs, lips ghosting over the shaft of Billy’s dick. God you feel so good. 

Back a couple years ago when stranger things 3 came out I was obsessed with Billy Hargrove and I mean obsessed. I thought he looked so cool and it kickstarted a couple things for me. I started working out and growing my hair out, I started dressing more 80s (which was easy since I already kinda dressed in that style), and in the mean time I did get a lot better mentally too.

About a year ago I basically achieved my goal since I had started really skinny and my head had been shaved at the beginning. I had muscle, I had the mullet but I was oddly unsatisfied? It was around that time that I finally admitted to myself that I’m into feedism. Like. Really into it.

It was slow but. I’m up about 60lbs in the last year. I outgrew all my old jeans months ago. I bought a shirt a year or so ago that looks like the red one Billy wears and the other day I popped the middle button off. My belly fat has started to hang over my waistband a bit no matter what. My belt wore out on the loosest notch and one day the buckle just snapped off. I am undeniably chubby now if not just fat. It’s noticeable. And the most seen I’ve felt since I started gaining weight is that one fucking screen grab you edited of Billy. That’s just about my shape, but funnily enough the first time I saw it I was smaller than the first edit but. Now I’m somewhere between one and two. And the holidays are coming up

Oh, my gosh, this is literally one of the best things I’ve ever read 🥹 anon I am so so genuinely happy to hear about your journey, and I’m so proud of your self discoveries and weight gain! It thrills me that you’ve found my Billy screen edits and how you’ve attached to him like that and found yourself through him because it makes me feel not as silly myself projecting onto him!!