#patrick mckinney

It was all behind Jason's back, no doubt. I'm assuming here that Jason and Patrick met at church when they were younger, and that Patrick's dad is probably very careful about the image that Patrick portrays of his family to Jason and his preacher father. Meaning that he doesn't want anyone knowing about how things really work in his house; therefore putting pressure on Patrick to not talk to others about how he's treated at home. Patrick was probably punished regularly over saying things his dad was ashamed of doing.

Eddie has some experience with a less-than-stellar household, to put it lightly; he's not living with his uncle for no reason. So he can probably recognize the signs in Patrick. I imagine that Eddie sold Patrick some weed one day, and Patrick started chatting with him, and Eddie could see right through him. "You going home after this?" he asked, and the way Patrick sighed as he nodded gave the whole thing away. Patrick didn't want to go home. So Eddie bought him some time. "C'mon, sit down—you gotta know what this thing you're buying does, right? Gotta know if someone is showing up to practice high. Best way to find out is to try it yourself. Just once won't hurt, I promise."

And they sat and smoked some weed for the first of many times. Idly chatting about school, joking about a teacher or another; normal teen stuff. Nothing too deep. Just to give him some excuse to not go home so early. If his father asked, Patrick could just say he was helping someone study after school. Not specifically Eddie, though—it would be best for everyone if no one knew they were friendly.

It became sort of a routine for them; Eddie would wait around until practice was done, and then Patrick would meet up with him at the picnic table in the woods next to the school. They would smoke, joke around, sometimes Patrick would vent about the practice, the team, the coach. Eddie was a good listener in his own way; always quipping and commenting on what Patrick was saying, making fantasy references Patrick didn't understand, but usually encouraging him. Patrick, on the other hand, tried to actually help Eddie study more than once, under great protest. He didn't think Eddie was stupid (he clearly had read a LOT, given his vocabulary), Patrick just thought he was too much of a smart-ass for the teachers' liking. Eddie did homework with him a couple of times, though. Patrick thought that maybe he looked too dejected for Eddie to refuse.

Other times (whenever things got rougher with Patrick's dad), Eddie would take Patrick to his trailer, so they could try the drugs that Eddie wouldn't want to be caught with. They tried ketamine together for the first time sitting down on Eddie's bedroom floor. It was nice for a while, but when Eddie tried to touch Patrick's shoulder and Patrick actually winced in pain (he hurt it during practice the day before, but it wasn't all that bad earlier), they both realized that Special K was not the best pain suppressor. The trip was good, though; Eddie was great at describing nice, fantastical scenery to fuel their high. After that day, Eddie would always ask if Patrick was good that day before touching him (like pats on the back, grabbing his shoulder, those little soft slaps on the cheek); he did not want to end up causing him pain accidentally.

They both thought of their relationship as nice in a bittersweet way—Eddie wished he could help Patrick more than just numbing the pain, and Patrick wished he could help Eddie not be such a pariah in school, but they both knew it was all for naught. Eddie "The Freak" would never convince Patrick's dad of anything worthwhile, and Patrick would never change the minds of Jason, the preacher's son, or of the rest of his friends about Eddie.

Now, walk with me: what if Patrick went to Eddie's house after a party, kinda drunk, just wanting to get out from the pressure of being around his friends? And then he goes to Eddie's trailer, drinks a bit more with him, and they don't even smoke or use anything, it's just beer. And they are chatting, Eddie is making his jokes like he always does, and he's moving around and Patrick is just smiling, laughing, and having a good time. And at some point, Eddie sits next to Patrick on the couch, spreading his arms behind Patrick's shoulder, and he's just a little too close; but Patrick is not bothered enough to move. The heat of their bodies making contact is nice. Eddie turns to him with that beaming smile, like they are sharing an inside joke, and Patrick feels light and relaxed; unburdened, for a moment. He doesn't think before he moves—he just leans in and kisses Eddie.

It's tame, all things considered. Their lips slot together languidly, so close that Patrick can smell the weed underneath the beer on their breaths. He feels Eddie's arm close in around his shoulders, and he sees the opening to further push himself against Eddie. He feels warm.

But when they break apart, Patrick opens his eyes, sees Eddie looking at him with those big brown eyes full of confusion and reality dawns on him: he just kissed Eddie. Eddie's a boy. He can't do that.

So he gets up and runs away, stumbling out of Eddie's trailer and basically sprinting his way home. His face remains hot, the adrenaline of the situation pushing him forward and sobering him up. When he got home, his dad was there, waiting on him. And he started yelling about how Patrick smelled like beer and if he continued like that, he would never amount to anything. In his jumbled mess of feelings, Patrick talked back; said the wrong thing.