#chiona

A loud knock on the door stirred Roy from his deep sleep. Squinting and grumpy, he sat up and rubbed his eyes groggily. The knocking was rhythmic, loud and continuous, and the noise was drilling into Roy’s brain, impossible for him to ignore.

“What the fuck…” he muttered, checking the time. It was 4am. Who could be knocking on his door with such determination at this time of night? Coughing, he sat up and stumbled to the front door. When the knocking still wouldn’t stop, he got incredibly agitated and yelled out in a hoarse voice that he was coming. He opened the door, preparing himself to yell at whoever was behind it, but stopped himself when he was met with a pair of glassy, green eyes.

“Danny? What are you do doing here?” Roy asked, rubbing his eyes. Danny was the last person he expected to see standing at his front door at 4am, crying his eyes out. Roy was in shock; in all their years of friendship he had never seen him like this before. Danny’s eyes were red and puffy, tears streaming from them, his makeup smudged and chaotic. Sure, Roy had seen him cry before, but this time, something was different. This time he seemed so small, so dishevelled and wrecked, that this seemed more like a breakdown.

“Can I come in?” he asked in a small voice, sniffing.

“Of course you can,” Roy opened the door properly so his friend could walk in, “Danny, what’s wrong?”

Danny didn’t respond, but kept walking, making a beeline for the kitchen. Roy slowly followed after him, and when he stopped, Danny was standing in the kitchen in the kitchen, downing a glass of water. Roy turned on the lights, making Danny squint and screw up his face. It was different seeing him in this light; when Roy could see Danny’s face more clearly it became apparent that Danny had been crying for a long time, and that he hadn’t had very much sleep over the past few days, indicated by the puffiness of his eyes, and dark bags circling them. Roy sat on a barstool, watching Danny calm himself down. He felt guilty at the thought that he found Danny quite beautiful when he cried. The tears brought out his dark green eyes, and Roy was drowning in them.

“Sorry for showing up out of the blue like this” Danny finally broke the silence, sitting up on the kitchen counter and crossing his legs.

“It’s okay, Danny, just… talk to me. What’s the matter? Aren’t you supposed to be filming for All Stars?”

“I left” Danny stated blankly, his expression shifting from distraught to uncomfortably blank.

“Wh-you were eliminated? I’m gonna cut up Ru’s wigs if you-”

“No,” Danny cut him of, smiling slightly at how quick Roy was to defend him, “I left. I had a bit of a breakdown and…tapped out. I came here straight from the airport because I… I don’t know, I just needed you”

Roy'a heart warmed, but he was left speechless. Tapping out? That was the last thing he expected Danny to do.

“What set off the breakdown?” , was all he could think to ask.

“Lots of things, I guess…,” Danny contemplated, tears still streaming down his cheeks, “this breakup is still fucking with my head, and I’ve been working myself too hard and I’m just so exhausted. And, the critiques on the main stage were just bringing down and criticising my aesthetic, and I just… I just couldn’t handle it”. He stopped himself from saying any more, realising he was rambling. He didn’t want to bore Roy.

“Geez, Danny, why didn’t you come to talk to me about all that shit?” Roy asked, a sympathetic yet critical tone in his voice, as he reached out to hold Danny’s hand.

“Because I didn’t want to…” Danny answered, his head spinning, as he grabbed onto Roy’s hand and squeezed it tight, “I was depressed as hell and I was suppressing everything and bottling it all up, and I guess I finally broke” Danny’s voice cracked, starting to sob again.

“Oh Danny…” Roy comforted, his heart breaking at the sight of his best friend in such a state. He had no idea things had been so hard for Danny, and he almost felt guilty for being so absent recently. Roy climbed up onto the kitchen counter so he could give Danny a tight hug. The younger boy clung onto Roy for dear life, unable to make sense of all the thoughts whirring through his head.

“I just feel so weak” Danny finally admitted, burying his head into Roy’s chest. Roy pushed him away gently and grabbed him by the shoulders, staring him straight in the eye. He tried his hardest to not be too distracted by how beautiful they looked.

“You aren’t weak. You knew what you had to do to be happy, and if that meant leaving, it meant leaving. Prioritising your mental health over your job isn’t weak, Danny.” he asserted. Roy wiped a tear from Danny’s cheek, smiled at him softly and told him, “You’re one of the strongest people I know”

Danny smiled sadly at Roy, tears continuing to fall. It was moments like these that he was so, incredibly grateful for Roy. He wasn’t joking when he said that Roy was his ride or die. Danny leaned over and kissed Roy on the cheek, pulling him into another hug.

“Thank you” he whispered into his ear. Roy smiled and kissed his cheek back, wrapping his arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

“Could I sleep here tonight?” Danny asked

“Of course you can” Roy agreed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “There’s not much left of the night anyway”

“Sorry about that,” Danny grinned, but still felt guilty for showing up unannounced,“Can I sleep in your bed, next to you?” he asked timidly.

Roy smiled softly, and kissed Danny on the head

“Sure, chola. As long as you don’t try to suck me off”

“Shut up, you cunt” Danny laughed, punching him on the shoulder. Roy couldn’t help but smile when he heard Danny’s laugh ; it was so full and genuine that it instantly made him happy. They climbed off the counter and made their way to Roy’s bedroom, climbing under the warmth of the blankets.

Danny got himself comfortable, resting his head on Roy’s chest.

“Goodnight Roy” he whispered, closing his eyes, “and… thank you for always being there for me. I’ll return the favour one day”

“There’s no need, chola,” Roy responded, “Goodnight, Danny”

Long after he said good night, Roy’s eyes remained wide open, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of Danny’s breathing evening out. After about 10 minutes, he couldn’t sleep. His thoughts about Danny were spiralling through his head ; thinking of how he had such a soft spot for him ; how much he loved him ; wondering why there were butterflies in his stomach whenever he and Danny made the slightest contact. He just couldn’t stop thinking.

He was dragged out of his thoughts by Danny shifting slightly in his sleep, nestling in closer to Roy. He waited for a few seconds, until he was sure Danny was asleep, and then leaned over to kiss his forehead, softly whispering,