#choosinglove

It was by far your favorite. It’s not like you didn’t have friends either. You just barely had time to meet with them due to your inventions. This one was going to be the best yet. Being a senior in college meant that this was your last chance to make your name as a scientist. If you could create this, then the sponsorships and press conferences would come blazing through the door. You grin, tighten the last screw. 

“Alright!” 

All you had to do was connect the plugs and you were set. It sort of made it easier being the only one in the lab at night. No distractions. 

“Take that Jimmy.” 

You glared at his machine on the other side of the room as you showed it the finger, plugging in your own. Yes, maybe that was a little immature, but he was so conceited. Constantly boasting that he was going to create a device that could stop aging and sell to the highest bidder. He didn’t care about human life. 

Just money. 

“Moron.” 

Your invention was meant to stop terrible illnesses like cancer, cure the sick. You did want the recognition, but also the joy that came with watching a child make it back home to their family, healthy and happy. 

Exhaling softly, you moved over to the outlet to plug in your machine. The rumbling of thunder however stopped you. When the lights went out, you cursed. You couldn’t see a thing. Dropping the cord, you moved around feeling for a door.  It was weird that the backup generators hadn’t kicked in. 

There was a flicker, and you smiled when the lights above your head turned on. Thankfully it hadn’t messed with anything in the lab. You moved to grip the door and maybe find the security guard, but the lights in the building started blaring and you flinched.

The constant flicker of red was not what you expected. Your eyes moved to the glass ceiling, and the sight of a current of lightning should have alerted you to run away. But a part of you knew that if it broke the glass, that would be it. The machine you spent more than six months on would probably turn into a pile of trash. 

“Hey kid!! Get the hell out of there!!” 

The yell of the guard brought you back for a second. He tried opening the door to come and get you, but you were already bolting in the direction of your machine. You jumped at the last second, just as the streak of lighting broke the glass. The sparks struck every surface in the room and you screamed at the surge that rushed through your body. 

Your body was elevated for a second and when the lights finally shut off and turned back on, the guard could only stare at the empty room. 

That was how it happened. 

A poor choice on your part. But at the time it made sense. You were surprised that you were still alive. You could hear the beeping of machines and the faint smell of disinfectants. Your nose scrunched up and you turned your head, pressing your palm to your forehead. 

“GUYS SHE’S AWAKE!!” 

That yell really wasn’t helping. 

You sat upright groaning at the pain that ran through your body. The sound of feet shuffling finally made you lift your gaze. Your eyes were still trying to adjust to the room. 

“We’re relieved that you’re alright.” 

“That voice..” 

You knew that voice.

Why did you know that voice?

When your focus finally steadies, you were positive that maybe you did in fact die. 

“My name is-” 

“Harrison Wells..” 

He was a bit confused.

“That’s right.” 

Your eyes ran over all four of them and you swallowed, stumbling out of the bed. 

“Barry Allen, Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon..” 

They were fairly puzzled that you seem to know their names.

“The Flash..You’re the Flash. OH MY GOSH I’M IN THE FLASH!!” 

You started pacing around in circles as you continued to rant and they all turned to Dr. Wells for some kind of instruction, but he looked just as stumped as everyone else. 

“This is crazy. It’s not real. It can’t be real. That lightning, the light that’s what happened! I was struck by lightning and I’m in a coma. I must be in a coma. Either that or I’m dead. Am I dead!!? I didn’t even get the chance to have a boyfriend. I can't be dead!!!” You were sobbing now and Cisco nudged Barry.

“What! Why me!?” Barry protested. 

“You’re the hero dude. Save her or whatever.” 

Barry trailed over cautiously, reaching over and patting your arm awkwardly. 

“T-There there. It’ll be okay.” 

“Noooo it’s not, I’m dead. Why! WHY!!” 

Your wails got progressively louder and Barry took a step back to the group. 

“I tried.” 

Eobard released a heavy sigh. He could already tell that this was a thorn in his plan. The fact that you just appeared in their lab in a burst of light didn’t help at all. 

“I need to be calm and deal with this.” 

He couldn’t afford the distraction, not right now. 

He wheeled over in his chair, plastering the best look of comfort that he could. 

“We understand that you’re in a tough position. But if you calm down and explain the situation, we might be able to get you back to where you came from.” You were still crying softly, and when you looked up at him, he almost felt sorry. He held out a hand for you, and you wiped your eyes, nodding slowly as you took his hand. 

He almost jolted at the subtle spark he felt run through his hand. When he looks at you, there’s no noticeable change, so he schools his features as he guides you to take a seat. 

“Tell us what happened.” He urged. 

You finally got yourself to stop crying long enough to fully explain your situation. They sat there very attentively. It was a little hard to believe on both sides. But the alternative was truly considering that you must have died. 

“So where you’re from this all a television show?” Barry asked. 

“It is. I was working on my machine and then a crazy storm came out of nowhere. I tried to save my tech but I guess I got hit.” 

“It was reckless of you to run towards an active storm. “

Dr. Well’s words make you blush. You slide off the chair. 

“Y-Yeah you’re right. A-anyway, do you guys have ideas of how to get me back?” You avoid contact with him, and he raises a brow.

“Well your machine must have been the trigger. It might have been struck too.” 

You shook your head. 

“No, that's impossible. My machine was built to attack cancerous cells in the body.” 

“You were trying to cure cancer?” Barry asks. 

“Yeah I..I just wanted to help people.” You mutter. Barry smiles. 

Now that is all gone. Your machine was probably obliterated and you were stuck wherever this was.

“Was there anything else that could have triggered your transportation here?” Caitlin asks. 

You shrug.

“Not that I could think of. The room just had a few minor tech projects and that stupid narcissist Jimmy’s anti-aging machi..” You trail off and it clicks in your head. 

“Shit that’s it!!” 

“What’s it?” Barry question. 

“Jimmy, oh my gosh. I’m a little pissed but he’s actually a genius. He’s been working on an anti-aging programmer. Basically it superchargers the body. It stops the cells that contribute to aging and deterioration.” You run to the board set up at the center of the room as you start marking down equations. 

“I’ve been there for most of his upgrades so I know the general layout. I could build his machine and find my way back there!” 

You were practically glowing, and Barry stepped forward. 

“Whatever we can do to help, we will.” You turned to him.

“Really, you’ll help me?” 

“Of course! We’re always down to help a fellow scientist. Besides, you're trying to cure cancer. You’re awesome.” Cisco states. 

“I’ll do what I can to help.” Caitlin offers. You can’t stop the smile on your face. 

“Thank you, thank you so much!” 

You hug Barry, and he laughs patting your back. You go down the line giving them all hugs. When you get to Dr. Wells, you’re still wearing that smile. It slowly fades and you clear your throat. 

“W-We should get to work immediately. "

You made a quick turn, heading back to the board. 

That was the plan. Rebuild Jimmy’s machine and get back home. For the most part it was fairly easy. Barry of course had to fill Joe in on everything and then create a story to tell Iris of who you were. Everything felt sort of smooth sailing. You crashed at Star Labs working on your project day and night while helping Team Flash with their endeavors. You weren’t exactly hero certified. The more dangerous situations you stood at the sidelines with Dr. Wells, just observing. 

It was still weird adjusting to a show you were literally watching on your television screen. They were all just as kind and brave as their characters portrayed. Cisco was an amazing engineer. He’d helped put together the tools to create the machine. While the first few attempts were a fail, you could tell you were getting closer. You knew it wouldn’t be easy trying to invent a machine you didn’t design yourself  and you were going off your memory. Whenever you got discouraged or sulk, Barry had a way of helping you regain inspiration to keep going. 

Cisco would make jokes of what you would do when you got back and Caitlin had soft affirmations to encourage you. It was nice. You realized then that you were so focused on your tech that you hadn’t given yourself any time to have fun or be with your friends back home. A part of you just always thought they would be there after you finally made it big. It was selfish and immature. Maybe this was the reason you were here. To open your eyes in a sense. 

“Any progress Ms. (L/N).” You jumped at the voice at your door. Dr. Wells wheeled in and you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“S-Slow progress.”

You keep your eyes on the board, trying not to give too much of a reaction. 

Another issue as of late was avoiding Dr. Wells. See he’d always been your favorite character. A crush if you will. While you really admired the actor, you never truly thought you would meet him. So working in such close quarters wasn’t the best. Your solution was to avoid any and all interactions. There was no point in getting attached when the goal was to ultimately leave. You also couldn’t alter anything too drastically. 

“I think we have something that needs to be discussed. “ 

The click of the lock on your door is what gains your attention. When you turn back, Dr. Wells is no longer seated in his wheelchair, but standing at the entrance. You drop the marker in shock. 

“You’re..” 

You blink and he has you pressed to the wall. The papers in your room have scattered and you hold your breath. Back against the wall caged between his arms, you can only stare. 

“You’ve known who I am this whole time, haven’t you?” 

“W-Who you are..” 

You’re completely in the dark and it’s starting to scare you. This isn’t the man that was so compassionate on the first day you got here. Not even close. 

“Are you still going to play games?” 

He tilts his head, raising his hand, and when you see the vibrations, your heart almost stops. Those usually warm eyes light up a treacherous scarlet. You’re beginning to see the bigger picture. 

“Y-You’re the evil speedster..the one who killed Barry’s parents..” 

“Eobard Thawne, in the flesh.” He smirked. 

You feel like an idiot. You literally could have avoided this if you’d just watched the last few episodes. The realization that you might actually die here becomes very real. You sob, and he lowers his hand. You clench your eyes, waiting for the inevitable, but nothing happens. A minute, maybe two passes and you finally open your eyes. He’s no longer vibrating, but he hasn’t moved away. 

“So you really didn’t know. That’s a surprise.” He walks back, and you’re still pressed into the wall. 

You’re afraid to move. 

“Since we’re both in a bind I’d suggest we come to an agreement. You can’t breathe a word of this to Barry or the others, not until I get what I want.” 

“W-What makes you think I won’t tell them!! I could give a crap about getting home now. I’m not just going to let you hurt them!” 

“How awfully brave of you.” His tone is mocking, and he moves around the room. You know it’s more to intimidate you. 

“I’m sure you’ve realized by now that anything you do here could ultimately steer the plot off course. I initially assumed that’s why you’ve been so curt with me. If you even make a ripple, everything here, everyone you know, that you’ve grown to care about could die and it would be all your fault.”

You swallow. He’s right. You know he is. If he’s truly from the future then he has a lot more knowledge. 

“So what do you say, partner?” 

“We’re not partners!” You hiss.

This is painful. You press your hand to the desk to steady yourself. It’s all so messy now. He’s still standing there looking proud of himself and you stare right at him. 

“I hate you.” 

There’s so much spite and malice in those words, and Eobard’s smile slowly falls from his lips. He isn’t sure why he feels anything. Those words shouldn’t even phase him. But the look you wear right now is much different from the one you’ve been sending him all those weeks that you’ve been around. He turns his back, unlocking the door and setting himself right back into his chair. 

“Have a pleasant night Ms. (L/N).” 

That’s what he said. You should have expected life to deal you such a hand. Every time you got comfortable, there just seemed to be a bigger obstacle. 

You kept up the secret, even though it hurt to lie to your friends every single day. The thought of them being wiped from existence was much more painful. A part of you just hoped that the heroes would prevail. This was a tv series after all. That small glimmer of hope is what gives you the will to keep going. It was hard to explain, but somehow you knew Barry and the others would come out on top. 

One particular afternoon you were having a movie night at Cisco’s place with Barry, and Caitlin. 

“Hey, you never really told us who your favorite character was.” Cisco called, tossing popcorn at you. 

You leaned into the couch thoughtfully. 

“I guess Barry is.” You spoke.

“Really?” He said, clearly flattered. 

You nod, playing with your bowl of snacks. 

“I guess in a way I related more to you. I’m an orphan too.” 

They’re all listening now.

“I’m sorry. We weren’t trying to pry.” Barry apologizes. You shake your head. 

“It’s okay. It’s not that bad. It was just a little hard growing up. Everything I have I had to work for. In a way watching your character felt like watching myself. You had a hard start, but you still made something of yourself and that's admirable. I wanted to be just like you. “ Barry smiles. Pulling you into a half hug and you grin. 

“Okay, okay we get it.” You laugh at Cisco. 

“You’re one of the characters I had a crush on though Cisco.” 

“What, girl for real?” 

You nod. 

“Yep. It’s the long hair. Definitely a weakness.” He begins playing with his hair and Caitlin giggles. 

“Please don’t give him a big head.” 

“I’ll try not to.” 

Cisco grins.

“I kind of wish you had a friend that we could pair Dr. Wells with. Maybe then we could get him to stop being so private and quiet. I bet you if he had a girlfriend he’d come back out of his shell.” 

Caitlin smacked his shoulder and Cisco just continued to laugh. 

It was just a jab, you knew that. But deep down you wondered if he had someone to be his moral compass, then maybe he would give up this whole master plan. 

With that thought, you returned the following morning with a new goal. If you could maybe figure him out, maybe you could flip him for the good. The moments you weren’t running through equations, you would steal glances at him. You try to observe his likes, dislikes. Ticks. Anything that could give you just a hint of his personality. This outer part is just a persona, you know that. But despite that, you know there must be times where his true self slips out. 

“Is there something that I can help you with Ms. (L/N).” 

His tone is polite for obvious reasons. Caitlin and Cisco turn. It dawns on you that maybe you weren’t being subtle.

“N-No Dr. Wells!” You speed down to your room and Cisco shrugs. 

“Wonder what’s up with her?” He says absentmindedly. 

Eobard intends to find out just that. He hasn’t been blind to the subtle glances. If you’re planning something, he intends to use any means to discourage you from acting impulsive. When he gets to the door, he doesn’t even knock. He pushes the door open and you flinch. Once inside, the door slams shut. He stands, stretching.

“Planning something I should know about?” 

He doesn’t fail to intimidate. When he shows you his true colors, it’s like the air shifted. You stay planted firmly. This time you’re not going to back down like a coward. Maybe if you make your intentions known, you can throw him off his game. You can change his perspective. 

“I-I’m going to make you fall in love with me.” 

He just stares for a second, because he’s not sure if you’re joking or being serious. His baffled look changes slowly to amusement. Pretty soon he’s laughing and you know why. Eobard speeds right over to you. He doesn’t miss the subtle jump you make, even though you try to hide it when you’re both eye to eye. 

“Do you really think such a foolish plan will work? I can see it whenever you look at me, you’re terrified. Even now, you’re quaking in your boots like a frightened little girl.” You swallow, puffing your chest. 

“How exactly do you intend to make me fall in love with you?” 

It’s a ridiculous statement, but he loves this, pulling your strings. 

You don’t say a word, not at first and that smirk on his lips grow wider. When you take a step forward and grab his cheeks, he plans to question it, but you press your lips to his and any thought he’d formulated has disappeared. 

You’ve indeed caught him off guard. Your eyes are closed and your heart is hammering to an unknown rhythm. After a few hot seconds, you pull back, licking your lips. You can still taste him. 

“Wow..” 

That was an impulse move. You were just trying to prove a point, but you can’t deny that it felt good. Before the whole evil speedster ordeal you did have a healthy crush on the man. Eobard is still somewhat gaping at you. 

Well that worked, you suppose. You release him, taking a step back. 

“You’re not the only one who’s driven. I won’t lose.” 

That’s all you say as you walk away from him. Even when the door closes behind him, he doesn’t truly process it. His hand hesitantly moves to his lips. That shouldn’t have phased him. Not in the slightest. But he felt it. That kiss. Your touch. He finds himself licking his lips, just to get another taste.

“Shit.” 

He underestimated you. 

Following that encounter, Eobard is unsure how to go about intimidating you. It was as if you’d gained the upper hand somehow. In the lab with Barry and the others, you’re unnaturally nice to him. When the both of you are alone, you’ll brush by him or casually blow off the little threats he makes about getting in the way of his plan. 

During one particular battle in Star Labs, Barry has managed to subdue the chaotic meta, not before they had released a minor shockwave. It had knocked all of them off their feet before Barry grabbed the cuffs. When the criminal was safely restrained, he bolted to the pipeline. Cisco and Cailtin were still picking themselves off the floor. He hated situations where he had to pretend to be helpless. It was a little degrading. That was the price he had to pay. 

By some grace, you’d landed right on top of him. His legs were sprawled on the floor and you were straddling his hips. You looked down for a second, clearly disoriented. When you gathered yourself, you tried to stand and his eyes ended up focused right on your bust that was now in full view. 

“Dr. Wells are you okay?”

Your soft voice rang in his ear and he finally made eye contact. He cursed himself for the moment of weakness. Maybe it was the fact that he’d never indulged in those desires that he was now feeling a dull ache in his groin. He covered it well, nodding as he allowed you to help him back into wheelchair. 

“I’m fine.” His tone was gruff, and you bent over to inspect him for injuries. Although you knew of his capabilities, he was just like Barry. That meant sustaining an injury was possible. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Caitlin and Cisco seemed otherwise occupied with picking up falling tech and some computers. He groaned, once again being face to face with your cleavage. 

Eobard gripped your wrist with a low growl.

“Stop bending over.” 

It’s a hiss. 

For a moment you’re confused, but then your eyes finally trail to where his eyes lay, your cheeks erupt in color. You pull back quickly, fumbling over your words. 

“I-I’m going to help Barry!” 

You declared. You were rushing out of the cortex before they could question it and Eobard shifted in his seat, agitated with the problem he now had to deal with. 

He was positive that it couldn’t get worse than that. Your little distractions have been driving him up a wall. He’d been so sure that it was a bluff you made that day. Making him fall in love. It wasn’t logical. This wasn’t logical. 

The ring at his door tore him away from his thoughts and when he opened the door, he’s a bit irritated at the big smile you wear. 

“Hey.” 

You sound so casually as you just barge inside. He closes the door behind. 

“How long do you think this charade is going to work?” He questions 

“I should be asking you the same question. I told you, I won't quit. I won’t stop trying to-”  

“To what! Make me develop feelings for you. Do you realize how ridiculous that is? I’m a monster. I could gut you right here and I wouldn’t feel a thing.” He rises from his chair. 

“Then why don’t you?” You tilt your head and his brows furrow. 

“You seem to think that the only reason I’m doing this is to save Barry and the others. You’re right, a huge part of this is to protect them. I care about them. I won’t just sit here and watch you hurt them.” You walk closer, and he studies you. 

“But the other part of me knows that you’re not as heartless as you claimed to be. “ You circle him. 

“When you thought that I was on to you, you could have ended it all right there. But you let me live. It didn’t make sense. You know I’m from a different universe, so any harm to me wouldn’t even touch this timeline. Instead of getting rid of me, you made a deal.” 

“I didn’t need the extra paperwork.” He says sarcastically. 

You stop right in front of him. 

“That’s not it. When I came here, you must have felt something. Even if it was just a spark, you felt it.” 

“You're wrong.” He holds your gaze, but it isn’t the same. 

“You’ve had feelings for me from the very start..” You whisper. 

“No..NO!!” 

He seems adamant on denying it. You move in, taking his hand and he visibly deflates. You lift his hand placing it right at the center of your chest, much like he’d done when he tried to coerce the truth out of you about his identity. His gaze doesn’t look as sure. 

“Do it.” 

He gulps. His hand is shaking and for once it’s not due to the vibrations. 

“I can’t..” 

He couldn’t believe this. How had he let this happen?

You take a step forward and when you hug him, his body is stiff. His hands fall at his side. 

“I guess I did win..” 

It’s not a boast, you sound just as surprised as he is right now. Your hands gently trail down his shoulders, laying right on his chest. When you leave a kiss on his neck, his eyes close, letting out a staggered breath. You keep trailing kisses along his skin. Along his neck, right on his cheek. Your fingers begin to drift down and that snaps him out of his trance. He grabs your hand, speeding out of the room. Your eyes open and you’re pinned to the bed, staring up at him. 

“Stop.” 

He warns.

You just grin. 

“If you really wanted me to stop, why did you bring me to your bed?”

He’s about to object, but he takes in the space and you can see the shock on his face. You bite your lip, pushing him onto his back as you switch positions. Eobard just gapes. 

“I’ve spent most of my life depriving myself of so much because I thought it was the only way to get what I wanted. I’m done with that. From now on I’m going to be honest about what I want. What I need. What I need right now is for you to make love to me.” 

He’s not sure how to go about dealing with this situation. 

You lean down, sliding your knee between his legs and he holds back a sharp hiss. 

“Make love to me..” You coax. 

Eobard grits his teeth, pulling you down for a desperate kiss. You smile, responding with just as much urgency. 

That night ended with the both of you buried in his sheets. He can’t say for sure if it had truly happened. He vaguely remembers your soft moans of encouragement. His body connected to yours. It felt too real to be an illusion. 

He woke the next morning to a note from you to meet him in the lab. It was six in the morning, he knew for a fact that no one else would be there. That’s why he’d discarded his chair and just ran over. You stood at the center with your machine on a trolley. The wind tossing your hair made you smile as you looked down. You didn’t turn to look at him, not at all. But he could hear the smile in your voice. 

“I’m going back home. I already left my goodbyes for the rest of the team. If I see their faces I know I’ll lose my nerve. I left instructions for Cisco. After three days, he needs to destroy the machine to protect all of you. “ You finally turned around to face him. 

“When I’m gone you have three days. Three days to decide if you want to have a better life, or if you want to be the big bad that Barry faces. I think you know as well as I do that if all that I’ve said is true, in the end, Barry will win.” 

Eobard clenches his hand. 

“I’m not going to force you, it’s your choice.” 

It’s hard for you to deal with, but he needs to make the decision. It doesn’t stop the tears from coming. You move to him, reaching out, you hug him, because it’s possible that this is the last time you’ll ever be this close to him again. Your grip tightens, and you cry when he returns the embrace. 

It hurts, more than you thought possible. You’d fallen so hard and fast for someone you should have resented. 

Another lesson learned. 

You pull back slowly, a bit astonished that there are actual tears in his eyes. You kiss him in hopes that the feeling will stay engraved in your mind. When you finally part, your breath is a bit staggered. You release him completely, moving away from him.

Eobard reaches out for you instinctively, and you shake your head, placing your hand on the button as you turn on the machine. A light sparks into the room, and when he sees the steady stream of lightning now emitting from your body, his eyes grow wide. You just smile. 

“Come and find me.” 

It’s the last words he hears before the room becomes quiet. Not a sound.