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I had some surgery recently that required general anaesthetic, and I wasn't particularly worried about it, but there is always a chance that something goes wrong and I suddenly found myself thinking about how if I died on the table, I would never know how my current book ended. And honestly, if that is what was going to be my big regret, then I think I'm living my life exactly how I want to be
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I dislocated my hip earlier while I was walking to the shop and I'm fine, but it hurts and I'm grumpy and I wanna shout into the void about it. *Grumbles incoherently*
I don't know if it's since I had covid, or if it's the impact of the pandemic on my mental and physical health, or if my chronic issues just worsened, or the golden trifecta of all of the above, but the last couple of years I'm just so much more tired.
I need significantly more sleep, smaller tasks are harder, and I am so exhausted all the time. I can't even imagine having the kind of work schedule, let alone life schedule that I had 2 years ago, and it makes me feel so sad for all the things I'm losing.
Lying on my side, chilling
Reach back to scratch my back
Shoulder falls out its socket
Have to stop my chilling to pop it back in
Why body. Why.
Why have I woken up feeling like I've dislocated three separate joints while I was asleep? Does this feel like appropriate joint like behaviour? *Grumbles a whole fucking bunch about it, but at least gets to think about the wolf in the breakfast nook*
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So I'm lying in bed and I'm avoiding going to sleep because my body has decided to try and dislocate everything I've got, and sleep dislocations are always the absolute worst. I'm just tired. I got two weeks this month where my body wasn't actively trying to shove all my joints out for something to do, and it's not enough and I am fucking tired.
