#chronalaccelerator

 Part. I Cruel Worlds

‘So this is it....’

There was the tapping of key’s as she deleted the portion of text that she meant to write as she curled her lip in, huffing a stray strand of hair from her face, and looking over to Emily who was sleeping soundly. Emily was curled in the sheets next to her, she was undisturbed, and in a clear place of peace. Oxton wanted so badly just to set the task aside and join her girlfriend in the same state of carefree sleep. Already too much of her time had been spent trying to form just one sentence to explain to the psychiatrist, the mad set of circumstance that was her life.  Turning her attention back to her now dimming tablet she attempted to type again. She would at least try to get her memories, feeling, or what have you down in the note for the doctor. This much she had promised to Emily, this was the very least she could do.

‘I don’t know where to start with this, so I will just get to the bloody point,’ she hesitated again deleting the text and reentering it. It was a disturbing advantage to having a means to accelerate time. She was starting to feel the itch to jump and least make the task a smidge fun for herself. She hesitated, if she was truly being honest the glitches, the Chronal Stasis, wasn’t the very reason she was seeking doctors care. With a friend like Winston she knew the matter could be squared away easy. However clever Winston was in keeping her tethered in this reality, it didn’t mean that all of the jumps, all the time spent in other places; all of that was starting to bleed through. There were some mornings she would stare into the mirror and expect to see the spectral visit of one of the other and many her’s. There were moments where she believed so firmly she had done something or seen something; when the reality was she hadn’t done or seen anything at all. During the testing period with the Chronal Accelerator, this was just a fact of life; that she need to question at times what her physical reality was and what was not. While she met many of her that were no different than she was now, others that were ridiculously different, or lived simple lives. While some were more driven than her, rough, emotional, and a variety of other adjectives that she was not. They all retained sweetness, a kindness in their ways, and a moral duty to do the right thing. Even if the lives they lived, the choices they made were minor, or vastly different.  All except one, there was one that had stayed with her, one she had tried to reason against, time, and time again she tried to explain this reality away. Being in that woman’s skin terrified her, inhabiting that reality was only all the more terrifying because she could only watch as a spectator in this woman’s mind as choices lead to bloodshed and relished in the defeat of those of Overwatch that were her family. The only thing that she and Lena shared was a name and a face.  This despite all the realities she had experience was the one she feared left a scar that hadn’t quiet disappeared.

Despite the fear within her, she was care free enough to let what happened to her in the Chronal stasis chamber simply be what it was. It wasn’t an activity she wanted to waste time on. Reflecting on the madness of dipping in and out of reality was pain she could easily put past her. Her life was happy, despite the chaos of the world around her; the current Omnic civil unrest for example. She could easily say that she was happy, that life at this moment was not the turmoil and unknown it had been.

She didn’t want to explain to anyone the nonsense; simple as that. She didn’t want to dig deep and explain to a complete stranger, much less Emily, what she questioned. That it was completely possible that the reality that she had ultimately ended up in, could possibly not even be her own. Furthermore that she suspected she might not even be who she was before the accident since who she was had bounced through a convoluted set of scientific breakthroughs that she couldn’t even explain, in simple plain English. Even when her dear friend Winston would check on her; she did not consider herself the type to lament, no if she was going to survive she needed to give him the facts. So the honesty tasked of these journal entries, was all too frustrating, and all too confessional.

‘I experienced a temporal displacement, where my life was the ultimate reality bending fuckery. blah blah sometimes I don’t know what is real and what is not. Lock me away gov and throw away the key.’

“Yes that is just about right,” She muttered under her breath, holding in an exasperated gasp as Emily stirred. She realized she had to be quieter; she had no wish to put Emily through the terror, than she had already been through recently. It was as if she could blinking in her sleep (It was what Winston referred to the Chronal Accelerators ability to jump her in an instant from one place to the next .) The few times this had happened it was something the two could laugh about. However the last had seen her transported to the top floor of the apartments; when she had finally awoke it was to Emily screaming as she plummeted toward the ground. The fear of falling was not something she had felt in years but the terror on Emily’s face, as tears streamed across the skin of her chin, and plummeted down with her. She was unable to grasp for Lena and in that instant it was a loss of control that felt psychotically blissful. She recalled and was back on the roof laughing as if she had played the most devious prank. Through all of this, this was never how she wanted to respond to something she knew had rattled her girlfriend to the core. In an a instant she apologized to Emily not sure and fearful of what had come over her. Though when the horrors of the night had finally ceased there was something Emily mentioned that still made her shudder. It was something in Oxton’s eye’s that she didn’t recognize, Lena was left with the fear that Emily had seen the woman she was afraid to become. After that night she swore she would do anything, no matter how mad to stop whatever this was that was happening to her. That she swore, she was unwilling to let Emily relive the horror of that night, so if it meant the aggravating task of journaling, she could find the will to sacrifice, and put in the effort to stop what was happening to her.

‘I have never spoken to anyone about the things I saw, jumping realities an such. I don’t know how one puts that into words. However since the issues with my Chronal Accelerator, I have had these memories, and these lives coming back to me. It is bloody horrifying. Some of them were whimsical and dreamlike and other were just too real. Maybe things are worse, since my brush with Doomfist. What am I saying I know they are worse. It was like the incident all over again and I was bouncing back and forth through time an reality. Look even I am embarrassed to put this in here but I know the psych types what all the bloody embarrassing details but when I was brought back from the edge it was like that rush of adrenaline when I was flying and the sex was well brilliant after all that madness. Yes I am typing that out the sex was amazing, so there have a laugh.’

She put down the tablet red in the face; she ran her hand through her hair that was already a frayed mess. She spun around her face slamming into the pillow, as Emily opened her eyes to a thoroughly embarrassed Lena. Emily only needed to see Lena was attempting shield her face, as her arm found a way to curl around Oxton and pulled her close. Lena’s eye’s glazing over to the sensation of Emily’s breast hard press to her back. The anxiety and frustration was easily melted away. Her only hope now that Emily would wake and things would progress beyond teasing.

“Hmm go to sleep, not good you being up and all, ”Lena knew she was tired because the woman’s hands more easily found their way up her night shirt. It was maddening that lilt in her voice; so innocent as she took Lena’s breasts in hand. Lena wasn’t at all about to fight being trapped like this. Moreover it just added to frustration because she knew Emily was soon to be out cold. She bit her lip and enjoyed the subconscious attention. She was about to relax and turn back to give the woman a kiss as her eyes widen. The scope of the room fracturing before her in a way her mind couldn’t grasp her, her body now at the mercy of flickering and morphing.  She was given no time at all to gain a hold over if this was real or not.

“No no no Emily!!” was all she could scream as a cold panic washed over her.

She could feel her chest heave, it was to late the panic was there to stay. Rapidly she started looking around just to see if the anchor was functioning but the room was a mixed vision.  Her hand was phased into another place, here eye’s were seeing two different bedrooms and her legs felt a variety of stretch and crushing. Some of the she knew and the unknown parts of it were indescribable pain as she felt like her body was be reformed and destroyed a million times over. However it suddenly started to settle as the room materialized into shapes and colors that made sense. She could finally breathe a sigh of relief her eye’s back to focus upon the sheets. This was a relief she was back in bed at the very least, the crisis had stalled itself. She could feel someone behind her and wondered if Emily had spent this panic keeping watch on her however a hand trailed down her shoulder that was completely unfamiliar.  The contact though alluring felt cold to the touch, a mischievous smile, and as she finally shifted her gaze back she realized it was a long captivating nude form was draped next to her. This form was anything but Emily’s.

“Oh and ‘ere I was enjoying the sight of you zleeping.” She gasped and nearly toppled out of bed the realities bending like glass fractures, realizing she had just blinked. She could hear the muffled voice of a panicked Emily, as if she was under water. Her body didn’t look her own ink marking her forearm, which she knew for a fact was not there before. Though there was no denying she knew the woman who was in her bed and she knew just exactly where she was.  She couldn’t catch her breath as the elegant woman stalked over toward her like she was prey and this was Oxton playing a game.

“How in the bloody hell-?!” her own voice was distorted her thoughts so overwhelming that her body fell limp. As her eye’s closed and consciousness drifted, all she could hear was Emily’s please for her to wake as she was again adrift walking through the edge of realities.