me: I don't know how long to cook my chicken patty in the toaster oven
friend: You wanna make sure it's fully cooked so you don't get buttdeath
me: It's one of those precooked patties
friend: Try 3 minutes
me: I have no clue, I'm probably gonna burn the fuckwit out of it.
friend: It doesn't have a chicken setting?
me: No, I put it on toast.
friend: Chicken isn't toast quit trying to fuck with my head!
me: CHOAST












