#chriannaff

I am so unsure on how I should feel today, I am meeting my dad at the house I bought him. I really feel like turning around and saying to him I want my house back, but I won’t, I am not like that. I am just too kind for all that, I hate that I am always too kind for that, that I can’t just turn around and say give my home back. I should say that to him and give it to someone that is more worthy, but I will give him that gift I guess, I need to cut him off and never look back. I have been ever so happy here in Barbados, but this has been hanging over my head, something that I need to do. My dad thinks that I am ok with him, thinks I am ok with him forgetting my daughter, acting like I care for him and his new bitch, this is what gets to me then I just want to rip that home away from him but then I will look bad, he will come at me for this and I don’t have the patience to start going back and forth with him, I want to move on with my life, I want to move forward with the future I have that is so bright and waiting for me to just take with both hands, I can’t wait to be a boss bitch without having to sing on a stage “you look so stressed out” Chris said, looking up at him “you are just sat there staring in the mirror arguing with yourself” Chris made his way around me, he stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He gently massaged my shoulders “I am just going through scenarios in my mind, things I want to do and say to him. The things I want to do is the main one, I want to just take the home back from him, he doesn’t deserve it but then he will bad mouth me” I shook my head “you want me to come with you” Chris keeps asking that “no, I will do this alone. This is me and him, I want to ask him why, he won’t let me ask why because he will be busy watching you and attacking you but thank you” Chris wrapped his arms around me, kissed the side of my face “I am here for you, you can do this. I know you got it, you need to close this chapter” I know what I have to do, but it’s just doing it.

I just love being in Barbados and seeing my whole family together, all the smiles and loving jokes. This is my peace, this is where I can come home and find myself “sis” Rorrey came up to me “can I sit” he asked pointing at the couch “of course” I pointed shuffling up on the couch, Rajad is also with him, my brothers look like they have been discussing some things “we know you are doing to see dad, we want to come too” Rajad just said it, I had to smile “everyone wants to come with me, maybe that was my issue. I needed to do it myself, I need to stop being protected. This is between me and dad, not you two also. You both don’t need to cut that off with him, I am not asking that from any of you. I am cutting him off on my side, I don’t want anything to do with him. I don’t want anyone to be there” Rorrey put his head down “but I hate that you have to be alone in this, we got you. We know how much dad has upset you” smiling lightly “I know, but you boys can always speak to him, just me, this is between me and him. He really hurt me by not asking about my daughter, Rylee didn’t deserve this at all. She needed the love and prayers in that moment, but Ronald gave me nothing, just that he is taking care of those two bitches” I don’t even know the girls and I hate them “sorry you have to go through this” my brothers are sweet, they try.

Staring at my mother, waiting for her to leave the kitchen. She is taking her sweet time, but she keeps talking to Clinton, I want to talk to Clinton, she needs to move “how are you Robbie?” my mother asked, smiling at her lightly “erm I am ok, nervous. I will be going soon though, don’t miss me too much” I joked “oh I won’t, you will be ok Robyn, I know my daughter will be ok. She is a strong girl” I just want my mother to go “oh Clinton don’t go I have to ask you something” he was about to walk off there “I am going to see to Rajad, he’s not well” nodding my head, my mother always takes her time doing things, like just go please “is everything ok?” Clinton asked turning to me, just checking that my mother has gone “erm can you come with me to see my father?” I asked, Clinton looked taken aback by what I asked, “I know that everyone wants to help and wants to come with me, but Chris is going to be on one, my mother doesn’t need to be there, and my brothers don’t either, I rather you come with me if you can?” I don’t want to put him on the spot so I will ask if he would like to come or not “I don’t mind at all, if you want me to come with you I will” he is so sweet “thank you, how are you going to get away from everyone? They are going to ask” Clinton paused to think “I will tell Joyce truth and then just say I am going to lay down for a while” that is a good plan “thank you so much, I think I just need a person that doesn’t have no opinion on anyone at all” Clinton’ smile is so warm, he is the best.

Clinton has already left and is waiting in the car for me “you sure you don’t want me to come with you? I promise I will be quiet, let me come with you” shaking my head “thank you poppa but I rather do this alone, I will be ok. Just take care of Rylee for me” Chris poked his lips out as he came into me and hugged me tight “I don’t want you to do this alone but what can I say, I love you so much. You are a very strong woman” Chris is being so sweet “I love you too Chris, I will be back before you know it, I am not going to waste too much time on him” moving back from the hug “you are so sexy” I sniggered “nigga, if you don’t do something cute for me while here I am not going to have sex with you” lightly hitting his chest “you can’t help but have sex with me, you literally always want it too!” side eyeing him as I walked off, Chris grabbed my hand and yanked me back “I want you so bad again” here he goes again “put her down” Joyce is always there, Chris groaned out “how do you always see this, you are so annoying!” Chris spat, he did let me go “I love you poppa” he got in trouble, good that he did “I love you rabbit” making my way out of the house, it’s about time I get this shit done with.

Staring out of the car window, I kind of regret my dad a home now. Maybe I should have listened to my husband, I Say to him that he should listen to me, but I should have listened to him in this, he was right “should we go in?” Clinton said, looking over at him “I really don’t want too now but let’s do this” opening the car door myself “I shall be back soon, I won’t be long” I said to the driver as I got out of the car, I just know that my dad has the fucking kids and his new girls just there waiting on me, like I just know it. I am not going to cry, knowing me I probably will because that is just me. I am an emotional mess, when it comes to my family I end up being this way, I just get emotional, but I will get through this. Looking behind me to make sure Clinton is there with me and he is, making my way to the home. You know what angers me the most, now thinking of it they are reaping the benefits of my fame, fuck this shit. Knocking on the door and stepping back “you are very nervous right now, just relax. You got this” everyone is saying the same thing to me, I got this. I know I got this, but can I contain my emotions “Robyn!” my dad half shouted as the door opened, I smiled at him “hey” I won’t say dad “come in, come” he stepped to the side, walking inside “you bought your bodyguard with you” furrowing my eyebrows “that is my father in law, show some respect. Come” I just had to check if my dad didn’t close the door on him “oh yes, sorry my eyesight” he is a fucking liar, his eyes are fine.

I just knew it; I knew this would happen. I knew they would using this home as a family home, look at this shit and these stupid people in my home “Hi Robyn” I know she didn’t call me Robyn “Rihanna, don’t call me Robyn. I don’t know you like that” my dad got in my eye view “please they have been so excited to meet you Robyn, say hi to them” I know he is lying “first of all I came to speak to you, I want you to get out of my face and get these people away from me before I get real nasty up in this place so I suggest you do it now” my dad knows I meant every word “then we can go to a different room” pulling a face of confusion “no, I am staying in this room. They move” walking by him, who he think he is. Asking me to move, he can fucking move them I am sick of being the fool. Sitting down on the couch, I am in a bad mood right now. Looking over at Clinton “come” waving him over, I can’t be angry at Clinton at all. He is so sweet “that is more like it” he said sitting down next to me “I am feeling extremely annoyed so yeah, we won’t be here for long” I said to him, I won’t be staying any longer than I should.

My dad finally sat down; he took his time coming back actually. Only good knows why but I think it’s those bitches in the other room complaining but honestly it’s got nothing to do with them what’s happened between me and my father, even though I would like to say it to them too. My dad is here smiling like he’s done something good “I am so happy Robyn, to see you” how can he even be happy to see me when I am staring at him like I hate him “what happened to checking on my daughter?” glaring at him in anger, I want fucking answers about that “I didn’t want to be there and another one making it hectic for you, I know all the family was there for you. You were too busy Robyn so I left it, I didn’t mean it in a malicious way at all, I promise you now I care so much about my grandchild” I can’t believe he is flipping this on me “no dad” shaking my head “this is on you, you do not care until you want something from me. I am not going to start going on a rant about how much of a liar you are because you know it, I know you know. You do not care about my daughter just like you don’t care about me” my dad is taken aback by what I said, I can tell on his face “don’t speak like that, I was so happy to have a daughter. I do care for you, it’s me that changed your diaper when you were a baby” he retorted “you were also the man that beat my mother up and used the money that was supposed to be for us when we needed food, that also happened” the room fell awfully silent, we are both just staring at each other.

My dad feels uncomfortable, I can tell he does but I am glad he does “throughout my life you have done nothing but hurt me, hurt my mother, hurt my brothers. You are a fucking hypocrite, and you want to call me and tell me you are taking care of some girls that aren’t yours! Playing happy family with some other children when you can’t even take care of the kids you got now! You want to act holy now!? You want to be in my fucking life now that I have money, use my name, sell stories about me. I was fighting with my own husband because I didn’t want to believe, I just wanted a father, I just wanted to be loved by you! I look at you now and I hate you, I really hate you. I could have lost my daughter, I needed you then. I needed you to be there, but no! I got a call about you wanting to marry some bitch! You think I care? You’re a loser dad, you’re a nasty loser that spent his daughter’ money, money we didn’t have on booze! Your past is still in your face no matter how much you run away from it Ronald, I cried. I mourned you! To me now, you’re gone. I don’t need you, I thought I did. I really did think it, but all I got was used” silence, that is all I am getting from my dad, I mean what can he say, there is nothing he can say “I am sorry Robyn, we all make mistakes. What I did in the past was a mistake” I sniggered shaking my head “hitting my mom was never a mistake it was a choice; I saw it all. Thank god Chris loves me because I don’t know how to love a man, thank god Chris is patient with me. Thank god I now have such a good male figures in my life because I was damaged goods and that is because of you!” I pointed “I don’t want nothing from you, I want you to delete my number. I don’t want you to ever speak on my name because I will fucking sue you so quick. You can keep this home, a leaving present from me, I can live without it. I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear you anymore” getting up from the couch “Robyn please don’t do this, I am so sorry!” he spat, this is what he does “your sorry doesn’t work anymore, just like my mom left you. I am too” he doesn’t deserve me.

I breathed out as soon as I got in the care, I didn’t breathe I don’t think. I was trying to keep my emotions so much inside of me that I just let out and now I can breathe, the car drove off and I didn’t look back at all. Flicking the tear that fell, I did it. My chapter with him is closed, I am done, I am over it “proud of you” looking away from the window and at Clinton “oh yeah, sorry I have been just zoning out but, he was still the same man that has been playing me, that has been not really caring for me. Did you see his attitude?” Clinton nodded his head “he doesn’t deserve a status of a father or even a man, I am sorry you had to see these things but it’s time you moved on and have a happier life, you deserve that. I think you took him by surprise because he is used to that weak Robyn, but he did it to your daughter so that pushed you, but we move, don’t we? You are better then that and it’s hard to close any chapter on a parent” he is right “thank you, just your aura being here really strengthened me. I just wish I had a better dad; you know but it’s life. I just can’t wait to go home and hold my daughter” I didn’t need this in my life, I didn’t need my dad being dragged behind me now I move on to a new era of my future.

Chris is just sat on the bed watching me get ready, I can’t believe Clinton wants me to take him around Barbados, I find it odd that he hasn’t asked his son but then again who would trust Chris, he would get them lost but I am super excited to take my father in law out “you know I like it when you got your toes painted white” looking down at my feet and laughed, he’s such a feign “please stop” I giggled “I’m just saying so you wearing a body chain? For what? You’re going to impress my dad that much?” This is what I mean, he has been watching me get changed for what reason “trying to make you my step son” I pointed as I walked by him, he launched himself towards me and held me close “Chris!” I spat, his tight grip around me, he isn’t going to let me go clearly “take it back” he’s so annoying “what if I don’t? What if I mean it” let me stop fighting him, wrapping my arms around his neck and then sat on his lap facing him “you got panties on?” He is checking everything “a thong, how you miss that?” I questioned; Chris lowered his head trying to look between my legs “don’t be so rude!” I spat, he is annoying “I like this though, body chain on means sex right?” I shrugged smirking “could mean anything really” I am not giving in “but it does though!?” He spat “mhmmm I want you to do something cute for me while we are here, maybe a nice little time away? Then we can think of sex, yeah?” Chris rolled his eyes, as he does “fine” Chris bought his head closer to my chest and started pressing kisses to it “I love you” I mumbled “you think I look cute then, I thought I would wear this dress, I was going to go bikini but it’s the father in law” Chris lifted his head up “I don’t trust you now that you said you would make me your step son” I snorted laughing “boy please, don’t be dumb. I am excited to take your dad out, I’m thinking on what to do though” I was going to get off Chris’ lap but the grip he has on me, he doesn’t want me to move “anyways Robyn, wherever your heart desires” Chris got up from the bed and swung mr around, throwing me atop of the bed, I yelled out “Chris!” He is not shit at all; he isn’t going to let me go.

Swatting his hand away as he pinched my butt, he already got me feeling weird, him and his quick sex bullshit “I am so sorry” I apologised to Clinton, it’s his son. Such an ass, I got all dressed nicely too but I had to rush to get ready “it’s ok, I will be back. Robyn is showing me Barbados” he explained to Joyce as he got up from the couch “oh that is nice of her, well you both have a nice time together now” shrugging Chris off of me, he is here all on me. Looking behind me glaring at him “stop” I said, I am trying to be strict on him, but I want to laugh also “go there now” I pointed at the couch “go and take care of Rylee now, I am over you. Erm yeah we will be back soon, I will be around if you need me” Joyce winked at me all excited, I laughed “don’t go too far now” my mother is forever worrying “I won’t, actually. Chris, you didn’t give me a kiss bye?” Chris’ mouth fell open in shock “you literally told me to go and sit” he groaned out getting up “she got him by the balls” Mel said watching us both “always, he knows that” Chris wrapped his arms around “I want that time away with you, it better be cute too” I said in his ear “no need too now, I’ve had the P, sucked the nipples I’m good now” he said in my ear “I swear to god” moving back from him to look at his face, he thinks he’s being clever “I swear” placing my hands on his chest “you swear what?” We both laughed “don’t play me like that” I shrieked out as Chris nuzzled my neck “get a room, boo!!” Mel spat “stop it now, let her go” Joyce said, he’s cute. I will give him that, side eyeing him as I walked off.

I wasn’t expecting this, I wasn’t expecting to be showing Clinton around, so I was a little shocked that I am, so I had to think on the spot and what better then to take him to my home, he’s like a father to me so of course I want to show him where I was being bought up and how I lived, just like I did with Chris. It’s weird because I feel more nervous bringing my father in law here then I did with Chris, it’s weird to feel like this “just here” I pointed seeing my home, I always get so excited to be here. This is my home, Westbury new road smiling to myself feeling so giddy “very small” Clinton said “I mean the street it’s just a small road with homes” nodding my head still looking out of the window has the car slowed down “thank you” I said jumping out of the car. I hope Clinton likes it where I am taking him “watch out” turning to him as he came out of the car on my side “it’s ok” holding the car door open, I can’t stop smiling “thank you sir” he said to the driver “he will be waiting with us” closing the door, smiling at the kids playing. My heart just being here, this is me. This was me just playing around “so here we are” my hands behind my back with the biggest smile on my face “it’s nice, it’s very loving. You can see the love, all of the smiled around. The people are lovely” nodding my head agreeing “it is, I would be running up and down this street barefoot. A little girl with big dreams, I wanted more for myself and for my family. So when I put myself forward for the exchange, mom wasn’t happy” shaking my head “I can imagine, your mom is loving and very strict. She doesn’t play around so I am shocked she let you go” looking up at Clinton “I begged a lot, I remember that night I told her it was a straight no” I chuckled “I remember your little face coming to the home the first time, Chris mentioned he had a friend. Robyn, can she come over. I teased him now, I said is that your girlfriend and I pointed at him, very stern because my son plays around and that day he came home, and I got a phone call too, so I was angry at him. He said straight no, that is not my girlfriend, but she is nice, and I think she needs a nice family to know, a black one. You were with a white family so yeah, I met you and I thought awwww bless her” I giggled “I was scared of you, sorry” that is not a lie “until I realised you was a funny guy, very caring but this is my childhood home, my whole heart” we stopped outside the home.

I am just realising that this place is not being lived in, I can tell. I frowned and then seeing this man come out with a paintbrush in hand “oh wow” he said in shock “what is happening here?” I asked, where is that family gone “I am painting” he said shocked, like he doesn’t know what to say “I can see but why? Nobody live here?” I asked “they moved; the government moved them. They live close by; I have to do this” I don’t get why “this is going to be Rihanna Drive” letting out an oh, that is right “they are honouring me, sorry” I apologised, turning to Clinton “they are honouring me here” I forgot “that is amazing Robyn, you have really done so much for your home country. You have put Barbados on the map, when I think of Barbados I think of Rihanna, that is how big you are and you are with my stupid son but that is amazing, what an achievement. I am so proud of you, I have been proud of you since I saw you on the TV, I am very happy for you” he placed his arm around me “thank you so much” he going to get me emotional now “I hope that boy treating you good” turning around, oh my neighbours are all coming out “he is, this is his dad” making my way over, she remembers Chris of course.

I was of course going to bring him William’s bar “no” Clinton said sternly “I will pay, I got this” my smile grew “thank you” I breathed out smiling “I will wait outside then” that is so sweet of him to buy me a drink, he didn’t need too. Making my way outside “Rihanna, can we have a picture” I knew those kids were following me, stepping outside smiling “mhmm I am not sure” sitting down on the step “oh please” they are so adorable “come here, as long as you all give me a kiss on the cheek” all three of them got off their bikes and attacked me “hey” I laughed nearly falling back, I giggled as they battled to kiss my cheek “ok ok, ok. Stop, now who got their phone” Clinton came out seeing these kids “me! I got it from my mom” he held the phone up “your mom about to beat your ass, can you take the picture for us” I asked Clinton “of course” the kids looked at me “who that man? I thought your husband white?” I snorted laughing “that is my father in law, and my husband not white. Cheeky” pinching her cheeks, Clinton took the phone from him “ok smile at the camera now, and then you go home and give the phone back” wrapping my arms around them “ok smile now kids” I smiled wide as Clinton took the picture “awww what a cute picture now, I love it. Here you go Young man” he passed the phone back to him.

Sitting outside with Clinton as we drank the drinks we bought from William’s “I want to retire to Barbados; you think Chris will do that? I am mean not yet, of course not as of yet but in the future. You think he would do that for me?” Placing my drink at the side of me, looking over at Clinton. I turned a little so I can see his face “my son will do anything for you” he smiled, he said it with such confidence too “you think?” I said confused “my son is a pain, I know he is, and I can openly say that he is a pain, he is what he is. But you have always been the love of his life, he loves you so much and he would move here for you” that is nice to hear “Chris loves you so much, I promise you now he worries about you. Don’t ever let the things that have happened cloud that judgement because he worries about you, he is hurting for you about your dad. Chris will move here for you” placing my head down smiling a little “I do love him too” which I do a lot “but tell me about you, what is next for you? I want to know about you, forget my son” I chuckled looking up at him “next for me is my album, the whole fall out with Chris inspired me” I laughed “it drained me but inspired my music so much, and it makes me laugh to think back to it but everything about what happened to us you can hear it in the music but it’s my album, tour and then while I am doing that I am working on Fenty Corp and that is going to help run my clothing line, beauty, lingerie. Whatever I can get my hands on, I will be dipping into it. I will build Fenty from ground up and everyone will be eating, and my kids, kids, kids will forever be good in life. But that is my outlook” I smiled “big dream, and I couldn’t be happier, for me now. It’s continue my part time work and retire in VA” he is such a calm man “you ever thought of moving out of VA?” he shook his head “but then I see this beautiful place, and I can see myself being here, but I have my daughter and grandson at home. I want to just grow old and be here for my grandchildren, I just want to watch them grow up but like I said to Joyce, I feel we are far from them, but we have Tootie at home, so it’s hard. But yeah, just be an old man now” he laughed which made me laugh “my door is always open for you, I think Chris is wanting to move to New York too, probably keep the home in California as a holiday home so you can always stay there, quit the job” he shook his head “I like to hold my own a lot, also gets me away from Joyce. Oh we have our disagreements still, women” he sounds like Chris there.

I knew I should have taken Clinton to a more local food place but here we are, this is the third picture I have taken with a tourist here, I am sick “do you ever get sick of people wanting picture or rudely taking picture of the low?” Clinton asked, nodding my head “somewhat but what would I be without them, I tend to like come to places that are more local but I wanted to bring you to somewhere more classy” he shook his head “you shouldn’t have, I am an easy going guy. I have enjoyed spending time with you, just seeing how you lived. I have enjoyed listening to you. I want to know you’re ok, I have known you since you were a teenager and I am glad that I did, nobody knows that ide to you. How are you feeling? My son did mention something, your sadness towards your father. I never really known the background of your father, I met him of course but we kept it mutual. He seemed to be very kind to me but only you know your dad” nodding my head agreeing “yeah” I dragged out “I envy Chris, he has you as a father. The best father figure” I complimented “why envy Chris, come on now Robyn. I am here for you as much as I am there for him, I am a phone call away” licking my lips putting my head down “that is so sweet” looking up at him “thank you” I breathed out “I uhm, I just can’t understand why he can’t just I don’t know, spend time with me like you are with me now, and I feel so happy that you are but also I don’t get why my dad can’t just say that, it’s been hard for me to accept that my dad isn’t the man I thought he was, I actually knew that. I did, but I wanted him to change, you know?” Clinton sat forward “oh yeah, you see the good in people, you always want the person you want to change but sometimes they can’t be helped, and you do need to let them go” don’t I know it.

Clinton has really made me happy but he just brings the things I crave, not in a bad way but that fatherly love “my dad has been the worst person in my life, this is why for my daughter I would do anything for her, I want her to have the love I didn’t get from her father. This is why I am saying it to Chris, my dad hurt my mother so much. Mentally and physically and I hate talking about it but he didn’t want to know me until I made it, I was then his daughter. It hurts to speak on this but it’s what I need to say to him, you did it to me but not my daughter. He didn’t check on her, I could have lost my daughter. He has sold stories on me, spent money of mine. This is from when I was in America, that time when I was coming to your home, and when Chris would buy my lunch. The time when you was assuming Chris was buying cigarettes and booze, he was buying my lunch” Clinton nodded his head “he admitted to me and that is when we wanted to do more for you” I hate talking on this “he wasn’t shit then and he isn’t shit now, I then thought to myself I can never love, then it affected me when I would date. I feel like the respect wasn’t there for me, I was pretty fatherless but my mother, she is my rock. She loves me, builds me up” Clinton has such a warm smile “she is a beautiful strong woman, I have enjoyed my time with her. I think you both are very strong women, dominate. And it happens when women like yourselves don’t have a man to help them in life, my daughter is always forever calling me and she knows I am there when she needs it, this what happens when women don’t have that man to lean on. I think personally you both have done amazing, I have said it to Monica, and I will say it to you again, I am he if you need me whenever. I think your brothers have been affected too, I feel you will grow once you but that line with him though. He shouldn’t be allowed to even have that power over you. I want you to be strong and face him” Clinton means that “you think I am strong enough? I get weak” I said “I think you are, I can see in your eyes that you have had enough, come here” Clinton got up from the seat gesturing for a hug, getting up from the chair “let me hug my daughter” hugging Clinton, I was waiting for him to finish it off and say daughter in law but he didn’t, a little sob left my lips “you’re a good woman Robyn” he said, my heart right now.

My smile grew, just being back in Barbados really just makes me happy. My home, my country. I feel so much at peace too when I’m home, I am just glad to be back and to be with my family so I can heal from the bullshit. I am not happy with how things have been, how I have been, and I’ve not been good. Just catching up with calls, texts and emails let’s just say Tina and Jen have done their best. Nobody knew mentally I was going through some shit, besides Chris, that is because I rather be with him than anyone else. I knew in my heart that Chris would have protected me at all costs; so yes I made sure that if I am having this breakdown that it was with the man I love. I would be lying to myself if I wasn’t nervous when I said what I said to chris, I wasn’t sure if chris was going to decide to stick by me or go his own way, I would have let him go but I would be extra hurt by all of it. I am just so glad to be in Barbados, our first night here and my mother should be arriving today, I am so nervous for her arrival because she is going to be doing the most, I know my mother. She’s going to be telling me how bad I am, but she isn’t wrong either, I was being selfish, or I wasn’t thinking but I was going through a breakdown, she needs to understand that part of it but we are here, I am here with my family. Rajad is here, so is Mel, but the rest of the family will be coming today, soon actually. I think the best thing I can do is clean the house for my mother, I am awake early anyways. I am awake reflecting on life, reflecting on things I have done wrong. I just need to see my dad, get that already dealt with but it’s been the most painful experience for me, to mourn a father I’ve always wanted. I wanted that, I wanted a dad that loves me, but I am over it, I will be better than ever. Walking back into the bedroom, I have been on the balcony taking in Barbados, my home but I need to start cleaning. I’m home now so I need too, looking over at Chris asleep in bed, I swear that husband of mine knows when I have left the bed he’s on his stomach laid out in bed, all comfy too. He looks happier anyways, looking over into the crib and my daughter is asleep still, both of my babies are at peace anyways.

I feel much happier, content I would say since I have mourned what I didn’t really have, it’s a hard pill to swallow and nobody will really understand what I went through because it’s my issue, it’s my pain. I hate that people think that I should accept and get over it, that doesn’t make sense to me at all. Why should I accept, why should I just not mourn something I have wanted all my life, it’s my right and I hate that my mother is going to say I taught you better than that, she’s gonna say it and I know it but I am cleaning the home, I hope the cleaning makes up for it, I appreciate my mother so much so what she has to say I will need to accept and let her say it, she will say things to upset me but she does it because she cares, I know she does care about me and I appreciate that so much. I just need to close that chapter in my life, I want to move forward with my husband and child, I want to know that I did try with him. My dad did this to me, but we will see what happens “kind of turns me on when you’re cleaning” looking up from the floor, Chris is awake holding Rylee “so you like me on my hands and knees?” He’s an ass “a little, why are you scrubbing? Since when does a millionaire do this?” Chris crouched down to me “since I have a mother that is backwards and would still beat my ass” I laughed “that is kind of funny to hear but you need help?” Shaking my head “I don’t, I mean I could have got cleaners to come but I want my mother to feel sorry for me” I laughed hoping it worked “you’re so sly, what is she like Rylee. We are hungry by the way” side eying Chris “you know where the kitchen is, I’ll feed you. Just wait” men are annoying, staring at my face for food. He’s literally stood in the kitchen he could make the food himself, but I know that his excuse will be he’s taking care of Rylee, of course so I will leave it.

I made Chris his breakfast, like the good housewife I am. I mean it’s just pancakes but it’s something for him, he is really eating all of it up. I must have made them nice, looking down at Rylee on my lap, she keeps slapping the dining table to get Chris’ attention and it is working, Chris is giving her all the attention she wants “you want daddy attention?” Chris looked at Rylee, she got all happy smiling at him the goofy girl she is “are you nervous for your mom coming? I see you a lot lighter, like you are happy. I know Barbados is your happy place” nodding my head smiling “this is my home; I just love it. I get away from all the drama which is California and New York, it’s away from work. I am also feeling ashamed of how I was, me as a person I wasn’t good. I was being selfish of me, yes I was going through something, but I was neglecting her, you. It was wrong of me” Chris shook his head “Robyn, if you aren’t feeling yourself. If you aren’t happy and you are depressed you ain’t going to be the person you want to be, I mean yes you could have dealt with this in a better manner, you could have said I want to go away for a while, but you didn’t. It happened, but I don’t want you to be ashamed of yourself or anything ok?” Chris is too good “thank you poppa” I said in a whisper “I think it’s something we both needed, we needed to learn. I got you, I see a brighter future for us, I feel we are going to be stronger then ever. We are all human so yeah, let’s just move on. Let’s do this together, we are just going to grow as a family anyways so yeah, be strong with maniac Monica” I gasped “Chris” he isn’t shit, but my mother can be like that.

I thought I would continue my cleaning; Chris is spending time with Rylee so here I am doing this kitchen still. I am honestly trying to get on my mothers’ best side, it’s not even the point that I am scared of her, I just respect her. She has been the best mother she can be to us all; she has tried to protect me from Ronald, but I never listened, that is just me. Stupid me I guess “I love Barbados Chris, of course I was going to come. I love it here” my ears perked up; they are here. I am nervous “yeah, well the maid is here. Don’t mind her mother, she is not in a good mood so please don’t look her way” Chris is an ass “oh the maid, she was lovely the last lady we met” I swear Chris can be so annoying “I know, she is cute though. Like honestly, she is so sexy, don’t tell Robyn that” they are taking their time to come in “son, what did I say. Don’t say these things” Joyce gasped “Chris, you are so stupid. Clinton he is being stupid” rolling my eyes “that husband of mine” walking around the counter “awww you’re cleaning, it’s so good to see you” Joyce came to me and gave me the biggest hug, I love her hugs “same, I am glad you both could come” moving back from the hug “you didn’t need to clean for us, come here” Clinton hugged me, I always get all giddy inside when Clinton shows me his caring side, a father figure to me “how are you feeling?” he asked, nodding my head “I am getting by, I am happy you are all here” I mean that too.

I am wondering where my mother is, everyone has come to the kitchen now to see me. I am here looking a mess for sympathy “why do you look a mess?” Mel asked staring me up and down “oh don’t pay her any mind, I mean we know what she can be like” Chris will not drop that, I think for me that is a good idea and it worked, he is a hater “what is the joke?” Joyce asked, I chuckled looking at Chris “nothing” I giggled and then busted out laughing “you!” feeling Chris’ arm snake around me “you are a pain in the butt” I am not going to lie but I find it funny “awww well I am glad you are laughing, whatever is funny to you both” Joyce is confused clearly, lifting my head up “home sweet home, I am glad to be back” oh my mother is here “Robyn was cleaning” Mel side eyed me and walked off “I love your home so much” Joyce complimented “you ok the both of you” my mom looked at me and then Chris, she is checking her kitchen out. This is her baby right here “Robbie can we talk” those dreaded words “oh goodie” I said under my breath “oh but you’re not dressed, you haven’t even washed your wash because you have been cleaning” looking behind me at Chris trying to make out I have been that hard at work “the dining table isn’t clean” my mother pointed out, looking back at Chris again, I told him to bring the plates “you!” I pointed at him, he laughed pointing back at me, looking ahead at my mom feeling like a naughty school child right now.

I am going to be not weak; I need to just take it and accept what she will say or not say. She may just be sad for me or be very angry and say how useless I am, but we shall see “I have missed Barbados” closing the door behind me “I have been wanting you to come home too, I am glad to have my daughter home” smiling lightly “yeah” I dragged out, this is so awkward because I just want it over with “I am not going to be angry at you, I am just not happy with how you left Rylee. I have been through the worst of the worst Robbie, but I never left any of you kids, I never turned my back on my kids because that is a Mother Robyn. Rylee needed you, she needed you so much no matter what the circumstances, your father should never ever stop you being a mother because he didn’t stop me Robyn, I taught you to be a better person, a stronger person. I have said and said again that man will bring you down, so what happened Robyn. What was your mindset then? Ronald is no good unless he is gaining and you know that” sitting down on the couch “I do but it wasn’t just that mom, I had so much more going on. You know I did; he just broke me, and I needed space that was it” I said defending myself “that’s it huh? You were acting crazy, and I did not raise that. Ronald doesn’t deserve this from you” now I am getting sad, putting my head down “he has always hurt me, I just wanted a dad” placing my hand over my mouth, trying to supress my cry “I know that I know what you want but he is no good to you. I am not going to shout at you, but I want you to be stronger than that, you don’t need to act that way, you’re a married woman and a mother. I just want you to be the woman you are, I am so glad you have a husband that is supportive of you. He was straight there on social media supporting you, I don’t want you to be drinking either, none of that” nodding my head, I know that this could have been worse “I am going to confront dad, I need to close the book” my mother looked at me in sadness as I looked at her “I am sorry baby” that was it, I am crying now “I just wanted better mom” she came over to hug me.

My mother pressed a kiss to my cheek “now you don’t worry about that man, let’s spend some time as a family” nodding my head “I will, thanks for not going full throttle on me” I know she could have been worse, my mother chuckled “get yourself out of those clothes, you not no cleaner now” I think it worked, she did feel sorry for me. Walking to the living room, I can hear everyone talking here “hey” looking at Chris, he is checking me out “I am alive” I laughed it off, my daughter is the most excited thing. Since she has been not well I feel like my daughter has lost her weight, I hate that for her, but she is still my little chunky “you good?” Chris asked, taking Rylee from Chris “yeah I am good, you happy to be home” pressing a kiss to her cheek “I was thinking we should try for a boy, what you think?” I huffed out side eyeing Chris “boy please, talking about a boy” walking off with Rylee “I am being deadass” sitting next to Mel “I think someone is asking for sex more then anything” I know what he is asking, I am not that stupid “I don’t think so, tell him Rylee. Say no more siblings, leave mommy alone” turning her to me “oh my gosh, you look so damn cute” standing her up facing me “you think she has lost weight; she has hasn’t she? It’s when she was unwell” she was my little fatty “she really has, but I won’t front. You both do make beautiful babies, so you need to reproduce again” rolling my eyes, I don’t need Mel agreeing to him.

Mel is bringing Rylee to us in Vegas, Robyn is not wanting to see anyone really. I feel like Robyn is feeling ashamed of what happened, I do not blame her for it because a lot has happened, but I need to explain to her the stories going on too, tapping on the picture Mel sent it made me laugh “have you seen what they been doing for Rylee?” turning my phone “she has been missing you so they got your worn top so she can hold to soothe her” Robyn looked up at my phone, Rylee has a real grip on it “she is coming now, she will be here soon” placing my free hand on her lap, Robyn put her hand down wanting to cry her heart out “I am such a bad mother” moving my phone back “no you’re not, Robyn it happens. Everyone makes mistakes, every parent does, I did. Rylee won’t remember that she only remembers the good times ok? Stop it” reaching over and wrapping my arms around her “she loves you so so much, she loves you that much she knows your touch, that is all. She will be back with us soon and it will be back to normal” I said to her in her ear “I fucked up Chris” she sniffled “I just fucking didn’t think of anyone but myself, I just was thinking of me. I just got sick of thinking of others but Rylee, she doesn’t deserve” moving back from the hug “and that is fine, but you know you will need to see people eventually you know that right?” I said, she nodded her head “while we are on the subject I need to explain some other things that happened while you were in this moment” Robyn groaned out “I just know I have been getting recorded. I am just fucking stupid; I am just angry at myself. I need to realise that life isn’t what it was, I can’t just do as I please you know” she sighed out “I am listening, what did I do?” licking my lips, she needs to know.

“So what happened was we were having disagreements, I was personally trying to help you and get you back to the room, but you weren’t having it, you didn’t want to know but I was trying my best with you. We got in the elevator, and I mentioned that I am not your dad which triggered you, I don’t blame you why it did, but it trigger you, but you hit my shoulder. It wasn’t even a big deal, but you were very angry, well someone sold it to TMZ, your name is on the blogs and everything, but I dealt with it, I said it was just a playful thing. Robyn and I was just having fun, y’all are assuming things on my wife, she isn’t like what you are saying” Robyn shook her head “why does anyone want to honour me when I am like this, I am sorry Chris” she apologised, frowning at her “hey, don’t be sorry. Honestly it’s fine, it’s life. Things like this happen and I do not blame you or pointing fingers at you or at what happened so please don’t say sorry, I want this to be a learning curb and we can grow. I love you” I know she is stressed out “just let’s get Rylee and we can go to Barbados, and we will heal together ok?” Robyn came over to me and held me, wrapping my arms around her torso “I have so much going on, I just needed you” Robyn honestly needs me, and I feel it, I always thought she never needed me, but I am so needed by her.

Robyn fell asleep hugging me, like she just knocked out asleep. I didn’t expect it, but she did, she has been doing so much shit that she has tired herself out. I laid her down on the couch and put a blanker over her, this is the most silence I have got from her, I am happy she is asleep. I didn’t think at first she would have slept but she did, maybe she needed some comfort. TJ is calling me, I need to deal with Black Pyramid, I haven’t even told him that I am moving onto Fenty Corp, and I want him to take over pretty much “yo” I answered his call “don’t yo me nigga, just joking. I am in Cali with Deja, we are just doing some store spotting, try and open more stores and having some meetings, you want to meet?” I laughed lightly “nigga, I am sure you have seen the shit Robyn has been up too?” I am sure he has “uh yeah, I didn’t want to really bring it up with you” I chuckled “well I am still in Vegas, but we are going to Barbados, shit has been a mess for me. I do need to have a meeting with you about a lot, but my family comes first” TJ let out an oh “that is fine, I will wait bro. I hope she is good, when I saw the video I was like that ain’t Robyn but is she good?” pacing away from the where Robyn is sleeping “she is ok, I have really stressed her out TJ. I fucked up big time” I cringed saying it but it’s true “I was about to say, I can imagine how much that shit upset her. Has she forgiven you about it, Drake is a punk ass bitch” rolling my eyes “yeah, I just need to be here for my family, but I need to catch up with you on this business thing, I think this is something big for you. You may need to move, but we will discuss when we meet. I need to go; Rylee will be here soon and then we gone. Hold it down for me bro” they will be here soon so I want to go downstairs and see them “I will, speak soon” disconnecting the call.

Waiting in the lobby area for Mel and Rylee, she said that they have landed, and they are five minutes away. I am so excited to see my daughter, I can only imagine how stressed out she is thinking that her parents have left her when we haven’t, luckily she is at a age where she won’t remember this but I am going to change for them both, I have too. My smile grew seeing Mel with Rylee in the car seat, she has it covered. Getting up from the couch, she hasn’t seen me right now, but she will. Jogging a little towards her, she placed the seat down because that shit is heavy, so I don’t blame her “hey” I waved, Mel looked and turned around “oh there you are” I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I just hugged her “a hug?” she said confused, I chuckled “man, you have been there for me a lot thank you” moving back from the hug “is she asleep?” Mel nodded her head “yeah, she really enjoyed the car ride and fell asleep with her mother’s top on her. How is my friend?” Mel asked “she fell asleep, she is feeling awful right now. I don’t want to keep saying that she has done wrong, she is not looking forward to seeing Monica either” Mel laughed nervously “oh god, she is going crazy. When I said we are going to Vegas and Robyn doesn’t want to see you yet, she wasn’t happy so they are meeting us there” picking the car seat up “cool, as long as Monica can be supportive of Robyn. I understand she is concerned and wants the best, but she can be overbearing, you know?” walking off “very” I really don’t want to step in when it comes to Robyn and her mother, but I won’t have the disrespect.

Crouching down to the car seat, pulling back the blanket from the seat. Rylee is really asleep still and she is holding Robyn’ top, I didn’t think they was being serious but they are, she is missing Robyn so much but she is asleep, they both are “I want to scare her ass awake, laid out here like a damn angel” I chuckled, Mel is side eyeing her “she was acting a whole crazy ass person but I am glad you are here, I feel like she wouldn’t have stopped, I know my friend and she would have continued to escalate and not stop” walking slowly towards Mel “she is done with him Mel, she said she is mourning him so you know she is done and good on her, it’s about time she gets rid of him and just live, you know? We all saw it, even I did. He made out I was after her money, when all along it was him. He is bad, I don’t know why she asked for my dad too, I told him, and he said of course, I am unsure, but I asked my dad to take her out, I don’t know. A father, daughter thing” Mel cooed out “she will love that, she’s always wanted a father’s love, awww” Mel cooed out in awe “no, that has really made me emotional. I won’t say a word about it but that’s cute, oh yeah you are recording that video about Robyn was good of you. I think it put the water over the fire, even though you didn’t know if Robyn was going to do anything more you still did what you had to do for her, that was good of you” I smiled a lightly “I love her, every part of her. You know like you go through that moment in life, I did. I went through it in my marriage which yes was wrong, but I went through it and” shaking my head “nobody is Robyn, she is the best so yeah, I will do anything to make sure nobody talks shit about her. She needs to wake up though” placing my hands on my hips “she does but we can wait” we can, they are here now anyways.

I can’t stop smiling at my daughter, she is awake “you got your hair all nice, did auntie Mel do this for you” sitting on the floor with her “did Mel do that for you pookie, I missed you so much. I did, yes I did. Oh wow, you are sitting up like this now. You going to let momma top go or no?” she is just staring at me “don’t worry, I am here now” wiping the side of her mouth, she has just woke up, so she is a little taken aback “the love she has for Robyn, it really warms my heart. I don’t blame her, you know what, I say this to her. She is a great mother, but she doesn’t think it at all” she is holding onto Robyn’ top for dear life “huh” looking over at Robyn, she is awake “oh if it isn’t the crazy bitch” Mel said, Robyn shot up “oh my god” picking up Rylee from the floor “pookie is here, she comes with your damn top” turning to her, Robyn is sat up frozen with her hands over her mouth. Rylee’ is smiling that much her pacifier has come out “my baby” Robyn shot up from the couch, Rylee finally let the top go as she waved her arms about “oh my god, Rylee” Robyn took Rylee from me and held her close “she is home, she has missed you rabbit” seeing the happiness on my daughter’ face from seeing her mother really has made me happy “I am so sorry” Robyn sobbed out “I love you so much, I missed you so much” they have reunited and I couldn’t be happier.

I’m sick of her drinking, I am that so sick of her drinking that I am here drinking the shit for her because I don’t want her to come out of that bathroom and finish it off. I cringed as the cocktail tasted not nice at all, it’s strong actually but I am glad that it’s gone. She is still in that bathroom, hiding away from what I said about Rylee and it’s nice to see that she cares, that Rylee is really on her mind but is blocking that thought away by drinking and doing these abrupt things, she does love her, and I know Rylee is missing her, a lot. I don’t know what to do to get her reunited with her, I feel like when I took Robyn out she just escalated, it was the trigger moment for her where she just wanted to be like this, I hate it but what can I say, sitting on the edge of the bed and answering the call from Mel again, she is so good to me and even Robyn, just here making sure we are proceeding how we should with dealing with the issue “is my sister ok?” Mel asked, “I think” looking at the bathroom door, I am going to whisper, “she is in the bathroom, and I was speaking about the past us, she was so quiet and listening to what I was saying and then she kind of was taking it in and was ok, then I spoke on Rylee, and she didn’t like it, upset her a little” chewing on my bottom lip “you hear that?” Mel said, trying to listen what she is trying to point out to me “what is it?” I said a little confused “listen carefully” I can vaguely hear “Rylee crying?” I said, I think I got it right “yeah, so like since Robyn and you haven’t been here she has been very upset. This is why Monica is losing her patience with Robyn. So I was trying to think of a better way to calm her down, I went into your bedroom and found a top Robyn worn and put it against Rylee and let her touch it, she can smell Robyn. Like it really played at my heartstrings seeing it, I got emotional seeing it. I think Rylee is missing her mother a lot, but we are trying over here, she needs to snap out of it but I also don’t blame her, she is going through it” this is not good “thanks Mel for everything, I will do my best” the bathroom door opened, she finally appeared out of the bathroom.

Robyn wants to go to the club still, she is still getting ready and me, I am just trying to get Robyn to not go. It’s hard because she is adamant in doing this, clearing my throat standing behind Robyn, she caught my eyes in the mirror “you look beautiful” Robyn put her head down “there is a but, I can tell” Robyn seems not drunk, like I can tell with the look in her eyes and her whole persona “were you sick?” I asked, she nodded her head “fair play to you though, for actually playing me. I didn’t think of that, fucking me and knowing I will fall asleep, shows I am just so easily pleased. Yeah there is a but, can we talk or?” I dragged out; my phone started ringing. I groaned out, everyone is calling me because I turned her phone off, I have a feeling Robyn is going to talk but this shit be getting in my way, it’s my dad this time “hey” I answered “what is happening Chris? Rylee has just come out of hospital and both of her parents are in Vegas? I don’t know what to say” taking in a deep breath, Robyn is going to dip on me “yeah, working on that. Just don’t worry, I got this” disconnecting the call “you can go back to Cali” Robyn said, shaking my head and turning my phone off now, I am just needing a clear mind, people’s thoughts and questions are clouding it “I choose you Robyn, I always will. You look beautiful though, how about we go to dinner instead. Forget a club” I wonder what she is thinking, she seems calm “sure” she has taken the gesture, I think she wants to be out, that is all.

I don’t want to irritate Robyn; I don’t want her to be all uptight, so we are having wine, but she isn’t downing it like she is usually “you are being sick a lot aren’t you? That sick when you have too much booze is always horrible, burns” I am making conversation “I have lost myself” Robyn’ voice broke, she put her head down and then stopped speaking to gather herself “I hate myself for letting myself get to this point, but I also feel so lost, it’s so refreshing to just not know where you are. It really is when you don’t want to face the truth. I have let so many people down Chris, I am a mess, and I don’t want that, I am hurting. I am sick of being hurt. I think” she stopped speaking staring off into thin air “my dad just broke me when I was already there, I have so much going on in my life. One thing after another, and another. It’s hard to be the strong one when I lost someone that was my backbone” she stared at me “sorry” putting my head down “you always felt you wasn’t worthy, you weren’t this and that. You aren’t on my level, but you are literally the person I do look too, speak too, confide in and I had to resort back to Mel, I may be Rihanna, this confident top bitch or whatever but I’m not and I look to you for things. You weren’t there for me until the moment I was broken because my daughter was going through that, I just think there is so much drama going on and it gets all on top of me, it just broke me. I just didn’t need to hear my dad be that way, I have been putting it to the side, I try and try but it just broke me. My mother looks at me and she is looking at me like, you can’t even take care of your daughter? I feel she is disappointed with me; I have my husband that rather be elsewhere, I got my dad that rather play dad to daughters that aren’t even his and sees me as money bags, I have my management asking me for an album when I barely got over giving birth. Then my daughter was not well, I can’t chase you Chris, if you want to have freedom then so be it. Even if you divorce me you will get money, so you don’t have to worry, we ain’t signed a prenup, but I rather you do it now then later. I can’t deal with the outbursts, that I belittle you. I will let you be free; we can split cordially” furrowing my eyebrows, she is really coming at me, I think she means it “I know you’re confused thinking wow; she is speaking like this. You’re right, I have Rylee that adores me, I needed this break away, and I feel I have made more mess than I should have but we all go through a little breakdown now and then” nodding my head, she is right because she has taken me by surprise.

Leaning against the table “one minute you are wanting to go clubbing and now you’re speaking like this?” I am confused, she is staring at me dead in the eye. She means this shit, I can tell “because I had a mini breakdown, doesn’t mean I am going crazy. I just liked the feeling of being free, but I am starting from you, I want you to choose Chris. I don’t want this again, I don’t want this to come full circle where you say to me that I wasn’t being a good wife to you and I didn’t make you feel like a man, or that I am too much for you because I mean we both do love each other but we both did change too, we grew up and that can change our likes and dislikes towards each other, you love Robyn but you don’t like or even love Rihanna and with you I am in love with that man I knew and when I see that side to you I don’t like it but I think if we both can’t accept that side to us and want to work on it then we can’t be like this, we both married each other because we left off where we ended but we not kids anymore, and I am saying this to myself too. I have things I need to clear up Chris and this, with us. I need to deal with it and I will never hold it against you if you was to leave, I may have been a mess but I am not stupid. Rihanna is never stupid” nodding my head, I can agree on that “well you did pull that move on me, shows you are and were aware” Robyn supressed a smile, didn’t want to laugh but that shit was so sly “one for the books” she added, nodding my head, clearing my throat “food is here” we can eat, hopefully gather my own thoughts. Rihanna is very sly, like she isn’t the one to mess with because she is aware of her shit and she chooses to be that way, I am learning still with everything.

Robyn and I ate in silence and have come back to the hotel, a very calm Robyn this is but the paparazzi are here now, they have found out where we are because I mean Robyn has been doing the most and she doesn’t know her ass is on TMZ acting a whole fool, she doesn’t know that one. Passing Robyn the water she wanted “thanks” she said, walking around the coffee table “you haven’t said anything about what I said?” sitting down on the chair, sighing out “because I am processing a lot, you know how much I thought I was losing you. You were acting out but then now seeing you like this, it’s like you was aware of what you were doing?” I am just registering all of it “somewhat, I just didn’t want to feel, it’s sometimes best that way. You got a cigarette anyways?” nodding my head digging into my pocket “it can be, I can understand what you mean. But Rylee?” Robyn put her head down “I knew I wasn’t good enough for her, I knew her grandparents would be there, I was running away from my issues. Just like always I am back in business, what else you want me to say? Now I deal with my shit so back to you” sliding my packet to her “doesn’t have to be like that?” she shrugged “you still not helping me, answer it Chris. It ain’t hard” clasping my hands together “it isn’t, I am here because I want to be with you. Lows and highs too, like I get what you mean when you say I don’t know Rihanna, it’s true I don’t but with that persona you put on I still see Robyn, the woman I fell in love with, and I wouldn’t leave your side at all. I mean ok I was at first like what the fuck but no” shaking my head “I am going to ride for you until the wheels fall off and I mean when I am dead; I will be there period. I ain’t going, I want to be with you Robyn, I swear I am not going to do what I did again. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, I have learnt that my wife is always right but yeah, I am not interested in other women, I think it’s going to take me a couple of days to get over with the fact you put me to sleep” Robyn and I both laughed “I think we all need a break, we all have our breaking points and I think that we are moving in the right direction, we are becoming stronger. I want to support you; we can only support each other. Everything we are doing we are learning but in the marriage, I get we should have done this while in a relationship but the bond we have is bigger than anything that is why. I ain’t leaving you so that is one issue that is sorted for you, now I want you to tell me what the fuck happened? What made you do this, how did we get to this point, it’s me and you Robyn, talk to me properly” I can see how relieved Robyn is, she was on edge thinking I was going to leave her.

Robyn started playing with her wedding ring as she breathed out, she is going through a lot “I think, I was doing well. It’s a lot going on, from the point when you left because you wanted to be who are you as a person and when I started to travel, then I was recording on the go and I was recording through the night and then taking care of Rylee when I got back in the morning until Mel and Rorrey said look, stop. We will take care of her properly, just come home and sleep. But I just felt I was burdening them, then I was seeing pictures of you being you, it hurt. I would be lying to say it didn’t, then you weren’t spending time with her, I was like not this. So I was already upset, built up stress but I played along with it. I got on with it as you do, then I have my uhm record label, preparing all this shit. I was making music that is hitting home and everything was going real shit for me, then me having to prove Drake was what he was, it hurt me that you thought i was lying. Then Rylee, she drained me to the core I was going delusional and even now I feel I haven’t healed from that, I feel I am still on the boat of emotions because I didn’t sleep, her cries are still in my mind. It was the worst time ever; I didn’t really rest when we were at the hospital. My mother was getting at me, I felt like a shit mother, I am a shit mother. When my mother is being that way, your next parent is your dad. Nowhere to be seen, didn’t even come. I then called him, I called him after Rylee got home. He was so nonchalant about it, sorry he couldn’t come. He has priorities in Barbados, the lady he’s with has daughters and he said I have learnt to be a better father. That alone broke my heart, your daughter is going through that and your grandchild, your first grandchild is in hospital. He did say sorry but his girlfriend needed him, not like I didn’t then he said that her daughters would like to meet me, and that” Robyn froze, her lower lip is going “that he took the girls clothes shopping, and had the nerve to say they have no dad so it’s good I am here.”

Her voice is slowly by slowly breaking, she bit her bottom lip “what about me? He was so nonchalant about it though, thinking he isn’t hurting me because he assumes he was a good dad, he wants to marry her and said can I help pick her a ring, I said what? You want me to buy it, he laughed down the phone. Didn’t deny it. And then everything just got on top of me, I thought I would just get on with it, I would be normal, but I couldn’t” Robyn shook her head as she sobbed out, I would like to say I told you so, but I couldn’t ever. She’s a hurt girl that is hurt by her childhood because she never got that, getting up from the couch “why didn’t you tell me this Robyn, all those night in the bed” sitting next to her “come here” pulling her into a hug, she didn’t want me too at first but then allowed herself to melt into my arms to cry “I am not jealous of them but I am hurting for Robyn, the little girl that had no money, he drank my money away when I was in America. He did nothing for me, it was my mom, and he never did it for me. He couldn’t even love me” resting my head atop of hers, I am so sad for Robyn.

She really cried her heart out, like really cried. She is still crying now but is trying to calm herself down. Placing my hand over hers “don’t you think it’s time you faced him?” she nodded her head “I do, I think it’s me mourning him. I thought he would be different, change now that he is a grandparent but no, I do have a lot of issues which I know I need to fix. I just wanted to run from it but I left Rylee with people that adore her, I feel so bad and I know I have been terrible” nodding my head, she can say that again “I think we both need to talk about both of our feelings, I think we both need to have some therapy maybe, whatever you want to do but I think your dad doesn’t deserve you. And you are so right, my dad loves you like his own daughter. When we were having the disagreement, he said to me. He said she is a daughter to me, not to sound weird but you always have a father in my dad. He loved you when you came the first time at our house, don’t cry about it” she is so emotional “it’s true, I don’t want you to think you’re alone, you aren’t ever. My parents will take your side then mine, but you do have a father, you don’t ever need to look at my dad in awe, he is there for you. I am not even just saying it, it is the truth. But I think you need to close the chapter in your life with your dad. That I think is your main thing. Shit, you had your fun now so we can go to your happy place? Rylee can meet us there” Robyn nodded her head “can your parents come too?” I paused thinking, not knowing if they are busy but they will “I can ask, if not you want my dad to come at least?” I think she wants that “please” pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

That talk with Mel is something I needed, I needed to speak to someone that knows Robyn as much as they do. Mel is relying on me to bring her back, I mean I feel I can do it but then again I feel like Robyn is very much adamant in telling me to fuck off, several times too. Mel said I need to be on her level, I can’t be trying to tell her she can’t do something when she is like this. I really wish Robyn told me this, told me how she is feeling so I could help her get through it. I think Robyn felt alone, like you can have a room full of people but still feel alone and I think she felt that because I was being an idiot. I wasn’t thinking straight, I never do but that video of Robyn. I need to look at it actually, I just had a shower and got some clothes on. I am praying and hoping she is where I think she will be, I am assuming she will be in the casino and if she is with other men, I need to not bite because she is going to do everything in her power to make me get annoyed. TMZ loaded up and the first thing I see is Robyn, they are are saying she attacked me, and I don’t like that because it was never that, my wife isn’t violent. Tapping on the article, this is very much defamation of name because that is not it. Tapping on the video and waited for it to load, I am not happy that this is happening. She doesn’t deserve this; she isn’t a bad person. Watching the video and seeing that she did hit my shoulder or whatever, but she was angry that I said her dad and it kind of works out, it’s bullshit. I don’t want to tell her that this was said. She doesn’t need it, but I need to stay by my wife, she means the world to me. I have let her down, I have always known she was vulnerable when it comes to men in general and her dad, it’s crazy how much it’s affected her.

Sitting atop of the pool table, I want to address the situation because it seems like in the article it states that she was with other men, looks like I was jealous of that and we argued, that didn’t happen. It’s crazy to see what they put but I want to shut down these rumours, it’s spreading thanks to that toxic ass page. Pressing record on my phone, fixing my Snapback “what’s up, I don’t like to get involved in these kind of scenarios or politics to do with things that go on, my life or whatever but I don’t. It’s come up on that wack ass blog TMZ a video of me and my wife, lies are being told. We were talking and she did hit my arm or whatever, but it was playful, she was a little tipsy whatever. But it’s all lies, we are good in our marriage. My daughter is just better, and we don’t need to see that kind of shit, or those rumours being said, we come to Vegas to have fun. Our marriage is fine, we are good. God bless that my daughter is good so yeah, I just want to address that we are fine and that my wife isn’t the vicious person y’all making her out to be, I was fully aware she was speaking to men so there was no issues or arguments about that” shaking my head “we good over here” stopping the recording and adding it onto Instagram, adding a caption ‘y’all need to leave me and mines, I don’t fuck with the shit y’all be saying’ pressing send on the post, I will protect my wife on god, I will fuck up anyone for her, that’s my girl. Now I need to find that wife of mine, I want to call her but then I don’t think she will pick up because of my name being shown, if I don’t find her I’m gonna be panicking. I am worried for her, she is drinking and smoking so much too, like smoking excessively. I need to do this, I need to control my mouth and be there for her, she needs me, and I wasn’t even seeing it.

I put on a shirt and made my way down to reception, I need to know where my wife is and they will know, obviously they will. They see everything and they knew she was here earlier, I huffed out making my way to the reception. The lady looked at me and she was going to say hi, but I just cut her off “my wife, Rihanna? Where is she?” I sound abrupt but I am not the mood for all the nice talk, I just need to see my wife and see how she is “I can show you” why is it everyone knows where she is, is my wife making that much of an issue, this is concerning to know actually “right this way sir” walking behind her, she seems so kind about it but I am wondering if Robyn is causing a scene “is everything ok?” I have to ask; I am nervous. Robyn is so sly and is running off constantly, she isn’t just nobody either “not at all, just she was getting harassed by a barrage of people and we had to bring in extra security but please, it’s not bother” oh god, I am nervous now. Walking into the casino I can see where she is, the group is gathered and it’s not a show. I just need to not kick off either, I get very protective of my wife too “that way sir” she gestured, nodding my head walking off towards the crowd. She is on the slots machine and is being stared at by people, I dislike that because she doesn’t need all eyes on her either. Looking around and seeing phones out “watch out!” I spat, people started to move to the side and then recording me “don’t push sir” I will knock this nigga out, he better let me through right now before I cause a scene in this place, I do not care for anyone “let him though, that’s Chris” another security guy came forward, he let an oh “sorry” he let me through, nodding my head walking by him. Robyn clapped her hands together “I won again” Robyn looked at me, she is wearing my snapback “I can see” moving the snapback back a little, kissing her forehead “I can see you are winning, as you do” pulling the snapback down, looking around us, there is so many cameras around us, they have literally blocked off the whole section because of Robyn, she really doesn’t care, she is staying here and having fun “what you doing” Robyn is searching my pockets, then she dug her hand in my pocket “these” she grabbed my cigarettes “ok” I mumbled, my phone started ringing in my pocket “you good yeah?” I asked, Robyn nodded her head smiling at me. Looking down at my phone, Robyn wrapped her arm around my torso “what’s up?” I asked, it’s Mel “she is in the casino, they are tagging her on Insta” Mel is spying from afar “yeah I am here with her now, thanks. I will update soon” I don’t know what to do, there is so many people here. So many prying eyes too.

Robyn is playing Crabs, I say play she is trying her best and the whole crowd is cheering but I am so protective of her, I am just thinking on what to do. She hasn’t said much to me at all “I done good?” Robyn asked, nodding my head “always” nuzzling the top of her head, licking my lips looking around. I just hate this, it’s so compact like everyone is just here and I feel judged. I feel our marriage is being judged; I hate this. I want this to just stop but I can’t make it stop, I need to take action. I am so protective of Robyn, I feel like she is vulnerable, and I didn’t see it at first but I do now, she is so vulnerable “Rihanna, you good at playing Crabs” someone shouted, I smiled looking over at the person “I am good at a lot” Robyn said, her voice is husky as hell, all that smoking is getting to her “what that mouth do?” my eyebrows knitted together, looking at whoever said that “ask my husband, I just sucked him off in the penthouse suite” I had to do a doubletake at Robyn, the whole crowd just busted out laughing “don’t be speaking on my mouth nigga, go ask ya father” Robyn added “don’t come for me nigga, don’t do it!” everyone cheered, Robyn is being called volatile and she is being recorded shouting this, I just feel stuck on what to do “shall we go to the suite?” I said in her ear “you can get me a blunt, make me one” she turned to me, taking in a deep breath and then sighed out.

Robyn turned away from the Crabs table with the blunt in hand and her cocktail “I want to go now” when she moved the whole crowd moved with her “where you going?” moving back from the Crabs table “let’s go to the club” licking my top lip “erm” I paused, I don’t even know what to say. Nodding my head and leaning down to Robyn hugging her “how about we go to the suite, you can do your hair and stuff. Look all cute for the club” pressing a kiss to her cheek moving back, Robyn nodded her head too “you right, ok let’s go then” following behind Robyn, we can finally go to the bedroom and just talk, I don’t know how to even bring the questions up about everything. I caught some arm that reached forward trying to grab Robyn’ shoulder “the hell” pushing it away, the security is rushing us out and I just moved to the side of Robyn. She is so calm about everything; she doesn’t even care that we are getting mobbed. She doesn’t even know what is being said about her, I am here trying to save her. I just want to protect my girl, she is going through a lot and I want her to be happy, I think I haven’t helped with her at all. I am so bad, I am a bad husband to her, but she needs me to be there for her, I can only love her.

We got to the bedroom and Robyn went straight to the room, she wants to get dressed for the club. The club I don’t really want to go too, I don’t even know where to start at all. Answering the call from Mel, she has been so supportive right now. She has been ringing to check “hey” I answered “just thought I would ask how you are? You seem very nervous about this; you seem a little scared. Robyn is just closed off Chris, don’t mind her. She will break that mask; I just know her” she is so confident “can you come?” I don’t know “no, you need to be the one to do it. She do what you need to do, anyways. I got Rylee actually, she is doing so well. I am so glad to see her in high spirits” I miss her so much “thanks for checking on me, I just feel so stuck. Robyn hasn’t really let go of Rihanna; I can tell. I will go upstairs and see to her, thanks” disconnecting the call, I appreciate Mel for this. I understand what she means by she wants me to do it but I just feel like she would do a better job, I do feel bad because I know that Robyn be there for me to build me up so can’t I do this for her, how useless am I to even think someone else should do this. I don’t mean it in a bad way but it’s hard, I don’t know how to approach the situation.

Robyn being abusive as hell to me right now, also banging doors like why are you angry. Because I don’t want you to drink your life away, because I care about you. I am just watching her from the top of the stairs, I am sat on the step as she just smokes again, and again. Like what is happening, I am just confused on a lot of this situation because we went out and she drank and we had a good time but then what happened, did I trigger something. She’s very off, nothing like I have seen before. This is a whole new persona with her, and I just don’t like what I am seeing but that’s my wife, I am going to ride for her and support her and stop her from doing anything stupid. She’s not herself and I hate it, she’s smoking heavily too out of thin air. She’s in one place but is angry at me for stopping her when she is the one speaking to men, speaking to other guys here for what. I am her husband; she should be talking to me unless I missed something somewhere along the lines. My phone started ringing, I know it will be Monica because she’s been after her since I said we are going Vegas which I supported her in this, now I feel I made a big mistake, that I shouldn’t have done it. Answering the call “hi” I am going to put a poker face on and act like things are fine “why isn’t my daughter answering my calls? Where is she Chris? She is a mother, Rylee needs her. I am taking her to Barbados if she does not come home, I want her home!” I am getting threatened from every end “you not taking my daughter there, if you need to go then go home, my parents are there. I can’t make your daughter speak to you!? You know that right?” This is crazy “if she is there then tell her I want her” I sighed out “Robyn?” I shouted from the top of the steps “fuck you” that is her answer “she’s gone to the bathroom; Monica I will get her to call you soon. Ok?” I don’t know what else to do “please, just to hear her voice” nodding my head “will do” disconnecting the call and getting up from the step, I want to go home to Rylee now. I feel so bad, my daughter is back home.

Dragging my feet towards Robyn “shall we go back home? I want to go home to our daughter, she needs us” Robyn blew the smoke out from her lips “me, she wants me. Now you want to be in her life huh!? Now it suits you, now you’re not in Canada you want to be a dad!? You’re sick, you men just think you can come in and out, destroy hearts, destroy childhoods because you want fun!? Now you want to be a dad when you weren’t there for her in the first place, huh! I struggled, I was alone like a single mother while you were there out, having fun. Now you care! Nigga you’re funny” she is really biting “Robyn, like. I don’t want to argue with you but if you want then we can, you were out there speaking to some niggas. Kissing fucking dices!? Who the fuck do you think you are” Robyn put the cigarette out and got up from the seat “I’m being you!? I want to be just like you men? I am sick and tired, why should I be obliged to be at home while you did nothing, I want to know why it feels so good to leave your daughter out in the cold” Robyn and I just stared at each other “I don’t feel a single thing, but loneliness. I am tired of being there for people that take advantage of me, and then here I am being the world’s worst mother, my daughter gasping for breath. I am tired of being used, tired. What about me? What about what I saw, now you know how it feels yeah? His name is Mark, luckily it ain’t India. The one you found attractive” Robyn walked off, but I grabbed her arm “get the fuck off me nigga, I am going out” shaking my head half laughing “the hell you are, you kidding? You’re going to sleep or whatever and then we can talk, you said we need to talk more so let’s talk” she snatched her arm from me and walked off, she hasn’t swore at me but left.

I am sitting downstairs now, just because I do not trust Robyn to not go out, she is being so sly with everything. But I did need a pee break, I can hear her moving. Quickly moving out of the bathroom, I jumped back seeing Robyn in a robe, her body exposed but she has lace bras and panties on “you good?” I asked, I am hoping she has calmed down at least “yeah” she breathed out smiling “you want to talk or?” I dragged out, she came up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her lips. Pressing a kiss to my lips “hey, you want to talk? I think we should talk” she bit her bottom lip “why talk” she said before licking my lips, my mouth attacked hers hungrily, her lips opening undermine, trying to move back from Robyn but she has a firm grip on me, she is not letting me go. My hands gripped her hips, I pressed her hips tightly into me. I picked her up, my hands cupping her ass. Her long legs wrapped around me; our lips never left each other’s. I love Robyn so much; she is so fucking sexy. Pressing her covered core to my growing erection. Making my way to the bedroom, slowly going up the steps. The kiss broke, looking up at Robyn “you are so fucking sexy” she said smirking down at me.

I laid her down on the bed on her back, I undid her legs from around my waist and stood up. Robyn moved to sit up, but I pressed her back into the bed “lay down” I said, standing up. She rose up so that she could lean back on her elbows, watching me. I kissed both her ankles before pulling her high heels off her feet, dropping them to the bed. I ran my lips up her calves, enjoying the smooth skin of her legs. I let my tongue reach out to taste the skin behind her knee. She moaned, her breathing slowly beginning to pick up pace. I continued my exploration of her legs, making my way up to her lace panties. I smiled at the way the muscles in her legs tensed whenever I placed my lips onto them. I dipped my fingers into the waistband of her panties and teased them down. She lifted her hips, making it easier for me to take off. I kissed each new patch of skin that was exposed, placing deep, sucking kisses along her pussy lips. She gasped, letting her head fall back, lifting her hips towards me. Pulling her panties off her body, I tossed them to the ground. She is now naked from the waist down and I just licked my lips.

She leaned up and grabbed me, crushed her mouth to mine, pressing her naked body against my clothed one. Her arms cupped my face, holding it securely to hers. Her nipples were tight and hard as they pressed into my chest. I groaned and grabbed her hair in my fingers, attacking her tongue with mine. She moaned and I ate it before it became sound. Her hands went to my pants, cupping my erection. Moving her head back, she shuffled off of the bed and frantically pulled my pants down. She is so quite vicious, but if she wants to do this then why not. She got out my member and that was it, I was gone. She had taken my dick in her hands like it was a lollipop and crawled forward towards it, her mouth open and her tongue out. I was finished, it’s been so long since I have felt her mouth around my member “oh yes” I said breathing out, Robyn started bobbing her head on my member, I am gone.

My eyes shot open in shock “no, no please god no” jumping out of bed; she fucked me to sleep, I can’t believe that this is happening to me again. Dragging open the bedroom door and running down the steps, I am butt naked too. She isn’t here, I know she isn’t. Running back up the steps and back into the room, her stuff is here still so she is around, the casino. She has to be there again; I am going to lose my mind right now. She had sex with me and then disappeared because I fell asleep, oh she’s bad. Pulling my boxers up and grabbing my phone, I need answers right now, I need to know what the fuck I’m doing and the best person for this is Mel, she will get it, but I don’t want to say I keep losing my wife. She’s hanging with men and then saying I did it so can she, tapping on Mel’ name. She will maybe tell me what to do, I am just at a loss with everything. Pressing my phone against my ear “please tell me she is there” Mel said down the phone “not exactly” I mumbled “Mel, what is happening. Robyn has been going missing on me, she is not her. She is just angry, hurt and then pointing fingers at me, I don’t know. She’s gone missing on me again, I said to her she isn’t going anywhere, and we had sex and then she ditched me.” I am stressed out.

Mel snorted laughing “that bitch” she is laughing but is not hearing the seriousness of this situation, like my wife is going awol “so she used the charm on you and put you to sleep, she’s an asshole that girl. So where is she now? Monica is going crazy; she left her daughter like that and we all trying to say look she needs some time she’s had a lot on, and it’s just got on top of her. It’s wrong that she can’t just have her time, and by the way there is a video of you two in the elevator, she hit your arm or something. No audio” my eyes bulged out “Mel, she is on some war path. She hates me” what the fuck is happening “she is taking it really bad that her no good for nothing dad didn’t care, she mentioned it to me, and I goes look Robyn let it go, he has always been this way, but he’s popped up more now because of money, I try to say he don’t actually love you like that, but I can’t. She said when she called him, she called him and he said I want to marry my girlfriend, we are getting on so well. She is making me a better father, to her kids. She has a daughter or whatever. Robyn said she was like my daughter could have died. He said she has the best care, she is ok but help me choose a ring, she goes you mean buy it and he laughed and then after that she was angry. She started saying Chris didn’t care about my daughter she is getting same treatment what is it with men leaving their kids, why me. But she seemed to have got over it so I thought. Monica is aware because Rorrey said about Ronald. But she doesn’t know about the conversation. It’s hard because she is the only one in denial when we see it, she just wanted that love. She felt jealous, said to me I see you with your dad, daddy girl. I wanted that, I felt I didn’t have that protection. Men didn’t respect me so help me god if Chris doesn’t for Rylee I will be crazy, I said like Monica is with you. She’s going through it. Erm, shit yeah. So she is where?” I dropped the phone from my ear, my heart sank. My heart sank for her because I know how much she wanted a dad. She said it to me, she looked to my dad. She said she never got that love, just pain from the shit she seen him do, and I know she is hurting so much but I didn’t know.

That wife of mine is just a mess, that is the only words I have right now. Having to clean sick from a drunk woman or cleaning sick from a pregnant one, the pregnant one is better cause this stank so bad “god” I breathed out, seeing a shadow over me. Dragging my eyes up seeing a naked Robyn over me “now what?” I asked, I wonder what she is thinking right now because she’s been awful “you look nice naked but what is it?” I am here cleaning this shit, she is there just doing nothing “tired” nodding my head “the bed is there, go to sleep Robyn. I’m here it’s ok” Robyn draped her naked body over me, like that helps “come on now” getting up from my position and holding her “come, go to bed” turning her, Robyn giggled pushing her weight on me so I could fall back on the bed, Robyn laughed out as I did fall back on the bed and then climbed on me butt naked “why are you moody with me?” Shaking my head rubbing the side of my face “just please go to sleep” picking her off me and placing her to the side, getting up from the bed “come” turning to her and picking her up like a baby “Chris” she whined out, placing on the bed “mhmmm” she can whine all she wants but I rather she sleeps because she ain’t fully there and in a stupid mood “there we go all tucked in bed” leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead “love you” she needs to sleep it off “hold me!” She grabbed my hand, she really ain’t going to let me go “please” she whined out “I need to clean that mess, this room about to stink if not. I’ll be back” dragging my feet as I walked off, I am tired. Dealing with Rylee is easier than a grown adult, she is very needy too. I don’t mind it, she is having fun and she’s with me, not like she’s with her friends so it’s fine if she’s wasted like this.

I huffed out sitting down on the chair in the corner, I picked up Robyn’ clothing and hung them up, and the panties. I thought she lost them, but I found them, she needs to wear these when we leave. Looking over at Robyn asleep, I knew she would fall asleep. I predicted that, she played up at first of course but then fell asleep straight away. Tapping on Instagram, I wanted to post a picture earlier actually, but I will do it now. I took this in the bedroom before we left, tapping on the plus sign and then adding the picture I took. Adding a caption ‘Mean mugging like I’m ugly’ pressing post, going onto my tags. I always like seeing my tagged posts, they are always interesting to see. My eyes widened seeing all these picture of Robyn and I, oh these are messy. Tapping on the first one, the video played and it’s Robyn putting drink in my mouth from here, from that angle you can see she did that, honestly I thought she did that too but couldn’t confirm it. I have video evidence; oh this is nasty. I know they are going to be talking about the performance, backing out of the video. Seeing a picture of Robyn and I, I like that actually. I look in my zone and she has her arms around me, I look good. No wonder India was on me, I get it. Laughing to myself and reposting the post, adding a caption ‘The LOVE of my life’ pressing send, locking phone and looking over at the bed. This is painful, clenching my jaw and dragging my hand down to my crotch area, my hand it is for tonight, but I don’t mind it.

Frantically looking around the suite, Robyn is nowhere to be found. I just so happened to wake up, it’s still night but she is not here, her bag is here. Her clothes are gone too, I am just concerned she has done something stupid. She is drunk “hey, hi” waving the receptionist over “yes Mr Brown” here I am just going crazy right now because my girl is not here “look I might sound crazy but Rihanna, have you seen here come through here or leave the place” where the fuck could she have gone “she is in the bar sir” my eyebrows knitted together “what?” is she being real right now “she came down just an hour ago and is at the bar” that is crazy, running off from the reception “thank you” I shouted, the bar is open here and the music is playing but why and how did she get here, what the fuck is she playing at without telling me too. I breathed out seeing Robyn, she is here being the life of the party, how the hell did she find these people. Shaking my head as I made my way over to her, reaching over her “you have had enough” grabbing the drink, she didn't reek of alcohol, but I could easily smell her night of fun on her breath “my husband!” she spat “I want to have more Chris, stop it” she slurred out “huh” I scrunched my face up, I am there concerned as fuck and she is here but she won’t understand that “you heard me” she took a shot, a shot I don’t know where she got from “come here” I beckoned her but Robyn ain’t listening.

Following behind Robyn “Nope. I'm not drunk. I just feel gooood” She threw her hands in the air, shaking and gyrating her body to the rhythm of the beat of the music “you’re drunk Robyn please” I stated and watched her closely, waiting to see what her next move was. As long as we had been together, I had never actually seen Robyn this drunk before. So far, I find her to be a mess but funny too “Maybe I am drunk…” Robyn walked towards the bar again and fell back against it. Setting her cup on top of the bar, resting back on her elbows and shook her head, changing her mind “No, I'm not drunk…I'm just toasty…Or is it tipsy?” Her face fell into deep concentration as she tried to figure out which of the two she preferred “Toasty, tipsy. What does it matter? I'm not drunk though” Sliding back on top of the bar, she laid across the counter top. Stretching her legs out and turning on her side, she winked and smirked at me “get down, Robyn” I really want her to stop “it's my birthday” Robyn whined and rolled around, turning her back towards me “you're supposed to give me whatever I want” she stood up on top of the bar and began swaying her body back and forth. “Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl” she sung off-key, holding her drink up in the air and rolling her hips around “Robyn, get your drunk ass off the counter and let's go” I shook my head, but couldn't contain my laugh. I was definitely going to have plenty of stories to share come tomorrow.

Robyn laughed with me “I'm going to dance for Poppa, what is that song. I love it when you call me big poppa, he got a big dick that’s why he’s poppa. I love it when you call me big poppa” Robyn continued to sing. “Robyn” I said, rubbing my neck “ok, ok, ok I will get down” Robyn said childlike, she held her arms out. Helping Robyn down even though she got up there on her own “have a shot with me, then we go?” I sighed out “ain’t you drunk enough, these poor people having to watch you. These are classy people” I am shocked nobody is recording the shambles that is my wife, but it is an expensive hotel and it’s the rich here “shot for the road?” the guy behind the bar said “a long road for me, go on” shaking my head, I swear she is bad. I think I prefer the Robyn that is quiet and not being crazy like this, I can’t even front though. Robyn looks so sexy, even dancing on the bar she looks so sexy doing it, I think she knew it too.

Dragging Robyn back to the suite is actually a nightmare, she keeps stopping in the hallway, like she has now. Robyn gazed up to look me, Robyn’ eyes met mine and she touched her fingers against my cheek. She is hot, cupping my face in her hands, she pulled me towards her. Staring deep into my eyes, stumbling forward, I closed the small gap between our faces and pressed my lips to hers. Our kiss was sloppy, yet full of passion. We clung to each other, hungrily sucking on the other's tongue. Absorbing the alcohol that still lingered there. Our speed hastened as the world began to spin around us. My mind blurring and our need for each other taking over, overshadowing any other thought I possessed. My hands travelled across Robyn’ back until they reached her waist. Wrapping my hands around her midsection pushing her more against the wall, I then pulled her into me. Her dress riding up her thighs, exposing the length of her legs more when I nudged them apart with my knee. My fingers dipped below her dress and slid across her wet slit, earning a shudder and a whimper from her.

We fell into the suite, like literally fell into the suite. Dragging Robyn into the room, I didn’t want us end up being caught in the hallway. The door closed behind us, pulling her panties to the side, I pressed my fingers against her, and Robyn spread her legs further. Her own hands moved at a frenzy to rid of my overalls. Her fingers fumbled around with the buckles until she was able to unbuckle me. My overalls fell and she slipped her hands between the elastic band of my boxers and gripped my length. Moaning softly as she did, my tongue still pressed against her tonsils. Over dominating hers and swallowing each moan that gathered in her mouth. Robyn continued to massage my length, running her fingers over the veins that were pulsating out. Moving my pants out of her way, she tugged my underwear down far enough to pull out my member. Removing my fingers, I held her panties to the side and Robyn aligned the head of my dick to her opening. I could feel her heat beckoning me towards her. We stumbled backwards; our lips never left each other’s at all. We stumbled back against the mini bar in the suite, hearing the glass smash to the floor but not caring. Pressing her against the bar I finally positioned inside of her. We both broke away from each other lips and touched our foreheads together, her dress continued to ride up when I pushed her legs even further apart. Grabbing the nape of my neck she pulled me towards her and rocked her hips forward to the rhythm I set.

She felt so good around me, my forehead fell against her shoulder as I buried myself deep inside of her. Hiking her dress up further, I drove into her, thumping her back against the bar. Placing frantic kisses along the side of her neck, Robyn tossed her head to the side, her hair falling away from her neck, giving my lips more skin to touch. Inhaling deeply, Robyn slipped her hands underneath my shirt and her finger nails dug into my back. Her head flew back when I cupped her thighs and spread her legs wider, just before scooping her up and pushing into her even harder. Robyn’ body shuddered, and she clenched her eyes shut “fuck” I can feel my overalls and boxers gathered around my ankles, I am going to fall. Letting Robyn slowly down onto her feet, my dick standing to attention as I stepped out of my overalls and boxers. Taking my tee off, Robyn was already taking her dress off, now it makes me wonder. Is she actually fully drunk, now I am doubting that.

I climbed on top of the bed and pulled her towards me, turning so that my legs were spread across the length of the bed, Robyn straddled my lap facing me and pushed me back, she gripped the side of the bed and then carefully pressed her palms into my chest and rose her body up enough to position my length beneath her before sinking down on to me, feeling her inner muscles clenched around me and we both grunted out moans of satisfaction. Gripping her hips and thrusting myself forward, I laid back enjoying the feel of Robyn pulsing around me. Her soft grunts and moans were music to my ears to hear. Rocking her hips back and forth, my hands moved up her stomach, my fingers caressing her soft skin before moving further to cup her breast. Leaning forward and claiming one of her breasts in my mouth, sucking down on the pointed bud, I thrust inside of her with a vengeance, keeping up a steady rhythm going with Robyn.

I used my free hand to run down her back, tickling her spine, before cupping her ass and pulling her body towards me. Robyn locked her legs around my waist, arching her body towards me. We continued a perfect rhythm, with her legs wrapped around my body. Her hands gripping my ass, pushing me in deeper, urging me to move faster, to stroke faster. Running her fingers up the curve of my spine, her mouth fell open, forming a small O shape. Each pump, each stroke that I thrust into her caused her breath to hitch, her toes to curls, her temperature to rise and her body to tremble. Robyn cried out in ecstasy “fuck Chris!” Her warm core rippled around me, she rolled her head back and forth. My mouth on her neck, sucking and licking.

I feel shocking, it’s not even me that got drunk like that but I feel terrible. Rubbing my face as I made my way out to Robyn, she is sat on the balcony, I am sure she is sober now. It’s afternoon here too, that is crazy. Leaning down, kissing the top of Robyn’ head “oh” she looked up, catching her smoking. She is smoking, I dislike Robyn smoking, she took those from me “you good?” placing my hand atop of her head “you good?” I asked again, she is weary “oh yeah” she is rough “you sure?” moving back and sitting on the lounger “I don’t feel good, alive though” nodding my head “you sure you good?” I asked “yeah, did we have sex?” she doesn’t even remember “yeah we did” I chuckled “you don’t remember” she shook her head as she placed the cigarette between her lips “will we did baby, talk to me” she seems very deep in thought “I don’t want to go home” she said “you don’t? Why?” I am confused “I feel we haven’t had enough fun yet; I just want to be free. Drive to Vegas, have fun” licking my top lip staring at Robyn confused “but Rylee? We need to go back for her Robyn, what’s wrong? This isn’t you” she is rough “she has the best people with her Chris, I just know our parents would have her just fine, she wouldn’t have been ill. If you want to go back then go, she has you then” clasping my hands together sitting forward “what do you want to do?” I asked, she is being off “we drive to Vegas, Rylee will be fine” I paused not knowing what to say but she wants to go “ok” I just agreed “I need to get clothes” Robyn nodded her head, she is so off.