#chrianna

London traffic makes me angry, like this shit is just a waste of time and I hate it, I always like to do stupid shit but I have the police parked right behind me in this traffic so I am just sat here waiting with Rylee on the phone, I mean we aren’t speaking but I am just here, she is talking to someone so I am waiting really “ok sorry, I am back” she said “you know what, I actually hate the way wat you say Tion name, it sounds slutty, as you say” Rylee snorted laughing “shut up!” she spat “I was baffled you use that term, slutty, that sounds weird coming from you and that accent of yours” I miss her, she has been in Italy for two days now “well blame my friends, what can I say but do you seriously think I sound slutty saying his name? Be real, I am more like telling him to do his job” I sniggered “I am joking, but what he do, I thought you like Tion. That day when I called you a dickhead, he was side eyeing me and glaring at me like I was the opp” looking in my rearview mirror, I swear I wish the police weren’t there “well he is protecting his woman!” she spat “oh woman? Oh is it, right now there is a bunch of girls in the car next to me and they are looking, I am going to put the window down just to piss you off” Rylee gasped “I was joking!” she can shout all she wants, putting the volume down “nah, you annoyed me now” putting the window down “alright” I said, the scream they let out “damn, relax. It’s ok, y’all good?” I asked, “traffic is jarring isn’t it” oh they recording now “it’s the best thing, I love you so much and you’re better in person, oh my god!” the girl said “that is funny, thank you. Y’all ain’t from around here?” I questioned “we just came to London for a hen party! We are from Liverpool” letting out an oh “I heard about you Liverpool girls, wild” I grinned “we party the best Cench” nodding my head “I bet, but I appreciate the love, I could hear you chanting my name for a while now. I just didn’t want to have people peeping and that you know, it’s all love” waving them off, putting the window back up “you’re a dick” putting the volume back up “then don’t chat shit then” finally this shit is moving “mhmm I didn’t mean it, you was flirting and I know you was smiling from the way you was talking, I am not happy” switching lanes because I want to get rid of the police really “then we can be not happy together, it’s romantic” I laughed to myself, she is pissed off and I know it.

Rylee has stayed on the phone with but quiet “I am here now you know, so we equal?” she scoffed “well whatever, why did you do that?” she asked “because you literally called Tion your man, I don’t know this guy! I don’t care, he was mean mugging me the last time I peeped, like I don’t care. You could like this guy, how do I fucking know?” she went silent on the phone “fine, ok I did annoy you so you’re at the place then? Is my dad there” seeing him get out of the car with Aziel “he is here, whatever though” I shrugged “Oakley, please. He does adore you a lot and he does feel bad, let him talk to you and make it up to you, do not be stubborn and make him the victim, please. Listen to me in things, this is what I know. Just let him do the running, he knows he fucked up and he did bad just don’t talk down to him please, for me. I know you pissed off with him but please” I sighed out “alright, I am going now. Talk later if you can, don’t work too hard with Tion” I had to mention it “shut up!” she spat “I love you, I miss you so much” grabbing my phone from the handle and getting out of the car “I love you too Lee, you have to see me as soon you land babe” Aziel ran to me “that isn’t for a few days, but I will call you tonight your time, bye” disconnecting the call “I missed you! Where have you been” I always love when he holds my legs, like for him that is a hug “I am home!” he spat “well not my home was it” picking him up “I have missed you, you know that” he nodded his head “papa here” he pointed “I can see, you ready for boxing? Get all that pent up naughtiness out of you” he grinned “hey” I said to Chris “what’s up?” he said back “you got his bag?” I asked “oh yeah, it’s here” I am going to keep it neutral with him.

I chuckled at Aziel, him skipping is the funniest thing but he is trying to do it, the trainer is trying to get him to comply but his legs ain’t doing it “he is funny” Chris said “he is” I added “I can tell he appreciates these moments, the way he looks over to check you’re still there to watch him, that’s love” nodding my head “well this is on my list as the first thing to do with him, I rather stay here in London so I can do this with him, instead of him hitting kids he can learn discipline, it’s nice” Aziel ran over to us “big workout today” he is huffing and puffing, passing his water to him, he pointed “I punch now” I think his favourite part is his little fists punching those bags “you’re Chris Brown” some child came over to us, Aziel looked at him “you’re Cench” he pointed “no my dad, and it’s papa” he put his foot down with that “your dad is him” he pointed “this my dad” ran into me “my dad” reaching over to the kid and dapping him “I peeped you out there, you good” he smiled “thank you” he said “go on, go” taking the water bottle from him “he is too proud of his pops” I sighed out “yeah, I mean it’s whatever, I don’t think it’s hard to be better then my own dad, you know. He ain’t shit really is he” I said “Oakley, I am sorry” he apologised “it’s fine, we can be cordial. It’s just ruined init because them two are still texting, so allow it. We can’t be what we are because your daughter reached out to Juke, and that ain’t something you going to like so I think for Rylee we be cool for that” looking at him, he ain’t liking what he is hearing “he showed me the message and she messaged him first, I just don’t want it. So us, the bond we had we might as well forget” Chris put his head down “ok” he just said, he can’t control his anger and what is even the point in it, we can just be cordial, I know him as much as he knows me, and I know he is big mad now.

Aziel wanted to go for ice cream, but he wanted me there as well, this kid is annoying because I am having to be here with Chris even longer “Oakley” Chris said, looking up from my phone “look, you know I don’t give a fuck about anyone, I do not care for anyone besides my own, but I care about you, I came here not to babysit Aziel, but for you. I look at you as my own and I am sorry, I am sorry I came at you the way I did; I am sorry I wasn’t there for you with your dad. I let you down, I know I did and that hurt you because you needed me, I know Oakley you are let down by me. You needed me even if you didn’t verbally say it and I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there in Guyana with you and then when you came back, you saw me, and I came at you. I regret it, my regret is I came at you, and for that I am sorry. Come on man, I know you. I hung out with you for too long to know you, you needed me, and I wasn’t there. You did what you needed to do for him, look I am fed up. I can’t keep chasing these grown girls anymore, or be beating people up, I am done. I saw red with Juke and yeah, I did knock him over, it was stupid of me, but you and I know I do a lot for these girls, but I can’t do anymore, Imani is the last of it and I am done. Emi, I hope I am dead because I can’t do it anymore. I haven’t even apologised to Herb, I punched him, but I came to you because it’s upsetting me to know you feel that, you lost your dad, and you was falling apart, and I promised I would come but I came to you like that. Oakley I am so sorry bro” I swallowed hard “I have so much care for you, you know that. Tell me, I want to hear it” I know what Rylee wants, I don’t want to make her life difficult either, but I know Chris cares, he is genuine.

I huffed out “look Juke is what he is, but he is my only brother. And it does take two, when you came to me about Rylee, and that all happened I took it yeah but with Juke he isn’t me, I knew where he was, as much as he is what he is, he can be led astray, this is why I got blame when he got stabbed he is stupid. Imani was to blame too but she didn’t get that, she got a little sprinkle of shouting, but you didn’t show that guy that came to the apartment when Rylee was pregnant and shouting, knocked me out, Imani got a holiday, but my brother could have been killed. I get it, you can be angry all you want, you have a right too, but she is of age, and she isn’t a stupid girl as you all make it seem to be, Juke comes to me, he shows me, he said to me he is scared but she is at this point harassing him, putting it on him. I uhm, I ain’t her dad, and you can do as you please, but I know Rylee been through a hell of a lot more with you then any of Ti and Imani put together, I was there, I saw it. You wasn’t even there for him, the hate you held for Rylee was deep, but you was hurt, I took that, but you don’t think that hurts Ti and Rylee, you let Imani off with it, people around got hurt instead. I am upset with you Chris, because at that time I lost my dad and so did Juke, you wanted me to lose my brother, you could have punched him instead really. Then you came at me, fucked up way too, that hurt” Chris is silent, he ain’t mad at all “I did need you, you right, I needed you to tell me fucking relax, but you wasn’t, and it’s happened now, but like maybe time will heal thing but things will change in many ways, and at the end of the day we will have a connection more then ever now, including Juke” I take Chris’ silence as he knows I am right.

Chris nodded his head slowly “I have regrets with Rylee, even when Robyn called me and told me. I did say she was dead to me; I wasn’t there for the birth, I wasn’t there for any of it, you right. I did a lot of things to her; I wanted her so hidden that she didn’t exist. She is scarred from pregnancy because of me, from her pictures to baby shower to her being hidden. It was calculated by me to her mother and fed down, I made everything hell, and yeah Imani is being let off lightly more than the older two, because I don’t know how to punish a girl that doesn’t understand, I don’t Oakley. I am sorry, I am sorry that I am this way. I took it too far, honest truth but we don’t know what to do with her, that is a decision we still thinking of. I am so proud of Rylee and Tianna, both of them girls. But see it from my point of view, my guy you was older then her, I was mad, but I did take it too far. And I treated you like my son, and I still do. I just want us to go back to how we was, I do. I promise to not ever do that to you or Juke, I won’t, if I do see him again. No matter, he is your family” nodding my head “and not being there for you with your dad, I am sorry” I took in a deep breath “wasn’t worth you coming though, you never came did you” I questioned “you say that, but I wasn’t worth the flight, was I? You took care of me through cancer, I see you as more, my dad wasn’t there for me, you was when I had cancer, when I needed you for other shit, but you didn’t come for that. Allow it though, just allow it” I got up from the chair “I will be back” I said to Aziel.

Aziel is just so quiet, but I feel bad “I am proud of you, you won the award. I posted you on my page” I turned my phone to him “me!?” he spat “yes, and Dave said he big proud of you too, and he can’t wait to see you soon” he grinned “I am so proud of you with how far you come with that boxing venture, you putting in work too son, I see it” my son is so happy “the family is coming down” he said to me “yeah Lee was saying” I mumbled “Oakley, I do need to make it up to you, I was wrong. And you did expect more of me minus the whole Juke thing, I never did come, and I wasn’t there. You lost your dad, I get it. But hand on my heart, and it sounds soppy, but I love you a lot, you my own” looking at Chris “I get it, but you should be aware that Imani is still in contact with my brother, she messaged him first” I want him to know that “I don’t care about that” he is upset about what I have said really “Aziel, Chris is going to take you home ok. I have to go now, dad has things he needs to do with Slawn and the gang, give me hug” he got up from the chair “I call you please” I chuckled “yes you can call me, you better say goodnight to me alright” hugging him “big proud of you though” pressing a kiss to the top of his head “see you soon ok” he nodded his head, looking at Chris “see you soon” Aziel hasn’t let me go yet “I miss you” I cooed out “so do I but I need to go now, so please” he sighed out “bye dad” he is so cute “won’t be gone for long” walking off, I do have things I have to do, that ain’t a lie with all that.

Robyn is an emotional wreck; she really is so emotional about today and I am so calm about it all. It’s a new era for our eldest and I am really not sure how to feel really, I am scared because she is going to enter the big world now and she will soon become the independent woman, I know she is the brightest girl I know, she isn’t stupid and even though she plays around a lot she is literally the most brightest girl, she isn’t dumb at all and I really think she gets her brains from me, I will take that but I am proud of her and whatever she is going to do next. I feel sad because I miss that small girl telling me what to do, she is growing now what can I say about it “mom, dad I will be going there early. I will drive myself there” raising an eyebrow “I drive now dad, so I will see you all there” nodding my head “why is mom still crying” I laughed “she can’t stop, I told you she is sensitive” making my way over to Rylee  “I wish I could say stop growing but it’s only upwards now, you know” Rylee smiled “I know, it’s erm, it’s scary because I already feel like I have lost friends, I don’t know but you know, I think some were jealous of me to be honest and for me to get into NYU too, I think it’s me and a few others, like five I think that got the best performing but I accept the hate, I won’t be here for long. I will then be moving to New York and I will find other friends, I guess” stuffing my hands in my pockets “you and North not friends?” I hope they are, they are having a joint party “oh we are friends, North isn’t my only friend but people change dad. And it didn’t take people long to change” this is just the start for her “Rylee you will learn that the people you leave school with, they aren’t really going to be on the journey with you. And you do find out that they were lowkey haters, you should be the proudest of yourself, imagine that. NYU, I am proud of you, but I am also feeling it” I smiled “your baby is grown” I chuckled “yeah, yeah. That little girl that would tell me I can’t cook and I must order pizza because you are hungry and this was ten at night on a school night or you telling me that I just want to be like mom, and I will be just like her and you on the right road to be the next person to take over Fenty, I know you will ace it” Rylee’ lower lip quivered “what is wrong with you now?” what is with the women “will I always be your baby dad” I chuckled “always, stop it” wrapping my arm around her, now she got me teary eyed “proud of you Rylee, I am really so happy with you” Rylee sniffled “now my make up is ruined” we both laughed.

Sitting down next to Robyn in the crowd of parents at the school, I hate wearing suits. My balls be getting caught up in the pants at times, and the pants ride up every time “my first American graduation” Robyn said looking around “oh I forget that you’re foreign” Robyn’ looked at me “you married one” nodding my head “I just didn’t know what you was saying, I agreed to disagree” she nudged me “shut up” Raihan made his way over to me, picking him up and placing him on my lap “are we going to see Rylee?” Imani asked, “we are indeed, might be a long wait though” the kids should be silent for a while, we got them candy because honestly it’s boring “do you remember yours?” Robyn asked “erm I was high, if we are being real” Robyn shook her head “of course you was, no sense in that brain of yours” looking up “hi” Kim waved “you sat ahead of us? Who would have thought” I said “hi Saint” the way Imani yelped out to say hi to Saint, even I side eyed her “oh Rylee came to pick up North and they was singing so loud as they left, least our children have made a great bond” little does Kim know Robyn has been trying to break that bond for a while now, Robyn finds North a nasty child, but let me not “I told North that we have to fly out so we can’t do a party so she is not aware, it’s going to be nice to do a joint one at my house” Kim just loves to talk “we appreciate it, I think they will enjoy it more anyways being together” Robyn said, but Robyn did this for personal gain, so our house won’t be a mess.

North has already walked, so I think Rylee will be coming up soon. I did tell the kids that this is boring because Raihan has now fallen asleep but I am waking him up slowly “your sister will be coming out, wake up” nudging him, he opened his eyes “I am sleepy” he whined “I know but you will miss your sister, she will be coming” I huffed out “I can’t believe we have a daughter at this age and she is now a college student, where has time gone and then we have Tianna next. Wow” Robyn said in my ear “I know, I think I will be crying when Imani graduates. I am going to be a mess that day” I just know it, she is my baby and my last daughter so I will be a wreck, I adore her so much “Rylee Fenty-Brown” I gasped and shot up, as I would and placed Raihan on the ground “Rylee!” I shouted clapping as she walked to get her Diploma, Rylee looked at the crowd because I know she heard me holler “Rylee, Rylee, Rylee. Where Melo at” I can hear a bunch of guys just chanting my daughter name and I midway froze clapping “oh brother” Tianna said, looking around “Chris” Robyn said, looking back to see Rylee holding her diploma and she waved it in the air and I smiled so wide “that really my baby” I said smiling, hearing a bunch of wolf whistles and name chanting again and Rylee put a finger up at someone and I peaked over seeing Melo and a bunch of boys “ok, can we calm down” Max said on the mic “they are still dogs I see” looking at Tianna “huh?” Robyn patted my arm to sit down.

Waiting for Rylee to come over and see us “what did you mean by they are still dogs?” I asked Tianna, I didn’t forget. Robyn has gone to get drinks with the boys “why was they barking?” Imani asked, “I told you, dogs” she said “yeah but you said that but you not answering why?” I questioned “the boys are butt hurt on behalf of Melo but then again they always did that with Rylee because she wouldn’t date them and then Melo made a rumour that she wouldn’t put out and it was her fault and he had to leave. But on a regular day at school the boys did that anyways, I am glad I left because it was annoying to see. Rylee also told me one of the boys from the basketball team told her that he would fuck her by force because she is being too stuck up. I think she is happy to leave, I would be, what a toxic school full of rich mommy boys” my mouth just hung open “I think it sucks that Melo was simping over Rylee for years for him to turn around and do that, I ought to slap him but he didn’t want to be the one that was dumped. So really her last few months here was wack, this is why I have been here for Rylee” I swallowed hard “I should beat him” I mumbled “oh there is more, you should see her phone” Tianna is really angry “family” Rylee said smiling “wow, look at you. I am so proud of you” Tianna hugged her “I didn’t even cry” she said “I did” I smiled “has mom filled a cup up, but yay! It’s over now” nodding my head “it is” I mumbled, to find out that her last months here were not good and it was because she left Melo, I really should beat his ass but no, I am above that now, I feel annoyed “dad” looking at Rylee “I am so happy you’re here, I think this made it even more special then it is” I cooed out hugging her “I am always here for you all, I love you Rylee. I do” Rylee held me tightly.

Staring at Melo, I should see her phone Tianna said but no, I can’t. She won’t like that “hey” Robyn said, looking at her “are you ok?” nodding my head “you seem a little dazed, you sure?” nodding my head “talk to me” Rylee is smiling so whatever, I guess those the school friends, I am not sure “you hear that noise when Rylee went on stage? I didn’t like it” I said to her “Oh yeah, I heard it too. It was very degrading but I don’t want to bring it up with her you know but they was hollering, the boys were” it’s annoying me “I can’t do it” I said and walked off “Chris, hey” walking towards Rylee “can I speak to you, hi” I said to her friends “sure, I will be back” Rylee took her hat off and placed it on my head “thanks” moving away “what was that noise about? When you walked the stage, we all heard it. I don’t want to start upsetting you I just want to know” Rylee looked deflated that I bought it up “once I dumped Melo the boys just became unbearable, they started to just push things and said that Melo had a chance, and some girls just you know being bitches. They erm, they tried to tease me out of the cheerleading team but that ain’t me, I did it back but Melo is butt hurt and it was making things shit but I am done now, it’s fine” nodding my head “what is on your phone?” I asked “what!?” she spat “like they saying shit to you?” she shrugged “on twitter they would just say things like I am easy, and stuff. It’s whatever dad, it’s in the past but they are still upset. I graduated and we can move forward, don’t be upset about it, I am ok” she tried to make me feel better but she was dealing with that plus me, I feel bad.

Shaking Kanye’ hand “how are you?” he asked me “I am well thank” stepping back “I am glad to see you back from the mental breakdown a better man, you look well” staring at Kanye confused “I know the look, I mean the pictures were everywhere, I saw them and I looked and I prayed that you would be ok. I know that look, and I know the feeling. I have been through it, I found god Chris” I swallowed hard “medication they will keep you on forever, but God is all you need, but I am happy you are ok. How are you feeling inside you?” he asked “erm shocked” I laughed “everyone said I had cancer, some wished I did but for you to blatantly say that, wow” I mean he is right, he has been through it “I know how it feels, trapped in your own mind and just generally alone when people say they are there for you” nodding my head “yeah, I just feel bewildered. I feel like there is a lot going on you know. It’s early days, I think if I wasn’t on my medication I would be on my shit, but yeah. Maybe you right, I need to go to god” he placed his hand on my shoulder “you need help, ask me” looking around the party, it’s a nice party they threw together “hi Chris” Kourtney said “hi, how are you?” I asked, she came in for a hug “feeling old now but it’s nice to see you” nodding my head, seeing Jbeez, he came. Waving my hand at him and Oakley “who is that?” he pointed “two friends I made, Jbeez has the best connections in the UK. Anything you want he can make it happen, I was just telling Kanye how you the man of the UK” shaking his hand “oh yeah” looking at Oakley “whitey” he dapped me “are you anaemic, you wear the most questionable shit in the heat” he snorted laughing “I like this shit though, this is me” he is dumb.

My children and these weekend activities, they have me up at six in the morning to get them ready for these things they like to do, I mean I can’t complain because I was complaining when they wasn’t doing anything, but they have made my Saturday busy, usually Chris and I split it but Chris is feeling very low so I am doing it all plus Junior, I can do it. I am fine, I think anyways but it’s hard. All three girls doing separate things, I just feel like splitting myself into three “I think it’s really unfair mom that you are not staying with me” Rylee said, “I get it, I am sorry but Imani’ first day doing something like this, I need to be there for her” Rylee is in a bad mood, she wants me to stay with her for her ballerina lesson, I get it, she wants me there, but I can’t stay “Rylee!” I shouted at her “she banged the door shut” Tianna climbed from the back “I know she did and sit down. Wait in the car” opening the door and climbed out of the car “I don’t want you there” she kicked Frank “Rylee” closing the SUV door behind “don’t you dare kick Frank, apologise right now!” I spat, walking over to her “sorry” she said “you are so unfair, always Imani. Who cares if Imani is kicking a ball! I had to be without last time, it’s my turn. You are so unfair mom” nodding my head slowly “she is youngest Rylee; I am sorry I can’t be with you. Dad is not good right now; he just needs some alone time. I am trying, next week I will come with you” Rylee has such a face on with me “you keep thinking I don’t need you because I am oldest but maybe I don’t want to be oldest, it’s Junior because he is annoying and then Imani because she is stupid. Only time you pay attention is if I be bad” pointing at Frank “say sorry to him” I ain’t forget “properly too” she looked up at Frank “sorry” nodding my head “Rylee, I am sorry. I am sorry. I do, I know it. Because you are eldest I do expect you to be ok with things, and I appreciate you bringing it up to me, I will make time for you” she nodded her head “ok, I guess I will see you when I finished” Rylee walked off, she didn’t hug me “love you baby” I said but she doesn’t want to know me, she is hurt with me.

Imani playing sport, it’s cute to see her. I feel like she talks more then she kicks a ball, and it makes me laugh, she explains things. The girl doesn’t stop talking and she has gotten in trouble about it in class, she is so well spoken, and I love that for her. Waving at her as she waved at me, I want her to try out other things. I know she loves music, that is her go to, but I want her to try other things, she may like it too. Tianna doesn’t half complain like Rylee, she is just so angry at me, I dropped Tianna off at her music class, she is still doing Piano lessons. She gave me a hug, but Rylee is heavy on my mind, I feel like she is entering a new phase in her life, and I am going to get a very moody teenager but if Chris did come with me, I could have gone there and he could be here, but I couldn’t do that to him, he is really going through a lot, he is really upset about his nephew. Still missing, Tootie finally actually answering him. She said she has been looking but now they have told the police, they said it’s been so long and every hour counts and potentially speaking on death, I for one pray it isn’t but where the hell did he go. Tootie said he and his friends went out, his friends are home, and he isn’t. I just feel sick to think about, but I had to give him space, I can’t drag him to things, I just want to be there for him. Looking over at Junior, he is picking grass and hitting into Rich, he is enjoying life, but he is quiet, and I can deal with that. I just need to make time for my eldest two, just maybe mommy and daughter, I am scared for the teenage phase.

I feel like Giorgio Baldi can fix anything, even my love life. I just love this place with my whole heart, I bought the kids here to eat. I mean mostly eat what I love most so they can deal with it “so girls, how was your day?” Rylee shrugged, Tianna giggled “Rylee said she is not speaking to you” letting out an oh “well that is peaceful for me, thank you Rylee” I thanked her “no I am not!” she spat, I laughed “oh you speak then” she side eyed me “I just want you to pay attention to my things, even Ti agrees” see these two, these two are trouble, Rylee the ring leader “you do?” I said to Tianna “she is right mom; you don’t see my lessons either. Imani or Junior. Junior and Imani, we don’t belong” rubbing my forehead “I really think Junior ruined it all” looking at Junior just licking his fingers “look girls, I get it. But Junior is a baby, Imani needed me there, she is baby too” Rylee looked at me shocked “she is not a baby mom, you think she is. You are so not fair; she won’t be a baby forever then what?” I laughed “then I have more” the horror on Ti and Rylee’ face “I am moving to momo house, no” I am laughing at them “it’s a joke, come on girls. I will promise to do something with you both” answering my phone, Chris is calling me “then we can forgive you” Ti added, she needs to stop hanging with Rylee “hi” I answered “Junior!” I shouted at him, the way he threw that pasta and it landed on Tianna “don’t you dare throw it back, just wipe it off. Sorry, hi” these kids “can you come home, after that” I mean what else does he think I am doing “I will, we are just eating. Everything ok?” I asked “just come home” he put the phone down, oh he is not doing good at all “no throwing like that” I said to him, I don’t think he really did it on purpose. He was so confused it left his hands “say sorry!” Tianna said to him “he doesn’t know what that means, he is a baby” Tianna frowned at him “everyone is a baby to you, even dad” I didn’t want to laugh but that was funny, I giggled to myself because she is right “you girls” shaking my head.

Eventful little day with the kids “girls, hey. Listen to me, I’m going to take Junior upstairs, please. Put your things away, if I see them scattered around here. I won’t be happy” Junior fell asleep in the car, also he needed his nap so it’s about time he fell asleep. Walking up the steps “mom, can I have some ice cream?” Tianna asked “yes but wait for me; I will make it for you. I don’t want mess” I don’t know why I bother putting him in the crib because he gets out of it and does stupid things upstairs but then the girls wake him to just to then find him annoying, these girls don’t let their brother live. Opening the bedroom door “Robyn” looking to my bedroom, Chris has his head poked around “are you crying?” I said shocked “come after” nodding my head, let me put him in the crib. Chris has been very emotional, like he’s been showing his feelings instead of lashing out, and this is all I have ever wanted from him, I wanted him to actually show how he really feels, and he is. I wanted that from him, I adore Chris so much and I would never judge him. Placing the covers over Junior, I did a little run out of the bedroom “mom, you coming down?” I put my hand up “I’ll be ten minutes” going to the bedroom; he’s not left the bedroom since “Chris?” I said, seeing him sat at the vanity table chair “Hey, oh my god” closing the door behind me “why are you crying? Chris” getting down onto my knees, wrapping my arms around him “what happened?” I am so concerned, I’m scared actually “it’s ok, Chris you can cry. I’m here now” he is sobbing; I am scared. I don’t know what has happened, I hope it’s not because of his nephew, I am so scared to hear it “oh my baby, my poppa. I’m here baby, I’m here” I hate to hear him like this and in pain, I am so scared to know what has happened, I am praying so hard it isn’t his nephew, but I think it is.

Chris wiped his tears with his hands, I passed him some tissue “are you ok to talk?” getting down onto my knees, he wiped his face with the tissue “is it Desean? What happened Chris?” he swallowed hard “they erm, they” oh this is not good, my heart has dropped “my auntie called me and uhm, they found his body in the Rappahannock River. Someone found his body Robyn” he sobbed out, my eyes welled up “oh my god” I am in shock, this can’t be happening. Not his nephew, wiping my tears “I am so sorry Chris” what else can I say “they said he was there for a while, someone killed him. He was dumped there, that’s what he police are saying. Fuck, this can’t be happening. This can’t be real” Chris got up from the seat “it can’t be real, this is a joke” he shook his head, this is the worst news to hear, this is so sad “fuck, man. He is just a kid” getting up from the floor “I am so fucking hurt man, why my family!” he shouted “I got to go there” walking around the bed “baby yes, I agree. I want to come with you” Chris shook his head “we can go together; I want to support you. Chris, please” following behind Chris “I don’t know what I am even doing anymore, what do I do?” he turned to me “just step back for one moment Chris, just let’s sit down” I said to him, I am this is shocking. I am in shock too.

I just sat with Chris in silence, it’s better than him crying. Looking over at him “what did they say? Did your auntie say anything else?” I asked “that erm, they think it was a hit and run and his body got dumped in there, but that is it. I can’t say anything else; I can’t believe that has even happened, I mean what the fuck. Who would do that, his friends said he was home, well going home. Someone really did that, that is calculated” placing my hand on the back of his neck “just let’s not think that, I am ever so sorry Chris, this is so shocking. I want to be there for you Chris, so I am coming with you. The kids too, we are going to support you. Nothing else matters, it’s going to be a hard time, but I think you should be there” Chris nodded his head “I felt so off, I knew something was wrong. My mother is going to be distraught, man. I just don’t know what to do really, what do I do?” he asked “you be there for your family, I will be there for you” Chris looked at me “thank you” nodding my head, I mean it sucks I have to drag the kids with us but I have nobody to take care of them “or maybe I can get Jen and Tina to take care of them until I am back” I said to myself “I will do that, I will get Tina actually. Just take Junior with me” getting up, I think it’s best I don’t take them all, it won’t be the best place and the girls are very aware of people being not good. I don’t want that for them, I will do that instead.

The girls are going to be a pain, I just know it “Tina, thank you so much. I wouldn’t have asked like this, but after that news” Tina shook her head “no, please go. It’s important” smiling at her “girls, in the living room, come” I said “you didn’t come down and get ice cream” Tianna said, she is right “I know but I need to speak to you all “I am so sorry about your nephew Chris” Tina said behind me, turning my head and Chris has come down with shades on, he is not good “appreciate it” he said, walking into the living room “girls, I have something I need from you all. Me and dad really need to go to VA, something very bad has happened and we need to go now but auntie Tina will be here, please girls. I don’t want to hear it, I know I constantly not there like you want me to be, I am sorry for that but this is so important” I said, they are quiet “you try mom” Rylee said, she is actually understanding “thank you” I said “I heard dad crying” letting out an oh “yeah, once we know what has happened then we can explain but we need to go kids” the girls are understanding, my mother is calling me now “one moment” I said answering the call “hi” I said “hi Robbie, Chris isn’t answering his calls” she said “no, we have something on mom. What is it?” she always rings at the wrong time “his dad is trying to call him” I wonder why “how sad Robbie, who would do that” they know “mom, I am begging you, please do not go to VA you stay in Barbados. I mean it” she is stupid enough to do it ”he is devastated, he needs someone with him?” I groaned out “mom, I don’t even think he is invited to be there, I would recommend to stay away, and you mom. If I see you there I am going to be mad” I feel so harsh “you going?” she said “well yes, technically that is my family mom. Not yours, and to be honest not even his real grandchild, I really think he needs to mourn in peace, there” my mom scoffed “you sound like Chris” she spat “no, I am saving my husband from when he has to see his dad there that spoke shit about his sister when her son was missing, just drop it, I need to go now” I don’t have the time to be going back and forth, if they go there then they do and will cause some nasty issues “since when have you been like this? Am I speaking to Chris?” my mother is shocked “no mom, I am standing by my husband, just mind yours and I will mine. Please I need to go now, love you. Bye” disconnecting the call.

Good morning Curitiba City!🇬🇧

Доброго ранку Куритиба!🇺🇦

It’s been a weird feeling to be having Robyn’ family in the home but not Robyn, she is being extremely stubborn. To say the least, she picked up Rylee from the home and then didn’t stay either. To say that she wanted her family here she isn’t coming here, and on top of that. The very night she left early she went to the club even though she said she is thinking, how can you think when you’re in the club, it makes no sense. She left Rylee behind and went to the club with Mel, she has been very off now. I think she is angry with me; I feel she is anyways. I think she is angry with me that I told Monica, because Monica did mention that she wasn’t happy at all that she knew and was saying that she will speak to me, but she hasn’t really, besides sending me a picture of Rylee with a wig on, that is it but today is the day, taking Robyn to the Getty museum. I have spent so much money on making it up to Robyn that I will not be doing this again, never again. Shit is expensive as hell, but I am going to push through, and I am going to continue to try and get Robyn to break down but it’s so hard, she is being very hard. I didn’t think Rihanna would be so different to Robyn, I know Monica says she is just her daughter, but Rihanna is very much out there, I have fucked up big time. Even though I exposed Drake for what he is, niggas were clowning me about it and TJ said why didn’t I listen to Robyn when she said, I feel like a dickhead, but I will get my wife back, I will, and I know I will. I think I just need to keep getting at Robyn, see if I didn’t have my leg in this cast I would be at the club harassing her, she knows I would be too.

Majesty is watching TV but goes out of her way to sit on my cast, I don’t know why but she does “you annoying uncle again, since she can walk she be doing the most” Noella sat down, I laughed shaking my head “she reminds me of what my daughter will be like, she keeps touching it. I think she is intrigued by it, you know” Majesty does not care and continued to remain on my cast “big day today for you” I breathed out, rolling my eyes as I did “I don’t know, Robyn is being hard headed. Please tell me it’s not just me?” looking over at Noella “she is” she admitted “I think she is acting out; Robyn went through that when things were going wrong with her father. She was so upset, and she went very within herself, very dark, angry. Auntie said that she spoke to her on why she isn’t coming, she is busy but then Monica said she is angry that her mother told her off about things, that her mother is taking sides, but my cousin needs to relax. I hope you can get that out of her” I knew it, I knew she would be upset about her mother “I hope” I mumbled “I have hurt her a lot Noella, she trusted me so much, she said that Rylee is lucky to have me as a father and I let her down with that, I haven’t been around for her, I know that has hurt her. I think she is seeing me as a bad person, it’s me” I am to blame in this.

If I could, I would be pacing around in this room because I am nervous about today, this cast is annoying my life too because I can’t wear what I want, I have to wear something nice because I know my wife will look bomb as hell “Christopher, are you in there” hearing the light knocks on the door, Monica is knocking on the bedroom door “erm yeah, come in!” I spat, I mean I am just sat on the bed waiting for the moment I see Robyn, I am trying to gather myself right now “sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt but you weren’t coming down, are you ok?” she asked “also have you ate? My daughter is stubborn, but she said can I make sure you are fed” I chuckled “erm yeah I have thank you” smiling at my mother in law being so sweet “I wanted to ask when was the last time this home was cleaned?” that reminds me “erm, like about three months? I never changed the sheets since, I don’t want you to do it for me but yeah, since Robyn left” Monica nodded her head “I can tell, you need to get a cleaner to come but I didn’t come for that reason, I wanted to say my daughter is being hard right now but don’t stop” she said “I am not going too, I made the mistake. This is my fault, if I didn’t see a glimmer of hope I would stop but I know she wants me, she is being hard headed but I know she just wants me to be sorry, I will get her back” I am optimistic with her hard ass “good, I just want some peace. I prayed for you both, but if you need help then let me know” Monica turned away, I need to get a cleaner to come actually.

Mel is shouting me to come out, I am here trying to find something to wear for this thing. I don’t know what it is, Chris hasn’t really said what it is, but it’s something. I am guessing a meal, I am sure it will be a meal or something, but I don’t know what to wear “I am here” lifting my sweatpants up a little as I made my way out “take your time, you have people here for you” I haven’t asked for anyone to come so who the hell is this “who?” I said as I got to the living room “oh hi?” why is Mel and Mylah here “we have been summoned to come” furrowing my eyebrows “by who?” I know it’s not me “your husband” letting out an oh “no way? Did he really? How is this man here just booking my people” staring at Mel, she just shrugged “when there is a way Robyn” she has a point “How?” I asked either of them “well what happened was he messaged me on Instagram, I think he also messaged Mel on there too, he said that Robyn has somewhere to go, and I need you to do her makeup” this saves me from doing it actually “he said it’s a little date, there will be things there. He really didn’t give much away but here we are” my smile grew “I am glad actually; I didn’t know what to wear so this saves me so much time, if you want to come to my bedroom I guess” I am just annoyed actually, more at my mom then anything, she just wants me to make an effort and that I shouldn’t have left the home, it is wrong, so I haven’t been home. She said the home is a mess, that isn’t my problem because I am not there either.

Mel got me in a little cute Dior denim dress, I mean I haven no idea if it will fit the event but to me this looks nice as hell. Imagine if he is matching again, I am going to fall out laughing because he does this a lot “am I date ready?” I twirled in the living room “you are, you look hard faced though. Good luck to him” I gasped “don’t be rude, do I?” Mylah nodded her head “you seem like you are in deep thought most of the time, like you want to smile and be happy and speak to people but your mind is elsewhere, your mind is whatever is upsetting you right now. So it’s making you look hard faced” she has a point “I have a lot on my mind that is all, I don’t know what it will bring today. I don’t know what will be said, I don’t know what will happen so I am just having a hard time concentrating you see, but Rylee” I pointed at Mel “are you ok with her, or shall I say to my mom you will drop her off with her?” Mel might have other things going on “I think Ry Ry knows me more then auntie, she may get more upset being with her so I will keep her, I will love spending time with her” that is good, so I don’t need worry about Rylee “take a breather, enjoy yourself and just speak on everything” Mel said, nodding my head taking in a deep breath.

Chris called me an SUV too, he is making sure I really come to this. I love that he is doing the most too, he is making sure I am dressed too with inviting my stylist. I do wonder what the fuck he got going on at a damn museum, like I am wondering what he got going on right now. The driver opened the door for me, I smiled lightly at him as I got out of the SUV. Chris and his damn leg, trying to not smile too much “wearing a shirt now” I pointed out, Chris smiled putting his head down “well I had to look good, you look beautiful” he looked up at me “you really do, I am just glad you came actually” he laughed “I was doubting that you was because there has been a lot going on with us so I was just doubting it so I am glad you’re here” leaning in and wrapping my arm around his neck “well I wouldn’t not come, I like surprises and you know that. I am sad for you though, your leg” I stood back from him “yeah, it’s been a real pain for me but we good. We can still do what we need to do can’t we?” nodding my head agreeing “of course” I breathed out “shall we go in?” he said “yeah, I will go in first. Hold the door for you” stepping ahead of him so I can hold the door open for him, I have to take care of him now “thanks” pushing the door open and holding it open for him “don’t be, if you weren’t like this then I would have made you done it all” which is true.

The double doors opened on their own actually, Chris and I just stood here, and they just opened “oh my god” placing my hands over my mouth, hearing the violin started playing Diamonds just like on our wedding day. The room is filled with flowers upon flowers “happy anniversary, I know it’s late, but I had to do it” I am emotional, I can’t even. The room is beautifully filled with flowers and roses “shall we go in” this looks just beautiful and the song, walking inside slowly. It’s like we are entering an enchanted place, it’s just beautiful “two doves, oh my god” I pointed staring at the two doves just on a branch “they so beautiful” turning myself around looking around every inch of the room, how did he even do this “the erm, the number of red roses here in this room is the same amount we have been married, every rose represents every day we have been married” Chris said, and I am even more of a wreck. I am trying not to cry but I think I will be failing at this soon, slowly walking further in. It’s just the music and the whole set up “butterflies!?” I spat, he is has really gone out of way “I wanted it to be authentic, you know” one just flew by me “this is so fairytale Chris, oh my god” looking up at the ceiling, it’s just pure beauty “I think you need to be my creative director” Chris laughed out, I wasn’t even joking “oh wow, Dennis is here” I laughed, of course he is here “so we can have the memories” he is right, we do need it.

The violinist did amazing “just bought me flashbacks to the best day” smiling at her as she shyed away “thank you” I said to the waiter “now wait a minute” I pointed, Chris laughed “my life wouldn’t be worth living if I didn’t” Chris laughed, this is so sad of me, but I know my waiters “Giorgio Baldi, I swear I could cry right now, wow. Am I predictable or something, like you are just hitting it every time, I am over the moon” the waiter laughed and finished pouring the wine “thank you” I smiled saying “my pleasure” he walked off “so have I done good?” pressing my lips into a hard thin line and then nodding my head “I am over the moon” I have to admit, it’s just so beautiful “good, I am happy you said that because not going to lie but when I was thinking on what to do, I kind of got stuck thinking on what to do so yeah, I am happy you are feeling that way. I know we have a lot to speak on and I want to be the one to start first, but we shall eat first and then I can speak on things, but I didn’t think you would come. Just because you have been off with me, and you have been going out more too” I chuckled “yeah, I uhm. I just didn’t want my mother to know in a way, not in a bad way but she clouds my mind, parents” I laughed “yeah, my dad is the same to be honest so I understand but I wanted to be truthful to her, because she would have come to the home and then be like where is my daughter” I get where he is coming from.

This whole setting is beautiful, with the violin and the whole things. It’s beautiful “look at that” turning my phone to Chris, a butterfly flew onto my plate. It was so random, it’s just there at the side “that is dope” bringing my phone back, I am going to post it on my story. It’s so pretty and it’s not moving “how is your album coming along? I mean since I haven’t been around you have been working hard on it?” locking my phone and placing it at the side of me “great, I must say this whole situation gave me so much fuel and inspiration. The music is based off your shit” Chris groaned out “my god” he said “yeah, it’s funny because the producers are like what the fuck happened but the album is kind of done, I just need to do a few more songs but thank you for the inspiration” Chris rolled his eyes “I am not sure if that is a good things but I am glad that you have had that inspiration to sing about what happened, I am kind of scared now to hear it. Just because I know the meaning behind it, my fault” he doesn’t even understand how much inspiration I got from this “I can’t wait for you to hear it, I think you are going to hate it or love it.

I can tell Chris has a lot on his mind, I know my husband. He is preparing in his mind, he shouldn’t feel like that he should just flow with it and say it “thank you” I broke the silence between us “thank you for this, the whole meal and the whole set up. This is what I wanted for my anniversary” Chris grinned “so you coming home now? I am joking” he sat back in his chair “I am finding it really hard right now, like not in a bad way but just to explain how much I fucked up. I am so dumb, imagine doing that to anyone let alone Rihanna but I am sorry, I will forever be sorry for this because I let you down in a big way, something I said I wouldn’t do but I did, I am so sorry Robyn. I was so lost in the glamour of Drake and his lifestyle, I was so lost in the fame, the fun that I put that as a priority and left you behind, when he called I was gone, I did think he was a friend and when you told me that, I saw that as you just breaking that up for me, like a threat. I know niggas see you as a lot, meaning sexy and whatever, I know there is a lot of men that would take my place, I know they will and I know I could lose you, there is always someone there and that is because they find you sexy. I know it, I see it constantly and you’re with me so it’s like what the fuck, but you are. And when you mentioned about Drake, it triggered it. I just got uptight, I always know you are better than me no matter what you say, so you saying that I just thought she wants to break something good for me, a friend. I didn’t think he was like that. And it looks so bad because I did choose him over my own wife, I look like a clown, I am a clown. And my mouth, it just runs. When I am in the moment I can never stop, and I don’t ever think either. It’s never ok to disrespect you the way I have, I wouldn’t let a nigga do that to my own daughter but here I was doing it to my wife, missing out on things. I am stupid but then the whole shit with Rocky, I was already like that. But now I think, it was all planned. Everything, he did it all on purpose but then it exposed that you are still messaging him, and I didn’t know, I looked stupid” his voice broke “I am sorry Robyn, I am really sorry. I just miss you so much, I miss you in the home, it doesn’t feel right at all. I just want you to know how much I feel bad about everything, I treated you like shit really badly and you still were there for me in a way, but I don’t deserve you” Chris wiped his eyes.

“Robs, we got a meeting in five minutes,” Beverly stated as she stood beside Robyn’s desk.

“I know. I’m trying to find the vendor file for Albert’s. Question? Did you move some of my stuff off my desk while I was gone?”

“I unpacked that box that was delivered the day your boyfriend came by and moved some of your files to your inbox but that was it.”

“What was in the box anyway?”

“This,” Beverly pointed at a large marble figurine that was now sitting by her phone, “I left the card it came with in your top drawer. I’m surprised you didn’t notice it.”

“I’ve been on Zoom conference calls all day. I haven’t had time to look at my phone. It is beautiful though.”

“It is.”

“Did you read the card?”

“Thought about it but it seemed like a personal gift.”

“Well thank you for your restraint.”

Beverly laughed, “We need to get going to the meeting. I got paper copies of the presentation slides and of the vendor file, we’ll have to find the original later.”

“Works for me.”

Robyn grabbed her iPad and followed Beverly to the conference room.

“Just something for you to always remember me by and to brighten up your desk. Love you. Christopher.”

Robyn smiled as she read the words of the card. Chris got her a just-because gift. And it was expensive as hell, going by the price on the internet when she researched what the figurine was. It was a marble statue in the shape of two non-descript bodies, one male and one female, entwined with each other. She didn’t see one that looked exactly like the one Chris gave her so it seemed to be custom. She picked up her office phone and dialed a number. It rang for a few moments before she heard a voice, “Hello, Professor Brown speaking.”

“Professor Brown? I kind of like the sound of that.”

Chris laughed, “Hey Baby. What’s going on?”

“Nothing much. I just wanted to check on you. How are you?”

“I’m good. Getting back into the swing of things.”

“Regretting teaching for the summer yet?”

“Actually no. I got a pretty good set of students this summer. I’m happy about that.”

“That’s great but I wanted to thank you for my gift.”

“You finally opened the box?”

“The day you came over for lunch, I completely forgot about it. Bev unpacked it while we were in Pennsylvania. Why didn’t you say anything about it?”

“Because it was a gift, I didn’t want to assume you opened it already and then ruin the surprise.”

“I guess. Is it custom?”

“It’s one of a kind but I didn’t have it specially made. The artist doesn’t do mass production.”

“Well it’s beautiful. What made you pick that one?”

“It just seemed like something you would like. Was I right?”

“Very right. What you up to right now?”

“Just finishing up a lesson plan. Why?”

“You gonna be in your office for a while?”

“Maybe a few more hours. I got office hours this afternoon.”

“Cool.”

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing. Just wondering.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Well I just wanted to thank you for my gift. I gotta finish up this proposal and take a nap.”

“You’ve been doing ok with working your normal hours?”

“As long as I sneak a nap in, I’m good.”

“Alright Baby. Finish your work and get some rest, I’ll see you at home.”

“Ok. Love you.”

“I love you too, Baby. Bye.”

“Bye.”

They hung up. Robyn glanced at the clock then looked down at the proposal on her desk, “that can wait until tomorrow.”

She logged into her computer system and pulled up the online order form for her favorite restaurant.

“Somehow I just knew you were gonna pull up on me,” Chris said as he opened his office door. He took the large cloth bag from Robyn’s hand as he leaned in to kiss her.

“I wasn’t going to but then I said what the hell, I haven’t seen your office yet.”

“You haven't?”

“Nope.”

“That’s crazy. I thought I brought you here before but regardless, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too. I needed to get out of the office.”

“Tough day.”

“Long day. I was gonna just take a nap and get back at it but I decided to just take the rest of the day off.”

“My couch is very comfy if you wanna stay and still take your nap.”

“I’m not trying to crowd your space, I just wanted to bring you something to eat for a change.”

“I like you in my space though.”

Robyn playfully rolled her eyes as she sat on the edge of his desk, “so what’s the lesson for the week?”

“We are working on basic scales on the piano. This is my beginner’s Piano class that I’m teaching this summer.”

“You teaching composition classes?”

“Not this summer. I didn’t want to teach anything too complex. Beginner’s Piano lets me relax a bit because if I don’t want to teach, teach, I can always give them practice notes and they can do that in lieu of class.”

“Ah, good thinking.”

“I have good ideas sometimes.”

Robyn chuckled, “so when are you gonna play for me again? It’s been a long time actually.”

“Well after lunch, I could take you to my classroom, I keep a keyboard in there for illustrations.”

“I’d love to.”

“Great. So we’ll eat, I take you around to see some stuff then we’ll go to my class.”

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dada!”

Chris pulled his attention from Robyn moving around the kitchen to Christian sitting on his lap. He carefully fixed his elongated curls and kissed his forehead, “what’s up, Baby Boy? Daddy not paying enough attention to you.”

Christian poked out his bottom lip and Chris chuckled, “your sister’s been teaching you a lot more than I thought.”

“Did he hit you with the pout?” Robyn asked with a laugh.

“He definitely did.”

“I took his teddy bear this morning and he did it to me. Isn’t it cute?”

“Yea until he realizes it’s power.”

Robyn laughed, “like Anesa has with you.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “whatever.”

“Our daughter has you wrapped around her finger and you know it.”

“She’s just like her mama.”

“I am not spoiled.”

“Yea. Right.”

“Well if I am spoiled, it’s your fault.”

“Whatever.”

Robyn chuckled, “you decide what you want for dinner?”

“Isn’t it a little early?”

“I’m in a cooking mood so I’d rather start while I feel like it.”

“I can cook dinner, Babe.”

“I know but I’m not asking you that. I’m asking what do you want to eat for dinner?”

Chris raised his brow at her and Robyn settled her hands on her hips as she tilted her head at him, “problem?”

“Nope.”

A big smile came over his face and Robyn’s brow furrowed in confusion, “why you smiling so wide?”

“Just realized something.”

“Something like?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Ok,” Robyn said softly, “you know what you want?”

“Oxtails.”

“Yellow rice or rice and peas?”

“Rice and peas.”

“Macaroni and cheese or cabbage?”

“Can you do both?”

“Yup. Dessert?”

“I’ll make it. What you thinking?”

“Apple pie with ice cream sounds good.”

“I can do that.”

“Good. I’ll get the oxtails started and in the crockpot so you’ll have your space for whatever you need to do.”

“Check and see if there’s any ingredients you need, me and the kids can go to the store for you.”

“I should be good. I did want to ask you something.”

“Anything, Baby. What’s up?”

“Do you have any friends?”

“Are you serious?”

“I’m very serious. I never hear about any or see you leave to hang out or anything.”

“I do have friends but we all have busy lives so we don’t get together as much. Also I did leave most of our friends behind in LA.”

“Do you ever regret leaving LA, separate from the divorce?”

“Honestly? No. We lived there for a long time so there’s not much I missed while living there. You?”

“I don’t know. I think we spent so much time together and traveling all over the place, LA was a home base but it wasn’t home, if that makes sense.”

“I get what you mean. You ever think about going back?”

“I’ve thought about going to visit but never actively made plans.”

“We should take the kids. Go to Disneyland, show them my other profession.”

“How is the firm doing?”

“It’s going well. I haven’t had any fires that needed to be put out so other than occasional conference calls regarding budgets and project approvals, I’ve been pretty hands off.”

“You ever thought about going back to being an architect?”

“I get the chance to still be a part of the industry being on the board so I don’t feel like I totally left in a sense.”

“Understandable.I also need to know if you’re going to my gala with me.”

“Of course. I’m your forever date, remember?”

“I don’t remember agreeing to that but ok.”

Chris shook his head with a laugh, “there you go being stubborn for no reason.”

Robyn laughed, “I’m just saying that I don’t remember saying that.”

“OK Wife.”

“Ok Boyfriend.”

Chris stuck his tongue out at her while he stood up with Christian in his arms, “I’m gonna put him down for his nap then I’ll be back to help cook. Don’t start without me, I need to see how you cook these”

“Oxtails are not difficult to make.”

“For someone who’s been making them most of their life, of course not.”

“Am I giving you a cooking lesson?”

“You could call it that.”

“I think you just want to be up under me.”

“Up under you and a whole lot more.”

“You lucky he’s still an infant and not repeating you just yet.”

“I got some time before we have to start speaking in code.”

“You’re silly.”

Chris left down the hall while Robyn began rummaging through the freezer.

“Ok, you can put the peppers in now,” Robyn instructed as she glanced over into the crockpot. Chris gathered a pile of chopped green pepper and dumped them into the vessel, “those aren’t chopped too big?”

“Nah, it’s gonna stew for a couple hours so they’ll break down. If we diced them to start with, they’ll disintegrate by time the food was done.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

“So what exactly do you know how to cook?”

“Anything as long as I got the recipe.”

“You don’t cook from memory?”

“Some stuff, mainly stuff I’ve been eating the majority of my life but everything else, I need a recipe.”

“And here I was all impressed, thinking you were cooking from memory or something.”

“It was still good though.”

“It was but we’ll work on that part.”

“What part?”

“Learning to cook from the heart and not from a cookbook or Google search.”

“That sounds way easier than it is.”

“I think you’ll catch on quick. So earlier, what was that big smile all about?”

“What smile?”

“When I was asking you about what you wanted for dinner.”

“Just reminded me of when we were first married. You get pretty feisty once you get comfortable with someone.”

“I’ve always been comfortable with you.”

“No you haven't, especially since we were kind of pushed into the next step of the relationship before either of us were ready.”

“What you mean?”

“We had only been seriously dating for a few weeks then suddenly we’re moving in together. I’m sure that was not part of your plan at the time.”

“I honestly didn’t have a plan. You were the one ready to get married again.”

“Getting married again and having a baby are two totally different plans.”

“Another baby wasn’t in the plans?”

“Considering your age, I wasn’t exactly sure if you wanted to try for biological children, that’s why I never brought it up.”

“We never talked about kids?”

“No. Nesa asked you about it once but other than that, the discussion never came up. And that was before we were even dating.”

“We didn’t talk about a lot of stuff.”

“Not exactly my fault though.”

Robyn cut her eye at Chris and he shrugged his shoulders, “you had me walking on eggshells and you know it.”

“That was never my intention.”

“I know.”

“You know you could’ve broken up with me at some point.”

“That was never an option.”

“Why?”

“I trust you and your judgment, you know when you’re tripping and will adjust accordingly. It’d be stupid as hell to break up over something that’s easy to fix.”

“I guess.”

“Did you want to break up with me?”

“I didn’t even want to get back with you in the first place, remember?”

“Actually you did but you were afraid to, not the same thing.”

“Fear was the reason. Not dating was the action. You and your semantics again.”

Chris laughed as he grabbed a bottle of juice out of the fridge.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’re being feisty again.”

“You’re annoying.”

Chris chuckled as he walked over to her and leaned against the counter next to her. Robyn rolled her eyes as she placed the seasoned meat into the crockpot and put on the lid. She set it to high then turned to face Chris, “so what do you wanna do until dinner?”

“Let’s keep talking about this feisty attitude of yours.”

“I’d rather not,” Robyn pointed a wooden spoon in his direction, “and if that smirk turns into a laugh, I’ma pop you in the head with this spoon.”

“Now you’re threatening me? Oh, I should definitely start planning our wedding.”

“You get on my nerves.”

“And you love me.”

“You’re just a glutton for punishment.”

“Considering I dish it and don’t take it, I will disagree with that.”

“The lies.”

“I got some clips that say otherwise.”

“Shut up.”

Chris took a sip of his juice, “if you were to get married again, do you want a wedding or just a reception?”

“Neither. I’d rather just skip to the  honeymoon.”

“You wouldn’t want to celebrate?”

“Been there. Done that.”

“Wouldn’t hurt to make new memories though.”

“I just don’t want the theatrics. An uneventful proposal and marriage day works. Simple works just fine for me”

“Really?”

“Yea. What? You over there taking notes?”

“No, just asking questions.”

“I already know you’re gonna propose to me so you don’t have to play coy.”

“I’m not proposing tonight therefore I’m not playing coy.”

“Would you want a ceremony?”

“Something simple to mark the moment, yes.”

“Hmm…”

“Why you say it like that?”

“Just thinking. You wanna take a nap? The babies are still asleep.”

“Sure. Bedroom or couch?”

“Couch, it’s closer to the kitchen for when I gotta periodically check on the food.”

“Works for me.”

“When are you gonna make the pie?”

“About two hours or so before dinner, apple pie is better when it’s warm.”

“That’s true.”

“You gonna help me bake?”

“Considering my dessert resume only has pound cake on it, I’ll learn from you.”

Chris smiled then took another sip of juice.

“You and these damn smirks. What now?”

“Feisty then submissive. Just observing.”

“I am so over you right now.”

Robyn tossed the kitchen towel she was holding onto the counter and left out the kitchen with Chris’s laughter following her.

                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Chris, what are you doing here? I thought you had a class today,” Robyn said as she opened her office door. Chris held up a to-go bag from her favorite BBQ place and smiled, “I came to have lunch with my wife and today’s my free day, remember?”

“It definitely is. Well, this is nice. I was just thinking about you.”

“You were? About what?”

Robyn shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed napkins and plastic utensils from the basket underneath her coffee table. Chris sat down on the couch next to her as she handed him some wet wipes.

“Nothing specific. You just crossed my mind.”

“Should I be concerned?”

“Have you done something concerning?”

“No.”

“Then you don’t have to be concerned.”

Chris rolled his eyes and Robyn laughed, “forever the smart ass.”

“You asked. I answered. So what did you bring me to eat?”

“Chicken, hushpuppies and macaroni and cheese. Oh, and a Pepsi.”

“You are ruining my diet.”

“You aren’t on a diet.”

“Precisely my point, I can’t start with you feeding me like this.”

Chris laughed, “you don’t need to diet. As long as your doctor says you're healthy, the rest is welcomed to stay.”

“You just like my fat ass, you can say it.”

“You already did”

Robyn gasped and hit his arm, “you weren’t supposed to agree.”

“That ass is fat. I don’t know how you meant it but I know how I mean it and it’s perfect to me.”

“Whatever.”

“Do you really wanna lose weight or do you think I have a problem with your weight?”

“I don’t think you have a problem with my weight, considering how you always rubbing on my butt, hips and love handles, I’m getting the sense you’re enjoying it.”

Chris grinned at her and Robyn rolled her eyes, “but I’m still personally on the fence about it. I’m not as self-conscious but I’m still getting used to it.”

“Understandable. Well, since we’re talking about things you might still be on the fence about, I figured I’d get this question out of the way.”

“I know you are not proposing to me right now.”

“And if I was?”

“Chris, I am at work and sitting in front of you with Bbq sauce all over my hands and maybe on my face.”

Chris smiled as he used a napkin to wipe the corner of her mouth, “and you’ve never looked more beautiful to me.”

“This can’t be the moment. This is ghetto.”

Chris laughed, “This is not ghetto. This is real. This isn’t about having some spectacular story to tell because I think everything about our journey has been spectacular. I’ve always wanted to believe that you’d come back into my life and for seven years I was deathly afraid to but God and fate saw fit to bring you back to me in a manner that I never imagined. It gave us both clarity and allowed us to remedy a situation that honestly never ended, it just stopped. Robyn Rihanna Fenty Brown, I would be honored if you would be my wife again.”

“Oh my god, I need a napkin.”

Chris chuckled as he grabbed some wipes and gingerly wiped her hands, “better?”

“A little. I still think this is a bit unorthodox but...I’m completely ok with it.”

“Anything else you’re completely ok with?”

“I would absolutely love to marry you again.”

Chris grabbed her face and kissed her deeply before hugging her tightly, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now where’s my ring?”

“I don't have it.”

“How you gonna propose with no ring?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t get a ring. I said I don’t have it, meaning it’s not on my person.”

“So where is it?”

“You got it.”

“How would I have it?”

Chris smirked and Robyn hit his shoulder, “Christopher. Stop playing.”

“I’m not playing. You have your ring.”

“I did pawn our last ring.”

“I know and I wouldn’t use that one even if you did still have it.”

“Chris, where is my ring?”

Chris wiped his hands then walked over to Robyn’s desk and grabbed the new marble art piece that was sitting beside her phone. Robyn’s brow furrowed as Chris brought it over to the coffee table. She became more confused as he turned it upside down and pulled out a silicone plug. He shook it lightly and something wrapped in a white cloth fell into the palm of his hand. He placed the silicone plug back then set the art piece down on the table before turning to face Robyn. He carefully unwrapped the white cloth and a large marquise shaped diamond set into a platinum band that was covered in smaller circular diamonds glistened in his hand.

“Your hand, please?”

Robyn shakingly put out her left hand and Chirs slipped the ring onto her ring finger, “Robyn Fenty Brown, will you marry me?”

She nodded her head as she wiped the tears from falling down her face, “Christopher, it’s so beautiful.”

“I did good, huh?”

“You did but how long was that ring in that piece?”

“Since the day I mailed it to you.”

“So what would’ve happened if you proposed somewhere, not my office?”

“That was never the plan.”

“You planned this? I am not even dressed up or nothing.”

“Because I wanted it to be about us, not fancy dinners and stuff, which there is nothing wrong with, but we’ve also done that already. I thought you would appreciate me not making a huge spectacle of it.”

“I do but I’m also a little caught off-guard.”

“You just knew I was gonna propose in front of the Empire State Building or something with fireworks, huh?”

“I was anticipating it.”

Chris laughed, “are you happy?”

“I am very happy.”

“Good.”

“We’re getting married again?”

“We’re getting married again.”

“EEK!” Robyn squealed as she jumped into his lap and kissed him, “I love you, Christopher.”

Listen to Chris Brown - Before The Party (Mixtape), an album by DJ strike, LLC on #SoundCloud