#chrisgrayling

The former Minister for Cock-Up’s, Chris T! Grayling has been rewarded with his own chapter in the best-selling, Book of Heroic Failures. Beating many of his contemporaries, Chris Grayling has risen to the top of his profession. When it comes to the colossal cock-up, he is without equal. “Ironically, it is in the field of failure that he is outstandingly successful. We are thinking of giving him his own book!”Ian Napton, Publisher Some of Grayling's noted successes include, destroying the justice system, prisoner rights, and the probation service. More recently he successfully oversaw the award of a £14 Million contract to a freight company with no boats, drove lorries pointlessly around Kent, closed down the rail network and Gatwick Airport, cocked-up the 3rd runway at Heathrow and organised a training contract with Saudi Arabia. However his latest achievement has given everyone a good laugh. The House of Commons voted to choose a new Chair of The Intelligence Committee. Despite a government majority of 80, the backing of the Prime Minister, the endorsement and strategizing of Dominic Cummings, Failing Grayling managed to lose to someone nobody had ever heard of. It was a remarkable achievement. You can't make this stuff up! We know, we tried! When it comes to public failure, neither Patel, Hancock or the geographically challenged Raab, can hold a candle to Parliament’s most inept member. Read the full article

A no-effort spared investigation can reveal that the former Justice Minister, Chris Grayling, is The Secret Barrister. The Secret Barrister Since the SB took to Twitter, in May 2015, Chris Grayling featured regularly as a target for Secret’s legendary wit, point by point repudiation, withering sarcasm and evident disdain.  Many a breakfast has been disturbed by the reading out of Secret’s latest deconstruction of Grayling’s devastation of the legal system. The growth in the popularity of the @BarristerSecret account suggests public approval for this approach. However, sources close to the former minister have revealed that it was all a cunning ruse, designed to throw would-be investigators off the scent.A sauce When Mr Grayling became Justice Minister, he was so appalled at the establishment’s mismanagement of the legal system that drastic action was required. Like Jim Hacker before him, his daily battles with civil servants proved to be futile. In desperation, he created The Secret Barrister as an outlet for his anger and frustration. “He thought if people knew what was going on in the Justice System, an informed and engaged public would demand big changes. How wrong he was.”A Government shill The Honourable Mr Grayling hatched a cunning plan, in order to force systemic reform. Whenever a ministerial decision was required, he took the wrong one. Read the full article