#chronically cautious

Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous

Shane knows that his alcoholism and other issues are bad for him but he doesn't know how to get out. He doesn't want this at all but it's like he's drowning. 34 is a hard age to realize that your entire life is fucked over. He doesn't know how to get better and every time he tries he fails. Shane questions how much he wants this. All of the issues he's had over the course of his life have built up and it's so difficult to deal with. He's chronically cautious because it's like anything he does will somehow come back to hurt him in the end. It's a never ending loop that he has been struggling to break for years but there is still some strange glimpse of hope for change to still come.

To keep it simple

I think I've been willingly following every impulse

overloaded serial stressor, i’m sitting nauseous