#christless

Merry Christless, Norma

the truth we avoid daily

this life without Christ.

.

Ragnar to Athelstan: Wherever you go, I will follow.

What Ivar meant: You're more beautiful than the lady you describe.

What Ivar said: But not a woman you can trust.

What Ivar meant: Can I trust you?

What Ivar said: A woman who drives men insane.

What Ivar meant: You drive me insane.

What Ivar said: She promises them her love.

What Ivar meant: You promised me your love.

What Ivar said: And her favors, but then she changes her mind, cheats on them, goes with someone else.

A short drabble in which Heahmund compares Ivar to Satan, projects his feelings into religion, and generally angsts up the place.

In this story there is mentions of self-harm, religious issues and subtle hints at homosexual feelings.

Takes place after S5E6 of Vikings, a little headcanon about Heahmund’s thoughts on joining up with Ivar.

Pairing is a pretty subtle Heahmund x Ivar (aka heavar/christless)

Genre is angsty religious drabble, and I’ve made it more of an internal dialogue so the setting is vague

He could not be tempted. This he was sure of. He would fight other heathens, he would spill their blood with the love and fury of God in his heart. They worshipped false gods, they worshipped the devil's work, they drowned in their ungodly satanic ways. He had heard of it, their lust for war and blood, their evil demonic rituals of blood and lust and greed and self indulgence. How could they be anything but the devil's work? How could they be anything but wicked? So the bishop would agree to fight against them, even while conspiring with one. No, not conspiring. That one would see his end by the hand of god too.... the cripple... the boy with the smile of the devil, blood dripping from his mouth, yet eyes of unbelievable blue. Even the whites were stained blue, as if stained by the sky and heavens themselves. No, the bishop was not fighting for him, of course not. For he was a heathen, and maybe even something much more sinister... much more evil.... He would simply show him the strength of god, make him FEAR the one true god, make him BELIEVE. If the blood-stained boy could see the strength of God perhaps he could be turned from his heathen ways, perhaps he would not have to meet his end after all . The bishop wondered if perhaps that is why he was sent here. To save this boy, to try to give him the message of God to save his soul and his people. Perhaps God would spare them, like the story of Nineveh and Jonah. Or perhaps they would be reduced to salt and ash like Sodom and Gomorrah. The bishop felt a tug in his chest at the thought of the boy being destroyed because of how he was raised. He remembered the boy's confession, his bitterness about being crippled, his soft sincere voice, the vulnerability in his eyes. Truly he could see that there was something behind that devilish brilliant smile and that sinfully delighted laughter. Something human. Or perhaps it was simply a devil's trick, an attempt to elicit sympathy from the man of God, to make him trust him. The boy certainly fit the description of the devil. That pretty face and those sky-stained eyes angelic in nature, but that blood stained smile and that ungodly laughter... a fallen angel... Lucifer. So beautiful yet so terrible. That explained why he was born crippled... cursed to crawl around on his belly like the serpent that tempted Adam and Eve. So why did the bishop feel so drawn to him? Why did he... enjoy the idea of fighting for him?.. No, only God sustained him, he needed no one else. He would prove it. He donned the knife given to him by the heathen boy, the knife he used to strike down one of the wicked, and removed his clothing. He would drain the sin from his body and pledge himself to god. One cut across the thigh, carving into the flesh, this flesh that was drawn to sin. He needed it not.. A stream of red as his thoughts turned to the heathen boy,  the respect for his intelligence. The blood from the wound turned to this sin, and drained from his body. Another cut, and he inhaled sharply through his nose, his eyes focused intensely on the ceiling, through the ceiling, as if he could see the heavens as they were. He thought of his moment of excitement at the thought of fighting alongside the boy, and the blood turned to his sin and drained from his body. A third cut as he thought of the enjoyment he felt while he slayed the heathen that taunted him. For a moment the satisfaction he felt as the blade entered the man's throat was not one of God. It was of selfish, petty vengeance. The blood once again turned to this sin, and drained from him. One more, much deeper, much longer cut across his thigh as he thought of his deepest sinful thought. The unholy appeal of the boy. Those angelic eyes matched with that devil's smile. The way his expression turned to one of innocence in moments of frailty. That desire to see more of that frailty. To see more of the boy's vulnerable side. As he let this sin drain from his body, the pain became greater, as he hissed through his teeth and forced his mouth shut to muffle the pained grunts. The blood slowly seeped from the cut, as if the sin itself was trying to stay in his body, before finally flowing off his leg. His body fell forward and he panted for air. He cried out for God to give him a sign, to show him he was not alone. The room was silent but he felt a warmth, a warmth that cradled him, and once again his thoughts were drawn to the boy. However, it was not a guilt-filled thought as usual. Instead it was a certainty, as the warmth tugged at his heart and warmed his soul. He realized now why he was here. He could save the devil child. Show him not the fury of God, but the love. This was a test. A test to see if the bishop could sway even the most fallen. He would not do it with fear and violence, but with love and warmth. If the boy could not be saved, then he would die. Even if the bishop cared for the boy as a human, even if it saddened him. He would not hesitate. He would be forced to strike. For he could not be tempted.

There are subtle references to Ezekiel chapter 28 and Isaiah chapter 12 in the bible, I tried to be as in character for Heahmund as possible, uh, tell me what you think? :P If you notice any grammatical errors or suggestions for better wording in any areas also that would be welcomed.

There you go @ladylannister95 I wrote it for ya since I can’t post on Ao3 yet ;)